La Isla Bonita and Temper-Temper
Well folks I’m back from seven days on my home turf of Puerto Rico. Unlike most of my other trips, this one had little to do with pleasure and more to do with taking care of my dad post surgery. I’m happy to report that the surgery was a success and he’s recovering well. In the same vein, I’m recovering well too – since I worked like a country mule. Sitting in my office today is my true vacation and my appreciation for not working in a capacity that requires me to perform manual labor daily. I love my parents and would truly do it again – a million times over – but I’m afraid for them. After working seven days straight – everything from cleaning, painting, gardening, cooking and caring for their dog and cat – I realized that I (not yet 40-years old) was exhausted. I couldn’t imagine retirees doing this. Having a home at their age is physically taxing and I suspect it’s a responsibility they won’t be able to maintain for long. I pray the Lord I’m wrong. All this said, I was the parent and as such I was attacked by mom and dad at every turn. The role reversal of saying we were not going out on a given day was odd at best and disconcerting at worst. As has become the norm, BD was my constant anchor in the storm. I can’t thank him enough for being my back bone. I suffered terrible separation anxiety since I haven’t been away from him for any real time for over a year. Let’s keep it real, this man is my 24-7 tireless ying to my yang. One thing is certain; my temper is not what it once was. Maybe it was the added stress of running a house, having two geriden (geriatric children) and stressing about the well being of my dad, but my fuse was virtually nonexistent. I was blunt, coarse and at times terrifying in my delivery. I finally took a deep breath a few days before returning to NYC and said, “Cocoa you’re scaring folks so stop it.” I may have to return at the beginning of the year to check on the folks again. BD made my return to NYC extra special. He surprised me with Chinese food, while I showered and we made love until every last knot of stress was worked away. His thoughtful card, intuitive kindness and calm make me the person I want to be. Thank you happy boi! I now miss mom and dad, but with my sister at the helm for the next week, I’m sure they’ll be okay. To all who prayed for my family a HUGE thank-you!
On Blast
My parents have officially reached the stage where I am anxious about their well being while they live alone. What would you do to minimize the pressure of elderly family members when they live so far away?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Puerto Rico & Gettin’ My Dick Sucked
Puerto Rico & Gettin’ My Dick Sucked
After adding $1,900 in car repairs to my credit burden, I proceeded to sigh in preparation for my departure to Puerto Rico tomorrow morning. What is normally a Thanksgiving family reunion of sorts, is now also a time to take care of dad who will have surgery in the coming days. A special thank-you to Clent for being there and taking care of Busta for me last minute and to Cas for taking the insomniac task of driving me to the airport at 3:30 a.m. for an early flight. As usual, BD is my knight in shining armor and he’s always there making me feel great even when I don’t want to feel anything at all. I’m so in love with my man and each passing day I find myself more and more attracted to him. This weekend while watching 24 (the first season) we decided to role-play and I was a captive being repeatedly sexually abused by my attacker. Of course, once all was said-and-done, I had just as much fun relaying to BD – who had managed to save me - what the attackers had done to me and how I couldn’t believe I survived all of it…I included all the juicy details of how my assailant looked and how I felt while he was abusing me. I get ‘brick’ just thinking about it. All said, the man just does it for me and I’m amazed at how I’m never bored or ho-hum about enjoying him. Now, this makes this morning’s story that much more ironic. Just before meeting BD at the train for our ride to work, I was walking Busta when I noticed a guy in his late teens-early-twenties cross the street with a puppy pitbull. He approaches me and let’s his pup play with Busta before saying “Hey, what kind of dog is that? He’s so cute.” For whatever reason, I heard my internal alarm ringing like mad. I couldn’t understand why, since it seemed innocent enough. Then suddenly he says, “What’s his name?” Once I responded he quickly jumped to, “What’s your name?” I looked at him annoyed and used my middle name (I never use this and it’s simple enough to remember) Snatching Busta who was pulling toward the guy’s puppy, I said, “I really am running late for work.” He then asked me, “So what are you Dominican?” I sounded insulted and retorted, “No, Puerto Rican.” This bold youngin’ continues without a care in the world, “So my girlfriend says that Puerto Ricans have big dicks and I was wondering if you would show me yours.” I looked incredulously at this guy and felt embarrassed, confused and amazed that he was so out-there to say this to me in broad daylight in the middle of the Bronx! “Well you should have one of your Puerto Rican friends show you one,” I icily responded. I pulled Busta so hard he yelped! Homeboi then says, “Yeah, cuz I like to suck dick and I would really like to suck yours.” Dude was out of his mind! With Busta in a mid-crap squat I was trapped in place when dude says, “So you rushing to work? What’s your number…212-“ I said, “Later…I have to run kid.” I took off so fast Busta was running to keep up. In all my years, I’ve never been propositioned by someone 20-years my junior in the middle of the Bronx at the crack of dawn. When I met with BD, I told him what happened and we laughed about it. What are kids coming to these days?
On Blast
There’s never a reason for violence, but the level of bold disrespect the youngster in my neighborhood showed this morning justifies gay-bashing for some. At 39, I have never propositioned someone on the street. Have you ever been bold enough to do or say something to someone you weren’t sure shared your interest?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
After adding $1,900 in car repairs to my credit burden, I proceeded to sigh in preparation for my departure to Puerto Rico tomorrow morning. What is normally a Thanksgiving family reunion of sorts, is now also a time to take care of dad who will have surgery in the coming days. A special thank-you to Clent for being there and taking care of Busta for me last minute and to Cas for taking the insomniac task of driving me to the airport at 3:30 a.m. for an early flight. As usual, BD is my knight in shining armor and he’s always there making me feel great even when I don’t want to feel anything at all. I’m so in love with my man and each passing day I find myself more and more attracted to him. This weekend while watching 24 (the first season) we decided to role-play and I was a captive being repeatedly sexually abused by my attacker. Of course, once all was said-and-done, I had just as much fun relaying to BD – who had managed to save me - what the attackers had done to me and how I couldn’t believe I survived all of it…I included all the juicy details of how my assailant looked and how I felt while he was abusing me. I get ‘brick’ just thinking about it. All said, the man just does it for me and I’m amazed at how I’m never bored or ho-hum about enjoying him. Now, this makes this morning’s story that much more ironic. Just before meeting BD at the train for our ride to work, I was walking Busta when I noticed a guy in his late teens-early-twenties cross the street with a puppy pitbull. He approaches me and let’s his pup play with Busta before saying “Hey, what kind of dog is that? He’s so cute.” For whatever reason, I heard my internal alarm ringing like mad. I couldn’t understand why, since it seemed innocent enough. Then suddenly he says, “What’s his name?” Once I responded he quickly jumped to, “What’s your name?” I looked at him annoyed and used my middle name (I never use this and it’s simple enough to remember) Snatching Busta who was pulling toward the guy’s puppy, I said, “I really am running late for work.” He then asked me, “So what are you Dominican?” I sounded insulted and retorted, “No, Puerto Rican.” This bold youngin’ continues without a care in the world, “So my girlfriend says that Puerto Ricans have big dicks and I was wondering if you would show me yours.” I looked incredulously at this guy and felt embarrassed, confused and amazed that he was so out-there to say this to me in broad daylight in the middle of the Bronx! “Well you should have one of your Puerto Rican friends show you one,” I icily responded. I pulled Busta so hard he yelped! Homeboi then says, “Yeah, cuz I like to suck dick and I would really like to suck yours.” Dude was out of his mind! With Busta in a mid-crap squat I was trapped in place when dude says, “So you rushing to work? What’s your number…212-“ I said, “Later…I have to run kid.” I took off so fast Busta was running to keep up. In all my years, I’ve never been propositioned by someone 20-years my junior in the middle of the Bronx at the crack of dawn. When I met with BD, I told him what happened and we laughed about it. What are kids coming to these days?
