Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Morning Edition - 6/28/06

2006 NYC Pride
Last weekend NYC celebrated Pride 2006. Personally, I celebrated 20 years of being an openly gay man of color. It’s an experience that has been liberating and at times, heartbreaking. Surrounded by close personal friends, we partied like the good ‘ole days and reminisced of a time when we were carefree. By Sunday, we had rallied over 15 of our closest friends to meet at New York’s West Village where the festivities were in high gear. In honor of the occasion – or maybe because I’m also celebrating my personal Body Beautiful for 2006 campaign – I wore an outfit that can only be described as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Just BAM! With camouflage hot shorts and matching muscle tank covering very little of my body, I gyrated to tunes from back in the day. Truth is, I haven’t had that much fun in quite a while and the self-conscious demons of yesteryear weren’t around to ruin the festivities. A special thank-you to Linda and Juanita for serving as my personal drivers for the evening and to Slugger and Bobby for serving as my security staff…at times, I was a bit overwhelmed by the groping hands that insisted that looking was just not enough. A welcome home to Tim… boy, this battle is not yours. Most of all (and here comes a religious moment) a special thank you to my Lord Jesus Christ, for allowing me to come through a period where so many didn’t make it through. I’m open to your will and purpose.

Taking Matters Into My Own Hands
In just over a month I’m celebrating my 37th birthday. It’s a time to take the bull by the horns and create the perfect birthday weekend by heading out to the beaches of Puerto Rico. My soul-wifey Marcia will be taking my birthday trip with me this year and I can’t think of a better person to bring in a new era with. The plan is to fly out Friday, August 4th and return Monday, August 7th. I’ll have pictures to share with the group in mid August.

DC…Can’t Get Enough
I’m thinking of visiting my home away from home again next month. If all goes as planned I should be coming down for a short weekend stint in mid July. I’ll keep my DC family posted. All those who missed out on getting together during my April visit are asked to make a special effort to squeeze me onto their busy calendars. Folks, let’s try to plan something to bring all the new additions – those growing babies – together. It is truly a blessing to have our children mingle now and create bonds early. It also makes the collective history of our crew live on more vividly.

On Blast
Women: Do you feel that the down-low phenomenon has affected the way you feel about openly gay men? Do you now create a clearer separation between your man and your gay friends?
Straight Men: Are you afraid to interact with gay men and be open-minded for fear of being pegged as a down-low man? Do you believe that all gay men want you?
Gay Men: Do you curb your behavior around straight men or become standoffish with straight men, to avoid being seen as flirtatious? Do you engage straight men as possible “playmates”?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Morning Edition - 6/22/06

Monogamy; Are Gays Incapable of It?
With the issue of gay marriage at the forefront of many political debates, it stands to reason we question the issue of commitment and monogamy in gay relationships. Statistics on the subject vary and studies show both sides of the coin; although the overwhelming majority shows that over 83% of gay couples cheat while in a monogamous relationship. One study even suggested that some long-term couples have adopted instances or rules where engaging in outside sexual activity is allowed – open relationships. Couples that had public ceremonies to announce their relationships faired better at remaining faithful to their relationships. The question remains, can gay couples remain completely monogamous or is this concept a dream deferred?

Ageism; Why Lesbians Fair Better Than Gay Men
Long story short, we’re all aging. If you look at the alternative, our only choice is to get older. That said, a study of gay men and lesbian women in May 1998 showed that lesbians are well-adjusted to aging and value women in their entirety, while gay men place an enormous value on having an attractive and vital body. Gay men, the study found, are more apt to consider their bodies currency, establishing their dominance and appeal to the outside world. The study even discovered that gay men tend to view aging as straight women do – with dread and despair. Since we’re all aging, it’s important to realize that you’re not alone and that those in your immediate group (that is, those that are your age) are aging at the same rate you are. Take care of your body and be realistic about your expectations for yourself and others in your age bracket. You cannot be the person you were 20 years ago and quite honestly, you can be better for it.

Blessings Abound
This Sunday, our very own Latisha Finney will celebrate her 34th birthday. As an early birthday gift, Tish and her husband Sean closed on their new home in North Carolina. Congratulations Tish. My favorite artist and intimate friend Philippe celebrated a birthday recently (I won’t tell if you don’t Fluff!) The beautiful caramel prince has been blessing Chicago with his talent since last December. We miss you and await your return home! Vicenta V., the beautiful wife of Eber V. of Virginia, began a new gig recently. The couple and their two beautiful children will be vacationing in Mexico very soon. We’re very proud of your accomplishments! You help us believe in the American dream.

On Blast
With love and respect, can relationships be tailored so that issues such as infidelity, living quarters spats, finances, etc. are eliminated as negative factors? Are couples who establish open relationships or odd rules to make their relationships last forever diluting themselves? Can you love someone completely and still feel the need to engage others intimately?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Morning Edition - 6/21/06 (SUMMER '06 BEGINS!)

Lookin’ Out a Dirty Window to a Beautiful Scene
Sometimes you can’t explain feeling out-of-sorts when everything is going very well. Since our last Morning Edition more than ten days ago, I landed a new position, am making more money, have leveled off at 150 pounds and have met an incredibly beautiful and smart man. I’m grateful for all the wonderful new milestones in my life and know that as I begin meeting some goals, I get harder and harder on myself. I recognize that it’s okay to enjoy these moments when things have come together. So, I say this more to me than to you – get off my back and let me enjoy this moment; the now; my new gig begins Wednesday, July 5.

