Friday, December 30, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/30/05

Happy New Year!!

It’s A Wrap
Incredibly, 2005 zipped by, but not before it made some major changes to our lives and environment. From the tsunami aftermath to Katrina, we saw plenty of natural disasters – some even on home turf and although it was sad to see the devastation, it was also refreshing to see that folks can still come together to help each other. We’ll also be leaving some folks we really cared about behind in 2005 – Debbie Lavonne Fulton, Frankie, Andres and Isabela, just to name a few. In addition some folks who were like family also passed-on, such as Luther Vandross, Richard Pryor and Ann Bancroft who left a permanent mark in our souls through their art. Of course 2005 had it’s incredibly beautiful moments – like the birth of Daylen, the BBC’s trip to DC in July and yes, even my foray into the “serious” dating scene. All in all, those of us lucky enough to be reading this today recognize that storms bring about life-altering changes – sometimes necessary changes; relationships teach us as much about ourselves as they do about someone else; and that no problem is as permanent as a solution. We’ve LIVED an incredible year. Let’s use the final hours of this year to review what we did well, what sucked and what we’re striving for in 2006. No, you probably won’t keep to all your new year’s resolutions, but you sure as heck can add those important references you’ve developed to that resume – including your life resume. Now, let’s take a deep breath, smile at the prospect of another chance and step into 2006! Happy New Year!!

Carry the 1
It’s that time of the year again…that’s right, that period when it seems many of my close family and friends were born! So, let’s do a quick run-down…if I miss anyone, please excuse me as I think I either have early Alzheimer Disease or dementia setting in…
Nesie aka Cola: TODAY!
Clent J. and Jason H. : Monday, January 3
Annette R. aka Freaking Rican: Friday, January 6
John B.: Sunday January 8
Mom: Sunday, January 15
Violet: Wednesday, January 18
Please feel free to do birthday shout-outs in our “Comments” area.

Reminder: Ski Trip; Friday March 3 through Sunday March 5
The ski trip weekend in Gettysburg, PA is still on and jumping! There’s still time to sign-up for a weekend that promises to be relaxing and invigorating. Boasting all you can eat breakfast and dinner meals; premium open bar on Friday, Saturday and Sunday; pools, arcades and three amazing parties – starting with the silk, satin or lace PJ party on Friday; the “Wear-what-you-dare party on Saturday; and the pool party and karaoke club party on Sunday. The mixture of drinks, fireplaces, and silk are sure to make for an incredible weekend. Please feel free to either hit me up directly or voice your interest in the “Comments” area.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/29/05

Shake It Off
Even with Mary J. Blige’s best CD sales week of her career (727,000 copies of Breakthrough in one week) she could not top the success of Mariah Carey in 2005. Carey has the number one selling CD of 2005 with the Emancipation of Mimi. The chart-topper sold more than 4.87 million units this year – even beating out runner-up 50 Cent, who sold 4.83 million units of his sophomore CD, Massacre. EMI, who bought-out Mariah Carey’s $80 million contract in 2002 for a hefty $30 million, must be licking their wounds at the announcement of her record-breaking year.

Speaking Your Mind – To Yourself?
A study showed that many dreams can be easily interpreted and have been linked to repressed areas of your personality. For example, a recent dream where I murdered a friend was interpreted as my “id” or animal instinct translating aggression that could not be expressed in daily life through my dreams. Now, had I dreamed of killing a stranger the dream meaning would have been interpreted slightly different to reflect my own need to kill-off a facet of my personality that I feel is embarrassing, self-destructive or shameful to me. The list of possible dreams and interpretations is, of course, endless. As it turns out some of our dreams are not as monstrous or horrific as we think, they’re simply a way of speaking your unconscious mind.

Under-under Age Drinking
Juan Reyes was baby sitting a two year old and a three year old child for his housemates who were off birthing baby number three, when police investigators, tipped by neighbors, woke Reyes from his alcohol-induced sleep. Reyes was tested and found to be drunk, but more surprisingly the 2-year old in his care was given a blood alcohol test and was also intoxicated. Reyes now faces child endangerment charges.

Noah’s Arc; Season One DVD
Noah’s Arc finished its first season of eight episodes and is being touted as one of the most successful shows on cable today. The first season will be available for purchase on DVD before February 2006. This is a must-have. Insiders are predicting Season 2 will begin sometime in the spring. Stay tuned.

On Blast
Name one person/thing that you will leave in 2005 that you wish you could take into 2006?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/28/05

Dean’s List
The Lord does not close a door without opening a window OR once a hooker, always a hooker; you decide. Last night I dashed out of the office around five and rode the train home listening to Chante Moore’s Love Supreme. Somehow between moments of open-mouthed stupor and deep meditation, I opened my eyes to see a pretty, grey-eyed stranger who was transfixed on my lips. I uncomfortably closed my mouth and chewed my gum more vigorously than necessary to convey the illusion that I was in fact, awake and was just concentrating on my musical selection. When the train reached my stop, I jumped from my seat and exited the train, the staring-stranger trailing behind me. I exited the station and began walking toward my car and turned to see the same gentleman, a smile now exposing his pearly whites as he finally blurted, “Hey cutie.” I was a bit surprised that a man would take such an enormous risk as to call another man a “cutie” and slightly offended that I was so “spookable” that he didn’t feel the slightest threat that I would dislocate his jaw. Resigning myself to accept a compliment and enjoy the attention of this attractive newcomer, I said, “Hello.” I could feel myself blushing. I slowed down and allowed him to catch-up. When he reached my side he asked, “So, you’re rushing home to your wife?” We both laughed as I responded, “Uh, no… she left me.” “Does this mean you’re rushing home to the Mrs.?” I asked, a giggle escaping with the question. We both stopped walking as he responded, “No, I’m a single couch potato.” He asked if I wanted to hang-out sometime. His question came as I reached my car, so rather than give a definitive answer, I pulled a business card from my wallet and said, “Please don’t be a psycho…this is my business card. Call me at the cell number and we’ll talk.” He smiled and began to ask, “Should I call when I ….” His voice trailed-off as I opened my car door and smiled while saying, “I like a man who’s pressed, so call soon.” I pushed my bag into the passenger seat, started my car and squealed out of my parking spot at top speed. I winked and smiled as I passed him. When he called last night I asked what his name was and he said, “Dean.” As we tentatively set a date for this week and were ready to hang up, I said, “So, am I on the Dean’s list?” He chose just the right thing to say…“Nah, that would mean the honor was yours and on the real, the honor is all mine.” I chuckled and said, “Sounds like you’re getting-off to a good start.”

“Me” Fix in 2006?
Yesterday’s On Blast exposed that the overwhelming majority of you intended to seek some form of self-fulfillment and satisfaction over any and everyone else for 2006. The consensus appears to be self-focus, self-care, self-promotion, and self-gratification – basically, many of you said you wanted to turn your now, self-less selves into selfish selves. Hmmm…. I don’t know how true this will be, but I don’t think this is the solution you seek OR the message you are really trying to convey. In 2005 you gave of yourself and might not realize how that giving positively affected many of the folks around you. Sometimes the lack of immediate recognition or gratification can leave us feeling unappreciated. The truth is, we don’t always know the impact our positive and selfless actions have on others. Don’t change a good heart into a cold crevice. Instead, seek to understand that all actions have a reaction. Yes, we’re back to the KARMA concept. What goes around comes around – especially the good. Focus on giving and sharing of yourself without expecting anything in return. Ultimately, life works in a full circle and your kindness will be rewarded and returned – not necessarily by the person to whom you were kind. So in 2006 go ahead and “do you” but be sure to continue to give “of you” as this is will bring you the greatest return in the end.

Oops, Where Are They?
Marriott Vacation Club International, the time-share club of Marriott International is baffled by the disappearance of credit card and social security information belonging to 206,000 of their customers and employees. The tapes containing the information have been missing from the company’s Orlando, Florida headquarters and the secret service has been notified. Letters began going out to customers last Saturday. Stephen P. Weisz, president of Marriot Vacation Club International said, “We regret this situation has occurred and realize this may cause concern for our associates and customers.” Both customers and associates of the firm are asked to monitor their credit history information closely in the coming months.

On Blast
Last night as I closely watched the entire first season of Noah’s Arc on Logo, Ricky (the character noted for being promiscuous) mentioned that monogamy was not intended for men and that men were not capable of strict monogamy. Do you believe that men are predisposed to cheat and sow their “wild” oats, while women are “nesters” or is this just a cock-and-bull story generated by men who want to justify their promiscuous ways?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/27/05

When Cocoa Got His Cuz Back
Nancy Robles, missing for over one full week, returned home Saturday night after a hospital stay. Robles’ daughter, Crystal, called and informed me that she had returned – unharmed – Saturday night. Needless to say, I was at Nancy’s doorstep Christmas morning to pick her up. I can fuss, fight and argue, but the truth is, I’m just glad she’s okay. We spent the weekend together and laughed, partied and enjoyed some much needed family time. Welcome home Nancy.