On Blast
There’s never a reason for violence, but the level of bold disrespect the youngster in my neighborhood showed this morning justifies gay-bashing for some. At 39, I have never propositioned someone on the street. Have you ever been bold enough to do or say something to someone you weren’t sure shared your interest?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Stop and Get On Your Knees
Stop and Get On Your Knees
Life is full of ups and downs and although some folks may think that the world should always be seen through rose colored glasses, the reality is that those rose colored glasses can sometimes be smoky or worse cracked; such is life. Lately I’ve been feeling very emotional – crying while watching some sappy Oprah episode or having fits of rage; you’d almost think I was manic. I realize that several things are weighing heavily on my mind. First, my dad is about to have surgery to repair a recurring hernia. What should be a routine surgery is actually a bit more involved since he’s now older and it involves working around his intestines. The doctors predict that it will go well and I believe them, but it doesn’t take away the worry of having the man I sometimes view as invincible suddenly appearing vulnerable. Second, working for one of the financial industry giants, I am hypersensitive to the threat of layoffs. I spend a good part of my work day analyzing my boss’ reactions to me in the hopes of figuring out if he somehow knows some clue to what my future holds with the firm. Trying to juggle my immense workload and play clairvoyant to his moods sends me home completely exhausted at the end of each day. So all said, it’s time to ‘circle the wagons.’ I got home tonight and had yet another frustrating incident – not even worth mentioning here – and decided to stop and get on my knees and take it to the only one who can do something about anything. “Lord, you’ve always been there for me and you’re the one who knows my yesterday, today and tomorrow. I’m not going to ask you to do what I want; I’m asking you do what’s best for me. May your will be done in my life and may it serve to make me better; In Jesus name I pray. Amen. …and so it is, that come what may, it will be what is suppose to be and it will be good.
On Blast
Believing in God gives me the resolve to push forward and know that all things work best when left to him. Like the hymn says, “He may not be there when you want him, but he’s always there on time.”
Have you ever been at a place in your life when you’ve looked around and wondered what the Lord had in store for you?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Life is full of ups and downs and although some folks may think that the world should always be seen through rose colored glasses, the reality is that those rose colored glasses can sometimes be smoky or worse cracked; such is life. Lately I’ve been feeling very emotional – crying while watching some sappy Oprah episode or having fits of rage; you’d almost think I was manic. I realize that several things are weighing heavily on my mind. First, my dad is about to have surgery to repair a recurring hernia. What should be a routine surgery is actually a bit more involved since he’s now older and it involves working around his intestines. The doctors predict that it will go well and I believe them, but it doesn’t take away the worry of having the man I sometimes view as invincible suddenly appearing vulnerable. Second, working for one of the financial industry giants, I am hypersensitive to the threat of layoffs. I spend a good part of my work day analyzing my boss’ reactions to me in the hopes of figuring out if he somehow knows some clue to what my future holds with the firm. Trying to juggle my immense workload and play clairvoyant to his moods sends me home completely exhausted at the end of each day. So all said, it’s time to ‘circle the wagons.’ I got home tonight and had yet another frustrating incident – not even worth mentioning here – and decided to stop and get on my knees and take it to the only one who can do something about anything. “Lord, you’ve always been there for me and you’re the one who knows my yesterday, today and tomorrow. I’m not going to ask you to do what I want; I’m asking you do what’s best for me. May your will be done in my life and may it serve to make me better; In Jesus name I pray. Amen. …and so it is, that come what may, it will be what is suppose to be and it will be good.
On Blast
Believing in God gives me the resolve to push forward and know that all things work best when left to him. Like the hymn says, “He may not be there when you want him, but he’s always there on time.”
Have you ever been at a place in your life when you’ve looked around and wondered what the Lord had in store for you?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Monday, November 17, 2008
Minimizing Stress; It’s About You
Minimizing Stress; It’s About You
Call it a case of maturing or simply an attitude that ‘life is too short’ to spend it on self-created drama, but I’m learning to pull back and withdraw from negative behavior that doesn’t necessarily affect me OR negative attitudes that don’t need to suck me dry of all my positive energy; in either case, if you don’t serve to make my life better, then you won’t be served. Sounds really cut-and-dry, but some of life’s choices are really black-and-white. I read some of my favorite bloggers post about situations that ring of self-imposed drama – they create these suspenseful, negative or no-win situations and then live to tell how they were victorious – or not – in combating them. The real question is, why do it to begin with? BD and I recently had a conversation regarding infidelity (a hot topic for so many relationships) and one that I think should be discussed openly in any partnership. As I mentioned to him, I can’t foresee myself cheating at this stage in the game and would more than likely bring any thought of stepping-out to his attention. For me, it boils down to an issue of minimizing drama. If I feel the need to sleep with someone else – and for the record, BD and I are so passionately sexual with each other that I don’t have my sexual interest piqued by anyone outside of our relationship – it would just be simpler to bring it to his attention and either get a go-ahead or a ‘let’s be friends.’ Then there are some basic stressors that can be minimized or extinguished with the simple click of a button. There are folks that are trapped in a negative rut. They call you and ‘bitch and moan’ for what seems like hours with no real solution on the horizon. There’s never really a time that these folks have anything positive to say. You’ll find that you’re consistently interjecting with, “Everything will be okay….” or “no you’re not having a streak of bad luck…” the truth is THEY aren’t – YOU ARE! Now don’t get me wrong, you should be sympathetic and supportive of your friends, but when there is nothing positive and you are simply being used as a back-up battery to recharge your friend with every conversation, it’s time to cut it off. Hit that ‘Ignore’ button and realize that you are being drained of everything positive within you. We’re all entitled to a rough patch, but when that patch becomes a dirt road to nowhere, cut your losses and be still…you aren’t the bad guy for saving yourself. A couple of years ago I had a motto of not taking calls on weekends before noon and not answering my phone if I was in the middle of something important. Since my return to New York I revised my own rules to accommodate my friends and family only to find that I’m expected to answer their calls or suffer their hang-up-call-back repeated calls with insults about my reasons for not being available. This has all changed. This weekend I promised myself to answer the phone when I’m available and only when I’m truly available. This means that when I’m simply not in a position to give my full attention, I don’t answer any calls – save for my mom and my man – who will be told I need to call them right back. Technology and the advent of mobile phones has to be used for what it was intended – a convenience item for ME to use; not a ball-and-chain making me available to everyone 24-7. The ultimate message is simple, whether it’s friends, family or work that drain you, it will continue until YOU decide to control your own life and the exchanges in it. In the end, folks will come to understand that your time is precious and that whether you want to lie on your side for an hour or speak to them is strictly up to you. Like any commodity you are as desirable and popular as you are scarce and exclusive. Make yourself important to you and you will be important to and respected by everyone else.
