Saturday, July 26, 2008

Morning Edition - 7/26/08

The Sigh
Sighs (that deep inhale/exhale) are an unconscious reaction to the good, the bad and sometimes the stagnant feeling that a change is gonna come. Lately, I’ve had my share of sighs; all for very different reasons. Work has been really living up to its name and I rarely have a free moment. The instant I walk through the doors of the 9-to-5, my colleagues are like kids when dad comes home. I barely put my bag down when folks flock to ask questions, get updates and seek help. Encouraging in some ways, if you need to feel wanted and needed, but draining when you’re trying to stick to finishing-up items on your to-do list.

My relationship with BD continues to be on the up-and-up. No complaints, no changes, no downs – and no ups for that matter. We’re looking forward to our Disney family vacation for the Labor Day holiday. The good thing is BD and I have reached that point in our relationship where we know what makes the other tick. I still have minor issues with BD’s ability to tackle sitting down with the Minnie to talk about what the “us” entails – particularly that Cocoa is not daddy’s best friend, but life-partner. When we last spoke about the subject before the summer, BD agreed that he would wait until the Minnie was officially out for summer recess to meet this task head-on. Now, it’s damn-near August and the convo hasn’t happened. Have I put pressure to have BD take care of this? Hell no. I firmly believe that each stage of development – or lack thereof – has its own meaning. I appreciate what his fears may be, but hold fast to what my inner voice tells me. If the convo doesn’t happen by summer’s end, my confidence in the positive progression of our future is diminished. Simply put, the thought of having a child in the mix of my relationship is something that I have enough anxieties about without feeling secretive or closeted about it. Hey, I’ll cross the upcoming bridges when I get to them, but I think the ultimate sense is that I’m not fretting about what is not in my power to change. I’m always putting ME first which means that I’ll consistently evaluate my relationship and the direction it’s going in to assess whether its something that is a positive force in my life.

My 39th birthday is less than two weeks away and I’m sighing at the reality that this will be my last year in my thirties. Wow, time really flies. I may not feel 39, but I sure as hell look it. The toll of late nights, hard work and worry are visible on my face – an issue that I intend to remedy as a gift to myself when I turn 40 in ’09. Until then, it’s a matter of keeping the body healthy and bringing the face up to speed when we hit the big 4-0. I’m really not asking anyone for their blessing or permission on getting some “refreshments” done; I believe it’s a matter of personal choice.

August 17th I set sail for my 7-day cruise to Grand Cayman, Cazumel, Belize and Honduras. I’m excited about finally getting my RELAX on. I’m worn out and this will be my first disconnect from work, home and my relationship in two years! I’m hoping my gut cooperates and whittles down before my trip, but shit, I don’t really care. I do work out 4-5 days a week to keep in decent shape.

The BIGGEST sigh is from the realization that I’m finally ready to start the process of writing my book. I told myself that until I was ready I wasn’t going to give a fuck what anyone thought. Writing the book was going to be about me writing a semi-autobiographical account of my life in third-person. I say “semi” because it won’t all be me or all be true. There’s a sense that I want to keep my life semi-private and there are things that are a bit too painful or uncomfortable for me to ever truly uncover. By writing in a voice that keeps the reality of ME obscure protects my anonymity through the process. I’ll periodically let everyone know where I’m at. Suffice to say, I’m in no rush and believe that whether the book is “da bomb” or bombs, it will be the first time in my life that I’ve let go of it all…the good, the bad, the demons and the triumphs. So as I hit that last quarter of summer sigh, I’m pensive.

The great thing about this time in my life is that I know who I am and I feel truly fearless. ::::SIGH:::::

On Blast
What are you sighing about?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Friday, July 25, 2008

Morning Edition - 7/25/08

On Blast
Do you ever sit back and miss the times that you almost had?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Morning Edition - 7/22/08

Wendy Williams; Radio Talk Show Queen to TV Host Flop
Long known for bringing out the worst in her radio talk show guests, Wendy Williams has been given a six-week stint on Fox (select cities) to see if her far-fetched interviews – that often border on slander – can translate to TV. Unfortunately, I missed the first week of the show, but was sure to DVR Wendy’s second week attempt at daytime television. Her special guest yesterday was Omarosa – the fork-tongued, ice queen of Trump’s reality Apprentice series. Just before the stone-faced bitch was set to take the stage, Wendy announces that she’s going to “set her straight,” making a reference to the type of interview Omarosa was sure to expect. To Wendy Williams’ unprepared surprise, Omarosa was not going to be outdone by the 40-something hood rat that banked on sealing Omarosa up and sending her packing. Omarosa came out swinging; called Wendy to the carpet for playing nice with her TV guests while on the set, only to tear them a new one during her afternoon radio talk show – The Wendy Williams Experience. To Wendy’s horror she even alluded to Wendy appearing to have had a nose job and needing a wig that didn’t sit “three inches above her head.” The result was Omarosa scoring all the right points and sealing Wendy on her own show. Hey, I’m no fan of Omarosa, but I’ll be damned if she hit one out of the park for all the Whitney Houstons of the world who fell victim to the queen of double-talk and mean.
Moral of the story: It’s easier to catch your enemy unprepared, than to announce your plans to put them in their place before they hit the set.
Omarosa is one guest Wendy did not anticipate going word-for-word with. The judges all give Omarosa 10s across the board.

