Sunday, October 19, 2014

A Reality More Beautiful Than Any Fairy Tale

In my eyes she has always been a fairy tale  princess. The perfect  ride or die chick. She is beautiful, brilliant, kind and strong. She is the prissy girl that can still kick off her Louboutins and change a tire. Her heart is larger than the state  of  Texas and this weekend  that heart was forever joined  to the love of her life Greg Tyler.  We have been friends for more than a decade and in that time I have  been privy to Marcia's undying love for Greg.  Isn't that what real fairy tales are made of?   The magic that triumphs through pain, the love that finds a way beyond the years. I'm so proud  of my girl.  Love has won. It isn't a fairy tale, but a palpable reality that, with continued nurturing,  will live forever. 

Keep passing the open windows...

Friday, April 18, 2014

Fixer or Homewrecker? Scandal Season 3 Finale




Has Scandal creator Shonda Rhimes turned our fearless, fashion-forward Washington fixer into a common DC homewrecker? Kerry Washington's pregnancy may have thrown the steamy writing for a loop in season 3 of Scandal leaving some feeling like the once invincible gladiator princess has been reduced to a shaky weak damsel in distress who turns to giving up the goodies to try to score some wins. The finale highlighted the nail in Olivia's leverage coffin when she failed to control the media coverage during the firestorm at the church bombing. Scandal is a phenomenon that has captured viewers with the strength of its heroine and we can only hope that Kerry's real-life pregnancy doesn't prove to be the proverbial Rosemary's baby for Scandal. Fans can only hope that Kerry will return to season 4 ready to restore Olivia to the powerhouse that made Scandal must-see TV, otherwise Scandal will be just another sitcom drama about a cute chick that's sleeping around to get ahead.

- Keep passin' the open windows.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

The Happy Sad

It's funny how most relationships feel the need to conform to a set norm or set of rules adopted by "the majority". When we look at couples that have lasted for a long time we assume that "love" is what carried them through 10, 20 or 30 years when in fact it is the ability to compromise. Love is a great thing, but as many of us can attest, it's not likely to keep us tied-down to someone. Compromise, however, alows us to see past someone's flaws to a place where the greater good exists. In The Happy Sad, the movie explores the dilemma of rules, monogamy and truth. What makes us tick and how we can have our cake and eat it too if we're honest and upfront about our feelings and desires. Ironically, I think that the majority of heartache in relationships is born from trying to NOT hurt someone's feelings. As we evolve, grow, mature and change we have to accept that to have longevity in a relationship we have to communicate and step forward together. Otherwise we join the scores of folks that tried and failed to live by rules that were not intended for their specific relationship. Create your own rules, walk your own path and allow your relationship to grow and change according to your needs and not that of other couples. Anything else is really The Happy Sad.

Keep passin' the open windows...

Sunday, March 23, 2014

We Are - Past, Present, Future

We are all a product of our past. Experiences, influences and lessons that have created the collective we call our personality today. There's a saying in Spanish that says, "La mona aunque se vista de ceda, mona se queda." All to say that life can polish, groom and equip someone, but at their core they are still 'that' person. I celebrate my humble beginnings. As I visited Puerto Rico last week and my beautiful family, I was so proud to see how resourceful we all were and are. I'm proud to have "raices" in Juncos, Puerto Rico. The Maldonado flare, charm and ingenuity are gifts that I thank the Lord for each day. When we stop running from our past we can embrace it as part of our coat of armor. We are all the more interesting, valuable and exciting when we are all that we are - past, present and future.

Keep passin' the open windows...

Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Bridge of Yu Gi-Oh

The moral of the story is that you should enjoy every moment you can with your children because they won't always be interested or impressed by you.