On Blast
They say you should practice saying “No” while standing in front of a mirror until you are comfortable with saying it. You set the rules that improve your quality of life.
What area of your life has seen some stressful twists because of your inability to assert control?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Call it a case of maturing or simply an attitude that ‘life is too short’ to spend it on self-created drama, but I’m learning to pull back and withdraw from negative behavior that doesn’t necessarily affect me OR negative attitudes that don’t need to suck me dry of all my positive energy; in either case, if you don’t serve to make my life better, then you won’t be served. Sounds really cut-and-dry, but some of life’s choices are really black-and-white. I read some of my favorite bloggers post about situations that ring of self-imposed drama – they create these suspenseful, negative or no-win situations and then live to tell how they were victorious – or not – in combating them. The real question is, why do it to begin with? BD and I recently had a conversation regarding infidelity (a hot topic for so many relationships) and one that I think should be discussed openly in any partnership. As I mentioned to him, I can’t foresee myself cheating at this stage in the game and would more than likely bring any thought of stepping-out to his attention. For me, it boils down to an issue of minimizing drama. If I feel the need to sleep with someone else – and for the record, BD and I are so passionately sexual with each other that I don’t have my sexual interest piqued by anyone outside of our relationship – it would just be simpler to bring it to his attention and either get a go-ahead or a ‘let’s be friends.’ Then there are some basic stressors that can be minimized or extinguished with the simple click of a button. There are folks that are trapped in a negative rut. They call you and ‘bitch and moan’ for what seems like hours with no real solution on the horizon. There’s never really a time that these folks have anything positive to say. You’ll find that you’re consistently interjecting with, “Everything will be okay….” or “no you’re not having a streak of bad luck…” the truth is THEY aren’t – YOU ARE! Now don’t get me wrong, you should be sympathetic and supportive of your friends, but when there is nothing positive and you are simply being used as a back-up battery to recharge your friend with every conversation, it’s time to cut it off. Hit that ‘Ignore’ button and realize that you are being drained of everything positive within you. We’re all entitled to a rough patch, but when that patch becomes a dirt road to nowhere, cut your losses and be still…you aren’t the bad guy for saving yourself. A couple of years ago I had a motto of not taking calls on weekends before noon and not answering my phone if I was in the middle of something important. Since my return to New York I revised my own rules to accommodate my friends and family only to find that I’m expected to answer their calls or suffer their hang-up-call-back repeated calls with insults about my reasons for not being available. This has all changed. This weekend I promised myself to answer the phone when I’m available and only when I’m truly available. This means that when I’m simply not in a position to give my full attention, I don’t answer any calls – save for my mom and my man – who will be told I need to call them right back. Technology and the advent of mobile phones has to be used for what it was intended – a convenience item for ME to use; not a ball-and-chain making me available to everyone 24-7. The ultimate message is simple, whether it’s friends, family or work that drain you, it will continue until YOU decide to control your own life and the exchanges in it. In the end, folks will come to understand that your time is precious and that whether you want to lie on your side for an hour or speak to them is strictly up to you. Like any commodity you are as desirable and popular as you are scarce and exclusive. Make yourself important to you and you will be important to and respected by everyone else.
On Blast
They say you should practice saying “No” while standing in front of a mirror until you are comfortable with saying it. You set the rules that improve your quality of life.
What area of your life has seen some stressful twists because of your inability to assert control?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Sunday, November 16, 2008
In Closing; Sense Through Humor
In Closing
I think she said it best. Sometimes humor conveys the message in a way that makes most sense.
On Blast
Why haven't those attempting to protect 'marriage' outlawed divorce?
Keep passin' the open windows...
Friday, November 14, 2008
My Soul Wifey & 99 Red Balloons
My Soul Wifey & 99 Red Balloons
When she told me she was moving to Germany, I could only think of that 1984 tune by Nena – 99 Red Balloons. An eerie tune that didn’t have much meaning then – really, doesn’t hold much meaning to me now – but had a catchy tune. Marcia Rhodes a.k.a. My Soul Wifey was joining the love of her life in Germany; a move that would put her thousands of miles away and a time zone six hours ahead of mine. Marcia fast became one of my closest friends and confidants when we worked together in Washington, DC more than six years ago. The size zero beauty is more than 10 years my junior, but has such a wealth of wisdom, charisma and natural warmth that I couldn’t resist feeling instantly connected to her. Throughout the years she has been a Godsend; her advice level-headed yet stern; never agreeing just to agree; never blind to my feelings. Marcia appeared to always know what I was thinking – even when I was fuming and hollering or just silent from disappointment. In the end, I knew she had my back A couple of years ago we vacationed in Puerto Rico, staying at my parents house. We hit the beach and the clubs, making my birthday celebration that year one of the best ever. On our last night in Puerto Rico there was a power outage and Marcia and I slept together in the back room of my parent’s house. All the windows open we talked into the wee hours of the night, sweat beading on our foreheads. The Coqui – a frog indigenous to the island – sounded louder than crickets on our pillows. Marcia probably doesn’t recall, but she was also the one who with the most modest – yet thoughtful gesture – brought cupcakes to the office for my birthday on a day when she was off, making me tear-up at the thought of her making the time and effort to make my day special. To date, it is one of the most heartwarming birthdays I’ve had. Although I’m a bit sad to have my girl so far away, I’m extremely happy for her. She deserves all the happiness in the world. Greg – her fiancé- should thank his lucky stars that I’m gay as a fruit basket or he would have the competition of a lifetime. I miss you Marcia….
99 dreams I have had. In every one a red balloon. It's all over and I'm standing pretty. In this dust that was a city. If I could find a souvenir. Just to prove the world was here. And here is a red balloon; I think of you and let it go.
On Blast
Expensive gifts are eclipsed by thoughtful ones….your heart’s desires are satiated with quality, rather than quantity.
Name a gift you’ve received that holds/held little material value, but is priceless to you.
