Friday, December 30, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/30/05

Happy New Year!!

It’s A Wrap
Incredibly, 2005 zipped by, but not before it made some major changes to our lives and environment. From the tsunami aftermath to Katrina, we saw plenty of natural disasters – some even on home turf and although it was sad to see the devastation, it was also refreshing to see that folks can still come together to help each other. We’ll also be leaving some folks we really cared about behind in 2005 – Debbie Lavonne Fulton, Frankie, Andres and Isabela, just to name a few. In addition some folks who were like family also passed-on, such as Luther Vandross, Richard Pryor and Ann Bancroft who left a permanent mark in our souls through their art. Of course 2005 had it’s incredibly beautiful moments – like the birth of Daylen, the BBC’s trip to DC in July and yes, even my foray into the “serious” dating scene. All in all, those of us lucky enough to be reading this today recognize that storms bring about life-altering changes – sometimes necessary changes; relationships teach us as much about ourselves as they do about someone else; and that no problem is as permanent as a solution. We’ve LIVED an incredible year. Let’s use the final hours of this year to review what we did well, what sucked and what we’re striving for in 2006. No, you probably won’t keep to all your new year’s resolutions, but you sure as heck can add those important references you’ve developed to that resume – including your life resume. Now, let’s take a deep breath, smile at the prospect of another chance and step into 2006! Happy New Year!!

Carry the 1
It’s that time of the year again…that’s right, that period when it seems many of my close family and friends were born! So, let’s do a quick run-down…if I miss anyone, please excuse me as I think I either have early Alzheimer Disease or dementia setting in…
Nesie aka Cola: TODAY!
Clent J. and Jason H. : Monday, January 3
Annette R. aka Freaking Rican: Friday, January 6
John B.: Sunday January 8
Mom: Sunday, January 15
Violet: Wednesday, January 18
Please feel free to do birthday shout-outs in our “Comments” area.

Reminder: Ski Trip; Friday March 3 through Sunday March 5
The ski trip weekend in Gettysburg, PA is still on and jumping! There’s still time to sign-up for a weekend that promises to be relaxing and invigorating. Boasting all you can eat breakfast and dinner meals; premium open bar on Friday, Saturday and Sunday; pools, arcades and three amazing parties – starting with the silk, satin or lace PJ party on Friday; the “Wear-what-you-dare party on Saturday; and the pool party and karaoke club party on Sunday. The mixture of drinks, fireplaces, and silk are sure to make for an incredible weekend. Please feel free to either hit me up directly or voice your interest in the “Comments” area.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/29/05

Shake It Off
Even with Mary J. Blige’s best CD sales week of her career (727,000 copies of Breakthrough in one week) she could not top the success of Mariah Carey in 2005. Carey has the number one selling CD of 2005 with the Emancipation of Mimi. The chart-topper sold more than 4.87 million units this year – even beating out runner-up 50 Cent, who sold 4.83 million units of his sophomore CD, Massacre. EMI, who bought-out Mariah Carey’s $80 million contract in 2002 for a hefty $30 million, must be licking their wounds at the announcement of her record-breaking year.

Speaking Your Mind – To Yourself?
A study showed that many dreams can be easily interpreted and have been linked to repressed areas of your personality. For example, a recent dream where I murdered a friend was interpreted as my “id” or animal instinct translating aggression that could not be expressed in daily life through my dreams. Now, had I dreamed of killing a stranger the dream meaning would have been interpreted slightly different to reflect my own need to kill-off a facet of my personality that I feel is embarrassing, self-destructive or shameful to me. The list of possible dreams and interpretations is, of course, endless. As it turns out some of our dreams are not as monstrous or horrific as we think, they’re simply a way of speaking your unconscious mind.

Under-under Age Drinking
Juan Reyes was baby sitting a two year old and a three year old child for his housemates who were off birthing baby number three, when police investigators, tipped by neighbors, woke Reyes from his alcohol-induced sleep. Reyes was tested and found to be drunk, but more surprisingly the 2-year old in his care was given a blood alcohol test and was also intoxicated. Reyes now faces child endangerment charges.