The Parent Trap
My parents arrived safely at JFK airport in NYC this weekend. The pair, equipped with two large and may I say, extremely heavy pieces of luggage, rambled out of the baggage claim area looking like two small children looking for their nanny. Mom is still burning the midnight oil and has not gone to bed earlier than 2 a.m. – even with my overt Ambien offerings. My dad, who now hears nothing, unless it resembles the engines of a 747 landing in my living room, now makes 4 a.m. his wake-up hour. Thank you for the Percocet prescription Dr. Feelgood. No folks, these narcotics are not being offered to my parents. I’ve instead opted to take two Percs along with one Ambien to ease my own pain and ignore the antics of the dynamic duo. Just before leaving for work I caught my mother thumbing through my porn collection that I hid in two trash bags and far in the back of an unused closet. Suffice to say, both my parents were admonished to stay away from this closet as it had private things in it. Instead of dropping my Copsuckers VHS tape securely in her hand, my mom simply looked back and said, “You don’t really think this guy’s a cop, do you?” I was shocked, horrified and was called “dramatic” for snatching the tape out of her hand, tossing it back in the closet and slamming the door shut. This tape ordeal comes on the heels of Saturday night’s fiasco that included me putting them to bed and thinking I was going to enjoy a marathon session of Noah’s Arc (the Logo program) only to find my mom got out of bed and was waiting for me on my couch (bed, now that they’re in town) while I was on a bathroom break. “That boy is a real puto,” she exclaimed when I returned and found she was admiring Ricky having sex in his store room. I raced to change the channel and she said, “Turn it back, I like it and while you’re up why don’t you make some coffee and I’ll watch this with you.” Not only did my private Noah’s-Arc time go down the tubes, but I spent the evening doing the unthinkable – discussing my favorite gay show with my mom! What’s worse is that she even pointed out Wade and said, “He’s your favorite isn’t he? He looks like you’re type!” Oh my God! How does my mom even think she knows my type?! Crazy thing is – she’s right!! We don’t even discuss my being gay for Christ’s sake!! My parents requested I pick them up from my brother’s house this evening when I get home from the office. Carl, hold on to something.

On Blast
New Year’s resolutions are over-rated and often disregarded after February 1. What one New Year’s resolution do you intend to make and keep for 2006? What will you do to insure it is a priority?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Friday, December 23, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/23/05

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Three Strikes and You’re In?!
Three days after NYC transit workers walked off the job, leaving over seven million riders stranded, they chose to return to work today. The 35,000 employees of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) are trapped between their employer (the MTA) and their union, the Transit Workers Union (TWU). Last night, after hefty fines had been imposed on the union by a judge, union officials ordered the transit workers back to their posts. No contract has been finalized and it is rumored that the employees will now have the three days of fines and penalties worked into their new contracts. Somehow, it doesn’t seem the workers will get a fair shake at things. Of course, your friendly neighborhood editor was unable to come to work those three days, instead opting to power-shop, party and enjoy three free vacation days.

Without a Trace
Last night I received a disturbing telephone call from one of my cousin’s children. It seems my cousin, Nancy Robles, has vanished without a trace and has not been seen or heard from in over a week! Robles lives with her daughter in the south Bronx section of New York City and was last seen Thursday morning, December 15. Her daughter Crystal, alleges my cousin had been feeling ill that morning and that she asked Nancy to lie down until she felt better. Crystal says that upon returning from work that Thursday night, she found Nancy was gone, but she left her cell phone behind – a suspicious clue, since Nancy never leaves home without it. She has never been gone from her home without contacting a family member. Please pray for her speedy and safe return. I will update everyone in the coming days.
Description: Nancy Robles is approximately 5’4”, 165lbs, light-brown skinned, short blonde curls.

Not Joining Us in 2006
Both Isabela Maldonado and Andres Cruz – my aunt and uncle respectively – made this week their final week to grace us in life. Maldonado died last Tuesday of complications attributed to a heart condition while Cruz died of kidney failure on Wednesday. Maldonado was buried Wednesday and Cruz will be laid to rest today. Both lived and will be interned in Puerto Rico.

So, Uh…Yeah, Merry Christmas
It’s been a trying next-to-last week in 2005. Come to think of it, the last couple of weeks have been a bit on the morbid side. Whether it was the early frost that withered a blossoming relationship, the disappearance of a loved one or the death of two pillars of my family, it seems the end-of-year drama has been relentless. Strangely, I’ve been blessed with a composed peace this week. I am in great spirits and accept that nothing is happening that isn’t in my plan. Most important, I want to wish each of YOU, my blog family, a very MERRY CHRISTMAS! You have been my greatest gift this year. My blog family has provided me an outlet to sharpen my writing skills and also receive a plethora of opinions and viewpoints I would not have the benefit of otherwise. My best to everyone this holiday season.

On Blast
Is love felt in the heart or does it actually reside in the mind? If true love is defined as “To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person). To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person). To have an intense emotional attachment to” aren’t these feelings and emotions experienced by the mind and not the heart? Explain your view.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, December 19, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/19/05

Know When To Fold Them
Last Monday’s announcement that the romance between T and I had fizzled into oblivion left many bewildered – admittedly, even me. It seems that after an explosive and passionate two months, T and I have retreated to our corners and let bygones be bygones. The odd thing about this whole fiasco is that so many of you have contacted me personally to express your sheer disappointment in how abruptly, what seemed like a love made in heaven, had been sent straight into the depths of hell. Thank you all for your words of support. I know they are heartfelt. I sincerely hope I haven’t come across as uncaring, cold or distant, but here are the facts that helped me put this situation into perspective and make an intelligent decision for investing more time and effort into T:

1. The first six months of any relationship is the honeymoon period. Any/all minor issues should be resolved with little-to-no effort. Major fall-outs during this period should serve as a red flag of future drama and heartache.
2. True love never dies. I’ve proven this little fact, time and again. I may hate the behavior in some of my previous partners, but I sincerely love them – even today. It takes a lot to wear love down and even more to destroy it. If someone is able to drop a relationship without a second thought, it probably wasn’t that important – yes, that even goes for me.
3. Square peg in a circle hole theory. Sometimes we try to force things to work and prevent the normal progression of what is in your life plan. The Lord, Karma, common sense – you name it! – will sometimes help you avert a potentially bad situation. By forcing a relationship that is meeting its natural end, you may very well be setting yourself up for disaster. Understand that everyone is placed in your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime and stop forcing your “reason” players to be “lifetime” headaches.

So this weekend I hung-out with friends and realized that T’s “reason” was simple – to remind me that it’s important for me to love life and be open to all it has to offer. Sunday morning, as I glanced across the table at the beautiful almond eyes of the half-Asian, half African-American guest who joined me for breakfast, I smiled and thought to myself, that every end has a new beginning.

Six Days and Counting

In just six short days Santa will squeeze his way through my radiator and attempt to deposit gifts under my tree. Luckily for him, my slumlord sister doesn’t provide much in terms of heat, so his passage is completely clear. Ever the procrastinator, I have again waited until hours before the actual day hits before making my gift purchases – J’Moo, want to try power-shopping with me this Christmas? I promise I won’t have another anxiety attack.

Clear the Area! They’re coming! Hold on to something!
Mom and Dad Cruz are coming! That’s right, #1 and #2 will be landing in NYC on the afternoon of Christmas Day and will stay clear through to the second of January. I’m, uh… excited? No, no… wait… ELATED, that they will be again staying with me for the holiday. Dr. Feelgood has agreed to see me on the 22nd of the month to upgrade and increase my prescriptions. Please stand by.

On Blast
What gift would you give the first love of your life that would instantly let them know the gift was from you?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/14/05

The Queen and I
While weathering arctic winds that had my testicles nestled warmly within my abdomen, J’Moo and I made our way to The Actor’s Studio last night – the Bravo network’s taping of celebrity guests featuring host James Lipton. Last night’s guest, Queen Latifah aka Dana Owens, was astoundingly beautiful and down-to-earth. She explained how her determination, great friends and pure luck have made her an A-list celebrity. The Newark, NJ-born Latifah detailed the course of her career and even showed clips of an upcoming film she is starring in with LL Cool J. J’Moo, I don’t forgive you for acting as though you were knitting while the Queen was giving a slightly drawn-out story of how her entertainment company was formed. I laughed so hard I thought we would be asked to leave. All-in-all, this was an unforgettable introduction.

Problem Child Solved?
The Gerber family of Dunedin, Florida has filed a criminal complaint against their five-year old son’s school bus driver and the bus attendant for allegedly duct-taping his mouth shut while driving the tike home. "It hurt when you take it off, and when you put it on you, it's a little bit sticky," said Kyle Gerber. The driver and monitor have been taken off the route while an investigation takes place.

NYC Transit May Have Us Take A Walk
Beginning Friday at 12:01 a.m., NYC Transit workers may strike after conflicts in contract negotiations have held both sides in their corners and ready to take action. The Metropolitan Transit Authority has offered workers a six percent raise, but union officials demanded an eight percent raise. If a strike occurs New Yorkers may be forced to use cab service and personal vehicles to replace the oldest and largest transportation system in the country. NYC Mayor, Michael Bloomberg has already suggested some stringent rules would go into effect if a strike occurs – including HOV restrictions that will require four occupants to each car driving into the city limits. The strike would cost the city an estimate $200 million per day in lost economic activity and productivity.

La Nena Vieja?
Yolanda M. aka Krissy is celebrating a birthday today. The sensitive Sagittarius is juggling ideas for names for her new family gym business idea. A black-belt in karate that can break boards and still break hearts, Yo-Yo is one of the warmest additions to the Morning Edition family. Happy Birthday Baby! You look super and may you have many, many more!

Noah’s Arc; Tonight at 10 on LOGO; Season Finale
Tonight’s episode of Noah’s Arc is the season finale of what has become my favorite show this year. Wade’s inability to proudly shout his love for Noah from the rooftops may make Noah stray into another’s arms. Ricky struggles to get over Junito – his first foray into the “love” scene. Chance and Eddie tie the knot – or do they? Alex pushes Trey, but will he push him right out the door? If you’ve fallen behind, please check-out last week’s episode beginning at 9:30 p.m.