Our son absolutely loves playing Yu Gi-Oh cards. It's a pretty complicated card game that pits monsters against each other - all with different attack and defense levels - while pairing these with spell and trap cards. All cards have an assigned point value that gets tallied when the cards are played against each other. All to say that I would never play such a complicated game in my youth and would probably not take on such a stressful card game as an adult except as I mentioned at the start, our son loves the game and I'm interested in having brief moments when we're not the old and uncool ATM in the bedroom next door. Now, it turns out that my playing the game with him has again reminded me to think out of the box to keep a connection with our teen for as long as we can.

Keep passin' the open windows...



Thursday, February 20, 2014

If We Could Fix Our Mistakes

The moral of the story is that we fix our past mistakes by not repeating them.

As I look back I recognize that I've had a very full life. I think I always did what I really wanted to do and quite honestly, it wasn't all good. As I look back at some of my bigger mistakes, I always wondered where would I be and what would be different if I hadn't done things a certain way or if I had made different choices. The great thing about getting older is that hopefully we can see things more clearly and make better choices. The epiphany I've had about my life and my mistakes is that the only real-world fix to our mistakes (big or small) is to not repeat them. In a way it says you recognize the error of your ways. So, I've stopped wishing I'd done things differently and accepted that making it all better is all about making the right choices now and not repeating everything that can bring waves of angst and regret.

Keep passin' the open windows...

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Taking the Good With the Bad

The moral of the story is that if you don't stick around and persevere you'll never enjoy the great times. Now here's the story...
When we moved into our house a little over two years ago, we were told that upstate NY can have pretty treacherous weather, but the first year we had a total of 6" of snowfall the entire winter. We really thought that the folks around us exaggerated the winters north of NYC until this year. We've had more than 30" of snowfall since the start of winter. The back-breaking work it takes to get the property cleared is quite the undertaking. Then there is the everyday wonderful that is Orange County NY. The beautiful rich colors of fall, the bargain basement square footage pricing and - for us - a comfy and convenient location. So I carefully measure the pros and cons and recognize that, like life, upstate NY has really easygoing years where the weather is a breeze and life is easy and then there are the tear-inducing years that bring several feet of snowfall. Through it all you have to stick around through some crappy times to enjoy the great times. Life isn't all a bed of roses and those who -sadly - don't wait around for another good spell falter, fail and give up right before the great hits.

Keep passin' the open windows...

Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine's Reality

It's Valentine's Day and I'm consistently amazed at how folks run around trying to make it extra special for their significant other. I'm just perplexed at why folks wait for this one day to do what they should be doing every day. I've been with my partner for many years and I refuse to buy into the made-up holiday that is Valentine's Day. Now if it makes you feel good or improves your relationship then go for it. My thinking says that if you're working to make your partner happy  every day you'll have less pressure to get it right the one day of the year.

Keep passin' the open windows...

Saturday, February 08, 2014

MUSIC REVIEW: Luck Fové, Khary Mallea; iTunes/Googleplay: 2/11/14

My Masterpiece Called Luck Fové by Khary Mallea is a new guitar infused rap release that is raw, gritty and in your face. Explicit and true; you get a sense that the artist is allowing us to be voyeurs to his experiences. On the cut 'Alone' the words meld with the lyrics to give an old school feel and an edgy vibe that begs for a drink in hand. With 'Bitta #1664' - my favorite cut - Mallea brings in a beat that is contagious with a storyline that will make every underdog feel the vindication of making it without the support of his former ride-or-die. Mallea reminds me of a Lupe Fiasco had Lupe not been Disney-fide for the masses. Luck Fové is available on iTunes and GooglePlay this Tuesday, Feb 11.


- Keep passin' the open windows.