Noah’s Arc; Season One DVD
Noah’s Arc finished its first season of eight episodes and is being touted as one of the most successful shows on cable today. The first season will be available for purchase on DVD before February 2006. This is a must-have. Insiders are predicting Season 2 will begin sometime in the spring. Stay tuned.

On Blast
Name one person/thing that you will leave in 2005 that you wish you could take into 2006?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/28/05

Dean’s List
The Lord does not close a door without opening a window OR once a hooker, always a hooker; you decide. Last night I dashed out of the office around five and rode the train home listening to Chante Moore’s Love Supreme. Somehow between moments of open-mouthed stupor and deep meditation, I opened my eyes to see a pretty, grey-eyed stranger who was transfixed on my lips. I uncomfortably closed my mouth and chewed my gum more vigorously than necessary to convey the illusion that I was in fact, awake and was just concentrating on my musical selection. When the train reached my stop, I jumped from my seat and exited the train, the staring-stranger trailing behind me. I exited the station and began walking toward my car and turned to see the same gentleman, a smile now exposing his pearly whites as he finally blurted, “Hey cutie.” I was a bit surprised that a man would take such an enormous risk as to call another man a “cutie” and slightly offended that I was so “spookable” that he didn’t feel the slightest threat that I would dislocate his jaw. Resigning myself to accept a compliment and enjoy the attention of this attractive newcomer, I said, “Hello.” I could feel myself blushing. I slowed down and allowed him to catch-up. When he reached my side he asked, “So, you’re rushing home to your wife?” We both laughed as I responded, “Uh, no… she left me.” “Does this mean you’re rushing home to the Mrs.?” I asked, a giggle escaping with the question. We both stopped walking as he responded, “No, I’m a single couch potato.” He asked if I wanted to hang-out sometime. His question came as I reached my car, so rather than give a definitive answer, I pulled a business card from my wallet and said, “Please don’t be a psycho…this is my business card. Call me at the cell number and we’ll talk.” He smiled and began to ask, “Should I call when I ….” His voice trailed-off as I opened my car door and smiled while saying, “I like a man who’s pressed, so call soon.” I pushed my bag into the passenger seat, started my car and squealed out of my parking spot at top speed. I winked and smiled as I passed him. When he called last night I asked what his name was and he said, “Dean.” As we tentatively set a date for this week and were ready to hang up, I said, “So, am I on the Dean’s list?” He chose just the right thing to say…“Nah, that would mean the honor was yours and on the real, the honor is all mine.” I chuckled and said, “Sounds like you’re getting-off to a good start.”

“Me” Fix in 2006?
Yesterday’s On Blast exposed that the overwhelming majority of you intended to seek some form of self-fulfillment and satisfaction over any and everyone else for 2006. The consensus appears to be self-focus, self-care, self-promotion, and self-gratification – basically, many of you said you wanted to turn your now, self-less selves into selfish selves. Hmmm…. I don’t know how true this will be, but I don’t think this is the solution you seek OR the message you are really trying to convey. In 2005 you gave of yourself and might not realize how that giving positively affected many of the folks around you. Sometimes the lack of immediate recognition or gratification can leave us feeling unappreciated. The truth is, we don’t always know the impact our positive and selfless actions have on others. Don’t change a good heart into a cold crevice. Instead, seek to understand that all actions have a reaction. Yes, we’re back to the KARMA concept. What goes around comes around – especially the good. Focus on giving and sharing of yourself without expecting anything in return. Ultimately, life works in a full circle and your kindness will be rewarded and returned – not necessarily by the person to whom you were kind. So in 2006 go ahead and “do you” but be sure to continue to give “of you” as this is will bring you the greatest return in the end.

Oops, Where Are They?
Marriott Vacation Club International, the time-share club of Marriott International is baffled by the disappearance of credit card and social security information belonging to 206,000 of their customers and employees. The tapes containing the information have been missing from the company’s Orlando, Florida headquarters and the secret service has been notified. Letters began going out to customers last Saturday. Stephen P. Weisz, president of Marriot Vacation Club International said, “We regret this situation has occurred and realize this may cause concern for our associates and customers.” Both customers and associates of the firm are asked to monitor their credit history information closely in the coming months.