On Blast
Krissy is taking a stab at starting a new family-oriented gym that focuses on fitness for parents and children together. That is, family fitness with a “quality time” twist. It’s brainstorming time! What two (2) name suggestions would you give for a business with this focus?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, December 12, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 12/12/05

Pushing For a Dead-End Job
The Funeral Directors Association is hoping you or your youngster will consider a career dealing with the dead. It is estimated that with the rising deaths in the baby boomer generation there will be a shortage of funeral directors, making recruitment an utmost priority. Now funeral directors across the country are joining other professionals visiting area high schools on career day to encourage youngsters to make the cut.

If You Love Someone, Set Them Free
In the vein of the cock-and-bull line of “If you love someone set them free, if they return they’re yours and if they don’t they never were” I’ve set T free – or wait, did he storm out of my apartment like someone set a match to his balls at 11:30 last night?! In either case, temperaments flared and I’m not the one to toil with, so I didn’t exactly get out of bed to chase him up a NYC block. All said, we had an argument – in the nude, no less – that ended with chicken necking, a few expletives and T taking his toys and leaving my play pen. Will he return? Is it over? Your guess is as good as mine. Unfortunately, when you reach my age dating takes a different twist and the only question I have is – hey T, are you still going skiing with me or should I book another partner in your place?

Long Story Short
Tomorrow I will be joining J’Moo at the filming of Inside the Actor’s Studio featuring my girl, Queen Latifah. Inside the Actor’s Studio normally airs on the Bravo channel – I don’t have an air date for this particular episode. Noah’s Arc is airing their season finale this Wednesday at 10. I don’t know what I’m going to do without my boys! If you missed last week’s episode you can catch it tonight at 10:30 on the LOGO channel. Sunday, December 18, a group of us will trek up to Woodbury Common to do some last-minute holiday shopping. These outlets brought me luck last year when I stocked-up on gifts for most of my family and friends. Tattoo Saturday? Well, just maybe. This Saturday a tattoo artist will give me an assessment – of both pain and price – to plaster the Puerto Rican flag on my right arm. The lovely waving banner will be framed by the script name, “Cocoa Rican.” If I can deal with this kind-of pain I’ll settle in for a nipple piercing before summer. Carmen C. had another FAB-U festivity last Saturday. The Martha Stewart-esque Carmen had a holiday appointed home with assorted tasty treats for all. New crowd, new convo, all fun! Thanks Carmen.

On Blast
If my aunt had balls would she be my uncle or would she be my aunt with a little extra? If the glass is half full, should I be wondering who drank the other half? If one bird in the hand beats two in the bush, why the heck are we looking behind the darn bush? What idiot came up with “Careful what you ask for because you just might get it?” Did they have no concept of what to ask for? Somebody hit me back and keep it light – PLEASE!

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/8/05

Noah’s Arc; Update
With only one episode left this season – short season, huh?! – Noah’s Arc is shaping up to be an interesting series with as many issues as some of its more well-developed straight sitcom predecessors. A girlfriend of mine called up yesterday to announce she believed Noah’s Arc reminded her of a gay Sex and the City. Last night Ricky reverted to his selfish ways as he attempted to dispose of HOT doctor new-comer and piece-of-eye-candy, Junito. The scene was a reminder that discrimination and ignorance regarding HIV+ people is still alive and well – even in the gay subculture. Alex is blindly abusing Trey’s time. Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to recognize that your partner is not at your beck-and-call simply because you’re in a relationship. Chance and Keith will be tying the knot – but not in Chance’s childhood church. Both have opted to hold their ceremony where their vows will be celebrated, rather than tolerated. Finally, Wade has taken a HUGE step forward in asking Noah, whom he has been rooming with temporarily, to make the shared living arrangement permanent. Noah appears apprehensive about the idea – somebody please slap this queen to the ground! For the record Wade, I’ll press your t-shirts any day!! Next Wednesday is the final episode of season one – and there had better be a season two or LOGO will be getting a serious letter and petition from moi’! Look for the BIG Chance and Keith wedding day with some shocking cast surprises.

J’Moo better; Meets Noah’s Cast
Resident blogger J’Moo aka Clent J., is out of the hospital after a bout with diverticulitis. Immediately following his discharge from Mt. Sinai hospital, J’Moo joined his ex and hairdresser to the celebrities, Oscar at NYC Mayor Bloomberg’s table for the G-MAN Annual Awards festivities. While at the awards J’Moo rubbed shoulders with the cast of Noah’s Arc – well, minus characters Trey and Eddie -which strengthens my belief that both actors might very well be straight in real life.

Brokeback Mountain; Begins Friday, December 9
Brokeback Mountain, directed by Ang Lee, opens in selected theaters this Friday, December 9. It is being touted as “the most poignant love story.” Straight actors Jake Gyllenhaal (as Jack Twist) and Heath Ledger (as Ennis Del Mar) play gay cowboys who deny their love for each other and forge on with straight lives – including wives and children. Does true love win in the end or does the need to conform to society establish itself as the glue to keep relationships together? Based on the Annie Proulx story about a secret – and extremely forbidden – relationship, the story shows two cowboys and their lives over a course of many years. This movie is not about gays and acceptance; it’s about true love and the desperate need to have it survive. Please let me know if you’d like to join T and me to catch a Sunday matinee of this flick. Bring a tissue box.

Real Thirsty; Real Stupid
Police officer Ronald Dupuis of Michigan was riding shotgun with partner Prema Graham when he demanded she pull the patrol car over so that he could buy a soft drink. When she refused, Dupuis pulled his taser gun and shocked Graham in the leg. She was not seriously injured, but Dupuis was fired and charged with assault. He may serve up to three months in jail.

Manners…Moron!
Today we are skipping our On Blast column and instead publishing our first EVER, Manners Moron, piece. This is where I share manner items that we can all address to live more peaceful – and sometimes more productive – lives. Today’s point of contention – Address the question; save the wit. When someone asks you a question that a “yes” or “no” answer will answer, DO NOT attempt to add wit or sarcasm by elaborating or going into a “What do you think….” or “I thought we discussed….” It is much easier and word efficient to simply answer “yes” or “no.” Let’s cut the unnecessary sarcasm with friends, family and others by sticking to answering the question asked, first. If the person making the inquiry chooses to have you elaborate, then you may ZAP their azz. Until then, save the sarcasm, answer the question at hand and realize that sometimes you make matters much worse by expanding unnecessarily.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, December 05, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/5/05

Let It Snow
The weather service is predicting our first big snowstorm beginning today. The Washington DC area will see the snow begin at noon, while we in the BIG Apple aren’t due to get any flakes until this evening. West Virginia and Virginia are expected to be blanketed by 6-12 inches by the end of the whole mess. The pessimistic reports are predicting a whopping 16 inches for that region.

It’s Hard; Don’t Rub It; You’ll Be Prosecuted
Yvan Salman was a 19th century journalist who is said to have been killed by Napoleon’s nephew during a duel. Apparently Salman was a real ladies man who was due to be married the day after he was killed. Parisians erected (and I use the word loosely) a statue of Salman entitled Victor Noir. Apparently the Noir has been vandalized by female visitors who have taken to rubbing the statute for good luck. The tale being that if you rub the statue and leave a flower you will be married by year’s end. The statue shows Noir lying flat on his back with his pee-pee large and slightly erect. New signs (and a fence) now warn that “Any damage caused by graffiti or indecent rubbing will be prosecuted.”

Oh Christmas Tree!
Yesterday evening, T and I took to the streets of NYC to do the tourist “thing.” Armed with contrasting tan and black outfits that included parkas, hats, gloves, scarves and frozen smiles to boot, we joined the hundreds of folks taking-in this year’s Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, along with the elaborate windows at Saks Fifth Avenue. The bitter temperatures provided the rosy cheek smiles T and I shared as the lights bounced off our eyes; we were like kids when we joined-in on the “Let it snow…” carol that bellowed in the background. Finally, with Starbucks’ coffees in hand, we boarded the train and settled-in for a quiet, romantic dinner at the Caliente Cab Company in the West Village. The HOT Mexican fare led us to our next stop at the Pleasure Chest where T and I bought surprise “preview” Christmas toys for each other to enjoy before bedtime. Note to self: Edible underclothes are a second dessert when counting calories.

On Blast
T and I enjoy a healthy bout of role play to enhance and enrich our sexual interactions. There appears to be a great deal of fun in having your partner be anything or anyone you want them to be. What one character role would you have your partner play to heighten your sexual experience? Share a brief summary of what the encounter would entail.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Friday, December 02, 2005

Evening Edition - 12/2/05

Two Eggs and A Coach Bag
Donya W., has a shopping trip to Tanger Outlet in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware on December 17. The cost is $30. and they’re throwing in a continental breakfast to boot. The bus leaves at 9:00 a.m. from Forestville Mall in Forestville, Maryland and returns at 9:00 p.m. To reserve a seat simply e-mail Donya at donya_20746@yahoo.com To visit the Tanger Outlet webpage just go to
http://www.tangeroutlet.com/centers/frameset.html?i=/centers/index.html?center=REH

Complete details are also located at
http://www.evite.com/pages/gt/events/viewPub.jsp?eventID=DASVKYCHJDBXKUKUTTHU.

Happy shopping y’all!

J’Moo Still Hospitalized; Prayers Please
Resident blogger J’Moo aka Clent J. is still hospitalized at Mt. Sinai hospital in NYC. Although I don’t have full details yet, the ailment appears to include severe abdominal pains that might require surgery. Please join me in dropping the knees tonight for his quick recovery.