Keep passin’ the open windows…
When she told me she was moving to Germany, I could only think of that 1984 tune by Nena – 99 Red Balloons. An eerie tune that didn’t have much meaning then – really, doesn’t hold much meaning to me now – but had a catchy tune. Marcia Rhodes a.k.a. My Soul Wifey was joining the love of her life in Germany; a move that would put her thousands of miles away and a time zone six hours ahead of mine. Marcia fast became one of my closest friends and confidants when we worked together in Washington, DC more than six years ago. The size zero beauty is more than 10 years my junior, but has such a wealth of wisdom, charisma and natural warmth that I couldn’t resist feeling instantly connected to her. Throughout the years she has been a Godsend; her advice level-headed yet stern; never agreeing just to agree; never blind to my feelings. Marcia appeared to always know what I was thinking – even when I was fuming and hollering or just silent from disappointment. In the end, I knew she had my back A couple of years ago we vacationed in Puerto Rico, staying at my parents house. We hit the beach and the clubs, making my birthday celebration that year one of the best ever. On our last night in Puerto Rico there was a power outage and Marcia and I slept together in the back room of my parent’s house. All the windows open we talked into the wee hours of the night, sweat beading on our foreheads. The Coqui – a frog indigenous to the island – sounded louder than crickets on our pillows. Marcia probably doesn’t recall, but she was also the one who with the most modest – yet thoughtful gesture – brought cupcakes to the office for my birthday on a day when she was off, making me tear-up at the thought of her making the time and effort to make my day special. To date, it is one of the most heartwarming birthdays I’ve had. Although I’m a bit sad to have my girl so far away, I’m extremely happy for her. She deserves all the happiness in the world. Greg – her fiancé- should thank his lucky stars that I’m gay as a fruit basket or he would have the competition of a lifetime. I miss you Marcia….
99 dreams I have had. In every one a red balloon. It's all over and I'm standing pretty. In this dust that was a city. If I could find a souvenir. Just to prove the world was here. And here is a red balloon; I think of you and let it go.
On Blast
Expensive gifts are eclipsed by thoughtful ones….your heart’s desires are satiated with quality, rather than quantity.
Name a gift you’ve received that holds/held little material value, but is priceless to you.
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Equality; Black or Gay – Does it Matter?
Equality; Black or Gay – Does it Matter?
A recent discussion regarding marriage by same sex couples highlighted an important issue for me. Gays are somehow considered less beholden to civil rights based on the ignorant notion that we have a choice on whether to be gay or not. By saying that the plight of the Black person somehow eclipses that of the gay person simply because the Black person can’t change the color of their skin, is saying that gays can somehow change their sexual orientation. For the record, my misguided straight brethren, my being gay is as embedded in my DNA as your IQ falling in the single digit range is to yours. Which brings us to the next issue – who has suffered more? I guess my question is, “Who cares?” Suffering is suffering. The fact that the struggle for equality by the Black race is a much documented one doesn’t negate the devastating trials the gay community has suffered. Add to this the struggle of being a person of color AND gay. One of the key differences between the Black and gay struggle is that when you’re a person of color, you can call HOME the safe haven from the injustices of your day. For a gay person this isn’t necessarily true. Some gay youngsters (as Norris pointed out in a recent blog post) are banished from their homes simply for admitting to the very people that brought them to this world that they are gay. I haven’t come across a Black or Latino child that claimed to be put out of their home because their parents realized what their race was. All to say that regardless of what the injustice is the ONE FACTOR that should guide our judgment is justice and equality. It lacks common sense to deny folks their rights simply because we don’t agree or take part in their struggle. Human rights and civil rights are a privilege we should insure is shared by all Americans – Black, White, Latino, Gay, Straight, Handicapped – and ANYTHING short of EQUAL rights for all is wrong. We’ve tried the separate, but equal thing in the past and as many can attest, it does not work. There is no need for a separate set of rules when we’re all EQUAL. America is beautiful for its rich diversity – religious differences, racial differences, etc. – but we’re also one of the most judgmental countries in the world. We insist on forcing others to live their lives as WE see fit or in a manner that makes us comfortable. That is not what America is built on. Let’s stop the hatred and ignorance. Let’s stop meddling in other people’s household and take care of our own. Let’s insure that everyone has EQUAL rights to live their lives as they see fit and the RIGHT to make the same choices and mistakes as their fellow man/woman.
On Blast
Do you believe that astronauts landing on the moon should be required to wear briefs rather than boxer shorts? Since you’re not an astronaut, why should your opinion matter? Why do you care?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
A recent discussion regarding marriage by same sex couples highlighted an important issue for me. Gays are somehow considered less beholden to civil rights based on the ignorant notion that we have a choice on whether to be gay or not. By saying that the plight of the Black person somehow eclipses that of the gay person simply because the Black person can’t change the color of their skin, is saying that gays can somehow change their sexual orientation. For the record, my misguided straight brethren, my being gay is as embedded in my DNA as your IQ falling in the single digit range is to yours. Which brings us to the next issue – who has suffered more? I guess my question is, “Who cares?” Suffering is suffering. The fact that the struggle for equality by the Black race is a much documented one doesn’t negate the devastating trials the gay community has suffered. Add to this the struggle of being a person of color AND gay. One of the key differences between the Black and gay struggle is that when you’re a person of color, you can call HOME the safe haven from the injustices of your day. For a gay person this isn’t necessarily true. Some gay youngsters (as Norris pointed out in a recent blog post) are banished from their homes simply for admitting to the very people that brought them to this world that they are gay. I haven’t come across a Black or Latino child that claimed to be put out of their home because their parents realized what their race was. All to say that regardless of what the injustice is the ONE FACTOR that should guide our judgment is justice and equality. It lacks common sense to deny folks their rights simply because we don’t agree or take part in their struggle. Human rights and civil rights are a privilege we should insure is shared by all Americans – Black, White, Latino, Gay, Straight, Handicapped – and ANYTHING short of EQUAL rights for all is wrong. We’ve tried the separate, but equal thing in the past and as many can attest, it does not work. There is no need for a separate set of rules when we’re all EQUAL. America is beautiful for its rich diversity – religious differences, racial differences, etc. – but we’re also one of the most judgmental countries in the world. We insist on forcing others to live their lives as WE see fit or in a manner that makes us comfortable. That is not what America is built on. Let’s stop the hatred and ignorance. Let’s stop meddling in other people’s household and take care of our own. Let’s insure that everyone has EQUAL rights to live their lives as they see fit and the RIGHT to make the same choices and mistakes as their fellow man/woman.
On Blast
Do you believe that astronauts landing on the moon should be required to wear briefs rather than boxer shorts? Since you’re not an astronaut, why should your opinion matter? Why do you care?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Monday, November 10, 2008
Obama Believes in Separate but Equal?
Obama Believes in Separate but Equal?
