We are through with the past, but the past is not through with us.
On Blast
What does the above statement mean to you?
Keep passin' the open windows...
Friday, September 29, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/27/06
Maybe
By Cocoa Rican
I thought it through and maybe I wasn’t born at the right time.
Life gets rough and I’m beginning to think that maybe I was born to the wrong parents.
I’m lacking forward momentum and right about now it seems that maybe I don’t have the gumption to succeed.
Since karma has a way of knocking us back on our asses maybe my failed relationships were just my indiscretions reciprocated.
The sex I had the other night seemed pointless and without passion; maybe I need to save my soul-sharing for someone who means something.
After carefully exploring long term relationships I’m convinced that maybe the participants are making serious compromises.
If I give more of myself to my friends, maybe I’ll be left feeling used and unappreciated.
If I were to die today maybe I’d be remembered by someone who never revealed how they felt about me.
Is the true meaning of life that we leave an indelible mark on the world or maybe life is just intended to be shared with people of substance without regard to my contributions?
If love expects nothing in return maybe it ends up empty-handed and more importantly, empty-hearted in an unrequited state.
Maybe everything that means anything to me now is temporary.
Maybe my wish for complete happiness is in this moment.
Maybe I’ve arrived and everyone has already left.
Maybe, just maybe, the failure to connect is in the word.
Maybe.
On Blast
Words. They can cut deeper than a knife and be remembered long after the sounds are uttered. Words have the power to heal, hurt and inspire. Words can chase someone away or they can make someone never think of leaving. More powerful than a charging elephant, louder than a clap of thunder, softer than a rose petal – words. What word do you feel diminishes you and drains your inner strength? Conversely, what word defines your inner being?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
By Cocoa Rican
I thought it through and maybe I wasn’t born at the right time.
Life gets rough and I’m beginning to think that maybe I was born to the wrong parents.
I’m lacking forward momentum and right about now it seems that maybe I don’t have the gumption to succeed.
Since karma has a way of knocking us back on our asses maybe my failed relationships were just my indiscretions reciprocated.
The sex I had the other night seemed pointless and without passion; maybe I need to save my soul-sharing for someone who means something.
After carefully exploring long term relationships I’m convinced that maybe the participants are making serious compromises.
If I give more of myself to my friends, maybe I’ll be left feeling used and unappreciated.
If I were to die today maybe I’d be remembered by someone who never revealed how they felt about me.
Is the true meaning of life that we leave an indelible mark on the world or maybe life is just intended to be shared with people of substance without regard to my contributions?
If love expects nothing in return maybe it ends up empty-handed and more importantly, empty-hearted in an unrequited state.
Maybe everything that means anything to me now is temporary.
Maybe my wish for complete happiness is in this moment.
Maybe I’ve arrived and everyone has already left.
Maybe, just maybe, the failure to connect is in the word.
Maybe.
On Blast
Words. They can cut deeper than a knife and be remembered long after the sounds are uttered. Words have the power to heal, hurt and inspire. Words can chase someone away or they can make someone never think of leaving. More powerful than a charging elephant, louder than a clap of thunder, softer than a rose petal – words. What word do you feel diminishes you and drains your inner strength? Conversely, what word defines your inner being?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/26/06
Diversity; Fact and Fiction
Over 41% of the state and federal inmate population is African American males, while only 4% of the population of institutions of higher learning is African American males. Obstacles ranging from poor public education, high drop-out rates, lack of male role models and low aspirations have been sited as the reasons behind the numbers, but there are those African American males that do struggle to get higher education degrees and are finding it harder and harder to break the glass ceiling and hold key corporate positions. Some attribute the disparity in promotion opportunities to lack of preparation and experience, but the fact remains that African Americans must be better than their competitors to move ahead. Rather than feel victimized by the powers-that-be, parents, guardians and mentors of African American youngsters should instill a drive to be prepared and disregard the notion that equality exists in corporate America. It isn’t enough to have a higher education. Youngsters must have a plethora of interests and social skills to help maneuver them into positions that persistently escape the grasp of African American professionals. As unfair as it may appear to be required to be twice as qualified as your competitors to excel, African American youngsters should accept this as a reality of success.
Temporary Neutering? Anal Penetration
The prostate is a gland located adjacent to the anus. Milking the prostate is a process in which the prostate is massaged (during either anal penetration or through external massaging of the perineum) until the seminal fluids in it are expelled. It is considered a prostate orgasm. No genital stimulation is necessary. The prostate is considered a man’s A-Spot (rather than G-spot) meaning Peace Place. Following having his seminal fluids drained a man experiences a peaceful sense of relief and does not experience genital stimulation or erection – it is a temporary neutering of sorts. Not every instance of anal penetration will produce a prostate orgasm and the need for genital stimulation is not replaced by this orgasm. This procedure is also done in a medical setting to relieve chronic prostatitis. There is no permanent damage to the prostate gland during prostate orgasms and the feeling of sexual resolution (climax) is not experienced.
J-Timb; B-Day; Coming Home
Brining Sexy Back has its benefits. Justin Timberlake is celebrating holding the number one spot on both the top 100 and top 200 Billboard charts. His Future Sex / Love Sounds CD has been on the charts for one week. My girl, Beyonce Knowles (B) has her claws in the number 3 spot with B-Day. Her CD has also been on the charts for one week. Most surprising is Lionel Richie’s Coming Home – brand new to the scene – and already holding the number 6 spot. Who knew?
On Blast
Most companies have plans in place to encourage a diverse workforce. Do you still believe that racism and prejudice affect hiring and promotions in corporate America? Have you ever experienced an incidence of discrimination in the workplace? What, if anything, did you do about it?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Over 41% of the state and federal inmate population is African American males, while only 4% of the population of institutions of higher learning is African American males. Obstacles ranging from poor public education, high drop-out rates, lack of male role models and low aspirations have been sited as the reasons behind the numbers, but there are those African American males that do struggle to get higher education degrees and are finding it harder and harder to break the glass ceiling and hold key corporate positions. Some attribute the disparity in promotion opportunities to lack of preparation and experience, but the fact remains that African Americans must be better than their competitors to move ahead. Rather than feel victimized by the powers-that-be, parents, guardians and mentors of African American youngsters should instill a drive to be prepared and disregard the notion that equality exists in corporate America. It isn’t enough to have a higher education. Youngsters must have a plethora of interests and social skills to help maneuver them into positions that persistently escape the grasp of African American professionals. As unfair as it may appear to be required to be twice as qualified as your competitors to excel, African American youngsters should accept this as a reality of success.