On Blast
Last night as I closely watched the entire first season of Noah’s Arc on Logo, Ricky (the character noted for being promiscuous) mentioned that monogamy was not intended for men and that men were not capable of strict monogamy. Do you believe that men are predisposed to cheat and sow their “wild” oats, while women are “nesters” or is this just a cock-and-bull story generated by men who want to justify their promiscuous ways?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/27/05

When Cocoa Got His Cuz Back
Nancy Robles, missing for over one full week, returned home Saturday night after a hospital stay. Robles’ daughter, Crystal, called and informed me that she had returned – unharmed – Saturday night. Needless to say, I was at Nancy’s doorstep Christmas morning to pick her up. I can fuss, fight and argue, but the truth is, I’m just glad she’s okay. We spent the weekend together and laughed, partied and enjoyed some much needed family time. Welcome home Nancy.

The Parent Trap
My parents arrived safely at JFK airport in NYC this weekend. The pair, equipped with two large and may I say, extremely heavy pieces of luggage, rambled out of the baggage claim area looking like two small children looking for their nanny. Mom is still burning the midnight oil and has not gone to bed earlier than 2 a.m. – even with my overt Ambien offerings. My dad, who now hears nothing, unless it resembles the engines of a 747 landing in my living room, now makes 4 a.m. his wake-up hour. Thank you for the Percocet prescription Dr. Feelgood. No folks, these narcotics are not being offered to my parents. I’ve instead opted to take two Percs along with one Ambien to ease my own pain and ignore the antics of the dynamic duo. Just before leaving for work I caught my mother thumbing through my porn collection that I hid in two trash bags and far in the back of an unused closet. Suffice to say, both my parents were admonished to stay away from this closet as it had private things in it. Instead of dropping my Copsuckers VHS tape securely in her hand, my mom simply looked back and said, “You don’t really think this guy’s a cop, do you?” I was shocked, horrified and was called “dramatic” for snatching the tape out of her hand, tossing it back in the closet and slamming the door shut. This tape ordeal comes on the heels of Saturday night’s fiasco that included me putting them to bed and thinking I was going to enjoy a marathon session of Noah’s Arc (the Logo program) only to find my mom got out of bed and was waiting for me on my couch (bed, now that they’re in town) while I was on a bathroom break. “That boy is a real puto,” she exclaimed when I returned and found she was admiring Ricky having sex in his store room. I raced to change the channel and she said, “Turn it back, I like it and while you’re up why don’t you make some coffee and I’ll watch this with you.” Not only did my private Noah’s-Arc time go down the tubes, but I spent the evening doing the unthinkable – discussing my favorite gay show with my mom! What’s worse is that she even pointed out Wade and said, “He’s your favorite isn’t he? He looks like you’re type!” Oh my God! How does my mom even think she knows my type?! Crazy thing is – she’s right!! We don’t even discuss my being gay for Christ’s sake!! My parents requested I pick them up from my brother’s house this evening when I get home from the office. Carl, hold on to something.

On Blast
New Year’s resolutions are over-rated and often disregarded after February 1. What one New Year’s resolution do you intend to make and keep for 2006? What will you do to insure it is a priority?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Friday, December 23, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/23/05


Three Strikes and You’re In?!
Three days after NYC transit workers walked off the job, leaving over seven million riders stranded, they chose to return to work today. The 35,000 employees of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) are trapped between their employer (the MTA) and their union, the Transit Workers Union (TWU). Last night, after hefty fines had been imposed on the union by a judge, union officials ordered the transit workers back to their posts. No contract has been finalized and it is rumored that the employees will now have the three days of fines and penalties worked into their new contracts. Somehow, it doesn’t seem the workers will get a fair shake at things. Of course, your friendly neighborhood editor was unable to come to work those three days, instead opting to power-shop, party and enjoy three free vacation days.

