27 Years Later; JHS Revisited

Last night, 27 years after we met, three junior high school friends and I met in the city to juggle our memories and walk down memory lane. To imagine that we all met in a homeroom in the Bronx close to three decades ago and felt so relaxed catching up was truly a blessing and a testament to true friendship. Everyone had a story of their own road traveled and each story was as heartwarming as the next. Marilyn – is now married has two beautiful boys and though she works in NYC, lives in the far suburbs of New Jersey; Ivelisse – strong, career-minded and determined is ready to meet Mr. Right; David – married, has two wonderful girls and just completed his second BA, this one in Spanish. We promised to get together again very soon and bring along our families. We vowed to not let two decades fly by!

On Blast
Facebook facilitated our coming together; what friend(s) do you wish you could reconnect with, but can’t seem to find them?

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Blessings & Birthdays

Saturday night, after a long day that left my body begging for bed, BD and I joined a group of friends to celebrate my pumpkin’s birthday party at Hudson River Café. Although I felt worn physically, the crew and the show-stopping guest of honor brought my spirits to a place of gratitude. Thank you to everyone who made Ev Maldonado’s birthday celebration as memorable as she is.

Here are some pics of the event…

On Blast
How do you want to celebrate your birthday this year?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

I Amuse Me

Maybe it's crazy, but I amuse me. I'll see something and my mind races to make me smile, laugh or just have a comment race through my head. Living alone, I will pass a mirror and make faces or lip sync while dancing like a lunatic.

On Blast
Can you lighten-up enough to amuse yourself?

Keep passin' the open windows...

Common Denominator

It was said as a joke, but the thought process – on my end – shows how even in jest I’m prolific. That’s right folks; your boy can be genius even in his irreverence. An ex of mine asked why everyone he ever cares about turns out to be hyper-dramatic and an emotionally explosive asshole. I paused, took a deep breath and heard myself say, “Well, the better question is what or WHO is the common denominator?” The obvious implication being that HE is the link between all these hyper-dramatic, emotionally explosive people. So the moral of the story today is simple, if the SAME stuff happens to you OR you attract the SAME type of person all the time, maybe it’s time to consider the common denominator – YOU. Heed the advice and examine YOU. You’re the link between you and the repeating disasters.

On Blast
Be real with yourself – everyone can’t be wrong and even a broken clock is right twice a day. What repeating situation begs the question, IS IT YOU?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Happy Birthday Pumpkin!

It's my corporate wife's birthday today, but the celebration is next week!

THE LIVE, LAUGH AND LOVE BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION WITH EV!

When: Saturday, March 21, 9pm

Where: Hudson River Cafe, 697 W. 133rd Street (on 12th Avenue)

Evelyn Maldonado embodies all that is New York – exotic Latina beauty, magnetic personality and mounds of attitude – so it’s fitting that her birthday this year will be celebrated at the modern, sleek and chic Hudson River Café.

With over 25,000 square feet in their fine dining area and an additional bi-level outdoor area, the Hudson River Café has affordable menu selections and amazing drinks. The Hudson River Café is said to be the new “in” crowd meeting place on Saturday nights!

So join Evelyn for a drink and a dance to celebrate another year to live, laugh and love!

Hudson River Cafe

697 West 133 Street on 12th Avenue

New York, NY 10027

212-491-9111

www.hudsonrivercafe.com

Take #1 train to 125th Street or 137th Street for easy Subway access

So Maybe I’m a Bit Aggressive

I have what many would point to as my reasons for being aggressive...
*I’m a Latino man
*I’m a Leo
*I’m short and therefore may have a Napoleon complex

All said, I’m very outgoing, warm, affectionate and friendly, but anyone who really knows me recognizes that I’m like a Lion in captivity – never truly tame. A consummate professional I handle myself with the utmost tact while at the 9-to-5; and at home, I’m the warm caretaker of my man, our son and our two dogs. None of it takes away from that internal roar that I hear each time I feel crossed, slighted, disregarded, ignored or disrespected. When I was younger I felt my aggressive nature worked to my disadvantage; I would see the horror in folks’ faces as a discussion would turn from friendly banter to a potential Brown-Rihana incident, but today I’m able to mask my adrenaline rushes with very calm – even relaxed - disguises. Recently, several occasions have given me pause and made me wonder if my inner-lion is seconds from a mauling disaster.