Temporary Neutering? Anal Penetration
The prostate is a gland located adjacent to the anus. Milking the prostate is a process in which the prostate is massaged (during either anal penetration or through external massaging of the perineum) until the seminal fluids in it are expelled. It is considered a prostate orgasm. No genital stimulation is necessary. The prostate is considered a man’s A-Spot (rather than G-spot) meaning Peace Place. Following having his seminal fluids drained a man experiences a peaceful sense of relief and does not experience genital stimulation or erection – it is a temporary neutering of sorts. Not every instance of anal penetration will produce a prostate orgasm and the need for genital stimulation is not replaced by this orgasm. This procedure is also done in a medical setting to relieve chronic prostatitis. There is no permanent damage to the prostate gland during prostate orgasms and the feeling of sexual resolution (climax) is not experienced.
J-Timb; B-Day; Coming Home
Brining Sexy Back has its benefits. Justin Timberlake is celebrating holding the number one spot on both the top 100 and top 200 Billboard charts. His Future Sex / Love Sounds CD has been on the charts for one week. My girl, Beyonce Knowles (B) has her claws in the number 3 spot with B-Day. Her CD has also been on the charts for one week. Most surprising is Lionel Richie’s Coming Home – brand new to the scene – and already holding the number 6 spot. Who knew?
On Blast
Most companies have plans in place to encourage a diverse workforce. Do you still believe that racism and prejudice affect hiring and promotions in corporate America? Have you ever experienced an incidence of discrimination in the workplace? What, if anything, did you do about it?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Friday, September 22, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/22/06
On Blast
Whether it’s heights, relationships, intimacy or success, we all have something we fear. Unfortunately, we are the only person who can help overcome our own fears and many times we are the very person standing in the way of progress. Personally, my fears hold me in a thankless career pattern that frustrates me to the point of making me physically ill. Luckily, responsibility helps me overcome the paralysis of self-sabotage and I find myself skipping-along down the road of complacency. So, let’s see if you can keep it real. What’s your greatest fear? What do you do to keep this fear concealed? How do you feel this fear has impeded you realizing your full potential?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Whether it’s heights, relationships, intimacy or success, we all have something we fear. Unfortunately, we are the only person who can help overcome our own fears and many times we are the very person standing in the way of progress. Personally, my fears hold me in a thankless career pattern that frustrates me to the point of making me physically ill. Luckily, responsibility helps me overcome the paralysis of self-sabotage and I find myself skipping-along down the road of complacency. So, let’s see if you can keep it real. What’s your greatest fear? What do you do to keep this fear concealed? How do you feel this fear has impeded you realizing your full potential?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/20/06
I’m Not Gay; I Just Sleep With Men
A survey done by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene found that 70% of the men who mentioned having sex with other men, were married. Another study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine showed that 10% of the New York men surveyed said that they were heterosexual, but had sex with at least one man in the previous year. These two studies highlight the need to identify risky behaviors rather than targeting those that self-identify as gay. Although it is 2006, being gay still has social stigmas that encourage some men to refuse to accept their homosexuality and instead lead duplicitous lives. The message appears to remain the same – get tested, have safe sex and treat everyone as though they are infected.
Ms. Janet You’re Just Nasty
Janet Jackson was at the center of a serious controversy for her wardrobe malfunction during 2004’s Super Bowl performance. Now, she voluntarily is showing her breasts again for her So Excited video, flirtatiously covering her nipples just before the camera pans to her nude breasts. I defended the 2004 wardrobe malfunction as a mistake she apologized for and felt that MTV’s current ban of Jackson is uncalled for – especially when Justin Timberlake is trying hard to ‘Bring Sexy Back’. Now, the soft-spoken Jackson is thumbing her nose at the establishment and foolishly giving credence that the malfunction was very much an intended publicity stunt. With Timberlake bringing ‘Sexy Back’ I hoped Jackson would hold her boobies back.
Noah’s Arc; Tonight at 10 p.m.
The boys of NA finally got that down-low mess, Guy, out of the way and we can now resume the real storyline – will Noah and Wade finally reunite before season 2 ends? On an interview on www.logoonline.com the actor who plays Dre, Merwin Modesir, eluded to his character initially playing extra nice with Noah to show he wasn’t intimidated by Wade and Noah’s history, but seeing as though Wade and Noah are always looking at each other longingly, his portrayal of Dre will change into a more protective stance. Look out Noah! Ricky, played by Christian Vincent and Junito, played by Wilson Cruz, are still riding the wings of love. Will Ricky be able to be true now that he’s told Junito he loves him? Then there’s Noah… With his recent romance with Quincy, played by Keith Hamilton – formerly Noah on All My Children – Noah may find love in the arms of someone who thinks the world of him and looks good first thing in the morning! Tune in tonight for all the eye candy, laughs and drama. If you’d like to take a peek at the cast, please check out http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/noahs_arc_2/cast.jhtml
We’ll chat about tonight’s episode tomorrow.
On Blast
Admittedly, Janet Jackson is stunning at 40. All nips and tucks aside, Jackson is a musical icon with years of proven success and sex appeal. With the current bevy of beauties on the music circuit (Beyonce, Rihana, Kalis, etc.) is an artist of Janet’s caliber required to resort to the same booty-bearing tactics or can she set a different standard because of her legendary success? Are artist such as Janet, Mariah, Mary J., Madonna and Whitney, still judged by the same standards as current young artists? Would you support a classier, more-refined, Janet?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
A survey done by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene found that 70% of the men who mentioned having sex with other men, were married. Another study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine showed that 10% of the New York men surveyed said that they were heterosexual, but had sex with at least one man in the previous year. These two studies highlight the need to identify risky behaviors rather than targeting those that self-identify as gay. Although it is 2006, being gay still has social stigmas that encourage some men to refuse to accept their homosexuality and instead lead duplicitous lives. The message appears to remain the same – get tested, have safe sex and treat everyone as though they are infected.