Without a Trace
Last night I received a disturbing telephone call from one of my cousin’s children. It seems my cousin, Nancy Robles, has vanished without a trace and has not been seen or heard from in over a week! Robles lives with her daughter in the south Bronx section of New York City and was last seen Thursday morning, December 15. Her daughter Crystal, alleges my cousin had been feeling ill that morning and that she asked Nancy to lie down until she felt better. Crystal says that upon returning from work that Thursday night, she found Nancy was gone, but she left her cell phone behind – a suspicious clue, since Nancy never leaves home without it. She has never been gone from her home without contacting a family member. Please pray for her speedy and safe return. I will update everyone in the coming days.
Description: Nancy Robles is approximately 5’4”, 165lbs, light-brown skinned, short blonde curls.

Not Joining Us in 2006
Both Isabela Maldonado and Andres Cruz – my aunt and uncle respectively – made this week their final week to grace us in life. Maldonado died last Tuesday of complications attributed to a heart condition while Cruz died of kidney failure on Wednesday. Maldonado was buried Wednesday and Cruz will be laid to rest today. Both lived and will be interned in Puerto Rico.

So, Uh…Yeah, Merry Christmas
It’s been a trying next-to-last week in 2005. Come to think of it, the last couple of weeks have been a bit on the morbid side. Whether it was the early frost that withered a blossoming relationship, the disappearance of a loved one or the death of two pillars of my family, it seems the end-of-year drama has been relentless. Strangely, I’ve been blessed with a composed peace this week. I am in great spirits and accept that nothing is happening that isn’t in my plan. Most important, I want to wish each of YOU, my blog family, a very MERRY CHRISTMAS! You have been my greatest gift this year. My blog family has provided me an outlet to sharpen my writing skills and also receive a plethora of opinions and viewpoints I would not have the benefit of otherwise. My best to everyone this holiday season.

On Blast
Is love felt in the heart or does it actually reside in the mind? If true love is defined as “To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person). To have a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward (a person). To have an intense emotional attachment to” aren’t these feelings and emotions experienced by the mind and not the heart? Explain your view.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, December 19, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/19/05

Know When To Fold Them
Last Monday’s announcement that the romance between T and I had fizzled into oblivion left many bewildered – admittedly, even me. It seems that after an explosive and passionate two months, T and I have retreated to our corners and let bygones be bygones. The odd thing about this whole fiasco is that so many of you have contacted me personally to express your sheer disappointment in how abruptly, what seemed like a love made in heaven, had been sent straight into the depths of hell. Thank you all for your words of support. I know they are heartfelt. I sincerely hope I haven’t come across as uncaring, cold or distant, but here are the facts that helped me put this situation into perspective and make an intelligent decision for investing more time and effort into T:

1. The first six months of any relationship is the honeymoon period. Any/all minor issues should be resolved with little-to-no effort. Major fall-outs during this period should serve as a red flag of future drama and heartache.
2. True love never dies. I’ve proven this little fact, time and again. I may hate the behavior in some of my previous partners, but I sincerely love them – even today. It takes a lot to wear love down and even more to destroy it. If someone is able to drop a relationship without a second thought, it probably wasn’t that important – yes, that even goes for me.
3. Square peg in a circle hole theory. Sometimes we try to force things to work and prevent the normal progression of what is in your life plan. The Lord, Karma, common sense – you name it! – will sometimes help you avert a potentially bad situation. By forcing a relationship that is meeting its natural end, you may very well be setting yourself up for disaster. Understand that everyone is placed in your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime and stop forcing your “reason” players to be “lifetime” headaches.

So this weekend I hung-out with friends and realized that T’s “reason” was simple – to remind me that it’s important for me to love life and be open to all it has to offer. Sunday morning, as I glanced across the table at the beautiful almond eyes of the half-Asian, half African-American guest who joined me for breakfast, I smiled and thought to myself, that every end has a new beginning.