Noah’s Arc; Catch up tonight at 12:30 a.m.
Okay, so maybe it’s really considered tomorrow morning, but for those of us who stay up late on Friday’s it’s tonight…Noah’s Arc is airing the latest two episodes on Logo beginning at 12:30 a.m. Anyone who has been slacking off on this HOT new show should curl up to the HOT men of Noah’s Arc. Want to chat about it during commercials, then hit me up at my home number 718-239-3540 – well, assuming the action on the show hasn’t inspired some crazy activities that will keep my hands and mouth busy. …wink, wink.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Morning Edition - 12/2/05

10 Spot Makeover
The $10 bill is getting a complete makeover and will debut in retail outlets, banks and cash machines near you by March 2, 2006. Some areas may take longer to get the redesigned bill. Over 800 million copies of the bill will be printed. The $20 bill was revamped in 2003 and the $50 was refreshed in 2004. There are no plans to refurbish the $1, $2 and $5 bills. Ten dollar bills stay in circulation approximately three years, while the more active $1 bill only gets circulated about 22 months. Alexander Hamilton, our first US treasurer, will still grace the $10 bill. The new bill will include red, yellow and orange hues added to the money green.

Deadly Text Message; Did I do that?!
A Colorado teen faces up to a year in jail after being charged with a misdemeanor for careless driving. The 17-year old lost control of his vehicle and killed 63-year old Jim Price who was cycling near the road when he attempted to send a text message while driving. The charge carries a mandatory one year prison sentence. The teen has not been identified because he is a minor. The teen was issued a summons and ordered to appear in court.

It’s Your Opinion; That’s Cool
Ake Green was preaching to his congregation in Sweden two years ago when his sermon turned to gays and their role in society. Well, to quote from the reverend, his exact words were that homosexuality was “a deep cancerous tumor on all society.” Shortly thereafter he was charged with “hate speech.” He was recently acquitted and the Swedish Supreme Court ruled that Green is protected under the European freedom of expression. To Green’s credit, he has agreed to refrain from preaching against gays in the future. His sermon two years ago also included his belief that gays were more likely to rape children and animals.

Long Story Short
Jeanine H. officially left ABA and has started her career as Grassroots Coordinator at the American Public Power Association in DC. Congrats Jeanine. Carmen C. will be having one of her festive gatherings on Saturday, December 10. The effervescent Carmen plans light, but filling, appetizers and a host of tasty cocktails. T and I will be catching Rent, the movie version of the hugely-popular Broadway play, this weekend. Reviews to follow on Monday. Men on Film anyone? Evelyn M. is collecting the first installment for the March 3-5 Ski trip in Pennsylvania. The trip includes dancing, drinking, some serious card playing and – who knew?! – skiing! New Yorkers – or those visiting the Apple in March - are encouraged to attend. Please hit me up or let us know via the comments area if you’re interested in more info. Clent J. aka J’Moo is in the hospital after sudden abdominal cramps. I received a voicemail from him this morning saying he would update us by this afternoon with his condition. Our prayers are with you pumpkin!

On Blast
Not breaking the bank during the holiday season is important. Remember that giving a token gift during Christmas is okay, so long as it is thoughtful and creative. Birthdays are when you make it special with a REAL gift. What gift ideas under $20 do you have for close friends that still show you care and convey warmth? What gift(s) are just completely unacceptable?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Morning Edition - 11/30/05

Honey, I’m Home!
For the last eleven days I have been playing the role of retiree in HOT and sunny Puerto Rico – yeah, the shining star of the Caribbean. My sidekick Freaking Rican and I were able to hit some beautiful beaches while sloshing down some Pina Coladas – yeah, we even shared stories about how some of the men were a complete waste for not being available to Freaking – serious eye candy for me though! Just before leaving on my Caribbean cool-out I stood at the check-in line at the American Airlines terminal with T who went in his pocket and pulled – what he called – a placeholder ring on my finger. When I asked him, “What is this for?” T responded by getting on one knee – right in front of hundreds of travelers – and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I quickly pulled him up, hugged him tight and planted a long wet one on him. So I guess you can say I got engaged right before taking my trip into Satan’s lair. The Maldonado/Cruz family gathering was festive and bordered on nut-house excitement. We all discovered that while some families have high-blood pressure or diabetes run in their family – the Maldonado family has a history of mental illness. Who knew?!?! My clubbing with the locals was HOT-HOT-HOT and I had to use all my powers to deflect the oncoming advances of the garlic munchers. I even saw a T look-alike, but I know best and stayed clear! I returned Monday night to a bouquet of my favorite flowers – white tulips! My honey was waiting for me, flowers, a smile and a special gift…I stayed up enjoying my welcome-home gift until 5 a.m…..wink, wink. Special thank-you to Freaking for enjoying my vacation with me and to Marcia, Col and Yolanda for staying in touch while I was out there. Today I hope to eat with the ladies who lunch…. Carm, Mich, Yo, Ana, Tash, Juana and sistah Maldonado are all welcome. Hit me up with time and location!

You Can’t Blow Me Until Next June
The hurricane season officially ends today. The 2005 hurricane season was the busiest and costliest in US history. No hurricane has ever been known to hit the US mainland between December and May. This year 13 hurricanes – four of which hit the US and three were Category 5 storms – hit the US mainland. Puerto Rico had a brief two-day tropical storm during my visit last week. Katrina proved to be the deadliest US hurricane since 1928, killing an estimated 1,300 folks.

Noah’s Arc – Tonight at 10; LOGO Channel
After taking a week off and showing a repeat while I was away, Noah’s Arc returns tonight with a brand new episode. Tonight’s episode, entitled Love is a Battlefield will explore Ricky’s new-found love-life with Junito and his eek “issue,” Alex and Trey’s fading sexual involvement, Wade and Noah’s career-relationship tennis match and we’ll finally know whether Chance wants Keith back. For those who have trouble keeping up with the series, tune-in at 9:30 p.m. to see the last episode. The new episode airs at 10 p.m.

On Blast
I have always frowned on gay marriage – well, personally – not as an issue – as I believed gay marriage was another carrot dangled by the straight community to lure the gay community into mainstream “normalcy.” Now that I’ve accepted T’s proposal to spend the rest of our lives together, we’re juggling ideas for the where and how of a trendy, yet simple wedding that doesn’t conform to “straight” standards. Here’s my initial thought…Puerto Rico beach wedding. Friday night cocktail party to acquaint my guests – island flare for all. Saturday Sarong-clad groom and groom vows on the beach… off-beach tent reception. Two-to-three day honeymoon on the island with our guests enjoying a Spa treatment Sunday before catching their evening flights. Your thoughts?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Morning Edition - 11/16/05

Shot To Death?
The death of two women, one who died in 2003 and one in 2004 are being tried as first degree murder in Canada after Johnson Apanga Aziga, 49, failed to inform them he was HIV positive prior to having sexual intercourse with them. He is also standing trial for aggravated sexual assault for his sexual involvement with 11 other women. Canadian legal analyst Steven Skurka said this is clearly not a case of consenting to risk just because you consent to having sex. "Let me explain it to you this way: If someone walked into a restaurant and ordered a meal, and the chef deliberately poisoned the meal, you could hardly say, 'Well, you agreed to eat the food, didn't you?' It's no different with the women in this case," Skurka said. Aziga is remanded to custody until his trial on December 16.

Noah’s Arc; Tonight at 10 p.m. on LOGO
It’s that time again folks! Noah’s Arc (NA) is on tonight with last week’s episode airing at 9:30 p.m. and the new episode playing at 10 p.m. Tonight, Noah finds himself confronting two important issues – how do you keep the peace at home while telling your partner that you may be taking his job? Alex, who started his own AIDS clinic last week, will now put pressure on his friends to get it popping. Ricky, Ricky, Ricky… what can be said? The man just can’t seem to commit to anything – other than a different partner every night. Now, Ricky will meet his match in a new character introduced tonight – Junito. Will Ricky trade his lust in for some love? Check out the tea at
http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/noahs_arc/series.jhtml

Eddie, Johnny and the Rumor Mill
Eddie Murphy and Johnny Gill have long been rumored to have some sugar in their tank – yeah, some would say they dip-and-dab, but there has always been the issue of proof. Now, I’ll be the first to discourage any outing (exposing) of folks not yet ready to come out of the safety of their closets, but this one is too juicy to let up. My girl La-La in Charlotte, NC, forwarded a sweet piece featuring pictures of Eddie Murphy and Johnny Gill – TOGETHER – leaving a posh gay night club. When a reporter approached Murphy to ask some questions, Murphy gave him “the hand” and shouted some obscenities. I can’t attach pictures to this, but feel free to let me know if you need to see physical proof. Are they dating? What’s the story? Does anyone have additional information? Hit me up – PRONTO!