The recent Obama win has everyone cheering for the enormous step our country has taken to recognizing the ignorance of discrimination based on race, but it has heightened the awareness that many Americans can’t seem to get around the discrimination based on sexual orientation. California’s Proposition 8 is legislation to specifically ban same sex partners from marrying. In essence, the California Supreme Court ruled that providing anything other than marriage for same sex couples would be a means of discrimination – a separate, but equal status, if you will – that does not jive with what America is about. Yet, California couldn’t accept that ruling. They invested over $74 million toward the issue and voted on the very day we elected our first African American President, to outlaw marriage by same sex partners. The ads for Proposition 8 depicted scare tactics showing teachers forced to teach same-sex education in elementary school and religious leaders charged by the state to forcibly marry gay couples. Neither scenario is real. The truth is that supporting equality for all Americans doesn’t erode family values; on the contrary, it enhances family values; the value that should be part of every American family to believe that ALL men/women in this country are equal in the eyes of the law. Sadly, even our President-elect who is enjoying the very concept of ‘all men created equal’ has repeatedly mentioned that he supports gays having equal protections under the law and an institution similar and equal to marriage, but not marriage. How does a black man who required ALL Americans to pump their brakes on discrimination and old school ignorance fix his mouth to say such a thing? I’m disappointed at best and disgusted with the hypocritical belief that discrimination based on race is now viewed as dated and ignorant, but prejudice surrounding same-sex relationships is fair game. Regardless of what your religious beliefs are, gay Americans are not asking you to join them in bed; they are asking that you allow them the SAME rights as every other American. Gay parents don’t want same sex education taught in public elementary schools as much as ANY parent wants sex taught to their children in elementary schools. The state cannot FORCE a religious institution to go against their beliefs to unite gay couples in their sanctuary – know what the facts are people. Here it is 2008 and we’re having some statewide battle on whether we should allow consenting adults to marry simply because they don’t look like the picture of the couple we have in our heads. It rings of the black/white marriage bans that plagued our nation in years passed. Marriage for same sex partners is NOT an issue that should be left to the states, it is an issue that should be approved at a federal level and incorporated into our present marriage laws. The issue does not open the flood gates on marrying animals and inanimate objects; those ignorant comments are so off-base I can’t begin to comment on them. If gays across the country will not be offered EQUAL rights to our straight brethren then we should be offered a cut in our tax liability to compensate for our lack of equal rights. At a time when we should be celebrating an Obama win, it’s disappointing to hear the very man flying on the wings of equality playing a different tune when it comes to marriage by same sex couples.
On Blast
Either you take a stand for something or you’ll fall for anything. In what way does the marriage of same-sex couples affect the values of heterosexual families? As a straight man/woman, why do you care if same-sex consenting adults marry?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Friday, November 07, 2008
Grateful
Grateful
Every one of us has been given so much. Blessings that far outnumber the crushing defeats. Are we grateful? Obama in the White House…be grateful. Gay marriage suffering at the hands of ignorance…be grateful. Our health, our families, our friends, our jobs…be grateful.
On Blast
What will you give back?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
President Obama...When You Believe
President Obama and the Inspiration for A Personal Campaign
Like most everyone in blogland, I too have moments when blogging just isn’t a priority and getting me together far outweighs getting my thoughts out to others. This is certainly one of those moments. Overall, I’m happy. I have my health, a good job and a great man; God is good. The race for the White House is over and history was made; I now see the infinite possibilities of what can be when you believe – really believe. I am so proud of President Barack Obama and the campaign he ran.
As the weeks progress I’m implementing 5 ongoing projects; my personal campaign if you will…
1. Faithfully returning to and maintaining my regular regimen at the gym
2. Making time to honor myself and my well being – decent rest, healthy food, killing the vices
3. Begin to write my novel – maybe even co-write a novel with BD
4. Get a grasp of my finances and work to create a healthy savings plan
5. Treat BD like each moment with him is my last; insure that he always has my full attention
On Blast
New Year’s resolutions are a crock….What five (5) things will you implement going forward – your personal campaign – to a better life for you?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Like most everyone in blogland, I too have moments when blogging just isn’t a priority and getting me together far outweighs getting my thoughts out to others. This is certainly one of those moments. Overall, I’m happy. I have my health, a good job and a great man; God is good. The race for the White House is over and history was made; I now see the infinite possibilities of what can be when you believe – really believe. I am so proud of President Barack Obama and the campaign he ran.
As the weeks progress I’m implementing 5 ongoing projects; my personal campaign if you will…
1. Faithfully returning to and maintaining my regular regimen at the gym
2. Making time to honor myself and my well being – decent rest, healthy food, killing the vices
3. Begin to write my novel – maybe even co-write a novel with BD
4. Get a grasp of my finances and work to create a healthy savings plan
5. Treat BD like each moment with him is my last; insure that he always has my full attention
On Blast
New Year’s resolutions are a crock….What five (5) things will you implement going forward – your personal campaign – to a better life for you?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Monday, October 27, 2008
REVIEW; Noah's Arc; Jumping The Broom
Remember Love
Noah’s Arc delivered. The short on reviews would be to say, “Thumbs up!” Sure, I can break it down and tell you that Noah’s Arc; Jumping the Broom could have included the theme song – at some point – or maybe even that it would have been nice to know what happened to Wade’s jilted ex-Dre’, but none of those things tarnished the experience of hangin’ with our favorite Logo-boys again. The movie – which played in only FIVE theaters across the country - grossed a very respectable, $161,000 (to put it in perspective, this averages to over $32,000 per location vs. $11,500 for the number one movie this weekend, HSM3) proving Noah’s Arc had the staying power to remain on LOGO and be successful if the powers-that-be weren’t so intimated by color on the network. I mean, let’s keep it real, I read one reviewer say that he was disturbed that the guys of Noah’s Arc have no White friends and that somehow this ruins his view of the show – and the movie. Ummm…. Maybe it’s me, but we sat for over seven seasons of Queer As Folk without so much as ONE black or Latino friend for any of the cast members of that hit Showtime series. Where was this entertainment critic then – and get this, the critic was BLACK! All those cock-and-bull issues aside, the movie doesn’t disappoint. If the title itself isn’t a spoiler then let me put the nail in the coffin and say, YES, the succulent Wade and the wispy Noah live happily ever after, but not before some really creative story writing takes place. The packed audience that sat through the showing we attended cheered, cried and laughed out loud. BD and I routinely shared a kiss or a tight hand-grip at several of the issues addressed by the movie. Although you shouldn’t expect any Academy Award winning performances, no Noah’s Arc fan will be disappointed by this much awaited flick. A must see for gay men of color and their admirers. The movie clearly showed that Showtime or HBO would have made a much more respectable home for the series and our men of the Arc.