Location:New York, NY

Thursday, January 02, 2014

Samsung…Innovation Meets Bad Customer Service

Six months ago I trotted over to my neighborhood Best Buy store to make a dramatic change.  I chose to switch from Apple's iPhone device to Samsung's Galaxy S4.  Like a rebellious child, I made the argument that the exodus from Apple's confining tech space would change my experience and tech development.  Samsung's S4 provided all the freedom of a teen that's off to college.  I was free to download what I wanted and set-up my device just as I dreamed.  Within a couple of months my out-of-the-box S4 ran up to its 16G memory cap and my 32G micro SD card was rendered useless by one of Samsung's software updates.  I attempted to fix the hiccup by purchasing an expensive Samsung micro SD card, only to find that the issue wasn't the SD card, it was the actual S4 device.  Countless telephone conversations andTwitter messages later and NOTHING is resolved. Samsung suggested that I send them my mobile device and they would analyze and attempt to repair it.  They were quick to mention that they do not provide replacements or loaners while you wait.  I was forced to choose another mobile device and ATT was kind enough to expeditiously forward me a new Blackberry Q10.  It has proved more reliable AND is better supported than Samsung's flagship phone.  Now, the expensive micro SD card appears to be fried and I again, gave Samsung another opportunity to make-good and replace the accessory.  After spending the better part of several hours explaining the issue with the SD card and providing Samsung Support a proof of purchase and giving them my home address, telephone information and carrier contact, Samsung sent me an email containing a UPS label.  They request I return my Samsung micro SD card to them and upon inspection, they will replace the card.  WHO MAKES THEIR LOYAL CUSTOMERS WAIT FOR A REPLACEMENT WHEN THEIR PRODUCT MALFUNCTIONS?  Samsung does.  They repeatedly use their Twitter feed to appear responsive, but all the Twitter support attendants do is ask for your device information with no real support or help.  I'm done with Samsung.  The sad part is that I drank the kool-aid and believed that Samsung was an innovator of technology, that like Apple, wanted to provide the best product with the highest level of customer service.  Apple has NOTHING to fear.  Samsung's customer service completely ruins their customer's experience.  I recant all accolades I gave Samsung.  I admonish friends, family and anyone who can read this message - Stay clear of Samsung…they couldn't care less about you or ensuring that you are happy.  Apple may want to control your environment, but they are intent on guaranteeing you are happy.  Ultimately, that's the guy that should get your business.  

Keep passin' the open windows...

Thursday, March 28, 2013

DC, Philly and the Little Things

A couple of months ago we had the bright idea of taking a family road trip to see DC and Philly. Exploring America is cost efficient and really interesting. It let us do what we wanted, when we wanted on a budget. We had a ball. My favorite little thing-turned HUGE surprise-on our trip was a stop to visit Keith's older cousins in a affluent suburb of Philly. Their home was exquisite and their company divine, but what made the stop unforgettable was how this amazing couple - married over 40 years - manages to stay warm, romantic and playful. They gave us the gift of their blessing and reminded us that successful and lasting relationships are built on our ability to stay interested.

At a time like this when the Supreme Court is considering whether same sex couples should have the right to marry, I am encouraged by couples like the one we shared an evening with in Philly who understand the importance of love and partnership and how intolerance, ignorance, homophobia and hatred will never win over the power of love. Our family is proof of God's many blessings and mercies.



- Keep passin' the open windows...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Sad, Ignorant and Painful…and that’s Family for You


It has been almost thirty years since my parents asked me to leave my house simply for being gay. Being gay wasn’t something I could change then and there is still no known cure for anyone’s hetero-, homo- or bi-sexuality. As a 15-year old who had never lived anywhere but in my comfy Christian home, the shock of surviving NYC streets was devastating, to say the least. I was forced to live with strangers, sometimes sleep in public places and work a full-time job after school, just to survive. I suffered unmentionable tragedies in the name of learning my lesson, I guess.

This story is NOT about blaming my parents and their ignorance at that time – God knows I forgave their inability to show God’s love to their own child – it is about highlighting important facts.

God’s love and support are undying. Through those terrible times on the streets of NYC, God protected me from the drug use that killed most of the people around me, he prevented me from being killed by some of the shady characters I was forced to go to bed with just to have a place to lay my head and he gave me the strength of character to push forward and get an education and do well for myself….well enough to, at times, help the very family who consistently has shown a disregard for me.  The prayers of those who cared and God’s love carried me through.