Ms. Janet You’re Just Nasty
Janet Jackson was at the center of a serious controversy for her wardrobe malfunction during 2004’s Super Bowl performance. Now, she voluntarily is showing her breasts again for her So Excited video, flirtatiously covering her nipples just before the camera pans to her nude breasts. I defended the 2004 wardrobe malfunction as a mistake she apologized for and felt that MTV’s current ban of Jackson is uncalled for – especially when Justin Timberlake is trying hard to ‘Bring Sexy Back’. Now, the soft-spoken Jackson is thumbing her nose at the establishment and foolishly giving credence that the malfunction was very much an intended publicity stunt. With Timberlake bringing ‘Sexy Back’ I hoped Jackson would hold her boobies back.
Noah’s Arc; Tonight at 10 p.m.
The boys of NA finally got that down-low mess, Guy, out of the way and we can now resume the real storyline – will Noah and Wade finally reunite before season 2 ends? On an interview on www.logoonline.com the actor who plays Dre, Merwin Modesir, eluded to his character initially playing extra nice with Noah to show he wasn’t intimidated by Wade and Noah’s history, but seeing as though Wade and Noah are always looking at each other longingly, his portrayal of Dre will change into a more protective stance. Look out Noah! Ricky, played by Christian Vincent and Junito, played by Wilson Cruz, are still riding the wings of love. Will Ricky be able to be true now that he’s told Junito he loves him? Then there’s Noah… With his recent romance with Quincy, played by Keith Hamilton – formerly Noah on All My Children – Noah may find love in the arms of someone who thinks the world of him and looks good first thing in the morning! Tune in tonight for all the eye candy, laughs and drama. If you’d like to take a peek at the cast, please check out http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/noahs_arc_2/cast.jhtml
We’ll chat about tonight’s episode tomorrow.
On Blast
Admittedly, Janet Jackson is stunning at 40. All nips and tucks aside, Jackson is a musical icon with years of proven success and sex appeal. With the current bevy of beauties on the music circuit (Beyonce, Rihana, Kalis, etc.) is an artist of Janet’s caliber required to resort to the same booty-bearing tactics or can she set a different standard because of her legendary success? Are artist such as Janet, Mariah, Mary J., Madonna and Whitney, still judged by the same standards as current young artists? Would you support a classier, more-refined, Janet?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/19/06
On Blast
A lesson in friendship….
You’re born into your family, you’re forced to get along with your colleagues, but you choose your friends. Sometimes friendships need to be evaluated to determine if they still serve their purpose. Friendship is camaraderie. Your friends should respect your values, be honest with you when you call on their advice and love you through your faults. There are times when friends grow apart or come to a fork in the road that defines where their friendship will go. It is at these times that some relationships take an odd course and the partnership turns into a power struggle that defies the boundaries of trust, loyalty and respect. When these times occur, we can sometimes confuse true friendship and the overwhelming desire to maintain something that is merely safe in its longevity. In short, friendship is not defined by time or our shared history. Friendship is defined by our ability to share our lives with like souls. Recognize the difference between your acquaintances and your friends. Most importantly, know when the actions of your “friends” speak to the quality of your relationship.
Have you had an instance when the actions of a “friend” have made you call to question your relationship? Did you determine that you wanted to continue this relationship or did you terminate the friendship?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
A lesson in friendship….
You’re born into your family, you’re forced to get along with your colleagues, but you choose your friends. Sometimes friendships need to be evaluated to determine if they still serve their purpose. Friendship is camaraderie. Your friends should respect your values, be honest with you when you call on their advice and love you through your faults. There are times when friends grow apart or come to a fork in the road that defines where their friendship will go. It is at these times that some relationships take an odd course and the partnership turns into a power struggle that defies the boundaries of trust, loyalty and respect. When these times occur, we can sometimes confuse true friendship and the overwhelming desire to maintain something that is merely safe in its longevity. In short, friendship is not defined by time or our shared history. Friendship is defined by our ability to share our lives with like souls. Recognize the difference between your acquaintances and your friends. Most importantly, know when the actions of your “friends” speak to the quality of your relationship.
Have you had an instance when the actions of a “friend” have made you call to question your relationship? Did you determine that you wanted to continue this relationship or did you terminate the friendship?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Friday, September 15, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/15/06
LQs Tonight; You Only Live Once
At 5:30 this evening we will join friends and family at LQs (Latin Quarters) to celebrate the end of summer. Catch-up, network or just let your hair down, but don’t miss out on the opportunity to have an enjoyable evening. Ladies are free and gentlemen pay only $5. Drinks are 2-for-1 until 7 p.m. and there’s even a free buffet until 6:30 p.m. For those of you who are ready to shake a tail feather, LQs features the hottest in R&B, Salsa, Soul, Reggaeton and Freestyle. There’s something for everybody, so don’t miss out on this EOS celebration!!
** LQs; Between 47th and 48th Street and Lexington Avenue; NYC
Power; I Giveth and I Taketh Away
Yesterday I was speaking to a friend that was extremely upset about what the rumor mill was circulating about her. As it turns out someone said she said something to someone….well, you get the picture. To be honest, the solution to this problem is simple. Here are the Cocoa rules for tackling the rumor mill:
1. I am an adult and as such can/will say and do what I please and accept the consequences for the same
2. You know nothing about me except what I tell you to be true. Anything else you surmise is simply your opinion.
3. You’re speaking ill of me in no way impacts my reputation; it is a reflection of your character and your personality.
4. If you talk to me about others chances are you talk to others about me; you’re a loser
5. I proudly hold my head high at all times knowing that I am a respectable person with no one to answer to but myself.
There is no deviating from these five rules. Adults must learn that any power or credence you give to rumors that are being spread about you are only validated by you becoming irate or disheveled. Know this: You have no powers here. In my life, you only have the power I give you.