On Blast
Put yourself in the casting chair….What character do you relate to the most on Noah’s Arc and why?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Noah’s Arc delivered. The short on reviews would be to say, “Thumbs up!” Sure, I can break it down and tell you that Noah’s Arc; Jumping the Broom could have included the theme song – at some point – or maybe even that it would have been nice to know what happened to Wade’s jilted ex-Dre’, but none of those things tarnished the experience of hangin’ with our favorite Logo-boys again. The movie – which played in only FIVE theaters across the country - grossed a very respectable, $161,000 (to put it in perspective, this averages to over $32,000 per location vs. $11,500 for the number one movie this weekend, HSM3) proving Noah’s Arc had the staying power to remain on LOGO and be successful if the powers-that-be weren’t so intimated by color on the network. I mean, let’s keep it real, I read one reviewer say that he was disturbed that the guys of Noah’s Arc have no White friends and that somehow this ruins his view of the show – and the movie. Ummm…. Maybe it’s me, but we sat for over seven seasons of Queer As Folk without so much as ONE black or Latino friend for any of the cast members of that hit Showtime series. Where was this entertainment critic then – and get this, the critic was BLACK! All those cock-and-bull issues aside, the movie doesn’t disappoint. If the title itself isn’t a spoiler then let me put the nail in the coffin and say, YES, the succulent Wade and the wispy Noah live happily ever after, but not before some really creative story writing takes place. The packed audience that sat through the showing we attended cheered, cried and laughed out loud. BD and I routinely shared a kiss or a tight hand-grip at several of the issues addressed by the movie. Although you shouldn’t expect any Academy Award winning performances, no Noah’s Arc fan will be disappointed by this much awaited flick. A must see for gay men of color and their admirers. The movie clearly showed that Showtime or HBO would have made a much more respectable home for the series and our men of the Arc.
On Blast
Put yourself in the casting chair….What character do you relate to the most on Noah’s Arc and why?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Join Us This Saturday; Noah's Arc The Movie
Join Us; Saturday, October 25th, 9:45 p.m.; Noah's Arc, Jumping The Broom
This Saturday, October 25th at 9:45 p.m. a group of us will make a movie date out of our favorite boys of cable-TV – Noah’s Arc. The guys return for their final hurrah in Noah’s Arc; Jumping the Broom. BD and I have invited a few friends – and any of their friends who are up to some campy fun – to join us at Chelsea Cinemas; 260 West 23rd Street. To purchase advance tickets online click here and be sure to choose the Saturday, October 25th, 9:45p.m. show.
Keep passin’ the open windows…
This Saturday, October 25th at 9:45 p.m. a group of us will make a movie date out of our favorite boys of cable-TV – Noah’s Arc. The guys return for their final hurrah in Noah’s Arc; Jumping the Broom. BD and I have invited a few friends – and any of their friends who are up to some campy fun – to join us at Chelsea Cinemas; 260 West 23rd Street. To purchase advance tickets online click here and be sure to choose the Saturday, October 25th, 9:45p.m. show.
Keep passin’ the open windows…
____________________________________
They're back to tie the knot--or not? Noah, Alex, Ricky, Chance and their significant others travel to Martha's Vineyard for a weekend wedding getaway. Drama ensues as, one-by-one, their relationships start to crack under the pressure of closer examination. Newly successful screenwriter Noah looks to his friends for advice as he prepares to move his relationship to a more serious level while struggling to keep his first studio movie alive. But the friends are of little help as they juggle their own issues. Elder statesmen Chance and Eddie attempt to scratch their seven-year itch, but they worry their marriages have permanently lost their spark. And playboy Ricky flaunts his barely legal college student fling in the face of his monogamous friends but hides a surprising secret that threatens to rock the house. Add to the mix Alex's crazy-making wedding prep, a closeted superstar rapper, a high-maintenance studio exec and a surprise visitor, and you've got the makings of a hilarious yet potentially disastrous weekend. Can the boys survive it--and each other?
Monday, October 20, 2008
Rosacea?!?!!
Rosacea?!
It’s almost unthinkable to suffer from bad skin late in life. Throughout my teens and twenties I enjoyed fairly clear skin. In the last 2-3 months I noticed I began suffering –from what appeared to be- acne. I tried everything and noticed my face, like my self esteem, was deteriorating. Frustrated and unable to cope with what it was doing to my appearance and my self-confidence I marched to a dermatologist today. After stripping nude and wearing the paper-exposed-booty number they force on folks – I really didn’t expect this at the dermatologist – the doctor (with a trusted resident in tow) went over my face and body with a fine tooth comb. The exam was so thorough that I wasn’t sure if he’d differentiate the redness of humiliation from what was causing this disfiguring condition. Finally, after the bright lights were turned off and the magnifying lenses were removed he announced his diagnosis – Rosacea. Since the condition primarily afflicts Caucasians and women, I was shocked. “You must be mistaken, “I protested. He discussed how he came to his conclusion with his resident, taking care to tell her why he ruled out all other causes for my condition. He asked if my parents suffered from any skin disorders, since Rosacea is also known to be hereditary. All said, I’m relieved to finally figure out what was causing my discomfort and affecting my appearance. I should be all clear in 4-6 weeks, but the good doc cautioned that Rosacea is not curable – only treatable – and I will probably use a gel once a day to keep my face clear. Who knew?
Joe Six Pack
As I was leaving the doctor’s office today I thought about all the cock-and-bull the McCain/Palin ticket has spewed about their ticket having the Washington-outsider interests at hand; basically their rhetoric says that putting McCain/Palin in the White House would guarantee Joe Six Pack was running the country. Here’s the thing though…I don’t think I want Joe Six Pack at the helm of our fair country. I mean, think about it. When I go to the doctor, I want him/her to be qualified to treat me – not be like me. So before you choose your next leader think about whether you want Joe Six Pack to get our country back on track or an experienced, qualified and diverse ticket that has the years at the helm, connections and vision to restore America’s glory. Sorry Joe…just grab me a beer.
On Blast
Do you believe you settled on your choice for President because of their qualifications or because you saw yourself in the ticket?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Friday, October 17, 2008
An Argument For Better Home Training
What would happen if Obama's daughter were caught in a similar photo op?On Blast
What do you think the headline would read if Obama's daughter were caught making the same gesture?
Keep passin' the open windows....
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Senseophobia
Senseophobia – the Unreasonable Fear of Making Sense
Maybe I’m just too close to some issues and fail to understand how ANYONE can come to different conclusions when faced with facts. It’s almost like putting someone’s hand over an open flame, allowing them to suffer third-degree burns and asking the onlookers if they understood why the person suffered the burns, only to hear several different reasons. The fact seems apparent – the burns were caused by holding the person’s hand over intense heat for a prolonged length of time. Would we be a bit shocked to hear different cause-and-effect explanations? Well, such is the case with the Lofton family of Florida. Steven Lofton and Roger Croteau have been partners for over 20 years. The registered-nurse pair met in college where they both prepared for their work in the pediatric AIDS ward of a Florida hospital. After witnessing first-hand the devastation of AIDS in the 80s and the rejection infants suffered during this time, Lofton and Croteau took on the daunting task of being foster parents to six foster children – five of whom still reside with the Loftons today. All the Lofton children were basically toss-aways of society. Lofton recalls how some of the AIDS babies would cry in their cribs and nurses would ignore their wails ignorantly afraid to interact with them. The Loftons have done an amazing job of raising a beautiful and diverse family of five – only one baby succumbed to AIDS-related illness when she was six-years old. For the record, experts predicted the AIDS-infected infants would all be dead before the age of 5. Through bouts of illness, state-wide indifference and societal judgments, the Lofton family always thrived. Now, with two of their children preparing to enter college, the Loftons faced another hurdle. The state of Florida explicitly prohibits adoption by gays. Simply put, the Loftons could keep the castaways in their care while serving as foster parents, but they could never hold the hope of adopting them. One of the Lofton children, Bert, 12, now tests negative for the HIV virus and guess how the state of Florida celebrates this little miracle? The state now suggests that Bert be removed from the Loftons since he is now deemed “adoptable” by a “normal” home. Bert has been with the Loftons since he was 9-weeks old! The self-righteous right-wingers say that ALL children fair better when raised by a two-parent, male-female arrangement, but few in this hypocritical group take on the task of providing foster care or better, come forward to be adoptive parents to the MILLIONS of children who wither-away in orphanages around the country. Various psychiatric and psychological groups have clearly stated that there is NO evidence to show that children fair better in male/female as opposed to male/male or female/female parent families. Moreover, studies have concluded that ONLY the stigma suffered by children of same-sex parents in the form of judgments spewed by outspoken opponents of the arrangement. Gays make loving parents, caring role models and supportive caregivers. Any child would opt for a stable home environment where they are loved and nurtured than the ward of an orphanage facility. As to the argument that gays/lesbians will unfairly sway these children to be gay and/or lesbian, the notion is not only unfounded, it is ridiculous. If this were the case we could say that those of US that were raised by heterosexual, male/female parents would be straight – and by golly, I’m not. It’s a case of sensophobia – folks having the overwhelming fear of situations making sense – even when we disagree with them.
