Angela Corey and God

Angela Corey is the State Attorney in Florida’s Fourth Judicial Circuit Court and the person charged with handling the Trayvon Martin case. A Republican, Episcopalian woman born in Florida, Corey is no stranger to controversial court cases. Presently, she’s overseeing the case of 12-year old Cristian Fernandez who stands accused of killing his two-year old brother. Our diligent Ms. Corey managed to land a grand jury indictment of young Fernandez and is even pushing to have the 12-year old tried as an adult….sigh….I really do hope that her handling of Trayvon’s case shows a bit more prudent judgment than the Fernandez case. Today Corey announced she will not take Trayvon’s murder before a grand jury – in her defense, Florida law only requires that 1st degree murder cases be brought to a grand jury in Florida. Trayvon’s murder was scheduled to be reviewed by a grand jury tomorrow. Now the decision on whether to bring charges against George Zimmerman – the man who shot and killed the unarmed Martin – rests solely on Angela Corey. Angela Corey and God… the supreme power over guilt or innocence.

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The Details Are Background Noise; Trayvon Was Murdered

The case of Trayvon Martin has shaken many of us to our core and for some, the case is slightly more personal because it highlighted a dark secret America has long held….a secret that seemed taboo to speak about and politically incorrect to address – America fears young men of color.

Many would say that myths and legends have a start in truth. A volcano erupts and the villagers begin a rumor-turned-myth that an angry God lives in the mountain. There are a million different stories that can substantiate some stereotypes-turned-myths-turned irrational fears. Sadly, some have turned these irrational fears into a terrifying reality that will have some folks justifying killing a man of color simply for being present; somehow our mere presence sends-up a red flag for some; for some, men of color trigger a fight or flight response.

As a man of color I’m perplexed by the reaction some folks may have to me. I’ve seen [first-hand] as some women move their purse to the opposite side of where I’m standing; I’ve been privy to the young white man who gets off the elevator before it leaves the lobby so we’re not sharing the ride.

America can now have the conversation that starts with, “…there is good and bad in all men.” Rather than elaborate further, I’d urge everyone to take a look at who you’re pre-judging and to make a conscious effort to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Now I’m not saying that you should turn-off your God-given fight/flight response to danger (if you feel it, do something about it) but that something should more than likely be run and avoid danger, rather than run to meet it head-on.

Ultimately, Trayvon Martin was murdered in cold blood on a street in Florida. Whether he was a clean-cut kid or a homicidal maniac doesn’t matter. The truth is that George Zimmerman was instructed by the 9-1-1 operator to remain in his vehicle and to NOT pursue Trayvon. He chose to ignore that order. Did Trayvon strike George first? The answer is irrelevant. I would hope that my son would fight for his life if a stranger confronted him on the street baring a weapon

Was Trayvon a good kid? Is George a racist? Was Trayvon looking for trouble that night? Did George see something really suspicious? Who struck out first? ALL of these questions and their respective answers are moot; You see, sometimes the details of a story are just background noise. Trayvon is dead. Murdered at the hands of a man instructed to stay in his vehicle; shot to death by a weapon totting neighborhood watch vigilante.





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Me, My Partner, My Son & Trayvon Martin

After hundreds – maybe thousands – of investigative reports, studies and even personal experiences, America is finally coming to terms with our not-so-covert-racism issue and our irrational fear of men of color. Whether the fear is real or imagined is less relevant than why anyone would have a fear of a segment of the population based strictly on their gender and/or color of their skin.

Today, Trayvon Martin, 17, lies dead. His killer, George Zimmerman called 9-1-1 to report that he was witnessing a suspicious man walking through the neighborhood. The man he was referring to was Trayvon. In Trayvon’s possession at the time of death, were a bag of skittles and an iced tea – hardly weapons of mass destruction or a hold-up even. Before killing Trayvon, police asked Zimmerman to remain in his vehicle and not to pursue the young man, but he disregarded their orders, trailed the young man, confronted him and then shot him – in what Zimmerman alleges was self defense.

When I first heard the story of Trayvon I thought that more information would surface that would show why Zimmerman was forced to shoot and kill him. That information never came. Instead, I was treated to a horrific barrage of audio and eyewitness accounts of an innocent teenager who returning from a trip to the store was followed, cornered and murdered by a strange man – one he clearly feared based on his cries for help heard by eyewitnesses before the fatal shots were fired.