B-Day #1; Hate If You Will
At 25, Beyonce Knowles has proven that hard work – yes hard work – pays off. Her new album B-Day made its debut at number one on the Billboard’s Top 200 Best Selling list. B may not be the well versed PR dream that other artists are, but she does deliver on what she is talented at – music. We can disagree on the quality of her songs and voice, but Beyonce is a successful artist. It’s time that we stand behind our successful minority artist – especially when that artist is one that isn’t enveloped in some disastrous scandal that overshadows her career. She’s not a drug-addict, her relationship isn’t on the front pages of the Enquirer and she’s admired worldwide. Can we give Beyonce some credit? Realistically speaking we could do worse for role models. Hey, if you prefer controversy and drama there are plenty of artists to support, but I think I’ll file behind someone who is successful at her craft and appears to have a true love for what she does.
On Blast
Heck no, we’re not at third base yet! Each of us has varying degrees of comfort with physical intimacy. While some of us consider deep kissing more intimate than penetration, there are those who feel anal sex is more intimate than oral sex. In the end, what is too intimate to engage in casually varies by person. What do you consider too intimate to engage in during casual sex? Is there anything you just would never engage in regardless of the intimacy between you and your partner? Feel free to use the “Anonymous” button if you feel your answer may expose your inner freak. :)
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/14/06
NA; Moving Right Along
Last night’s episode of Noah’s Arc was an improvement on what was quickly becoming, a drawn-out story line. The Arc (Alex, Ricky and Chance) finally fell in line behind Alex and realized that sometimes you have to believe in your friend enough to have his back. Guy’s plot to steal Trey away from Alex was exposed and brought to an end. Kudos to Guy for pulling off those HOT green micro shorts. It was hard hating the man when he was wearing the hell out of that second skin. Wade finally got “real” with Noah and told him a few harsh words that, in reality, needed to be said. To smooth things over, Wade still came through to show love wins out over resentment by getting Noah out of a tight situation. Eddie got fired for his support of his boss’ lesbian wife’s decision to leave her marriage and join her girlfriend of three years – good riddance… except what will they do about that mortgage payment. Wait! I know, sell little Kenya into black market slavery…nah, too “out there.” We haven’t revisited the Ricky and Junito love fest. It appears that plot line has proven too hum-drum to develop. Finally, we were left with Noah getting assaulted by three gay-hating thugs at a gas station. Admittedly, I didn’t expect this turn of events and expected Wade or Quincy to drive up and save Ms. Damsel-In-Distress, but we went all out with letting pretty boy get kicked around. Are we setting this storyline up for the Wade-Noah make-up? Whatever happens, Dre seems to be getting wind of that the end is near. His face showed all the insecurities and anger of a man who knows things aren’t looking good. We’ll tune in next week to see where the boys go next.
Saving All Our Love
A few stolen crack viles was all that they shared
They had a family; The child’s hair gave us a scare
Though we tried to resist; Watching her be a bitch
But no other star’s gonna do
So we’re saving all our old CDs, cuz their cool.
Whitney Houston filed for divorce on Wednesday from husband, Bobby Brown after 14 years of marriage. Houston’s publicist, Nancy Seltzer said the singer did not wish to make a statement. The two have a 13-year old daughter, Bobbi Kristina.
Gay-on-Gay Hate?
Yesterday while riding the train to work a lesbian couple boarded the crowded train. The “fem” of the two lesbians was forced next to me and as the train became more crowded she was pressed against me. I was reading my magazine and listening to my music, but looked up to see her masculine partner glaring angrily at me. I then realized she was annoyed to have her girlfriend wedged against me. There was nowhere for me to move, so I simply removed my headphones and attempted to veer to one side to appease her mounting discomfort. The masculine woman then loudly announced to her girlfriend, “Move closer to me because these n*ggers are trying to get their freak on this morning.” It left me with no recourse, but to address the matter, since I was the only “n*gger” in direct contact with her girlfriend. “Sweetie, the only thing your girlfriend could do for me is my nails,” I said to her a stern look on my face. “I wasn’t talking to you,” she continued. “Well, I was talking to you,” I retorted. We rode the rest of the way in a very tense stand-off that I felt was ridiculous, since we only served to give the gay-haters a show.
On Blast
Masculine lesbian women appear to have a deep-seated insecurity when it comes to men – even when the men in question are gay. Why would masculine lesbian women feel threatened by gay men? Is their a deep-seated penis envy/hate that plays into this equation?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/13/06
REMINDERS:
Tonight, the boys of LOGO’s Noah’s Arc are back. With the Alex fearing that, apparently psychotic Guy, is trying to steal his man and Wade acting like he rather stick with his “sure thing” boyfriend Drey than reverting to his heart and taking Noah back, tonight’s episode is sure to be HOT. If you missed last week’s episode, be sure to tune in at 9:30 p.m. The current episode airs at 10 p.m.
EOS – Our End of Summer after-work gathering at LQs is ready to pop-off this Friday, September 15. We’re set to begin at 5:30 p.m. Please note that ladies are free with coupon and men are $5. The 2-for-1 drinks are only from 5:30 – 7:00 p.m., so be sure to arrive in time to knock a few back! For those that would like to let-off some steam, LQs features, R&B, Salsa, Hip-Hop, Reggaeton and Freestyle music. LQs is located on Lexington Avenue, between 47th and 48th Streets. See ya’ there!
Rules Are Rules; Cut the Bleeding Heart
You would think that showing respect by wearing a t-shirt that says, “Remember 9/11” on the fifth anniversary of the tragic terrorist attacks would have your high school applauding your patriotism, but for Ben Lewandowski of Detroit, Michigan, it bought him a three-day suspension. The South Park High School dress code explicitly prohibits any t-shirt with writing – outside of support for school teams or its mascot. Lewandowski had already been sent home on the first day of school for wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the first amendment.
Denying the Children?
