I’m not quite certain if I’m making better choices regarding what battles are worth fighting OR I’m simply suffering from age fatigue, but I’ve finally reached that point where I’m not likely to fight everyone or every battle that comes my way. The lesson to walk away from some of those nasty fights has been learned. Here are a couple of recent examples and the outcome of each…
1. My parents – my mom specifically – is a horrible money manager. Regardless of how much money she has, mom can burn through it. Recently, we discovered that she may be making covert decisions regarding their home in Puerto Rico. Decisions that can affect our ability (as her children) to inherit the house in P.R. When I heard of this, I was about to hit the roof. Suddenly calm came over me and I realized that the house is theirs to buy, sell, mortgage, give away, etc. I don’t have an interest in debating an issue that doesn’t directly affect me or my interests. Battle averted.
2. BD and I were having a discussion during lunch today RE: Facebook and our shared pictures being seen by our friends who may not know we’re a couple. I could care less, since I live openly and don’t feel I have any explaining to do to anyone. BD, on the other hand, recently asked me to remove pics that showed us together (simply standing next to each other) because his Facebook friends may deduce that we’re a couple. I let it go then, but as the conversation played-out today, it hurt my feelings…mainly because I thought he was beyond this…not so much, I guess. All said, I let this battle go too. I chalked it up as an issue he needs to work through. Does it change the way I feel? Yes, somewhat. It undermines my ability to feel that I live an open and proud relationship that commands the respect of others. Does he see this? Probably not. At this stage in my life, even this has become a battle I’m not inclined to fight. It is BD who should be concerned about the effects those types of blows have on our foundation as a couple.
What does all of this mean? It means that situations will arise that appear to be important, but under closer inspection they aren’t worth your time and aggravation. I choose to invest my time in THE MOST important person in the world – ME. It isn’t conceit, selfishness or delusions of grandeur that should bring each of us to the healthy realization that if you choose to make yourself happy first and back away from battles to force others to hold you to a higher regard, you’ll prove that the task of making you the top priority is best handled by you.
It takes practice…a conscious effort to NOT fight. Sometimes it’s harder to turn and walk away from a fight then slugging it out for nothing other than a battle of wills. Upon close inspection, do you recognize one instance in your life where you’re fighting tooth-and-nail and you should be walking away from the fight?
Keep passin’ the open windows…