Six Days and Counting

In just six short days Santa will squeeze his way through my radiator and attempt to deposit gifts under my tree. Luckily for him, my slumlord sister doesn’t provide much in terms of heat, so his passage is completely clear. Ever the procrastinator, I have again waited until hours before the actual day hits before making my gift purchases – J’Moo, want to try power-shopping with me this Christmas? I promise I won’t have another anxiety attack.

Clear the Area! They’re coming! Hold on to something!
Mom and Dad Cruz are coming! That’s right, #1 and #2 will be landing in NYC on the afternoon of Christmas Day and will stay clear through to the second of January. I’m, uh… excited? No, no… wait… ELATED, that they will be again staying with me for the holiday. Dr. Feelgood has agreed to see me on the 22nd of the month to upgrade and increase my prescriptions. Please stand by.

On Blast
What gift would you give the first love of your life that would instantly let them know the gift was from you?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/14/05

The Queen and I
While weathering arctic winds that had my testicles nestled warmly within my abdomen, J’Moo and I made our way to The Actor’s Studio last night – the Bravo network’s taping of celebrity guests featuring host James Lipton. Last night’s guest, Queen Latifah aka Dana Owens, was astoundingly beautiful and down-to-earth. She explained how her determination, great friends and pure luck have made her an A-list celebrity. The Newark, NJ-born Latifah detailed the course of her career and even showed clips of an upcoming film she is starring in with LL Cool J. J’Moo, I don’t forgive you for acting as though you were knitting while the Queen was giving a slightly drawn-out story of how her entertainment company was formed. I laughed so hard I thought we would be asked to leave. All-in-all, this was an unforgettable introduction.

Problem Child Solved?
The Gerber family of Dunedin, Florida has filed a criminal complaint against their five-year old son’s school bus driver and the bus attendant for allegedly duct-taping his mouth shut while driving the tike home. "It hurt when you take it off, and when you put it on you, it's a little bit sticky," said Kyle Gerber. The driver and monitor have been taken off the route while an investigation takes place.

NYC Transit May Have Us Take A Walk
Beginning Friday at 12:01 a.m., NYC Transit workers may strike after conflicts in contract negotiations have held both sides in their corners and ready to take action. The Metropolitan Transit Authority has offered workers a six percent raise, but union officials demanded an eight percent raise. If a strike occurs New Yorkers may be forced to use cab service and personal vehicles to replace the oldest and largest transportation system in the country. NYC Mayor, Michael Bloomberg has already suggested some stringent rules would go into effect if a strike occurs – including HOV restrictions that will require four occupants to each car driving into the city limits. The strike would cost the city an estimate $200 million per day in lost economic activity and productivity.

La Nena Vieja?
Yolanda M. aka Krissy is celebrating a birthday today. The sensitive Sagittarius is juggling ideas for names for her new family gym business idea. A black-belt in karate that can break boards and still break hearts, Yo-Yo is one of the warmest additions to the Morning Edition family. Happy Birthday Baby! You look super and may you have many, many more!

Noah’s Arc; Tonight at 10 on LOGO; Season Finale
Tonight’s episode of Noah’s Arc is the season finale of what has become my favorite show this year. Wade’s inability to proudly shout his love for Noah from the rooftops may make Noah stray into another’s arms. Ricky struggles to get over Junito – his first foray into the “love” scene. Chance and Eddie tie the knot – or do they? Alex pushes Trey, but will he push him right out the door? If you’ve fallen behind, please check-out last week’s episode beginning at 9:30 p.m.

On Blast
Krissy is taking a stab at starting a new family-oriented gym that focuses on fitness for parents and children together. That is, family fitness with a “quality time” twist. It’s brainstorming time! What two (2) name suggestions would you give for a business with this focus?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, December 12, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 12/12/05

Pushing For a Dead-End Job
The Funeral Directors Association is hoping you or your youngster will consider a career dealing with the dead. It is estimated that with the rising deaths in the baby boomer generation there will be a shortage of funeral directors, making recruitment an utmost priority. Now funeral directors across the country are joining other professionals visiting area high schools on career day to encourage youngsters to make the cut.