"Same sex unions deny children the vital relationship of either a mother or a father. That our public policies would sanction that position as the norm ... is unconscionable," says Evelyn Reilly of the Massachusetts Family Institute. Presently, Massachusetts, California, Connecticut, Illinois, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Vermont and the District of Columbia allow gay couples joint adoption rights. So what is to be said for single heterosexual parenting? Should we remove the children from male or female heterosexual single parents, who by choosing to be single parents, “deny” children a relationship with the opposite sex parent? More importantly, if we remove these children, what are the alternatives? Would they fair better in group homes and foster homes? An article in July's journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics dismisses the “deprivation” claims citing medical and academic research studies conducted since the 1970s and showing that kids raised by gay parents fare just as well as those raised by heterosexuals. Ultimately, both gay single folks and couples are usually allowed to adopt the problematic children, the older children and those who have been damaged by the social services system. It would appear ironic that you would place the most difficult cases in the hands of parents you don’t deem worthy of adoption. Personally, I believe the beauty of being gay is that I forgo the child-rearing process. I am afforded a life free of an enormous responsibility. Now, those gays that insist on being parents, I ask you, why not hold a straight-parent adoption drive to see how many of these religious and moral geniuses show up to take up such a noble cause? Whatever your belief, we can at least agree on the outcome of the drive.
On Blast
Bleeding hearts aside, are the rules the rules?
In the case of the kid who was suspended for showing patriotism, did the school act appropriately? If you believe that children fair better with heterosexual parents, is it best to have them remain in the foster care system because no heterosexual parents wish to adopt them?
The main question is: If there are rules and laws established, is it noble or foolish to violate them to do what you feel is right?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/12/06
Reliving Horror; 9/11 All Over the Tube
Last night I sat for a brain-numbing three hours of 9/11 footage. At first I was completely choked-up and was floored to see folks retell their stories of their final calls with their dying loved ones or the freakish survival stories of folks who just happen to choose the right staircase to make it out of the World Trade Center towers just minutes before their collapse. Ultimately, it’s a memory that we will forever live with. A day that rivals any horror, drama or tear-jerker script Hollywood could ever come up with. God willing we will never endure that type of soul-shattering tragedy again.
Mahogany Theme… Do You Know?
Have you had one of those days when you ask yourself, “Do you know where you’re going to; do you like the things that life is showing you?” Well, you know (or should) the words to the Diana Ross, Mahogany theme. Truth is, the question has been repeatedly popping in to my head and the truth is, I don’t know. I’m grateful for my family, my incredible friends and my new-found companions, but I’m perplexed on the “where to” factor. I’m at one of those crossroads where something has got to change. To be clear folks, I’m happy, comfortable and content…but I’m restless. It’s time for a change. In the coming weeks I’ll be exploring (and hopefully sharing with you) changes I’d like to make to improve myself. Please feel free to chime in (you guys are my extended dysfunctional family) to give your opinions.
Big “Ben” Theory
A breath of fresh air, a light in the dark
I enjoyed your banter, from the very start
Today you celebrate that special day
When your poor mom screamed and kicked where she lay
You’re beautiful, funny and definitely smart
Just the man for that special part
An actor by day, a realist by night
May today and always be glorious and bright
Happy Birthday!
On Blast
September 11 affected all Americans. Many of us are different for that one horrific experience. What personal tragedy has transformed your life and inspired a positive change for you? How are you different for it?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Last night I sat for a brain-numbing three hours of 9/11 footage. At first I was completely choked-up and was floored to see folks retell their stories of their final calls with their dying loved ones or the freakish survival stories of folks who just happen to choose the right staircase to make it out of the World Trade Center towers just minutes before their collapse. Ultimately, it’s a memory that we will forever live with. A day that rivals any horror, drama or tear-jerker script Hollywood could ever come up with. God willing we will never endure that type of soul-shattering tragedy again.
Mahogany Theme… Do You Know?
Have you had one of those days when you ask yourself, “Do you know where you’re going to; do you like the things that life is showing you?” Well, you know (or should) the words to the Diana Ross, Mahogany theme. Truth is, the question has been repeatedly popping in to my head and the truth is, I don’t know. I’m grateful for my family, my incredible friends and my new-found companions, but I’m perplexed on the “where to” factor. I’m at one of those crossroads where something has got to change. To be clear folks, I’m happy, comfortable and content…but I’m restless. It’s time for a change. In the coming weeks I’ll be exploring (and hopefully sharing with you) changes I’d like to make to improve myself. Please feel free to chime in (you guys are my extended dysfunctional family) to give your opinions.
Big “Ben” Theory
A breath of fresh air, a light in the dark
I enjoyed your banter, from the very start
Today you celebrate that special day
When your poor mom screamed and kicked where she lay
You’re beautiful, funny and definitely smart
Just the man for that special part
An actor by day, a realist by night
May today and always be glorious and bright
Happy Birthday!
On Blast
September 11 affected all Americans. Many of us are different for that one horrific experience. What personal tragedy has transformed your life and inspired a positive change for you? How are you different for it?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Monday, September 11, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/11/06
Five Years Ago Today
While sitting at work five years ago, I came across a breaking story on the Associated Press wire that said a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center Towers. I immediately tuned in to CNN and was watching in disbelief as another plane hit the other tower. Shortly thereafter, a plane plowed into the Pentagon. My employer ushered us out of the building and a few colleagues and I made our way, stunned, out of the city on foot. That day is permanently engraved in my memory, as I’m sure it is for those who shared that day with me. On that day 2,819 people died as a result of the attacks. Of those who died only 289 bodies were found intact. Today, like the majority of the dead, our collective memories are fragmented and forever changed. We will never be the people we were on September 10, 2001. Time flies and we are now five years away from that fateful event, but we should never forget those who died or how the strongest nation in the world was shaken into unity.
*As an aside, Mariah Carey released Glitter on September 11, 2001.
On Blast
What is your most vivid memory of 9/11?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Friday, September 08, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/8/06
Can You Hear My Colon Now
Four members of the Salvatrucha gang jailed in Zacatecoluca – a small city just outside of San Salvador – each inserted a cell phone into their anus, along with several cell phone chips and even a phone charger. The gang members were reportedly giving orders to gang members on the outside. The phone chips were periodically replaced to avoid being traced. Astoundingly, one of the gang members managed to insert a cell phone, several phone chips and a charger in his anus at one time.