1. My rush-hour commute to/from work: Anyone who has been to NYC knows that public transportation is the ONLY way to efficiently travel in the city. Unfortunately, crowded trains and buses force individuals who are primarily assertive/aggressive into tight spaces. This is a recipe for disaster and one that I fear will one day land me behind bars with a substantial list of charges. I visualize myself repeatedly pummeling individuals and sometimes turn myself to face a door or window to give myself a sense that I am alone. I’m working on this.
2. Respect in the Workplace: There are folks who generally lack all basic manners, so expecting them to have office decorum is wishful thinking. I find that I will counter the craziness with equally crazy direct-speak, but this is worth mentioning all the same. A) If your co-worker is focused on their PC and plugging away on their keyboard, they’re probably busy; walk away. This would be a good time to send an e-mail and ask your coworker to contact you when they have a moment. B) Just because you begin speaking doesn’t mean I begin listening. Do not assume someone has time to speak to you. When you approach your co-workers for a conversation, the polite thing to start with is, “Do you have a moment for a word?” …or some other opening line that allows your colleague to acknowledge you. C) Regardless of who you are, it is rude to assume that those around you will cease their conversation to accommodate you; even the President of these U.S. says, “Excuse me.”
3. Aikenitis: Clay Aiken has a song on his first CD entitled “Invisible.” In it, the last two lines of the chorus say, “If I was invisible (Wait..I already am)” I find the audacity of folks to walk through doors that you hold for them OR to neglect to even look at you when you’ve stood up to give them your seat is insane. I don’t give a penis-shake how busy or distracted you are, pay attention to your surroundings. No one is required to do you any favors or be courteous to you; Acknowledge kindness. I feel we are creating or encouraging rudeness when we don’t acknowledge kindness. I know I’m ready to release a door on a bitch or watch an old pregnant hookah stand because past individuals have neglected to acknowledge kindness.

I’m taking a deep breath. I’m recognizing I need more sleep and more relaxation techniques to help keep my spirits up and my aggression in check. Now, if by chance you hear of something crazy I may have done, you’ll have a clue as to what may have set me off.

On Blast
Revlon-Beat-Down….back in my day, it meant that we beat you so severely that you required make-up to look halfway normal. It also referred to the House of Revlon and their member's ability to tear-up some ass. What was the terminology you used to refer to a good ass-stomping in your day?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

My Guilty Pleasure

I can't help it. Ru Paul's Drag Race on LOGO has become my guilty pleasure.

On Blast
What program do you consider your guilty pleasure?

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Be Kind; Be Honest

On Blast
Be kind, but be honest...What are your thoughts on the above video?
The boys are creative and appear to be having a great time, but I wondered who had the idea for the outfits. In '09 it's about freedom of expression and celebrating life without regard to labels and restrictive boxes.

Keep passin' the open windows...

Benjamin Button and the Lesson Of Time

Yesterday BD and I laid-up and watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I had no real expectations for the movie – except for hearing that it is a good flick; I didn’t do much research on the film. The acting, make-up and camera-magic are amazing, but it’s the storyline that will mesmerize you. I found myself forced in-and-out of my own life’s reflections – this movie forces you to think of your own reality – even while the movie is still plowing forward. The core-lesson in Benjamin Button is time and the effect of it on your life. A fraction of a second and what happens in that fraction of a second can alter the entire course of your life. There’s also a recurring theme of appreciating every moment in your life because it’s all a gift – the trials, the good, the bad…yeah, even the ugly. Two hours and forty-six minutes after it started, Benjamin Button comes to a predictable, yet nostalgic end. You’ll feel choked up by the inevitable neatly knitted story and how it forces you to face your own timeline with a new-found respect. “For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same; there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again,” Benjamin says. The words echo off the walls of my soul.