On Blast
You have an incredible partner. He/She is attentive, loving, giving, warm, affectionate and loyal. You are confronted with the opportunity to have a quick, discreet and enjoyable bang-up time with a HOT side-dish. There is NO risk of anyone really getting hurt – assuming you can keep your trap shut and you’ve been assured that there are no strings attached. Be honest – would you do it?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, November 14, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 11/14/05

Time Stood Still
Sunday morning just before the sun could make its way over the horizon, time stood still. I heard a soft whisper in my ear and at first I couldn’t quite make out what it said, but it said it several times before my conscious mind could decipher the words, “I love you… I love you so much.” Just when I thought I would jump, hit the floor running and dress on my way out the door, I heard a heart-reflex response that said, “I love you too.” T had awakened just moments before I did and was holding me softly in his arms, my waist pinned between his thighs a broad smile gleaming across his face. “I didn’t think you were awake,” he said. “Judging by my response, I didn’t think I was awake either,” I said. We both laughed and softly kissed, his soft full lips enveloping mine. The candle I had lit the night before to ease us into sleep was now just a flicker in the room’s dawning. There was a warm, muted silence that felt safe and true. Neither of us said another word for the next two hours. Our mouths moved and our faces contorted with the look of raw passion, but never a word was uttered. As he laid his head on my chest he smiled again and said, “I can feel your heart beating.” I was about to correct him and say, you mean “hear,” but I realized he was right. I could feel his beating as well. “You know I meant what I said, right?” T said looking up at me, his eyes as innocent as a mischievous puppy. “Yeah, I know you did and for the record, I do too.” The realist in me quickly tried to rear his head and I said, “You know, if a friend of mine told me they…” but T put his hand to my mouth and said, “I’m not one of your friends and we’re not one of your blog questions, so leave it alone.” He took his hand from my mouth to reveal a quirky smile – the kind of smile I have when I’m a bit apprehensive. “Don’t be scared. I’ve got this,” T said. I sat up and rather than fight the feeling, I said, “Coffee?” He patted the bed and said, “Yeah, light and sweet like my baby, but first let me hold you a minute.” Needless to say, our first cups of coffee were had over brunch later that afternoon. Our apologies to Evelyn M and Celia P who we missed drinks with on Thursday night. Ladies! It took three days to get out of the house!

Island Countdown
This Saturday, November 19, I will be heading to La Isla Del Encanto – Puerto Rico! Yes, I’m excited! I will be keeping notes of my excursion and will be reporting back all my delicious exploits.


On Blast
I know T didn't want me to ask...but when do I listen? Is it difficult to get candle wax off pubic hair?


Keep passin’ the open windows…

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 11/10/05

Noah’s Arc – Recap
The acting at NA is slowly, but surely, improving and last night’s episode held some pretty funny moments. Chance as a thug was a joke in-and-of-itself, while Alex’s insistence on playing Mother Teresa at his place of employment had him opting for a clinic start-up of his own. Noah and Wade’s relationship is progressing in leaps and bounds – Wade even threw Noah a surprise birthday party. Being there for someone can help you win-over someone’s heart and Eddie proved to Chance that he could be counted-on to be there when even his closest friends left him in the middle of ghetto-central to fend for himself. Noah took on a job with Paramount pictures, but his position as editor for a script can pit him against the love of his life as he attempts to revamp a script written by Wade.

The Ski Trip
Friday, March 3 through Sunday, March 5, Evelyn M. is hosting a ski trip at the Eisenhower All-Star Resort in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. The cost per person ranges from $285. per person if you don’t mind bunking four to a room, to $320. per person to do the one-on-one deal. The fee includes, transportation, breakfast and dinner during your stay, Friday through Sunday parties and, go figure – skiing! The first installment of $100 per person is due Thursday, December 1 and the balance should be paid by mid February. For more information or to sign-up please let me know via e-mail and I will forward this to Evelyn M.

Long Story Short
Jeanine A., of ABA in DC fame, is breaking ranks with the association and joining another firm. Her offer comes on the heels of her fifth year with the bankers
. Please call Jeanine or ABA directly for exact farewell party info. Carlos C. is recovering well since his release from the hospital over a week ago. He still has a nurse at home who changes his dressing daily. T and I will be spending the weekend together – even babysitting on Saturday night. Last night’s foray into watching Noah’s Arc while curled up on the couch together led to a late night and an even later morning. By the way T, popcorn while watching TV is great, but for the record, popcorn butter burns. Ewww...

On Blast
Name a physical characteristic of your partner/spouse you prefer DID NOT pass-on to your children.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Morning Edition - 11/9/05

Billionaire Buys Apple – Again
With $5 billion in his bankroll and at his disposal, NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg used $74 million in a victorious push to stay-on as the first Republican candidate to win with a 20-point lead. This will be Bloomberg’s second term as mayor. Over $30 million of the campaign funds were used for advertising alone. His opponent, Fernando Ferrer, would have been the first Latino man to hold the office of mayor in New York City. Bloomberg, a moderate Republican, supports gay marriage and abortion rights. For the record, he’s also a former democrat. Ferrer is Puerto Rican and needed ALL the black and Latino vote to trump Bloomberg, but he consistently failed to gain their support – primarily the black support – when he said the shooting of a black immigrant by police officers was not a crime. This was Ferrer’s third attempt at capturing the mayor’s office. He is a former Bronx borough president.

CDC Report; When Big Is Bad
When the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) release a report most folks stand at attention and listen. This time the report showed an increase in the spread of syphilis among gay and bisexual men in the U.S. Two-thirds (64%) of all new cases of syphilis in 2004 belonged to gay men. The disease is especially a threat to metropolitan areas such as San Francisco and Atlanta who have the highest number of new cases; topping the top-ten list. Following, in order, are Baltimore, New Orleans, St. Louis, Washington D.C., Dallas, Jersey City and Chicago; remarkably, New York City ranks 19th on the list. Everyone is cautioned to use protection – including during oral sex, which some gay men have turned to in an effort to reduce their chance of HIV infection.

Noah’s Arc; Tonight at 10
Tonight, my boys are back on the tube with the issue of masculinity and the “thug” culture. Chance will explore another side of himself as he struggles with the reason behind why his partner, Eddie, cheated with a thug. A couple of weeks ago, we found out that after moving in with Eddie, Chance was rocked to his foundation when he discovered an affair that had him turn a critical eye on himself. Will Chance transform into a thug or will he simply find out that a man is a man regardless of how feminine or masculine others perceive him to be? If you missed the last episode, please tune-in to the Logo channel a half-hour earlier (9:30 p.m.) to catch last week’s episode with the current episode airing at 10.

La Isla Bonita
My crumb cake T had a vacation planned to the Dominican Republic with his friends in the coming months, but has opted to switch-it-up and join me for an island rendezvous in Puerto Rico this month. The spontaneous decision has me both smiling hard and scrambling to find a more appropriate bathing suit. Keep me in your prayers as I make the scary introduction – T to my parents. I just don’t want to have the Puerto Rican version of Meet The Fockers happening to me! T and I will be fleshing the trip out when he joins me tonight for a little Noah’s Arc and nookie. That-a boy!

On Blast
Toys, toys and more toys. A friend of a friend mentioned the use of toys last night and how they enhance her sex life. Toys can very well be the spice to invigorate a bored lover or awaken new sensory spots. What (if any) toy would you recommend and why? What are the drawbacks of toys?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Morning Edition - 11/8/05

Pump Your Brakes Sister
Let’s “keep it real” here. Sometimes, no matter how cool and open-minded you think you are, you come across a situation that just catches you off-guard or dishevels you a bit. It’s natural. What’s not natural – well, not for an open-minded person - is to take that awkward experience and turn it into an uncomfortable experience; an experience that forces me to pull your card and tear you a new one. Yesterday, after T and I rode into work together, we were exiting the train station when we ran into two girlfriends of mine (older ladies) and a friend of theirs. Patti, Carol and Julia were all smiles and kisses as T and I joined them and said hello. Patti, who I’ve known longer than Carol, immediately asked why she hadn’t heard from me all weekend and turned to T and said, “You must be the reason he hasn’t come up for air.” I was a bit unnerved by her comment, but took this cue as a firm assertion that everyone present was aware of what was up with T and I and that I was free to speak about anything. “I’m sorry Patti, but T and I were busy trying to make babies all weekend,” I responded. Patti, Carol and Julia all laughed and T and I held hands his head leaning lovingly on my shoulder. We chatted a while longer before T and I announced we were rushing off to work. A few steps from the ladies, T and I turned to each other and gave each other the cursory farewell peck shared by many couples. It was then that we both heard Julia bellowing, “Oh my God! Oh my God!!” Rather than turn to see what she was referring to – I’m not a rocket scientist, but I suspect she was flabbergasted that T and I shared any affection in Grand Central Station – both T and I walked our separate ways. Later, T phoned me to mention the incident and said, “I’m curious to hear what your friend has to say when you see her tomorrow morning, since I thought she was open-minded.” I told him I’d definitely check it out. Well, this morning Pattie, Carol and Julia were again perched at their ledge at the Grand Central exit when I came strolling through. Patti, pulled my arm and immediately said, “You are so crazy. Why did you disrespect Julia like that yesterday?” I was taken aback, but was more interested in clarifying what “disrespect” she was referring to. “Patti, what was your friend Julia so offended by?” I asked irritated by the whole scene. Patti attempted to lower her voice – to give you a visual, Julia was sitting two seats away from her on the same bench – and said, “Uh, when you mentioned you spent your weekend trying to make babies, Julia was offended. She is old school and you can see how she wouldn’t take to that kind of stuff,” Patti tried to explain. I felt the blood rush to my face and responded before I could even reflect on my words, “Look ladies,” I said, turning to all three of them, “This is 2005, so if you get offended or feel disrespected because two people are showing affection, then that’s your hang-up, but in the future, don’t call us over and taunt us to provide you with some comic relief and entertainment, if you don’t know what the outcome will be. More importantly, I’m not ashamed, of who I am or who I’m with, so if you felt disrespected Julia, maybe you should stay home and away from the public areas that may remind you that this isn’t 1922 anymore.” Patti, Carol and Julia now sat, mouth agape, looking like I had slapped them all to the floor and was allowing them to get back up. I then smiled and made a brief attempt at leaving them with some way at regaining their composure when I said, “…and the next time you guys bring up some ignorant discussion to me first thing in the morning, I’m going to tear up your wedding invitations. T and I just won’t tolerate ignorance from the geriatric crew.” They all laughed heartily and I took the reprieve to wave and walk away. I called T and recounted the story to him and we both laughed. Just before we hung up he said, “Baby, I know you’re laughing, but I also know they upset you. Thanks for being proud of me and standing up for us. You have no idea how many cool points I’ve added to your sheet for this.” I smiled and felt a slight frog in my throat when I responded, “Add them, subtract them, but know that in the end, no band of cackling fools will divide us. Have a great day baby.” He blew a kiss, we both sighed and hung up.