The Petersons and the Pea
Henry and Winona Peterson are expecting another addition to their family. With their first baby now a toddler, they now have a holiday pumpkin on the way. Please keep them in your prayers as Winnie is prone to some technical difficulties. Congratulations!

All About the Arc
Noah’s Arc is repeating its first season for all those folks who just can’t find a moment in their busy schedules to sit for the sometimes cheesy, but oh-so-gorgeous men of Logo’s runaway hit. Last Friday I purchased the first season on DVD and intend to overdose on the show before the second season begins August 9. It really is groundbreaking to have a cast completely made of men-of-color on prime time television. Bury your insecurities and step aboard the Arc. It is being praised as a male Sex and the City.

Pride; Twenty Years Later
When I was 17 I attended my first NYC Pride Celebration and had my eyes opened to the widest spectrum of the gay life I had ever experienced. Don’t get me wrong, I had been openly gay since I was 15, but at 17 I had settled into myself and was finally meeting people who were more like me. This year I’m celebrating 20 years in the life. It’s a hugely nostalgic experience filled with wild memories and painful recollections all jumbled to make for a time to celebrate my identity. Survival and happiness; two blessings I celebrate this Pride weekend.

Time to Revise the List
The Morning Edition has been around for years, but the blog set officially celebrated its 1st Anniversary this April. It’s time to revise our subscriber list. If you want to add a name, change the e-mail address your reminder arrives to or want to fall back and leave the family, please hit me up at

On Blast
Trial and error and fix…There are plenty of instances in your life (even repeated ones) that have changed an important aspect of your personality and actually made you take-on traits that are not inherently yours. For example: You’re pretty talkative, but rather keep your business to yourself to protect your feelings. What would you say is a trait you possess that is not you, but works in your life?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Morning Edition - 6/7/06

Men and Eating Disorders
Approximately six percent of all documented cases of anorexia belong to males. Unfortunately, society does not readily recognize anorexia in males and doesn’t see the problem as one needing attention. What’s worse, most men suffering from anorexia refuse to seek treatment or don’t recognize the problem. At least one in every ten people suffering from an eating disorder is male. Anorexia is a disease characterized by the irrational fear of getting fat or gaining weight. Victims of the disease severely restrict their food intake and normally increase their exercise and activity. All said, with the issue of body image at the forefront during the summer months, it’s important to realize that unhealthy eating habits are not the answer to your “growing” problem.

Hold the Cheese in Africa?
The African countries of Botswana, Lesotho, Swaziland, Tanzania and Zambia will begin making circumcision more accessible to males in response to a study that showed circumcised men were 60% less likely to contract HIV. Uganda and Kenya are holding their own study of 8,000 men to determine if their male citizens will make the cut.

Noah’s Arc; Catch-up Before Season 2
August 9, the second season of Logo Channel’s Noah’s Arc premieres. Yes, I must pause here. For all the program detractors, let me just say, that Noah’s Arc can be cheesy, but the boyz on this show are dreamy. Noah’s Arc is groundbreaking in that it is the first gay sitcom that features an all men-of-color cast. Tonight at 10 p.m., the second episode of the first season – featuring the introduction of my future husband Wade – to the gang, is on Logo. Don’t miss it. The entire first season goes on sale, June 19.

On Blast
This summer is about having fun. This summer I promise to ____________!
…just fill in the blank and be sure to hold yourself to it. Hey, you have until Labor Day.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Morning Edition - 6/6/06 (It's 666 Y'all!)

X3; The Last Stomach Ache
Opening weekend of XMen 3; The Last Stand was a big weekend for me. My friends and I looked forward to catching up on our favorite mutant compadres for months before the May 26 release date. Unfortunately, the need to shock and surprise outweighed the need to go out on top of their game. The makers (and some of the actors) of the super human celluloid thriller trilogy have already mentioned that X3 is the final foray for the combined XMen on the big screen. Less than 30 minutes into the film and the storyline had my stomach hurting so bad I thought I would hurl. All said, the film introduces several new characters, rids-itself of old favorites and, whether you’re disgusted with the outcome or not, you’ll certainly have a jaw-dropping experience.

Boricua! Puerto Ricans Get Ready To Celebrate
With over three million spectators and hundreds-of-thousands of participants the NYC Puerto Rican Day Parade is the largest celebration for the Puerto Rican culture anywhere. This Sunday, beginning at 11 a.m., Puerto Ricans, their admirers and friends will participate in one of the Big Apple’s most festive celebrations. The parade runs from 44th to 86th Streets and Fifth Avenue.

Emotional Rollercoaster
The last two weeks have been a true emotional rollercoaster. Blame it on the weather, the running ragged or just plain hormonal imbalance, but it has been truly a battle of wills to just get out of the bed and function – hence the lack of Morning Edition postings. Fortunately, I’ve always said that this is life and not a hey ride, so I’m pushing on and am again feeling like I’m getting back in the saddle. I’m still on track with the workouts and the dating life has kept me occupied enough to say, “I really can’t complain.” So, as I gear-up to enjoy this summer I can only say, I’ll keep riding this coaster until it comes off the tracks!

On Blast
Careful what you wish for… Have you ever wished for someone to act a certain way, say certain things or simply be the way you always hoped they’d be, only to realize that their time in your life is over and nothing that transpires with them really matters? Can you catch yourself in time to recognize some moments in time can never be recaptured? Can you appreciate the people in your life for who they were and the new role they may have in your life?

Keep passin’ the open windows…