On Blast
Have you ever felt it was somehow too late for something in your life?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Exhale, Pack and Read the Fine Print

Yesterday is not tomorrow, but it’s good to remember the lessons we’ve learned to repeat those things that worked and stifle those that didn’t; All to say that my building management company accepted my offer to move in August ’09. Now comes the part where we hammer-out the details of our move, living arrangements and plethora of compromises for our new crib. That’s right folks, you’ve got to accept that unless you live alone, there will be compromises. Here are a few rules that are non-negotiable items for me….

• Rent/Mortgage: Must be paid on time BEFORE any other bill is satisfied
• Mutual Respect: Personal artifacts – journals, cell phones, mail – must be respected at all times. No snooping. If questions arise you should ask your partner to clarify issues for you
• Cleanliness: We all have different levels of tidiness in our daily life; Regardless what your comfort level is, bathroom(s) and kitchen must always be kept neat and clean. No dirty dishes should be left overnight; toilet(s) should not be dirty; sinks should be clean; and tub should be clean enough to take a soaking-hot bath in
• Clutter: You are entitled to keep any/all things that are important to you, so long as those items are not cluttering or otherwise strewn throughout common areas. Your personal valuables – including keepsakes – should be stored properly
• Guests: Guests should be cleared with the family prior to their visit. Exes or interested parties are NEVER guests and it is NEVER okay for them to visit. Overnight guests should be cleared with the family with an acceptable/appropriate timeframe for their visit announced in advance of their stay
• Nights Outside the Home: Outside of professional/business engagements, neither partner should ever sleep outside the home
• Open communication: All issues are open for discussion and you are encouraged to discuss any/all issues to foster a positive living arrangement at all times

Now many of you may look at the above list and find it odd that I would mention these things in advance, but they are important. Anyone who tells you that these are things that don't need to be shared, is diluting themselves into an impending disaster. The more your partner knows about what is acceptable the better you both can work toward making each other happy and cohabitating successfully.

On Blast
What are some of your non-negotiable living arrangements when sharing space with a partner?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

It’s Official; August ‘09

Barring death and dismemberment – I say this because I may still bring the man’s ashes if he dies beforehand – BD, the Minnie and I will be moving to our new crib in August. As I crafted the letter to the management company informing them that I wouldn’t be renewing my lease in June and that I would need to have my current term extended two months to August, it hit me that it’s done. Not only is it out there, it’s in writing – for me, BD and hopefully NOT the courts to see. I say NOT the courts because although my letter is cleverly crafted, the truth is, my landlord has the option of saying he doesn’t wish to go month-to-month on my rent and can ask that I move at the end of June. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the rubber parts? The good thing is that I’ve ALWAYS been a model tenant, so at a time when many folks are struggling to pay their rent and stay in their apartments, my landlord need only consider that I’d like to pay him for two MORE months. There are only three BIG ticket items on our move-purchase list:
1. Washer/Dryer Set – pronounce ala Venus on Paris Is Burning
2. Formal Dining Room – we have a current kitchen pub set AND a family dining room, but want a formal dining room set
3. A Desk – we’ll have an office at the new house and want to be sure we use it. We’ve promised to keep work out of our bedroom and living room.
Our new place is a duplex with three bedrooms, an office, dining room and yard – with second-story deck. This affords us a guest room and a yard for the kid and dogs to play. I’m excited. The fears are gone; replaced by the realization that ’09 WILL be the beginning of my 40s AND the start of the rest of my life.

On Blast
What will you claim in ’09 that enhances who you are going forward?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Rundown

I have body aches, a slight temperature and throat/nasal discomfort. Yes, I’m feeling under the weather y’all. It started with a borderline migrane on Sunday that escalated to what today I believe is my body fighting the flu. Folks in my office have been hacking, snifflin’ and showin’ their ass for a few weeks now, so it’s only natural that although I’m current on flu vaccinations and the like, I’m still susceptible to coming in contact with these viruses. Also, since the arrival of Bruce, I haven’t gotten more than 5-6 hours of sleep on any given night – even weekends! – making my ability to regenerate impossible. While feeling like this makes me extremely irritable, I chose to come to work because I’d like to stay home when there’s nothing left to give and I really can’t sit up and pay attention. Contaminate others you say? Well, that’s the price we all pay for working in close environments.

On Blast
What has been the most effective over-the-counter cold/flu medicine you’ve used to date?

Keep passin’ the open windows…