On Blast
What benefit would be served by removing a teenager from a healthy gay family unit to place him/her into a heterosexual family unit when the teen recognizes the gay family unit as his own since infancy?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Maybe I’m just too close to some issues and fail to understand how ANYONE can come to different conclusions when faced with facts. It’s almost like putting someone’s hand over an open flame, allowing them to suffer third-degree burns and asking the onlookers if they understood why the person suffered the burns, only to hear several different reasons. The fact seems apparent – the burns were caused by holding the person’s hand over intense heat for a prolonged length of time. Would we be a bit shocked to hear different cause-and-effect explanations? Well, such is the case with the Lofton family of Florida. Steven Lofton and Roger Croteau have been partners for over 20 years. The registered-nurse pair met in college where they both prepared for their work in the pediatric AIDS ward of a Florida hospital. After witnessing first-hand the devastation of AIDS in the 80s and the rejection infants suffered during this time, Lofton and Croteau took on the daunting task of being foster parents to six foster children – five of whom still reside with the Loftons today. All the Lofton children were basically toss-aways of society. Lofton recalls how some of the AIDS babies would cry in their cribs and nurses would ignore their wails ignorantly afraid to interact with them. The Loftons have done an amazing job of raising a beautiful and diverse family of five – only one baby succumbed to AIDS-related illness when she was six-years old. For the record, experts predicted the AIDS-infected infants would all be dead before the age of 5. Through bouts of illness, state-wide indifference and societal judgments, the Lofton family always thrived. Now, with two of their children preparing to enter college, the Loftons faced another hurdle. The state of Florida explicitly prohibits adoption by gays. Simply put, the Loftons could keep the castaways in their care while serving as foster parents, but they could never hold the hope of adopting them. One of the Lofton children, Bert, 12, now tests negative for the HIV virus and guess how the state of Florida celebrates this little miracle? The state now suggests that Bert be removed from the Loftons since he is now deemed “adoptable” by a “normal” home. Bert has been with the Loftons since he was 9-weeks old! The self-righteous right-wingers say that ALL children fair better when raised by a two-parent, male-female arrangement, but few in this hypocritical group take on the task of providing foster care or better, come forward to be adoptive parents to the MILLIONS of children who wither-away in orphanages around the country. Various psychiatric and psychological groups have clearly stated that there is NO evidence to show that children fair better in male/female as opposed to male/male or female/female parent families. Moreover, studies have concluded that ONLY the stigma suffered by children of same-sex parents in the form of judgments spewed by outspoken opponents of the arrangement. Gays make loving parents, caring role models and supportive caregivers. Any child would opt for a stable home environment where they are loved and nurtured than the ward of an orphanage facility. As to the argument that gays/lesbians will unfairly sway these children to be gay and/or lesbian, the notion is not only unfounded, it is ridiculous. If this were the case we could say that those of US that were raised by heterosexual, male/female parents would be straight – and by golly, I’m not. It’s a case of sensophobia – folks having the overwhelming fear of situations making sense – even when we disagree with them.
On Blast
What benefit would be served by removing a teenager from a healthy gay family unit to place him/her into a heterosexual family unit when the teen recognizes the gay family unit as his own since infancy?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Weak
BD,
Because every time I hear your voice
See your face
Or feel your touch
I’m weak
Thanks for being my strength
Cocoa
Monday, October 06, 2008
Back At One
Back At One
Relationships take work. Many times in life I’ve wondered if I have what it takes to make a relationship flourish and have it be everything that I want it to be. Sure there’s the romance, but there’s also the feeling of security that comes from a partner that understands your needs, recognizes your insecurities and accepts your many flaws. Warren Buffet – a billionaire revered for his wealth and wisdom – recently remarked that ‘the measure of success in life is the number of people you want to love you who do love you. And the way to be loved is to be lovable.’ We don’t always have the luxury of having those we love to truly love us in return. I’ve often commented to BD that we both suffered some pretty awful slights in life so that we would really appreciate each other today. Somehow I believe that if I met BD just five years ago, I wouldn’t have been ready to recognize the treasure that his love really is. As I read some of my favorite bloggers talk about their foray into dating and relationships I can’t help but think that their journeys have a purpose. Assuming they’re taking steps to be ‘lovable’ – not in some whimsical way – but truly lovable in the marketable way, then their struggle to love and be loved will be rewarded. Rather than setting materialistic standards and hurdles for our partners maybe we should be setting standards for who we want to be to someone. Are we ready to commit to a partner through the many episodes that our lives will have? Losing jobs, gaining weight, illness, even the natural aging process all present serious obstacles that can only be met and surpassed with the belief that you can always start ‘back at one.’ You know…that place where you first felt those butterflies in your stomach for your partner…when you left silly voicemail messages that contained a love song to punctuate your emotions…none of those emotions die of natural causes; we murder them with familiarity. As BD and I shared a romantic weekend together doing much of nothing, I looked into his face and saw the man I saw the very first time. The eyes that immediately caught my attention again held my gaze. His soft skin under my fingertips melted my heart like whipped cream over a hot cup of cocoa. I want to love him for life and that means that I need to consciously make an effort to start back at one.
On Blast
Forget your ‘baller’ salary and your tricked-out ride…think of yourself outside your designer threads and your $25 undies….fuck your power-pad and your color-coordinated appliances…what do YOU bring to the table to make you ‘lovable’?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Givin' Up
On Blast
Givin’ Up by Jennifer Holliday is one of those songs that tears at the sheer curtains of my soul. What melodramatic love ballad still evokes a good candle burning with a glass of wine for you every now and then?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Friday, October 03, 2008
So the Bitch is Tolerant?
So the Bitch is Tolerant?