Recently, there have been a series of marches in the name of “protecting the family.” Some of my family members have taken to the streets to protest the rights of gay men and women. They allege that someone needs to stand-up for the rights of “traditional” families and that, somehow, my partner, our child and I (or the model we represent) pose a threat to the future of traditional families. To be clear, my family is NO different than any other family in America. We want what’s best for our son, we want love and success for our family and we want to be happy. How this threatens “traditional” families, I will never know. I am disgusted that folks who are otherwise logical human beings would walk in protest against my happiness while alleging to love and care about me and my family.

I have read and understand the bible. I also know that there are plenty of verses in the bible that the Christian church chooses to ignore today saying that many of those are dated or do not fit society today, yet many can’t seem to let go of the verse that speaks of “man laying with mankind.”

I’m not writing this to argue the bible…I don’t wish to toss around bible verses. I’m writing this because in 2013, after my treacherous struggle to get where I stand today, I am saddened by the betrayal and stabs to the heart delivered at the hands of the people I love the most.

Today, I will live in God’s true love. I forgive my family for their ignorance. I will practice God’s word and love them in spite of themselves. I will leave the pain in God’s all-knowing hands.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Monday, December 31, 2012

The Folks We Leave In 2012




Oh sure, those of you who live for the drama and crazy that is toxic people in your lives thought this post was about leaving the negative people in your life in 2012, but this post is all positive. It's about the painful and real loss of the loved ones who left the land of the living in 2012. They shared our lives and left us with such heartwarming memories that we thought we wouldn't survive their departure. As we move to 2013 it's important that we take everything about them with us because they continue to live within us. We will push through the upcoming challenges and we'll celebrate those incredible wins with them in our hearts. When you think life is getting rough, think of them and how you have one more day than they did to make it all better. There's no problem as permanent as a solution and those we lost in 2012 live on in our ability to make every tomorrow better...to see the new opportunities as one more chance to do something wonderful because they are our push to be fearless. So lets pay the utmost respect to those we lost in 2012
by living life to the fullest and being authentic. Life really does go on...and the best way to show you love and remember the folks we lost is by absorbing everything wonderful about them and making an amazing you. Happy 2013.


- Keep passin' the open windows...

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Another Year Over

As we get older we realize how quickly each year slips by and how precious each moment really is. This year I was blessed with so much and I was also reminded that good or bad, all things work according to a higher plan. If it wasn't so pitiful it would be funny how we mope and complain around only to see or hear of a tragedy that reminds us how truly great our lives really are.


In 2013 I'd like to make a difference in my own life...to live healthier, to care more and to live more fully. No one ever laid in their death bed wishing they had spent more time at work. That said, I give thanks for 2012...for all the wows and the awwws.

- Keep passin' the open windows...

Location:New York

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!

Do we really know the history behind the Thanksgiving holiday? More important, do we care? I guess what I'm trying to say is that today's thanksgiving celebration should at least include our remembrance of all that we should be grateful for and not just those material possessions and accessories that are really nice, but don't define who we are. Look around you to those folks who consistently support you, the truly irreplaceable things like your health, the love of your family and friends...those are the things to be thankful for. Who knows...maybe we can let a bit of that gratitude bleed over to the rest of the year.

- Keep passin' the open windows...

Location:New York

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Funny How Time Flies

Funny how time flies... It has been seven months since we moved into our new home. Believe it or not, we're still adjusting to our over-one-hour commute and taking care of more house and the property around it. All said, we couldn't be happier. The home and the life we're living are blessings that we're grateful for and conscious of. When we moved in folks mentioned that we should give the house some time before tackling big projects, since our priorities would change. The real priorities haven't changed, but our order of taking them on has. Since moving in we've changed our foyer area a bit, but are waiting before making a decision on curtains and blinds - both of which will have an enormous impact on making our first floor look a lot more updated. On a whole other 'time flies' note is the realization that Buster is now showing serious signs of aging. Deafness, blindness and a stiffer gate are now his regular afflictions, but he has earned his turn to be cared for and I'm here to do it. Love my Bus-Bus.