Sure, Trayvon isn’t related to us directly, but as a man of color, I am Trayvon. My son is Trayvon. My partner is Trayvon. Why would my wearing a hoodie be suspicious to anyone, if the same hoodie would not be seen as suspicious on a Caucasian man?


Trayvon’s senseless murder is getting the attention it deserves. I am disgusted with the police department and justice department handling the case in Florida. Most of all, I grieve with the parents of Trayvon who have to watch their son’s killer walk free; still in possession of the weapon that killed their child.

I don’t subscribe to vigilante justice, but I do believe in karma as life’s equalizer. You may think it a whimsical wish to think that George Zimmerman will have to pay – in his lifetime – for the cowardly murder of Trayvon, but I know it to be true. Whether he burns in hell is between George and his creator, but before he ever gets there, he will settle the score for Trayvon right here.

Sign the petitions asking for justice for Trayvon that are circulating around the web and contact your legislators. It’s fine to complain, mope and groan to your family and friends, but let your voice be heard by those who have the power to affect change. Do it for all the Trayvons – including myself – who walk the streets innocently, but because of the color of our skin, we are somehow a threat…suspicious…requiring lethal force to stop us from getting home with our bag of Skittles.

RIP Trayvon…your short life will not be in vain.

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You've Given Me a Lifetime of Valentine's Days

While many struggle to search for words that will convey how they feel for their spouse or partner today, I’m comforted knowing that I say those words to you every single day. Heck, for ‘GP’ I will often just look at you and ask, “Did I tell you I love you today?!” It isn’t a coincidence. It isn’t contrived. Although I’ve made light of it, the truth is that there is nothing as serious and sobering as you in my life. You’re my security blanket that I reach out in the middle of the night for and fall fast asleep the moment I feel the warmth of you beside me. It’s as simple as watching you as you prepare our dinner and as complicated as our concerted effort to buy our home less than a month ago.

Nothing is forever….not even us. Life is fleeting…time betrays even its best friend. It’s for this very reason that I tell you how much you mean to me every day. Everything we accomplish, every goal we meet, every barrier we break through is a testament to the strength of our love.

Valentine’s Day may be a ploy by the card and flower industries to generate income, but for me, it’s just another opportunity to proudly shout from the hilltops “I love you!”

…and the other stuff is separate. ;)

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Our New Home

The excitement, pride and gratitude that we felt when we closed on our house last night can only be described as raw elation! The event was a culmination of prayer and faith in motion - we actually turned the final decision over to the Lord for his final stamp of approval and he sincerely treated us as the princes of his palace.

Today, we're having a slew of contractors visit the house to bid on painting, refinishing and minor touches we're having done before moving in. We're so committed to taking on these fun new challenges.

A new chapter has started for us and we're smiling ear-to-ear with anticipation!


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Suburban Heart

They say, "Home is where your heart is," and this will mean that our hearts will be about an hour upstate of NYC. After much thought and an incredible find - it truly is a buyer's market - we elected to buy our very own suburban love nest.

BD, the Minnie and I continue to bask in God's undying and plentiful blessings. This is nothing short of HIS shining down on our lives again.

In the coming weeks we'll take you along on our journey from move to home makeover and hope that you share in our sunshine and feel the warmth reflected in our humble gratitude.

Home is truly where the heart is and from city town home to suburban colonial we are steadfast that wherever the Lord takes us is exactly where our happy home will be.

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I Was Here

I came across a story today of a woman diagnosed with stage four cancer. What drew my attention is that there appears to be a direct correlation between being told you’re dying and when folks believe they need to start

living – fully. It’s like they find their strength, their passion and their drive from the realization that they had a short time left. Another common denominator between folks that are told they will soon die is that they want to be sure to leave a legacy of some sort…some way to have folks realize they were here. So what it made me think about was why don’t we start living before we’re told we’re dying? I mean, aren’t we all dying at some point anyway? The reality is that some of us have longer than others and it seems a bit pointless to decide to really enjoy your life when they tell you that it has suddenly been shortened.

Live…love...participate in your life.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

It seems that it really does take time to learn what life is really about. When you do, you're as grateful for the lesson as you are for arriving at the realization. My life hasn't been easy, but I've been blessed by God's grace to be where I am today. Yesterday had its lessons and its heartaches and all of it led me to today. Its a beautiful day - literally and figuratively - and for all of it, I'm thankful.

Happy thanksgiving day!