If You Love Someone, Set Them Free
In the vein of the cock-and-bull line of “If you love someone set them free, if they return they’re yours and if they don’t they never were” I’ve set T free – or wait, did he storm out of my apartment like someone set a match to his balls at 11:30 last night?! In either case, temperaments flared and I’m not the one to toil with, so I didn’t exactly get out of bed to chase him up a NYC block. All said, we had an argument – in the nude, no less – that ended with chicken necking, a few expletives and T taking his toys and leaving my play pen. Will he return? Is it over? Your guess is as good as mine. Unfortunately, when you reach my age dating takes a different twist and the only question I have is – hey T, are you still going skiing with me or should I book another partner in your place?

Long Story Short
Tomorrow I will be joining J’Moo at the filming of Inside the Actor’s Studio featuring my girl, Queen Latifah. Inside the Actor’s Studio normally airs on the Bravo channel – I don’t have an air date for this particular episode. Noah’s Arc is airing their season finale this Wednesday at 10. I don’t know what I’m going to do without my boys! If you missed last week’s episode you can catch it tonight at 10:30 on the LOGO channel. Sunday, December 18, a group of us will trek up to Woodbury Common to do some last-minute holiday shopping. These outlets brought me luck last year when I stocked-up on gifts for most of my family and friends. Tattoo Saturday? Well, just maybe. This Saturday a tattoo artist will give me an assessment – of both pain and price – to plaster the Puerto Rican flag on my right arm. The lovely waving banner will be framed by the script name, “Cocoa Rican.” If I can deal with this kind-of pain I’ll settle in for a nipple piercing before summer. Carmen C. had another FAB-U festivity last Saturday. The Martha Stewart-esque Carmen had a holiday appointed home with assorted tasty treats for all. New crowd, new convo, all fun! Thanks Carmen.

On Blast
If my aunt had balls would she be my uncle or would she be my aunt with a little extra? If the glass is half full, should I be wondering who drank the other half? If one bird in the hand beats two in the bush, why the heck are we looking behind the darn bush? What idiot came up with “Careful what you ask for because you just might get it?” Did they have no concept of what to ask for? Somebody hit me back and keep it light – PLEASE!

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/8/05

Noah’s Arc; Update
With only one episode left this season – short season, huh?! – Noah’s Arc is shaping up to be an interesting series with as many issues as some of its more well-developed straight sitcom predecessors. A girlfriend of mine called up yesterday to announce she believed Noah’s Arc reminded her of a gay Sex and the City. Last night Ricky reverted to his selfish ways as he attempted to dispose of HOT doctor new-comer and piece-of-eye-candy, Junito. The scene was a reminder that discrimination and ignorance regarding HIV+ people is still alive and well – even in the gay subculture. Alex is blindly abusing Trey’s time. Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to recognize that your partner is not at your beck-and-call simply because you’re in a relationship. Chance and Keith will be tying the knot – but not in Chance’s childhood church. Both have opted to hold their ceremony where their vows will be celebrated, rather than tolerated. Finally, Wade has taken a HUGE step forward in asking Noah, whom he has been rooming with temporarily, to make the shared living arrangement permanent. Noah appears apprehensive about the idea – somebody please slap this queen to the ground! For the record Wade, I’ll press your t-shirts any day!! Next Wednesday is the final episode of season one – and there had better be a season two or LOGO will be getting a serious letter and petition from moi’! Look for the BIG Chance and Keith wedding day with some shocking cast surprises.

J’Moo better; Meets Noah’s Cast
Resident blogger J’Moo aka Clent J., is out of the hospital after a bout with diverticulitis. Immediately following his discharge from Mt. Sinai hospital, J’Moo joined his ex and hairdresser to the celebrities, Oscar at NYC Mayor Bloomberg’s table for the G-MAN Annual Awards festivities. While at the awards J’Moo rubbed shoulders with the cast of Noah’s Arc – well, minus characters Trey and Eddie -which strengthens my belief that both actors might very well be straight in real life.