- Keep passin' the open windows.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Maturity, Apathy and the Realization That You Can Ignore Ignorance


Some of my close friends and family members get a bit rattled when I start a sentence with, “I’m an old man, so…,” but the reality is that I not only look older, I feel older. The svelte and trim body I moaned about as out-of-shape, is now REALLY the nightmare I once dreaded. I guess when I’m finally fed up with saying it, I’ll actually do something about it. In the meantime, I’ve matured enough emotionally and mentally to be a confident and comfortable man in spite of it. A comment that would have normally sent me off the deep end, today barely registers as a drop in my ocean of experiences. Case in point, while picking up lunch in our staff cafeteria moments ago, one of our servers – and may I say that our caf staff loves us and gives us the utmost respect – mentioned that Ricky Martin was a heathen and was going to burn in hell. When my coworker Nancy caught what the caf guy was eluding to, she interjected to say that everyone was a sinner and fell short of God…he continued to rattle on about Ricky’s disgusting and sinful ways. I could only smile. Finally, I turned to him and said, “Evangelist Miguel, would you give me more gravy please.” He smiled and seemed thrown off his rant, not mentioning another word of it. As I returned to my desk with Nancy, I said to her that an odd thing had begun happening in my life. I no longer felt the need to defend or fight certain people over certain things. In particular, I don’t feel the need to explain and defend the gay issue. I am a gay man; the Lord is aware of it; he continues to bless me; you’re an, alleged, devout Christian; you’re consistently angry and confrontational; your life is crumbling around you; Enough said. Sometimes, if you allow ignorance to speak freely, it will hear itself. This isn’t to say that I won’t tell you that I support marriage equality and equal rights for all – White, Black, Gay or Straight – but it does mean that I’m not dedicating any energy to explaining and justifying my blessed life to someone who isn’t worthy of my expending any energy on them and their ignorant musings. Life is too short folks. Dedicate your time to the people and things that truly matter. Let us remember that wise, old saying, “Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one.”





Keep passin’ the open windows…


Monday, April 09, 2012

Angela Corey and God

Angela Corey is the State Attorney in Florida’s Fourth Judicial Circuit Court and the person charged with handling the Trayvon Martin case. A Republican, Episcopalian woman born in Florida, Corey is no stranger to controversial court cases. Presently, she’s overseeing the case of 12-year old Cristian Fernandez who stands accused of killing his two-year old brother. Our diligent Ms. Corey managed to land a grand jury indictment of young Fernandez and is even pushing to have the 12-year old tried as an adult….sigh….I really do hope that her handling of Trayvon’s case shows a bit more prudent judgment than the Fernandez case. Today Corey announced she will not take Trayvon’s murder before a grand jury – in her defense, Florida law only requires that 1st degree murder cases be brought to a grand jury in Florida. Trayvon’s murder was scheduled to be reviewed by a grand jury tomorrow. Now the decision on whether to bring charges against George Zimmerman – the man who shot and killed the unarmed Martin – rests solely on Angela Corey. Angela Corey and God… the supreme power over guilt or innocence.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Details Are Background Noise; Trayvon Was Murdered

The case of Trayvon Martin has shaken many of us to our core and for some, the case is slightly more personal because it highlighted a dark secret America has long held….a secret that seemed taboo to speak about and politically incorrect to address – America fears young men of color.

Many would say that myths and legends have a start in truth. A volcano erupts and the villagers begin a rumor-turned-myth that an angry God lives in the mountain. There are a million different stories that can substantiate some stereotypes-turned-myths-turned irrational fears. Sadly, some have turned these irrational fears into a terrifying reality that will have some folks justifying killing a man of color simply for being present; somehow our mere presence sends-up a red flag for some; for some, men of color trigger a fight or flight response.