Jealousy – 1, 2, 3
Whether we admit or not, we’ve all experienced jealousy in our lifetime. After exploring the issue, I came across three fundamentals that have been drilled into our unconscious. These beliefs help to support or exacerbate our jealousy. Jealousy is not a single emotion, but a group of emotions grouped into one category. Fear, insecurity, anger, inadequacy, etc. join to form the emotion we know as jealousy. Here are the three fundamental beliefs that heighten jealousy and what the real deal is. The solutions should help you overcome your jealousy.
1. If my partner loves me they will never cheat
This belief is centered on the notion that your partner’s fidelity is predicated upon how much love (if any) they have for you. If their love is strong enough they will not cheat.
Solution: In actuality my partner loves me enough and is comfortable enough in our love to experience love with others while maintaining and nurturing our relationship.
2. If my partner is happy and satisfied they will be faithful
This belief says you are inadequate and therefore your partner must seek outside satisfaction.
Solution: My partner is satisfied and our bond is so strong that new interactions or relationships do not threaten our intimacy
3. No one can love more than one person at a time
This belief says that love has limits and there is only so much of it in each of us.
Solution: Love is infinite. There is no limit to love or the number of people that we can love- even simultaneously. Good examples of this are families with multiple children. Why didn’t they stop after having the first child? How would they love the second, third and subsequent children as much? The truth is that by opening myself and my partner to new experiences for love I stand to benefit from giving and receiving more love.
I know, it sounds crazy, but these solutions come across this way because the fundamental three beliefs are so hammered into us that we believe them to be true. Free yourself and you will experience more love and less anxiety.
On Blast
Which of the three fundamental beliefs do you identify with the most? Do you believe the solutions to these beliefs would help manage your jealousy or do you believe them to be unrealistic?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Four members of the Salvatrucha gang jailed in Zacatecoluca – a small city just outside of San Salvador – each inserted a cell phone into their anus, along with several cell phone chips and even a phone charger. The gang members were reportedly giving orders to gang members on the outside. The phone chips were periodically replaced to avoid being traced. Astoundingly, one of the gang members managed to insert a cell phone, several phone chips and a charger in his anus at one time.
Jealousy – 1, 2, 3
Whether we admit or not, we’ve all experienced jealousy in our lifetime. After exploring the issue, I came across three fundamentals that have been drilled into our unconscious. These beliefs help to support or exacerbate our jealousy. Jealousy is not a single emotion, but a group of emotions grouped into one category. Fear, insecurity, anger, inadequacy, etc. join to form the emotion we know as jealousy. Here are the three fundamental beliefs that heighten jealousy and what the real deal is. The solutions should help you overcome your jealousy.
1. If my partner loves me they will never cheat
This belief is centered on the notion that your partner’s fidelity is predicated upon how much love (if any) they have for you. If their love is strong enough they will not cheat.
Solution: In actuality my partner loves me enough and is comfortable enough in our love to experience love with others while maintaining and nurturing our relationship.
2. If my partner is happy and satisfied they will be faithful
This belief says you are inadequate and therefore your partner must seek outside satisfaction.
Solution: My partner is satisfied and our bond is so strong that new interactions or relationships do not threaten our intimacy
3. No one can love more than one person at a time
This belief says that love has limits and there is only so much of it in each of us.
Solution: Love is infinite. There is no limit to love or the number of people that we can love- even simultaneously. Good examples of this are families with multiple children. Why didn’t they stop after having the first child? How would they love the second, third and subsequent children as much? The truth is that by opening myself and my partner to new experiences for love I stand to benefit from giving and receiving more love.
I know, it sounds crazy, but these solutions come across this way because the fundamental three beliefs are so hammered into us that we believe them to be true. Free yourself and you will experience more love and less anxiety.
On Blast
Which of the three fundamental beliefs do you identify with the most? Do you believe the solutions to these beliefs would help manage your jealousy or do you believe them to be unrealistic?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/7/06
Noah, What’s the T?
It’s no secret that Noah’s Arc is my favorite show on the tube today. No, it’s not the riveting acting or the thoughtfully laid-out plot lines – truth is the acting is still mediocre and the plots show the need for creative writers to join creator and writer Patrik Ian-Polk to generate some meatier scripts. Noah’s Arc simply has characters that allow me to see myself – albeit physically – on television. The story, about 4 gay black friends in Los Angeles, is in its second season. After a season finale that left, main character, Noah man-less, hooker-freak Ricky in love and Alex bewildered and lonely, the boyz have returned with more flavor, added supporting characters and a change in the main character’s personality traits. The most disturbing of these character changes is Alex. Formerly the momma bear and pull-no-punches character, Polk has managed to relegate Alex to a punked-out fool who questions exposing his partner Trey’s (now) homeboy, Guy as a man-stealing closet queen. This has been undoubtedly the most disappointing story line of the season. It is undermining NA’s ability to be believable, while still delivering acceptable cheesy dramedy. I’m still holding tight and hoping the series takes a more thought-out turn. Don’t miss LOGO’s reruns of the previous week’s episode each Wednesday at 9:30 p.m. and the current episode immediately following it at 10 p.m.
Mimi in DC
Tonight at 8 p.m., Mariah Carey takes on the beltway when she performs at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC. Tickets range from $19.50 for nosebleed seats to $125. for crack-my-eardrums closeness. For more info contact 202-397-7328.
On Blast
If you’ve been watching Noah’s Arc you know that the characters have decidedly different personalities; some over-the-top and some mainstream. What character do you most identify with? Which character do you wish you were more like?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
It’s no secret that Noah’s Arc is my favorite show on the tube today. No, it’s not the riveting acting or the thoughtfully laid-out plot lines – truth is the acting is still mediocre and the plots show the need for creative writers to join creator and writer Patrik Ian-Polk to generate some meatier scripts. Noah’s Arc simply has characters that allow me to see myself – albeit physically – on television. The story, about 4 gay black friends in Los Angeles, is in its second season. After a season finale that left, main character, Noah man-less, hooker-freak Ricky in love and Alex bewildered and lonely, the boyz have returned with more flavor, added supporting characters and a change in the main character’s personality traits. The most disturbing of these character changes is Alex. Formerly the momma bear and pull-no-punches character, Polk has managed to relegate Alex to a punked-out fool who questions exposing his partner Trey’s (now) homeboy, Guy as a man-stealing closet queen. This has been undoubtedly the most disappointing story line of the season. It is undermining NA’s ability to be believable, while still delivering acceptable cheesy dramedy. I’m still holding tight and hoping the series takes a more thought-out turn. Don’t miss LOGO’s reruns of the previous week’s episode each Wednesday at 9:30 p.m. and the current episode immediately following it at 10 p.m.