On Blast
Appropriate behavior is important in ANY relationship. Necking in church, hand-holding at work, groping in public, are all forms on inappropriate behavior. Is there a different set of rules for straight and gay couples OR is the rule of acceptable and appropriate behavior universal?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, November 07, 2005

Morning Edition - 11/7/05

Don’t Be A Chicken
With each adult American consuming close to 90 pounds of chicken per year, it stands to reason that the poultry industry is terrified now that the Avian flu – presently in Europe and Asia – is threatening the US mainland. As of October, close to 122 folks have died of the Avian flu. To date no US cases have been reported and since the disease has not mutated, it cannot be passed from human-to-human. The Avian flu scare may reduce chicken consumption in the US by up to 40% this year.

What A Drag
Los Angeles is instituting a new ad campaign to combat smoking in the gay community. The new ads, titled “The Last Drag,” will target the gay and lesbian community. Research has shown that the gay and lesbian community are more than twice as likely, than their straight counterparts, to smoke. The ads will be posted in bars and clubs – presently known to be the first place gays are introduced to smoking.

If You Say My Eyes Are Beautiful
“If you say, my eyes, my eyes are beautiful; it’s because they’re looking at you.” Such is the case with my new-found love connection “T” aka Jim. That’s right, T and I connected this weekend and spent a whirl-wind romantic three days getting to know each other – yeah, even in the biblical sense. The amazing connection, incredible conversation and passionate lovemaking appear to be the beginning of a burgeoning love story we both hope will flourish into a long-term affair. When I picked up T on Friday, we both laughed at the fact that we were wearing matching jeans, long-sleeve white t-shirts and red leisure jackets. I jumped out of my car and we both turned around and mimicked mirror images with each other before giving Penn Station an eerie sense that twins were engaging in a taboo-esque embrace. The weekend even took a positive, but odd turn, when we decided to hit the pews of Salem Pentecostal Church Sunday morning to worship together – hey, we figure a couple that worships together, uh… at least has the same point of reference when calling out the mighty name of Jesus later in the evening. As we commuted into work together this morning we longingly stared at each other, our bodies pressed together in the crowded subway car. We snuck a few love-lorn kisses between train jerks and women on the train didn’t know whether to turn in shock or press their knees together at the bold display of brotherly love. T and I are attempting to hold out until Wednesday night to reconnect, but judging by the two phone calls I’ve received from him since our separation at 9 a.m., the prospect of waiting 48 hours doesn’t look promising.

On Blast
One of the astounding things between T and I is how similar we are to each other. We are amazed at how our sense of style, body types, complexion and sense of humor are virtual duplicates of the others’. What quality do you have that you would find overwhelmingly attractive in someone you date?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Morning Edition - 11/3/05

Noah’s Arc – Recap of last night
Last night Noah’s Arc found Wade and Noah treading new waters as Wade decided to introduce the very flamboyant Noah to his straight football buddies. Before actually heading out to the bar for the boys-night-out, Wade stops by and makes some adjustments to Noah’s outfit – all in the name of making him look hot, of course – yeah, right! When Noah gets wind of Wade’s attitude around his testosterone pals, he’s furious and confronts Wade – in homeboy corn rolls and “hoody” top to get his point across. Probably the funniest and most shocking part of the show last night was the solidarity Ricky, Chance and Noah showed Alex when they took-on dressing in drag for a mini amateur night. Alex began having cold feet just before going on the stage and the guys (rehearsed and all) joined him for a hot number. For the record, Alex and Ricky really were doing it in drag – Noah honey, keep your beautiful football head out of women’s make-up. Eddie is attempting to convince Chance of how sorry he was for cheating. Last night his efforts were fruitless. If you missed the show last night you have another chance at watching it this Saturday at 11 p.m. on the Logo Channel.

Latina Interrupted
Excuse me nenas, but you’re never that slick… okay, I just had to put that out there for my muchachitas. Evangelina Gonzalez of Texas was recently hit with the same reality when she chose not to pay the tolls in her Dallas area community, said the North Texas Tollway Authority. Cameras caught Gonzalez running the toll plaza close to 3,000 times since February 2004. With fines and fees amounting to over $76,039, Gonzalez was arrested at her home last month. She will be put on trial and asked to pay the fines. The state has cameras showing Gonzalez breezing through without paying.

Stickin’ It ToYour Ex
After Gail O’Toole broke it off with boyfriend Ken Slaby she decided it was time to take matters into her own hands. She invited Slaby to her home for dinner and since he wanted to rekindle the relationship he obliged. After dinner, O’Toole waited for Slaby to fall asleep before she glued his penis to his stomach, his nuts to his leg and his butt cheeks together. She then went on to empty a bottle of nail polish into his hair. Slaby who was in shock when he awoke to such a “sticky” situation, was even more humiliated when he was forced by O’Toole out into the street – nude and glued, where he walked close to a mile to a pay phone to call authorities. O’Toole has been convicted of simple assault and sentenced to six months for her creative work. She will also stand trial in a civil case brought on by Slaby, who is seeking $30,000 in damages.

Loving You, Loving Me
With over 7 hours of consistent and exuberant telephone conversation and topics that would make Joan Rivers blush and fall-out, “Jim” and I are moving at a lightning pace that feels right as rain. “Jim” and I are scheduled to hang-out Friday night and throughout the weekend in what we both anticipate will be a cosmic experience. I’m announcing my man-of-honor (ala maid of honor) next week – just kidding. Truth is, Jim and I are basking in each other’s adulation right now. Stay tuned.

On Blast
Last night Noah’s Arc explored the issue of changing who you are to help get along with your partner’s friends. Name one instance when you’ve changed who you are for the purpose of making a better impression and what the outcome was.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 11/2/05

Smile With My Heart
There’s really no other way to describe it. Some people make you feel warm inside and a sense that you’re smiling with your heart. Such is the case with “Jim,” who I had the pleasure of speaking to last night for over three hours. The odd thing is that the conversation never had a moment of dull chatter or meaningless pleasantries. While we discussed everything from what really went down with Bill, to what we’d like to do TOGETHER this weekend, Jim was always honest, open, humble and yes, even self assured. These qualities made me both interested and excited, since he never appeared conceited or obnoxious, rather as he put it, “A work in progress.” As I responded to him when he said this - “I want in on that construction project!” We laughed hardily and carefully touched on subjects that definitely built up sexual tension. Our first official date is set for Friday night – Saturday morning (…another one of our “charged” jokes).
**By the way, my apologies to Evelyn M. and girls, but I’ll have to cancel this Friday with you ladies. I have plowing…uh, I mean, pressing matters to attend to.

Noah’s Arc; Tonight at 10 p.m.; LOGO
Tonight at 10, the story of Noah and his “arc” of friends continue as Noah examines whether he should change his look and personality in an effort to make, sexually ambiguous Wade, a bit more comfortable. When we practice to deceive…. Well, you know the deal – so be sure to tune in.
For more info on tonight’s show, check out
http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/noahs_arc/episode.jhtml?episodeID=95005

On Blast
Female circumcision or genital mutilation – take your pick – is a barbaric practice whereby the clitoris is removed. It is practiced in certain regions of Africa and the middle east to highlight the lack of sexual stimulation for women during intercourse and to accentuate sex for females as strictly a means for reproduction. For women who have undergone this travesty of a procedure, what would you recommend to help them now enjoy sexual interaction?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Morning Edition - 11/1/05

NYC’s Halloween Parade; Ho-Hum
Last night I was front and center for NYC’s Halloween parade which runs through the West Village. The weather was astounding – clear skies, temperatures in the 60s and a light breeze coming off the muddy brown waters of the Hudson River. After waiting for the marchers to snake their way up Sixth Avenue, we were set up for disappointment – since most goons and goblins suffered from a lack of imagination this year. Every now and again we were treated to someone who really took the time and put it all out there. We counted at least fourteen Marilyn Monroe’s – a record, even for the west village. Of course, the boys and I were pleased to see that some folks can’t wait to strip down in the name of horror. There were several gym bodies that we bowed-down to – especially when they chose a very skimpy thong and body art as a costume. All-in-all it appears the mixed crowd was happy to frolic and explore together, but weren’t inspired enough to take chances on wearing costumes to capture anyone’s imagination this year.

