Friday, June 17, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 6/17/05 - On Blast

On Blast
Today we’re putting Lady Long Legs On Blast with: Do you think women who were raised with a father in the household are more stable and have better relationships than women who were raised by a single mother? And when I say father, I mean a positive role model (working, paying the bills, respecting the mother, etc.)?

It stands to reason that more is learned through experiencing healthy relationships first hand, than being told what they’re suppose to function as. Unfortunately, the reality is that 28% of all children in the U.S. live with one parent. That’s 20 million American kids who do not experience a two-parent household. Of those one-parent households, 84% live with their mother. In 1997 alone, 32% of all American births were from single mothers. With numbers like these, it’s no surprise that most adults enter relationships with no constructive experiences to draw upon. Just think, if you are raised around a household where the parent teaches you to cook and you watch their technique, it is more likely that you will be a good cook. The same applies in relationships. Adults who were raised in two-parent households that had loving parents in a healthy relationship, can likely determine what behaviors are inappropriate or unacceptable in their own relationships. Additionally, folks will normally seek out a partner with qualities with those possessed by their parents. However, this isn’t to say that adults raised in single-parent households can’t/won’t experience healthy relationships. With adequate coaching and mentoring a single parent can help nurture healthy relationship qualities in their impressionable children. Ultimately LLL, the short and sweet (and it never is) is that folks that grow up in two-parent households, where parents are in a healthy relationship, have more to draw on when attempting to mirror those behaviors.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I grew up without my father present or any other male for that matter. I have found that I have had problems with men. By that I mean, I tend to be on the defense. I am afraid to let a man lead. I can do everything myself. I don't need a man, I just want one.

The bad part is that I have 2 sons that I am raising alone and they hear me talk about men being no good and always hurting women. I try to watch what I say around them but it is really hard. The men always prove me right. They have even seen some of complaints in action. My oldest son sees men looking at women like meat and saying anything out of their mouths and he asks why men do that? He said he would never think to speak or even look at a woman in such a way.

I have taught them to be strong men and to respect not only women but all people. I feel a void in my life and I know it is the father figure that I lack. Thank goodness for my Heavenly Father!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous...some boys that grow up in a household with only a woman or women leading, tend to grow up and have more respect for women because they have seen mama or grandma struggle. I'm sure you are doing a good job. Keep up the good work and don't let these men out her get you down. You are right...you don't NEED a man but they are good to have around (sometimes)!

Unknown said...

I had a mom and dad that, to this day, are in a loving relationship. I've found that thanks to their examples, interactions, etc. I have preferred stronger women (when I was going there) and like supportive (fairly conservative) men today. My strongest relationships have been with folks who mirrored my parents and shared a lot of their qualities. With 41 years of marriage under their belt, my parents have proven by example, what it takes to build on a lifelong relationship. I can only hope to find a similar arrangement. ...Marcia, are we still doing this if the whole "gay" thing falls through?
...hit me back :)

Anonymous said...

LaLa & Caspar - Do you think you have had successful or failed relationships because you did or did not have a positive male in the household?

Anonymous said...

I would say that I would have had better relationships if I had had a male present when growing up. I have settled for guys in the past that were complete LOSERS but gave me the attention I desired.

I am very attention oriented when it comes to men because I never got that male attention. It has caused me to be more "flirtatious" than most because of the lack of male attention.