Brokeback Mountain; Begins Friday, December 9
Brokeback Mountain, directed by Ang Lee, opens in selected theaters this Friday, December 9. It is being touted as “the most poignant love story.” Straight actors Jake Gyllenhaal (as Jack Twist) and Heath Ledger (as Ennis Del Mar) play gay cowboys who deny their love for each other and forge on with straight lives – including wives and children. Does true love win in the end or does the need to conform to society establish itself as the glue to keep relationships together? Based on the Annie Proulx story about a secret – and extremely forbidden – relationship, the story shows two cowboys and their lives over a course of many years. This movie is not about gays and acceptance; it’s about true love and the desperate need to have it survive. Please let me know if you’d like to join T and me to catch a Sunday matinee of this flick. Bring a tissue box.

Real Thirsty; Real Stupid
Police officer Ronald Dupuis of Michigan was riding shotgun with partner Prema Graham when he demanded she pull the patrol car over so that he could buy a soft drink. When she refused, Dupuis pulled his taser gun and shocked Graham in the leg. She was not seriously injured, but Dupuis was fired and charged with assault. He may serve up to three months in jail.

Today we are skipping our On Blast column and instead publishing our first EVER, Manners Moron, piece. This is where I share manner items that we can all address to live more peaceful – and sometimes more productive – lives. Today’s point of contention – Address the question; save the wit. When someone asks you a question that a “yes” or “no” answer will answer, DO NOT attempt to add wit or sarcasm by elaborating or going into a “What do you think….” or “I thought we discussed….” It is much easier and word efficient to simply answer “yes” or “no.” Let’s cut the unnecessary sarcasm with friends, family and others by sticking to answering the question asked, first. If the person making the inquiry chooses to have you elaborate, then you may ZAP their azz. Until then, save the sarcasm, answer the question at hand and realize that sometimes you make matters much worse by expanding unnecessarily.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, December 05, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/5/05

Let It Snow
The weather service is predicting our first big snowstorm beginning today. The Washington DC area will see the snow begin at noon, while we in the BIG Apple aren’t due to get any flakes until this evening. West Virginia and Virginia are expected to be blanketed by 6-12 inches by the end of the whole mess. The pessimistic reports are predicting a whopping 16 inches for that region.

It’s Hard; Don’t Rub It; You’ll Be Prosecuted
Yvan Salman was a 19th century journalist who is said to have been killed by Napoleon’s nephew during a duel. Apparently Salman was a real ladies man who was due to be married the day after he was killed. Parisians erected (and I use the word loosely) a statue of Salman entitled Victor Noir. Apparently the Noir has been vandalized by female visitors who have taken to rubbing the statute for good luck. The tale being that if you rub the statue and leave a flower you will be married by year’s end. The statue shows Noir lying flat on his back with his pee-pee large and slightly erect. New signs (and a fence) now warn that “Any damage caused by graffiti or indecent rubbing will be prosecuted.”

Oh Christmas Tree!
Yesterday evening, T and I took to the streets of NYC to do the tourist “thing.” Armed with contrasting tan and black outfits that included parkas, hats, gloves, scarves and frozen smiles to boot, we joined the hundreds of folks taking-in this year’s Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, along with the elaborate windows at Saks Fifth Avenue. The bitter temperatures provided the rosy cheek smiles T and I shared as the lights bounced off our eyes; we were like kids when we joined-in on the “Let it snow…” carol that bellowed in the background. Finally, with Starbucks’ coffees in hand, we boarded the train and settled-in for a quiet, romantic dinner at the Caliente Cab Company in the West Village. The HOT Mexican fare led us to our next stop at the Pleasure Chest where T and I bought surprise “preview” Christmas toys for each other to enjoy before bedtime. Note to self: Edible underclothes are a second dessert when counting calories.

On Blast
T and I enjoy a healthy bout of role play to enhance and enrich our sexual interactions. There appears to be a great deal of fun in having your partner be anything or anyone you want them to be. What one character role would you have your partner play to heighten your sexual experience? Share a brief summary of what the encounter would entail.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Friday, December 02, 2005

Evening Edition - 12/2/05

Two Eggs and A Coach Bag
Donya W., has a shopping trip to Tanger Outlet in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware on December 17. The cost is $30. and they’re throwing in a continental breakfast to boot. The bus leaves at 9:00 a.m. from Forestville Mall in Forestville, Maryland and returns at 9:00 p.m. To reserve a seat simply e-mail Donya at To visit the Tanger Outlet webpage just go to

Complete details are also located at

Happy shopping y’all!