Second Chance At A First Impression
Last July I enjoyed apple martinis at a local NYC bar where I met two perfect gentlemen who struck up conversation and some heavy flirtation with me. I was interested in one fella, but his pal was much more aggressive and snagged my number before his friend had the opportunity to reciprocate my advances. Well, it just so happens that these guys shared the same rules my friends and I do – that is, you don’t pursue someone your friend has on his/her radar. So, as it went, I was left to date the friend I wasn’t attracted to – we’ll need to name him for this story’s purpose, so we’ll call him Bill. Now don’t get me wrong, Bill was a great guy and we had a ball when we hung out, but I secretly wanted the friend to join us – we’ll now refer to the friend as Jim. As it turns out Bill started coming on strong and without hurting his feelings I began rebuffing and shutting down. It wasn’t long before Bill – who appears to be very perceptive – stopped calling. Frankly, the calling stopped so suddenly it even caught me by surprise. Since I had no intention of taking my friendship with Bill to the next level, I never inquired as to why he stopped calling – I assumed he knew what was up. Well sometimes life has a way of tossing the salad (sort-of speak) and bringing folks back together for another go-round. As one of my friends and I entered a packed bar last night to use the bathroom along the Halloween parade route, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me to him by the waist. I was suddenly face-to-face (more like nose to nose) with Jim. He smiled broadly and asked, “Where have you been?” I was initially speechless, but quickly responded, “Looking for you.” A soft pat on the behind and a slight giggle later and he was asking me, “So, what ever happened between you and Bill? You know he really, really liked you, right?” I said, “It’s a long story and it’s too noisy in here for me to even go there.” Besides, I have a strange feeling you know why your friend and I didn’t work out,” I said, with a sly grin on my face. He now had both his arms around my waist and our eyes were locked for what seemed like an eternity before he said, “Yeah, I think I do.” My friend, who had now come out of the bathroom, tugged at my arm and said, he’d wait for me outside. The interruption jarred me back into reality – the reality that it would be next to impossible to date Jim now that Bill and I weren’t even speaking. I waited for Jim to say something else – something to validate both our intuitions. “I really liked you too, so I avoided hanging with you and Bill. Now I wish I had stayed on top of things,” he said now pulling me even closer; our lips centimeters from each other. As I reached into my pocket to retrieve my ringing cell phone, our lips brushed each other and we both smiled. “Why don’t I take your number and we can talk about all of this without the massive crowds,” I suggested. He whispered his number into my ear as I dialed each digit into my phone. I completely ignored the incoming call from my friends waiting outside the bar. “So, I’ll call you,” I said, returning the cell phone back to my jacket’s inside pocket. “I’ll be waiting for your call and this time, I won’t back up for anyone else.” We were now virtually lip to lip with nothing left to say. It wasn’t until my friend, who returned to the crowded bar to find out what was taking me so long, pulled me back and said, “Uh, either get a room or let’s roll!” that I realized Jim and I were lip-locked, nestled in the heat of the crowd. Both of us laughed as I began walking away while yelling, “I’ll call you!” over the music and conversations that now drowned us both out. I’ll keep everyone posted on the outcome of this little fiasco.

On Blast
So, what’s the T?! Since Bill and I never engaged in any hanky-panky, would it be wrong to date Jim? How do you believe Jim and I should proceed? Is this just a fling that wasn’t meant to be?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, October 31, 2005

Morning Editon - 10/31/05

Happy Halloween!

Carlos C.; Drained – Literally
After a scary touch-and-go on Thursday night, Carlos had his chest cavity lanced and drained Friday. He remained hospitalized until last night, when he was sent home with a nurse that will change his dressing for the next week-or-so. Carlos has already been advised to see another hospital and another physician.

50 Cents For Your Thoughts?
Paramount Pictures agreed to take down billboards for the new 50 Cent flick, Get Rich or Die Tryin’, after activists and community groups expressed outrage at the poster depicting Fiddy with a microphone in one hand and a gun in the other. Placed strategically in underprivileged areas, most activists’ believed the billboards were sending the wrong message. Get Rich or Die Tryin’ will be in theaters on Wednesday, November 9.

Okay, I’m in Love; Call me a fan
Noah’s Arc has stirred the same undying devotion in me that Queer as Folk did five years ago. The show, which premiered on the Logo Channel two weeks ago, will be airing a new episode this Wednesday at 10 p.m. In this week’s episode Wade wants Noah to butch-it-up a bit for his straight friends, who coincidentally, don’t know Wade is exploring other sexual avenues. Noah struggles to maintain his identity and stand his ground. This weekend, my close circle of friends and I watched the first three episodes repeatedly and picked them apart with the precision exercised by anal men across the globe – Siskel and Ebert beware! By the way Bobby – Wade is my man and you and the crew will need to find another favorite character to lust after. For a look at the dreamy Wade check out…
http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/noahs_arc/personality.jhtml?personalityId=4928

On Blast
How important are public displays of affection (PDA) to maintaining a healthy relationship and what purpose – outside of warding-off onlookers – do PDAs serve?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Friday, October 28, 2005

Morning Edition - 10/28/05

Carlos C. In Hospital Again; Possible Surgery
Doctors discovered Carlos C. had residual blood in his chest cavity that may now be infected and require surgery. This morning Carlos and the family will meet with surgeons to discuss whether treatment will be needed. Surgery was aborted last night when it was found that Carlos' Cumadin levels were too high posing a his risk for bleeding during surgery.

Long Story Short
Frankie H. will be laid to rest today. Frankie died last Thursday of liver and kidney failure. Services will be held at Owens Funeral Home in Harlem, between 3-7 p.m. Ronald, who worked with Frankie at North General Hospital in NYC, died last Tuesday. The cause of his death is still unknown. Monday, NYC celebrates their yearly Halloween parade. Although the parade was primarily a gay function it has now gained wide straight attendance and support. Ladies... are we going together this year?

On Blast
Try as I may... Sometimes the exposure to frequent death, illness and tragedy can inspire a sense of detachment in people. I've recently felt that I'm becoming emotionally numb in an effort to methodically handle the negative instances in my life.
Name one instance that has affected your life so greatly that you may have shut down emotionally to cope with it?

Keep passin' the open windows...

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Morning Edition - 10/27/05

You Know What?! Forget it!
Harriet Miers, nominated by President Bush for the Supreme Court to replace outgoing justice Sandra O’Connor withdrew her nomination today. Miers was said to have had close ties to Bush – always in-step and in agreement with the Pres. Unfortunately, no one could figure out what Miers’ views were on any of the important issues – abortion, gay marriage, etc. Strangely, her choice to withdraw comes on the heels of the Senate’s announcement that they would seek documents from the White House that would clarify her views and help shed light on the Pres.’ choice to nominate her. Still on the list as a possible nominee for the Supreme Court is Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Yeah Bush, how about a Latino nominee for the bench this time around?

Neverland will be Never-His; Beat it
Michael Jackson has reportedly placed Neverland ranch in Los Olivos, California, up for sale. Fox News reports Jackson has missed payroll dates and his ranch has seen many staff departures. At least six staffers have left to date. Jackson is presently living in Bahrain and travels to London periodically.

Noah’s Arc
Many of you tuned-in, with me, to watch the first three episodes of Noah’s Arc last night on Logo. Noah, Wade, Alex, Trey, Chance, Eddie, Ricky and the rest of the cast did a job at solidifying and dispelling many myths about gay men in general. First, I’ll admit that Noah – the pivotal character who is the namesake of the show – needs some acting lessons, but it doesn’t take away from how fun to watch the series is. The new episode, which aired at 10 p.m., held some pretty touching, yet hysterical storylines. First, Wade shows his jealousy of the hands-on relationship shared by Noah and Ricky. As it turns out, Ricky and Noah never actually engaged in any hanky-panky thanks to a premature “skeet” on Noah’s part. We also discovered that Chance’s man, Eddie, has been cheating – while Chance baby-sits his daughter, no less! Chance took care of the problem and I especially love the “We need to talk,” following running your mini-van through someone’s living room! Alex is getting tired of having to get “freaky” with his long-time partner Trey. Trey has taken a liking to toys, leaving Alex to experiment much more than he cares for. Our next installment of Noah’s Arc is Wednesday, November 2, beginning at 9:30 p.m. Having trouble remembering who is who by name, then check out
http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/noahs_arc/cast.jhtml

On Blast
You be the judge… Noah’s Arc explores gay men of color and gives a glimpse into different personality types within our community. Now I want to hear what you thought…

On a scale of 1-5 (1 being the highest and 5 being the lowest) How would you rate the entertainment quality (funny, dramatic, insightful) of the show?

Who is your favorite character? Why?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Morning Edition - 10/26/05

Stay Away; Folks Hate You More
Pastor Ryan Rush of Bannockburn Baptist Church in Austin Texas told the Ku Klux Klan to stay away from a rally set to take place November 8 supporting proposition 2 which supports the Gay Marriage Amendment – a cause near and dear to the religious right. Basically, proposition 2 establishes the definition of marriage as one man and one woman – implicitly including this definition in the Texas constitution; prohibits judges from ever redefining marriage and restricts government bodies in Texas from using tax dollars to officially recognize or give benefits to homosexuals. Pastor Rush says he doesn’t want a riot to ensue because a hate-group, such as the Klan, supports this important cause. Quick question Reverend; so you’re saying it’s okay to hate the gays, but hating the gays while hating people of color is out of the question?

How Much Fat?
McDonald’s has finally relented to the pressures that be and agreed to display nutritional information right on the food packages and containers beginning February 2006. The new “sticker shock” will debut at the Olympic Winter Games in Turin, Italy. McDonald’s presently has nutritional information on their website and in some restaurant postings. A 2003 documentary entitled “Supersize Me” exposed McDonald’s as one of the leading fast food chains having meals with poor nutritional value.