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Your Way

I was telling a friend


that one of the greatest gifts of aging - well for me at least - is the sense I'm not affected by anyone's opinion. Now, I'll be honest and say that I was never big on living to please others, but I now have the benefit of feeling like I can hear opinions objectively without ever personalizing what's being said. The way I see it, you only live once so it would be tragic to have attempted to live as others would have you live only to realize we can't ever make everyone happy. So make #1 a priority - YOU - and at the very least you'll come away knowing that you did your very best to do right by the person you HAVE to live with every single second of the day.

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It's a Ghost Town in Bloggerville

I remember how important blogging was just a few years ago. Since

then many of my fellow bloggers are long gone from the scene, reading from the periphery or using more current social medium. All said, I’ve been tempted to throw in the towel with the best of them, but I hold a real nostalgia for the days when I used to pour out my heart for all to read and the short wait for words of wisdom veiled as comments.

So much has changed in my life from the start of the blog days. It all started with emails to twenty or so friends that included a question of the day before moving the ‘operation’ online to a blog. I believed I had the chops to write and knew that the cathartic exorcism of negativity was a great plus for the trouble of another post.

Today, I’m older, wiser and dare I say busier – not wanting to invest too much time sharing with anyone who may or may not still read blogs to begin with. I’ve purchased a journal on my Mac that keeps all my secrets, my dreams and my thoughts – albeit without the benefit of reader commentary.

More than eight years since my first blogpost, I’m still excited to share the good, the bad and the ugly with my blog family – now also my Facebook family. There will soon be many more great things to share with you guys.

For now, suffice to say, I’m here, I’m happy and I’m pleased that I can still share a piece of my reality with some of you….if you’re still out there.

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Happy Anniversary Baby!

Celebrate each day and you might just end up with forever.



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- Mobile post from my iPhone

The Skinny On [Same Sex] Marriage – U.S. and Abroad

In my humble opinion, marriage is an institution created to contractually bind two individuals providing specified rights, privileges and expectations by both parties. Although marriage may take on varying forms – agreed terms, mode of celebration and announcement (religious ceremony) or even gender specifications – marriage is really a legal arrangement not a religious arrangement.

Same sex marriage is a hot button issue for many who have relegated marriage to a small segment of the population that meet their qualifications to attain it. The truth is that even opposite-sex couples that cannot or will not bear children enter into marriage every day rendering the argument of marriage-as-a-means-for-reproduction moot.

All said, preventing two consenting human beings from entering into the contract of marriage is discriminatory and small-minded and flies in the face of a country founded by individuals seeking freedom of expression.

Although the Netherlands was the first country to grant same sex marriages in 2001, Belgium, Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Portugal, Iceland and Argentina all recognize same sex marriage at the country/national level. Mexico only performs same sex marriages in Mexico City, but recognizes those marriages at the country/national level. The U.S. – ironically – performs same sex marriages in New York, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont and the District of Columbia, but those marriages are not recognized at the federal level and 31 states have gone as far as setting constitutional restrictions that mention marriage is between one man and one woman. The reality is that the U.S. vehemently opposes inequality and injustice in other regions of the world – even engaging in wars to help provide it - yet we sow the seeds of injustice and inequality on our home turf.

Marriage - whether you get married in front of a justice of the peace or you have an elaborate religious show for the masses, marriage is about a contract – parameters – ratifying the arrangement that bind two individuals that may be in love.

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Stop With the Fireworks; Get A Clue

Maybe I wasn’t paying attention to my neighbors in the last decade, but this year seemed fast, loud and crazy with the fireworks. Truth be told, I find it quite amusing that the majority of the folks going crazy with the virtual bombs outside my window are clueless what Independence Day celebrates anyway. I’m not going to go into a history lesson, but suffice to say that I just don’t get the reasoning behind spending good money on dangerous fireworks to make a lot of noise about a holiday you’re not really clear about.

Happy Independence Day to all. Next year, skip out on the Cherry bombs and opt for a juicy steak and a some thank-you cards to the men and women who keep our country free.