Mimi in DC
Tonight at 8 p.m., Mariah Carey takes on the beltway when she performs at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC. Tickets range from $19.50 for nosebleed seats to $125. for crack-my-eardrums closeness. For more info contact 202-397-7328.
On Blast
If you’ve been watching Noah’s Arc you know that the characters have decidedly different personalities; some over-the-top and some mainstream. What character do you most identify with? Which character do you wish you were more like?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/6/06
Back To the Future; Nice to Meet Me
There are moments in our lives when we look back and realize there are things we would’ve said or done differently. Most times we chalk-up those moments as regrettable mistakes never to be relived and other times we’re afforded the opportunity to see that point in your life from a stage much further along. Ten years ago I had a visit from my first partner while I was living in Maryland. Strangely, on that day, my partner, my man and several friends were visiting my home as well – don’t ask, it was a crazy time in my life. My first partner always had a way of getting under my skin and on this day, under a fit of rage, I dramatically tossed him out of my house with the admonition that I would be lucky never to see him again. He wasn’t feeling well and as he reached the bottom of my front steps he turned and asked if he could at least have a glass of water. Without a moment hesitation, I immediately said, “No, buy water at the nearest store. Just get the heck off my property!” Three years later, when my head cooled and I had a moment of levity, I realized I had overreacted. With the added years of maturity, I jumped on my PC and drafted an apology letter that basically said, I was sorry for being so irrational and that I wished him the best. Last Sunday I ran into my first partner. When I turned to face him, he looked exactly as he did 20 years ago. The added weight complimented his frame and his wide smile immediately melted away years of resentment and immaturity. Rather than saying one word, he hugged me tight and lifted me off the ground. We hugged for what seemed like five minutes before we stepped back from each other to speak. Turns out he read and kept the letter I wrote many years ago and even mentioned keeping every letter I had written him since I was 16. We laughed at issues that in the past had been sparks to ignite our disagreements. Finally, we both agreed how the years had been kind and how lucky we both were to still be here – alive, well and all grown up. As he described who I was in years past, I realized how much I had actually changed. It felt that I was hearing about someone I had never met. We shared pictures and stories of where our families and friends were today and promised to stay in touch. As I walked away from him I felt myself smiling at the reality that people do change and sometimes the remarkable thing is those “people” are me.
The Machinist
Reviewing a movie from 2004 seems absurd, but last night I happened upon The Machinist, starring an emaciated Christian Bale and the detached Jennifer Jason Leigh. As the movie opens Bale, an actor who appears to be over six feet tall and weighing a mere 119 lbs. looks at his battered, drawn and gaunt face in the mirror. It is the beginning of what is apparently self-inflicted physical torture that takes viewers through a dark trail of incidents for close to 2 ½ hours before we untangle the source of his angst. The movie explores the human mind and the extraordinary measures our subconscious can take to bury pain. With the consistent rainy days we’ve been experiencing, this flick is a definite thumbs-up drama that will have you question what secrets you have buried that affect your daily life.
On Blast
Perceptions…everyone can’t be wrong. What perception do your friends, family, colleagues, etc. have about you that you:
Don’t feel are true
Have some truth, but appear exaggerated when mentioned by these folks
Are dead on, but you don’t have any intention of changing them
Keep passin’ the open windows…
There are moments in our lives when we look back and realize there are things we would’ve said or done differently. Most times we chalk-up those moments as regrettable mistakes never to be relived and other times we’re afforded the opportunity to see that point in your life from a stage much further along. Ten years ago I had a visit from my first partner while I was living in Maryland. Strangely, on that day, my partner, my man and several friends were visiting my home as well – don’t ask, it was a crazy time in my life. My first partner always had a way of getting under my skin and on this day, under a fit of rage, I dramatically tossed him out of my house with the admonition that I would be lucky never to see him again. He wasn’t feeling well and as he reached the bottom of my front steps he turned and asked if he could at least have a glass of water. Without a moment hesitation, I immediately said, “No, buy water at the nearest store. Just get the heck off my property!” Three years later, when my head cooled and I had a moment of levity, I realized I had overreacted. With the added years of maturity, I jumped on my PC and drafted an apology letter that basically said, I was sorry for being so irrational and that I wished him the best. Last Sunday I ran into my first partner. When I turned to face him, he looked exactly as he did 20 years ago. The added weight complimented his frame and his wide smile immediately melted away years of resentment and immaturity. Rather than saying one word, he hugged me tight and lifted me off the ground. We hugged for what seemed like five minutes before we stepped back from each other to speak. Turns out he read and kept the letter I wrote many years ago and even mentioned keeping every letter I had written him since I was 16. We laughed at issues that in the past had been sparks to ignite our disagreements. Finally, we both agreed how the years had been kind and how lucky we both were to still be here – alive, well and all grown up. As he described who I was in years past, I realized how much I had actually changed. It felt that I was hearing about someone I had never met. We shared pictures and stories of where our families and friends were today and promised to stay in touch. As I walked away from him I felt myself smiling at the reality that people do change and sometimes the remarkable thing is those “people” are me.
The Machinist
Reviewing a movie from 2004 seems absurd, but last night I happened upon The Machinist, starring an emaciated Christian Bale and the detached Jennifer Jason Leigh. As the movie opens Bale, an actor who appears to be over six feet tall and weighing a mere 119 lbs. looks at his battered, drawn and gaunt face in the mirror. It is the beginning of what is apparently self-inflicted physical torture that takes viewers through a dark trail of incidents for close to 2 ½ hours before we untangle the source of his angst. The movie explores the human mind and the extraordinary measures our subconscious can take to bury pain. With the consistent rainy days we’ve been experiencing, this flick is a definite thumbs-up drama that will have you question what secrets you have buried that affect your daily life.