Uh, Yeah… Let Me Swab Your Mouth First
We will soon have an at-home HIV test that will make knowing your partner’s or prospective partner’s HIV status a no-brainer. OraSure Technologies, in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania makes the home test – as easy to take as a home pregnancy test. Although the product has been ready for quite some time, there was fear that people testing positive for HIV would panic and suffer further damage without counseling. Now, researchers believe that the advent of new drugs may have made folks realize that you can live (medicated of course) with the condition. “If we’re going to win the war against AIDS, we need to make HIV testing as easy as pregnancy testing,” said Dr. Freya Spielberg, a researcher in the Center for AIDS Research at the University of Washington.

Noah’s Arc; Tonight starting at 9:00 p.m.
My new favorite program airs its second episode today. The hunks of Noah’s Arc take center stage as Wade experiences some jealousy about Noah and Ricky’s past. If you’re wondering what the f*ck I’m talking about then you’re in luck, because tonight Logo will rerun the premiere episode at 9 p.m., followed by the new episode at 10 p.m. The new episode will only be 30 minutes long. As Carlos C. joked last weekend, my phone is ringing non-stop from close friends who are enjoying the show as much as I am. Tomorrow, our blog will thoroughly discuss the first two episodes. I’m very interested in getting the female perspective on this show, so please tune-in. Boys… you know I know what you think!

On Blast
Scenario: You’ve already engaged in unprotected sexual intercourse with your current partner. The new HIV home test is released and you have the opportunity to know, without a doubt, your partner’s HIV status. Would you ask them to take the test and share the results with you or would you continue to trust their word and forgo the test?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 10/25/05

No Park-ing
Rosa Parks is a name that will live in history as the spark that began the fire that was the civil rights movement. By refusing to give up her seat on a bus almost 50 years ago, she rallied others to the quest for equality. Last night, Parks, 92, died at her home in Detroit. "At the time I was arrested I had no idea it would turn into this," she said 30 years later. "It was just a day like any other day. The only thing that made it significant was that the masses of the people joined in." Her struggle for equality lives on.

Freddy’s New Nightmare
The controversial Baptist minister, Fred Phelps, who set up the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas didn’t know a reporter was in his midst when he mentioned that he was “thankful” the London bombings and hurricane Rita killed so many Brits and Americans because both countries tolerate homosexuals and homosexuality. The Sky Report investigation in London includes secret filming of Phelps spewing his hate from within his Topeka compound. His church presently has approximately 150 followers – many of whom visit the funerals of American soldiers killed in Iraq waving banners that read, “Thank God 9/11” and AIDS Cures Fags.”

Boobs Weighing You Down
Ladies, ladies, ladies… yes, it sounds really HOT to tell a guy how top heavy you are, but the truth of the matter is, your breasts are not the total mass of what’s weighing you down up-top. An A-cup can weigh up to a ¼ pound, while a B-cup weighs half a pound. Working with a D-cup? Well, those babies are about a pound a piece. While in your 20s your boobs consist of primarily fat, milk glands and collagen. This explains why those girls sit up when you’re young. Unfortunately, as you age the collagen – which helps breasts hold their firmness – is replaced by fat tissue, which weighs them down. The added weight sends those puppies south of the border. To help give the illusion of perky ta-tas, try an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder with under wire.

On Blast
Plowing away at warp speed during sex is not necessarily the way to keep your intercourse interesting. While some folks vary between oral sex and penetration our question today focuses on the “what ifs” of life. If you had to choose only ONE style of sexual interaction for the remainder of your life, what would it be? (Oral, physical penetration, the use of outside toys & gadgets, etc.) Why?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, October 24, 2005

Morning Edition - 10/24/05

The Sunshine State Now The Hurricane State?
Wilma officially struck Florida this morning, making it the 12th hurricane to hit US shores this year. Winds were said to be in the 125 mph range. Hundreds of thousands of folks in the Key West and Miami area are said to be without power and already one death in Florida is being blamed on the storm. Forecasters say Wilma is now a category 3 hurricane.

Putting PMS To Rest
A study in the Obstetrics and Gynecology journal reported that diet plays a vital role in reducing the mood wings, bloating, breast tenderness and blemishes that occur right before menstruation. Apparently the reason behind these uncomfortable symptoms is an imbalance in your body’s hormones; there is too much estrogen compared to the progesterone in the system. It is now believed that by eating a low-fat, vegetarian diet that includes legumes and whole grains you can increase the sex hormone-binding globulin in the blood which will keep hormones in check. At the very least women are encouraged to eat more vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds – easy on the nuts though…. Just kidding.

Karate Chop To the Population
Dai Zhicheng, director of the Chinese Health Ministry’s Committee of AIDS Experts says China can reach an estimated 10 million AIDS cases if the disease is not seriously addressed in the near future. China has a population of 1.3 billion. China officially says it presently has 840,000 HIV/AIDS cases, but insiders say the number is grossly underestimated. China is now pouring millions of dollars into campaigns to inform the public, but the difficulty in finding work in the country have led to an increase in drug abuse and prostitution.

Cruising and the Down Low
As discussed in earlier blog posts, the Down Low is NOT a new thing; although many in the media would have you believe it is. What is amazing is the number of arrests that have taken place recently in what’s known as “cruising” in public places. That is, some down low men will gather in public bathrooms, gym locker rooms, even train station waiting areas to meet other men. Police even reported one man as specifically asking, “How long will I be detained? I have to pick up my daughter from school.” Cruising, like the down low, is not a new occurrence, but the increased arrests and the ever-more-clever gathering places begs the question – Is it easier to just come clean with your interests?

Long Story Short
Carmen C. held a banging gathering at her home Saturday. A small group of us – well, not so small when you consider Carmen was dishing out some pretty flavorful treats – gathered at her home just outside the city limits here in NYC. The mouth-watering teasers included everything from a hardy cheese dip to caramelized scallops. The grade-A chef even threw-down some pernil, pastelillos and even a personalized candle to take home while you luxuriate and massage your full stomach. Carmen also showed off her trick pelvis while breaking down some light-footed salsa moves. All-in-all, the festivities were a HUGE success. Thanks for the invite Carmen! James, oh James!?! Thanks for closing out my Saturday night with a BANG. By the way, my lower back is blown-out and it’s taking me a few minutes to stabilize myself before standing – hope that wasn’t your goal. …wink, wink. Frankie H.’s funeral arrangements are still in the works and a Friday service date is expected – I’ll keep folks posted. Late tonight and tomorrow there will be reruns of the first episode of Noah’s Arc on the Logo Channel – please check your local listings. The second episode of NA will air on Wednesday night. A few invites have been sent to me for Halloween – J’Moo are you joining me for anything this year?!

On Blast
How long is too long? This weekend I came across two beautiful ladies who hadn’t been in a serious relationship in years. How long is too long? Can waiting for the perfect man lead to a waste of prime dating years? What can they do to attract the right kind of man?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Friday, October 21, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 10/21/05

Insecure About Security
Frank Ulerio, a 23-year old screener for the Transportation Security Administration at John F. Kennedy Airport in New York City, helped himself to $80,000 while he inspected a passenger’s bag on October 7. The passenger was headed from NYC to Pakistan and noticed the cash missing when his flight landed. Now Ulerio faces up to 15 years in prison for grand larceny and possession of stolen property. When he was arrested on the job this Wednesday, Ulerio was carrying $18,000 in cash; although he has admitted to authorities he only stole $60,000.

Doggie Style
The neighbors of Ubaldo Vasquez Huizar, 39, were disgusted to see him sleeping nude in the dog house, but were even more disturbed when they witnessed him sexually assaulting the family dog, Mayra the Rottweiler. When detectives visited Huizar to inform him that he needed to register as a sex offender for a previous offense – Huizar was charged for exposing himself to an 11-year old girl – they were told of Huizar’s assault on the dog. Now Huizar is being charged with two counts of sexual assault on an animal. He also has a $10,000 outstanding drug warrant – go figure! Huizar was booked at the West Valley Detention Center in California. Other neighbors reported seeing Huizar dancing in his yard wearing a woman’s bra and panties prior to this incident.

Gayducation
The University of Iowa is adding a new course to the classes offered in January – Introduction to Queer Studies. Developed by Dr. Warren Blumenfeld and Kathy Hickok the course will explore issues like announcing your gay and coming out. Other universities presently have queer studies as a major and the University of Iowa hopes to build the queer curriculum to also include a queer major. The school already offers Global Queer Cinema as a course.

Long Story Short
Frankie H. is dead. Doctors at North General Hospital say Frankie died at approximately 2 a.m. yesterday of liver and kidney failure. The memorial service has not been announced. Tonight (well, tomorrow morning) at 1 a.m., Logo will re-run the first episode of Noah’s Arc. It’s worth watching folks, so please take a peek. I want us to really discuss the series as it progresses. Who’s that boy? A curious interaction has taken place of late. An odd flirting ritual led to a fellow male rider finally speaking this morning. We spent about 10 minutes smiling and chatting-it-up before I dashed-in to the office, my heart racing a mile a minute. What’s with the butterflies? My aunt Hena is out of the hospital and is recovering at home after suffering a massive stroke over a week ago. She is in a wheelchair and presently has one side paralyzed. My Life As A Man…. That’s what I’ve chosen to name my first novel. I will begin the framework this weekend. The novel will include pieces (ideas) from the G in E Flat short story and the basic storyline behind my failed One Bad Apple attempt last year. Keep your fingers crossed.

On Blast
The vagina is supposed to be a thing of beauty – okay, give me a minute to keep my lunch down here – outside of cleanliness, is there any reason to trim hair in that region? Do men and lesbians really prefer a bare or manicured vagina? Women: Do you feel sexier in a natural state or with your coochie manicured?

Keep passin’ the open windows…