J’Moo Still Hospitalized; Prayers Please
Resident blogger J’Moo aka Clent J. is still hospitalized at Mt. Sinai hospital in NYC. Although I don’t have full details yet, the ailment appears to include severe abdominal pains that might require surgery. Please join me in dropping the knees tonight for his quick recovery.

Noah’s Arc; Catch up tonight at 12:30 a.m.
Okay, so maybe it’s really considered tomorrow morning, but for those of us who stay up late on Friday’s it’s tonight…Noah’s Arc is airing the latest two episodes on Logo beginning at 12:30 a.m. Anyone who has been slacking off on this HOT new show should curl up to the HOT men of Noah’s Arc. Want to chat about it during commercials, then hit me up at my home number 718-239-3540 – well, assuming the action on the show hasn’t inspired some crazy activities that will keep my hands and mouth busy. …wink, wink.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Morning Edition - 12/2/05

10 Spot Makeover
The $10 bill is getting a complete makeover and will debut in retail outlets, banks and cash machines near you by March 2, 2006. Some areas may take longer to get the redesigned bill. Over 800 million copies of the bill will be printed. The $20 bill was revamped in 2003 and the $50 was refreshed in 2004. There are no plans to refurbish the $1, $2 and $5 bills. Ten dollar bills stay in circulation approximately three years, while the more active $1 bill only gets circulated about 22 months. Alexander Hamilton, our first US treasurer, will still grace the $10 bill. The new bill will include red, yellow and orange hues added to the money green.

Deadly Text Message; Did I do that?!
A Colorado teen faces up to a year in jail after being charged with a misdemeanor for careless driving. The 17-year old lost control of his vehicle and killed 63-year old Jim Price who was cycling near the road when he attempted to send a text message while driving. The charge carries a mandatory one year prison sentence. The teen has not been identified because he is a minor. The teen was issued a summons and ordered to appear in court.

It’s Your Opinion; That’s Cool
Ake Green was preaching to his congregation in Sweden two years ago when his sermon turned to gays and their role in society. Well, to quote from the reverend, his exact words were that homosexuality was “a deep cancerous tumor on all society.” Shortly thereafter he was charged with “hate speech.” He was recently acquitted and the Swedish Supreme Court ruled that Green is protected under the European freedom of expression. To Green’s credit, he has agreed to refrain from preaching against gays in the future. His sermon two years ago also included his belief that gays were more likely to rape children and animals.

Long Story Short
Jeanine H. officially left ABA and has started her career as Grassroots Coordinator at the American Public Power Association in DC. Congrats Jeanine. Carmen C. will be having one of her festive gatherings on Saturday, December 10. The effervescent Carmen plans light, but filling, appetizers and a host of tasty cocktails. T and I will be catching Rent, the movie version of the hugely-popular Broadway play, this weekend. Reviews to follow on Monday. Men on Film anyone? Evelyn M. is collecting the first installment for the March 3-5 Ski trip in Pennsylvania. The trip includes dancing, drinking, some serious card playing and – who knew?! – skiing! New Yorkers – or those visiting the Apple in March - are encouraged to attend. Please hit me up or let us know via the comments area if you’re interested in more info. Clent J. aka J’Moo is in the hospital after sudden abdominal cramps. I received a voicemail from him this morning saying he would update us by this afternoon with his condition. Our prayers are with you pumpkin!

On Blast
Not breaking the bank during the holiday season is important. Remember that giving a token gift during Christmas is okay, so long as it is thoughtful and creative. Birthdays are when you make it special with a REAL gift. What gift ideas under $20 do you have for close friends that still show you care and convey warmth? What gift(s) are just completely unacceptable?

Keep passin’ the open windows…