On Blast
Success in one medium (ie. TV or radio) do not translate to automatic FIRE in another medium. While Wendy may be an interesting radio personality she does not make a good TV talk show host.
What other journalist, artist, etc. has proven a success in their genre only to flop in another medium?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Morning Edition - 7/17/08

Life As I Know It
Looking back over the last year I can appreciate the many changes that have brought me to who I am today and how I’m living today. While I’d love more time and energy to post to my blog – my journal of sorts – I just don’t have the wherewithal to live my life and journal about it. There are evenings that I have just a few moments to read my favorite blogs – even if I can’t comment on them. The office has been an absolute madhouse and there’s a part of me that feels a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment to be the go-to guy on a plethora of projects. Oddly, the five weeks spent nursing a fractured rib forced me to focus on all things work. My usual lunchtime jaunts to the gym were cut out and returning last Monday to the treadmills and toning, only proved that five weeks away from all things physical can feel like a lifetime. With less than one month until my Caribbean cruise, I have some tightening to do. The good thing is that I’m less hard on myself with regard to my body. Coupled with the fact that I haven’t gained much weight during my down time, this back-to-the-future body reshaping may not be so bad. As for BD and I, I’m so satisfied – physically, emotionally and mentally – that I can only think that being still and communicating what your needs are will sometimes pay off. Today, BD and I are best friends, passionate lovers and fun-loving parents. During my parents two-week stay, my mom and I were able to honestly speak about BD and the Minnie and what I wanted for our future. Although my parent’s religious beliefs don’t allow them to cosign on our union, they are supportive and caring. In the coming weeks, I’m going to really try to post – I have plenty to say – and I’m definitely reading my blog family’s postings often. It’s shaping up to be a great summer and I hope everyone is taking the season and life by the horns. Ultimately, life as I know it is what I’ve made of it.

On Blast
What goal can you honestly say you’ll reach by summer’s end?

Keep passin’ the open window…

Monday, July 07, 2008

Morning Edition - 7/7/08

The Road To Hell Is Paved
With just three nights remaining before my parents return home to Puerto Rico, the only line that repeats in my head is, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” When we planned my parent’s trip to NYC, we agreed that 14 days was a long time for anyone – even my loving parents – to stay for a visit. We have a saying in Spanish that directly translated says, “Fish and company both stink after three days.” Whoever masterminded that word tooling apparently had parents exactly like mine. I love my parents and love having them to visit, but as one person trying to work a full time job, play entertainment coordinator, maid, driver and counselor to my aging parents for 14 days straight I am thoroughly worn, irritable and dagger-tongued. My mother, a relentless tyrant, refuses to understand why I would be exhausted by the end of each night. Last night, as we ate dinner she mentioned she would never visit NYC again since she, “was such a burden during her visit.” Rather than counter her guilt-inducing drone, I decided to meet it head-on. “You wouldn’t be a burden if you and dad would simply understand that I’m only one person trying to make your stay as comfortable as possible – by myself!” Rather than relent and see my dilemma she plowed forward with her ranting. “I’m just so sorry you’ve been so put-out and have been so inconvenienced by our stay.” By now, she managed to work herself into a good frenzy and was doing the heavy handed boo-hoo. My guilt was replaced by rage. “I’m really sorry that your stay was so horrific that you don’t want to return,” I chided, “Maybe you’re right…maybe it was a bad idea for me to think that I could single-handedly tackle cleaning, driving and catering to two people while trying to work AND be a pleasant social butterfly – on under five hours sleep per night.” Just as quickly as it started, there was silence. I returned to the kitchen to wash dinner dishes and she retreated to her corner for a wardrobe change before announcing that I would be driving her to see another family friend; then to see my brother and his family; and finally home to clean-up snack dishes; walk my dog; iron for work and shower for bed. Am I feeling guilty? Slightly. I should have had the forethought to realize that the extended stay would be a bad idea. The moral of the story is to follow the rules of engagement – regardless of who you’re dealing with:
Opt to stay at hotels when visiting out of town family and friends
If you’d like to make you’re family/friend stay an extended one, attempt to find several friends/family members to jump between to prevent exhausting any one person.
Recognize that no matter who you’re staying with, you are changing their routine and altering the normalcy of the home you’re staying in.
Respect the rules of the home you’re staying in, including: Level of cleanliness, bedtime hours and return furniture, etc. to where you originally find them.
Allow your host time to regroup, rest and collect themselves. Take trips out on your own and make plans to give your host time to have their home to themselves.
Hey, I’m sure some of you will think my take on my predicament is cold or unrealistic because I’m dealing with my parents. The truth is, everyone is different and handle situations differently. As someone who has lived alone most of my life, I’m less concerned with what anyone thinks and more interested in loving and missing my parent’s next visit. God willing, I’ll have an opportunity to make intelligent decisions about having my parents visit me for years to come.

On Blast
What has having extended-stay company taught you about yourself?

Keep passin’ the open windows…