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Death Is a Part Of Life; It Still Doesn’t Make the Loss Less Painful (Taylor Siluwé)

Taylor Siluwé, a long-time friend – for more than two decades to be exact – is dead. Just months after being diagnosed with cancer, the disease ravaged his body, leaving all those who knew him stunned at his hasty departure. As is the case with many friends, Taylor and I had years where we busied ourselves with our own lives, and we were often reconnected by an encouraging remark about a blog post, a Facebook comment or by sharing a brief word to catch up on where we were in life. I still remember our early years – the years when we didn’t have a care in the world and NYC (sometimes Jersey) was our Playground. Even then, his intense creativity, passion and flare for life served as a gravitational pull to all those around him – including me. The ten years I spent in Washington, DC still held brief contacts with Taylor – even a few laughs at the new “Taylor”. All said, I’ve grown into the man I am alongside Taylor. I’ve supported his work, admired his spirit and drive and watched in awe at his ability to be relevant from our late teens to today. I know that it’s noble to mention that he will be watching over me, but today I’m going to honor my friend and simply say that I will miss his presence in my life. I’m sure one day I’ll smile at the mention of his name, but today, I’m reverently saddened at the enormous space left vacant by his departure.

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Reality and Life...

As I look back over my life I remember conversations I had with my mom that highlighted my worth and how perception – unfortunately – is reality. Fight as we may, the concept of each person having their own perception of the world be their reality will never change. I really fought this issue early on in life. I often said, “Reality is reality…” but sadly, it isn’t so. This isn’t to say that we should live according to what others want for us, but we should recognize that we are not alone in the world and more often than not we will need the help, support and kindness of others. If you’re ever curious as to what happens to folks who thumb their nose at the world, they are the folks that we persistently see and hear at odds with everyone – their family, their friends and folks who should be in their corner. All to say that you should live your life recognizing:

• Your worth: If you don’t know what you’re worth you allow others to disrespect, undermine and devalue you. No one – absolutely no one – should occupy a higher position in your life than you. Once you honor yourself you do a better job at conveying what is acceptable to you and caring for those you love. Romantic, platonic and professional relationships must ALL accept that you are valuable and worthy.
• Honesty trumps bullsh*t: Trust and believe that if you’re 20, there is a 40 year old that has already traversed the road you’re on and so on… You are fooling no one when you attempt to lie, deceive and omit your way through life. Be real, be honest and stand in your truth. If your truth is that you are a flawed human being, then you can join the hordes of us that stand as flawed human beings. The truth always comes to light and most times we don’t believe you, we just see you as a bullsh*t artist (not a good one either).
• You are the author of your novel: Many of us have lives that appear ripped from the headlines – good and bad. That said, you are the author of your novel. You have the free will to do good with your life or be a complete waste of a human being. Whatever you decide, understand that you should ONLY compliment or blame yourself for the outcome of your life. Even when there are horrible and unpredictable events in our life, there are glimmers of hope where we have the opportunity to right our path and make a difference.

It may all seem rehashed…you’ve heard it all before… but what I’d like to leave you with is that if you remember that you are all important; that you should live openly – letting the true you shine; and you accept responsibility for where you are and where you’re going, then you will never regret any part of your decisions or ultimately, your life.

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Puerto Rico Memories

Death As A Motivator

Two years ago I lost one of my closest and dearest friends. Bobby Sims died leaving an enormous gaping hole in my heart. There are still days when something happens that triggers a memory of him and I will either smile, laugh or simply tear-up. So much of who I am is a product of our friendship. Bobby’s death motivated me to live fully…never to take a second for granted and that no matter how dark any one day can be, I am here to live it. On days when I feel overwhelmed I hear Bobby say, “Don’t even go there…you’re here to fight another day.” His telephone number is still in my mobile phone’s address book and there are moments when I’m tempted to dial it with the insane hope that he’ll pick up and say, “Yeah, I fooled all of you.” …but he won’t…it’s only a wish…a dream… Yet Bobby lives on in my hopes, in my dreams and in my ability to do what he would have done – to live like I appreciate how precious life really is.

I miss you kid!

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Unsure of Whether It’s Me or Them

One thing is certain, when I’m tired, worn and in need of ME time the little things will make a HUGE difference. Of late, I’ve noticed that it’s the little things that have served to light my already short wick. So here are a few of my recent pet peeves…chime in on whether you believe it’s me or them.