On Blast
Perceptions…everyone can’t be wrong. What perception do your friends, family, colleagues, etc. have about you that you:
Don’t feel are true
Have some truth, but appear exaggerated when mentioned by these folks
Are dead on, but you don’t have any intention of changing them
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Friday, September 01, 2006
Morning Edition - 9/1/06
2006 VMAs; Umm…Is This Thing On?
As the untraditional hip award show of the bunch, MTVs Video Music Awards tends to feature the hottest artists doing their thing – even irreverently putting-it-all-out-there for all of us to suffer those jaw-dropping moments that have us talking mad shyt the next day at the office. Last night’s show was slightly different. Hosted by Jack Black, the show came across as unrehearsed, haphazard and wild. Presenters insisted on doing their own thing and the audience seemed to be more concerned with getting 4-seconds of fame waving to the passing cameras, than applauding for the performing acts. Notable mentions include: Lil’ Kim – fresh from the tuna-can, the nip-and-tucked jailbird was brought on stage in an orange jumpsuit by two would-be corrections officers. She stripped off the garb to expose a thicker Kim and an insistence that we jump out of our seats and cheer her release. Sweetie…go ahead and put that lighter up – right under a blunt… now, sit down! Jessica Simpson chose a dress from the hooker-line attire rack. The dress was so short that the first 10 rows were treated to counting the polyps on her colon. Jes, you’re makin’ me respect Nick. Shakira… whew! Shakira, Shakira, Shakira. My Latina girl threw those hips around and I had hot flashes that had me rifling through my closet trying on every hip hugger I own trying to find an outfit for this weekend…. she was hot, but for the switch-sides moment….. drumroll please… the award goes to the perennial babe Beyonce. Her hot shorts, flowing hair and bangin’ bod made me crack a 40, turn to ESPN and scratch my nuts… I was transformed. Conversely, my usually stylish ma J-Lo went for the flying-nun-meets-Gidget look. I had to send an e-mail to Marc Anthony to let him know he’s destroying my girl. I love you Jen, but the wet Chihuahua is ruining your image. Finally, taking it from Stripped, dirty and raw to classic elegance and flawless vocals, Christina Aguilera delivered the 40s for ’06. It’s all about you CA-CA. Notes for next year… Get a real host; change the format of the show to appear organized and live; remove Kelly Clarkson from the ballots –she’s an amateur stealing awards from true artists and she doesn’t have the respect to even show up to pick them up.
Labor Day; Now You Know
On September 5, 1882, New York celebrated the first ever Labor Day. The holiday was intended to commemorate the prosperity of our nation because of the hard work of the American public. Although historians debate whether Peter McGuire or Matthew Maguire suggested the holiday, the importance of the holiday isn’t debated. As Americans we are the richest nation in the world, able to turn paupers into billionaires – for that we should all celebrate. Labor Day is also the only holiday that doesn’t honor a war, deceased hero or religious observance. This holiday celebrates the opportunity to dream and more importantly, to live that dream.
On Blast
Last night Beyonce had me easily switching sides for one night of bumping pretties with her…No judgments; keep it real. What artist would have you forgo your sexual orientation for an intimate moment with them?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
As the untraditional hip award show of the bunch, MTVs Video Music Awards tends to feature the hottest artists doing their thing – even irreverently putting-it-all-out-there for all of us to suffer those jaw-dropping moments that have us talking mad shyt the next day at the office. Last night’s show was slightly different. Hosted by Jack Black, the show came across as unrehearsed, haphazard and wild. Presenters insisted on doing their own thing and the audience seemed to be more concerned with getting 4-seconds of fame waving to the passing cameras, than applauding for the performing acts. Notable mentions include: Lil’ Kim – fresh from the tuna-can, the nip-and-tucked jailbird was brought on stage in an orange jumpsuit by two would-be corrections officers. She stripped off the garb to expose a thicker Kim and an insistence that we jump out of our seats and cheer her release. Sweetie…go ahead and put that lighter up – right under a blunt… now, sit down! Jessica Simpson chose a dress from the hooker-line attire rack. The dress was so short that the first 10 rows were treated to counting the polyps on her colon. Jes, you’re makin’ me respect Nick. Shakira… whew! Shakira, Shakira, Shakira. My Latina girl threw those hips around and I had hot flashes that had me rifling through my closet trying on every hip hugger I own trying to find an outfit for this weekend…. she was hot, but for the switch-sides moment….. drumroll please… the award goes to the perennial babe Beyonce. Her hot shorts, flowing hair and bangin’ bod made me crack a 40, turn to ESPN and scratch my nuts… I was transformed. Conversely, my usually stylish ma J-Lo went for the flying-nun-meets-Gidget look. I had to send an e-mail to Marc Anthony to let him know he’s destroying my girl. I love you Jen, but the wet Chihuahua is ruining your image. Finally, taking it from Stripped, dirty and raw to classic elegance and flawless vocals, Christina Aguilera delivered the 40s for ’06. It’s all about you CA-CA. Notes for next year… Get a real host; change the format of the show to appear organized and live; remove Kelly Clarkson from the ballots –she’s an amateur stealing awards from true artists and she doesn’t have the respect to even show up to pick them up.
Labor Day; Now You Know
On September 5, 1882, New York celebrated the first ever Labor Day. The holiday was intended to commemorate the prosperity of our nation because of the hard work of the American public. Although historians debate whether Peter McGuire or Matthew Maguire suggested the holiday, the importance of the holiday isn’t debated. As Americans we are the richest nation in the world, able to turn paupers into billionaires – for that we should all celebrate. Labor Day is also the only holiday that doesn’t honor a war, deceased hero or religious observance. This holiday celebrates the opportunity to dream and more importantly, to live that dream.
On Blast
Last night Beyonce had me easily switching sides for one night of bumping pretties with her…No judgments; keep it real. What artist would have you forgo your sexual orientation for an intimate moment with them?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
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