After watching the Vice Presidential Debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin last night, I was in awe at how ignorant Palin really is and how out of touch with the issues she appears. I shuddered to think that, if elected, a woman who managed to fast-talk herself up the ladder of a state with a population a smidgen larger than ONE municipality on the small island of Puerto Rico, would be charged with running these United States. Her interview with Katie Couric – heavily spun on all media outlets – highlighted how truly out-of-touch Palin really is. Unable to quote any Supreme Court legislation that has passed – well, outside of Roe v. Wade.; unable to identify definitive examples of her ticket’s stand on foreign policy; and worst of all – unable to identify the very publications that she reads on a regular basis, that keep her informed of the issues. That aside, the woman has spunk; well, that and apparently an uncanny ability to stick to the script. I’d say she’d make a better candidate for lead actress on a revamped version of NBC’s West Wing, than the real-life White House. Last night as she asserted her tough stand on issues within her 670,000-some-odd constituents, I couldn’t help but wonder if anybody cared that she was the equivalent of having your office janitor coordinate the clean-up for the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Best of all, was when she was questioned about gay rights and the right to marry. Now, in fairness, Biden also mentioned that his ticket is AGAINST gay marriage, but this two-bit, former runner-up beauty queen with the knocked-up-‘fuck-abstinence’-hookah-of-a-teenage-daughter went on to say that her ticket is “tolerant” of gays. TOLERANT? Let me put this in perspective for you folks; if I told you there are two-or-three women in my office and we’re extremely “tolerant” of them, people would be in an uproar. Yes, I believe in tolerance, but this is 2008. I need a Presidential ticket that is sensitive to the issue of diversity and believes in EQUAL rights for ALL Americans; not a ticket that is “tolerant” to my ‘kind’. It’s one thing to not support gay marriage, but to listen to this back-woods, script-reading ditz say that she isn’t a Washington insider and speak of it with the zeal of someone who believes this to be a positive point on her resume had me think-and-rethink the desire to toss my Blackberry at my television screen. Look, it’s clear Obama doesn’t have the Washington experience of say, a Joe Biden, but he does have SOME Washington experience and yes, Obama may be a bit green on foreign policy issues, but he chose a candidate that compliments his ticket. When I look at the McCain-Palin ticket I see the old-and-blind leading the aggressive-and- ignorant. This is a new America. An America that is rich in diversity and hurting from mismanagement of our tax dollars; an America that is ready to reach across the aisle to make REAL changes to the American economy; an America that is ready to repair its reputation abroad; and finally, an America that has enough sense to see through the glamour, glitz and hoopla of a ticket that is running on yesterday’s values, yesterday’s views and yesterday’s idea of equality – I think they’re calling it “tolerance”?
On Blast
In your view, what is the core difference between being “accepting “of diversity and being “tolerant” of it?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
After watching the Vice Presidential Debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin last night, I was in awe at how ignorant Palin really is and how out of touch with the issues she appears. I shuddered to think that, if elected, a woman who managed to fast-talk herself up the ladder of a state with a population a smidgen larger than ONE municipality on the small island of Puerto Rico, would be charged with running these United States. Her interview with Katie Couric – heavily spun on all media outlets – highlighted how truly out-of-touch Palin really is. Unable to quote any Supreme Court legislation that has passed – well, outside of Roe v. Wade.; unable to identify definitive examples of her ticket’s stand on foreign policy; and worst of all – unable to identify the very publications that she reads on a regular basis, that keep her informed of the issues. That aside, the woman has spunk; well, that and apparently an uncanny ability to stick to the script. I’d say she’d make a better candidate for lead actress on a revamped version of NBC’s West Wing, than the real-life White House. Last night as she asserted her tough stand on issues within her 670,000-some-odd constituents, I couldn’t help but wonder if anybody cared that she was the equivalent of having your office janitor coordinate the clean-up for the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Best of all, was when she was questioned about gay rights and the right to marry. Now, in fairness, Biden also mentioned that his ticket is AGAINST gay marriage, but this two-bit, former runner-up beauty queen with the knocked-up-‘fuck-abstinence’-hookah-of-a-teenage-daughter went on to say that her ticket is “tolerant” of gays. TOLERANT? Let me put this in perspective for you folks; if I told you there are two-or-three women in my office and we’re extremely “tolerant” of them, people would be in an uproar. Yes, I believe in tolerance, but this is 2008. I need a Presidential ticket that is sensitive to the issue of diversity and believes in EQUAL rights for ALL Americans; not a ticket that is “tolerant” to my ‘kind’. It’s one thing to not support gay marriage, but to listen to this back-woods, script-reading ditz say that she isn’t a Washington insider and speak of it with the zeal of someone who believes this to be a positive point on her resume had me think-and-rethink the desire to toss my Blackberry at my television screen. Look, it’s clear Obama doesn’t have the Washington experience of say, a Joe Biden, but he does have SOME Washington experience and yes, Obama may be a bit green on foreign policy issues, but he chose a candidate that compliments his ticket. When I look at the McCain-Palin ticket I see the old-and-blind leading the aggressive-and- ignorant. This is a new America. An America that is rich in diversity and hurting from mismanagement of our tax dollars; an America that is ready to reach across the aisle to make REAL changes to the American economy; an America that is ready to repair its reputation abroad; and finally, an America that has enough sense to see through the glamour, glitz and hoopla of a ticket that is running on yesterday’s values, yesterday’s views and yesterday’s idea of equality – I think they’re calling it “tolerance”?
On Blast
In your view, what is the core difference between being “accepting “of diversity and being “tolerant” of it?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
The Death of Role Playing
The Death of Role Playing
There’s a sense in the majority of gay men I come across, that we somehow must assume the masculine or feminine role in our relationships. In the past I’ve found myself at odds with the role playing, since I’m assertive, somewhat athletic and yet love feeling safe with my partner – sometimes even relishing moments where I can cradle him in my arms or rest peacefully in his chest. As I’ve mentioned before I love being a man – the whole rough-and-tumble of it all – but can seriously enjoy being tenderly caressed and coddled. As I was enjoying BD this past weekend, I was amazed at how everything about him turns me on – front-to-back and top-to-bottom. Whether that boy sleeps on his stomach or his back I’m mesmerized. To watch the little dip in his top lip as he’s speaking or to sniff his armpits when he’s not watching…yeah, I know, it’s a bit repulsive. All to say, that I wonder if sometimes we gay men limit our choices of great-match partners because we have a vision of masculinity or sexual role play that disqualifies so many potential partners. Whether you’re extremely feminine or straight-acting (whatever that is) the fact remains that, as gay men, we’re all male; capable of taking on whatever sexual position we’re inclined to take at any given moment. It’s actually one of the things I love most about being a gay man; we don’t need toys, we don’t have to have rules and we have limitless possibilities to enjoy our partners – physically and spiritually.
On Blast
Honestly – are you irritated by men whom you consider attractive, but do not fit the masculine- or feminine-acting role you have preconceived for your future companion?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
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