• If you work in the service industry – whether it is retail or food service – polite and appropriate customer service is a job requirement. Notice I didn’t say you should be warm and friendly; simply polite and appropriate. This means that when you are standing behind a counter serving customers and I am the only customer standing in front of you AND I speak to you, you are required to respond – not stare blankly into space. Is it me or them?
• If your job description includes insuring that the morning coffee is brewed and available for purchase, you should NOT be texting at the cash register (with not a care in the world) while ALL coffee dispensers sit empty. Is it me or them?
• If you wish to drive at 20-30mph under the posted speed limit, you should avoid the left lane. Moreover, you should not appear panicked and disheveled when folks show their irritability with your traffic-causing ignorance. Is it me or them?
• I’m a primarily text person – I prefer to only speak to my mom and sister on the telephone – why will people dial my number, leave no message and repeat the call several times a day? It is my personal mobile phone; you can say or text anything and trust that I am the sole recipient of your message(s). Is it me or them?
• If you are using a mobile telephone at the gym during your workout you are NOT working out hard enough. Stop complaining that you aren’t showing results. HARD AND FAST RULE: If you can carry a conversation, you’re not working out hard enough to make a difference. Stay your FAT ass home and snack on Breyers while chatting. Is it me or them?
• Weekends are my sacred 48 hours. They are my time for rest and recreation. Doing anything that requires work or driving on long jaunts is not appealing to me and likely to be met with a resounding, “No thanks.” Is it me or them?

Hey folks…the list can go on and on. The truth is that we may sometimes draw the negative to ourselves. Maybe my feeling tired and worn is contributing to my seeing these little things magnified lately. Until I’m sure, I’ll keep asking myself if it’s me or them.

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Ignorance = Death; Will Your Kid Be the Next Assailant or the Victim?

Anthony Collao is dead. He allegedly fell victim to a brutal beating at the hands of four other teens – Nolis Ogando, Christopher Lozada, Luis Tabales and Alex Velez – who crashed a party that Collao attended hosted by two gay men in Queens, NY. It is unclear whether Collao himself is gay – quite honestly, I don’t think that this fact is relevant to the story. A young man is dead because four other young men acted on their ignorance and like a savage pack of wolves in the wild, they targeted, beat and left an innocent individual to lose a fight for his life.

We can sit by in pity that an innocent young man had his life stripped away because others believed him to be gay. Would we be more outraged if he was killed for being Black or Latino? The reality is that these are OUR children. Whether our children are the victim or the assailants, we have allowed and in some cases perpetuated, the ignorance that incited these types of attacks.

Yesterday the popular Fox television series Glee featured a kiss between Kurt and Blaine – two of the popular series’ protagonists. I felt a sense of pride that we had come far along enough to feature two teen males sharing a kiss on national television and that it would be accepted as normal as seeing any of the other opposite sex characters kissing. Then I’m met with the story of Anthony Collao and my heart breaks.

Our children are at risk – of having their lives ended by ignorant beliefs that result in a wanton disregard for life and for diversity. They are in danger of never reaching adulthood or spending their adult lives in prison.

We MUST teach our children that life is precious AND that the beauty of life is in the richness of its individuality. Black, White, Latino, Gay, Straight, Challenged, etc., we are priceless beings that must be respected, cherished and valued for our differences.

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There’s More to Life Than Charlie Sheen and His Shenanigans

My sister Evelyn started mentoring a 10-year old girl through the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization and I was floored every time I heard of the touching stories she tells me about

her new little sister. There are so many young kids who can use our mentoring and positive guidance to becoming responsible, caring and socially conscious adults. For all the negative influences young folks encounter on a daily basis – through the mass media and even through first-hand contact in their neighborhoods – it is crucial that they have adults who MAKE the time to show them that there is an amazing life awaiting each of them….and we build that perception one child at a time…one dream at a time…one hour at a time. Many of us were transfixed for chunks of our day and evening by Charlie Sheen and his shenanigans, but few of us can tell you of investing a few moments to give back to our community and specifically to make a difference in the life of a child. This month I’ve agreed to participate in the Bowl For Kids’ Sake event for the Big Brother Big Sisters of Orange County. The event is fun-filled, but the cause is a serious one. Our children and our communities are made better for our input…for our dedication to MAKING them better. Understandably, we can’t participate in every event that presents itself, but we can chip in to the cause and help those that can make time. Let’s use Facebook, Twitter and email for more than just forwarding trash and negativity that doesn’t benefit anyone. Make a difference in your community. Today I’m bringing attention to the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Orange County in New York. Tomorrow you may have an event that makes a difference. As for Charlie Sheen…well, he’s banking millions of dollars; none of which are going toward our children and our communities.

Big Brothers Big Sisters of Orange County

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Bowling Times Lanes

12-5pm

To Donate Toward This Event, Click Here

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