As a man of color I’m perplexed by the reaction some folks may have to me. I’ve seen [first-hand] as some women move their purse to the opposite side of where I’m standing; I’ve been privy to the young white man who gets off the elevator before it leaves the lobby so we’re not sharing the ride.

America can now have the conversation that starts with, “…there is good and bad in all men.” Rather than elaborate further, I’d urge everyone to take a look at who you’re pre-judging and to make a conscious effort to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Now I’m not saying that you should turn-off your God-given fight/flight response to danger (if you feel it, do something about it) but that something should more than likely be run and avoid danger, rather than run to meet it head-on.

Ultimately, Trayvon Martin was murdered in cold blood on a street in Florida. Whether he was a clean-cut kid or a homicidal maniac doesn’t matter. The truth is that George Zimmerman was instructed by the 9-1-1 operator to remain in his vehicle and to NOT pursue Trayvon. He chose to ignore that order. Did Trayvon strike George first? The answer is irrelevant. I would hope that my son would fight for his life if a stranger confronted him on the street baring a weapon

Was Trayvon a good kid? Is George a racist? Was Trayvon looking for trouble that night? Did George see something really suspicious? Who struck out first? ALL of these questions and their respective answers are moot; You see, sometimes the details of a story are just background noise. Trayvon is dead. Murdered at the hands of a man instructed to stay in his vehicle; shot to death by a weapon totting neighborhood watch vigilante.





Keep passin' the open windows...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Me, My Partner, My Son & Trayvon Martin

After hundreds – maybe thousands – of investigative reports, studies and even personal experiences, America is finally coming to terms with our not-so-covert-racism issue and our irrational fear of men of color. Whether the fear is real or imagined is less relevant than why anyone would have a fear of a segment of the population based strictly on their gender and/or color of their skin.




Today, Trayvon Martin, 17, lies dead. His killer, George Zimmerman called 9-1-1 to report that he was witnessing a suspicious man walking through the neighborhood. The man he was referring to was Trayvon. In Trayvon’s possession at the time of death, were a bag of skittles and an iced tea – hardly weapons of mass destruction or a hold-up even. Before killing Trayvon, police asked Zimmerman to remain in his vehicle and not to pursue the young man, but he disregarded their orders, trailed the young man, confronted him and then shot him – in what Zimmerman alleges was self defense.



When I first heard the story of Trayvon I thought that more information would surface that would show why Zimmerman was forced to shoot and kill him. That information never came. Instead, I was treated to a horrific barrage of audio and eyewitness accounts of an innocent teenager who returning from a trip to the store was followed, cornered and murdered by a strange man – one he clearly feared based on his cries for help heard by eyewitnesses before the fatal shots were fired.



Sure, Trayvon isn’t related to us directly, but as a man of color, I am Trayvon. My son is Trayvon. My partner is Trayvon. Why would my wearing a hoodie be suspicious to anyone, if the same hoodie would not be seen as suspicious on a Caucasian man?


Trayvon’s senseless murder is getting the attention it deserves. I am disgusted with the police department and justice department handling the case in Florida. Most of all, I grieve with the parents of Trayvon who have to watch their son’s killer walk free; still in possession of the weapon that killed their child.



I don’t subscribe to vigilante justice, but I do believe in karma as life’s equalizer. You may think it a whimsical wish to think that George Zimmerman will have to pay – in his lifetime – for the cowardly murder of Trayvon, but I know it to be true. Whether he burns in hell is between George and his creator, but before he ever gets there, he will settle the score for Trayvon right here.



Sign the petitions asking for justice for Trayvon that are circulating around the web and contact your legislators. It’s fine to complain, mope and groan to your family and friends, but let your voice be heard by those who have the power to affect change. Do it for all the Trayvons – including myself – who walk the streets innocently, but because of the color of our skin, we are somehow a threat…suspicious…requiring lethal force to stop us from getting home with our bag of Skittles.



RIP Trayvon…your short life will not be in vain.







Keep passin' the open windows...