Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Morning Edition - 12/27/05

When Cocoa Got His Cuz Back
Nancy Robles, missing for over one full week, returned home Saturday night after a hospital stay. Robles’ daughter, Crystal, called and informed me that she had returned – unharmed – Saturday night. Needless to say, I was at Nancy’s doorstep Christmas morning to pick her up. I can fuss, fight and argue, but the truth is, I’m just glad she’s okay. We spent the weekend together and laughed, partied and enjoyed some much needed family time. Welcome home Nancy.

The Parent Trap
My parents arrived safely at JFK airport in NYC this weekend. The pair, equipped with two large and may I say, extremely heavy pieces of luggage, rambled out of the baggage claim area looking like two small children looking for their nanny. Mom is still burning the midnight oil and has not gone to bed earlier than 2 a.m. – even with my overt Ambien offerings. My dad, who now hears nothing, unless it resembles the engines of a 747 landing in my living room, now makes 4 a.m. his wake-up hour. Thank you for the Percocet prescription Dr. Feelgood. No folks, these narcotics are not being offered to my parents. I’ve instead opted to take two Percs along with one Ambien to ease my own pain and ignore the antics of the dynamic duo. Just before leaving for work I caught my mother thumbing through my porn collection that I hid in two trash bags and far in the back of an unused closet. Suffice to say, both my parents were admonished to stay away from this closet as it had private things in it. Instead of dropping my Copsuckers VHS tape securely in her hand, my mom simply looked back and said, “You don’t really think this guy’s a cop, do you?” I was shocked, horrified and was called “dramatic” for snatching the tape out of her hand, tossing it back in the closet and slamming the door shut. This tape ordeal comes on the heels of Saturday night’s fiasco that included me putting them to bed and thinking I was going to enjoy a marathon session of Noah’s Arc (the Logo program) only to find my mom got out of bed and was waiting for me on my couch (bed, now that they’re in town) while I was on a bathroom break. “That boy is a real puto,” she exclaimed when I returned and found she was admiring Ricky having sex in his store room. I raced to change the channel and she said, “Turn it back, I like it and while you’re up why don’t you make some coffee and I’ll watch this with you.” Not only did my private Noah’s-Arc time go down the tubes, but I spent the evening doing the unthinkable – discussing my favorite gay show with my mom! What’s worse is that she even pointed out Wade and said, “He’s your favorite isn’t he? He looks like you’re type!” Oh my God! How does my mom even think she knows my type?! Crazy thing is – she’s right!! We don’t even discuss my being gay for Christ’s sake!! My parents requested I pick them up from my brother’s house this evening when I get home from the office. Carl, hold on to something.

On Blast
New Year’s resolutions are over-rated and often disregarded after February 1. What one New Year’s resolution do you intend to make and keep for 2006? What will you do to insure it is a priority?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

23 comments:

donya said...

first I am glad to hear that your cousin is doing well. Tell her she had a lot of prayers going up for her. Second, I think your mom is hilarious and as weird as that moment may have been you had to think about it later and laugh. My new year's resolution I have already started and that is to be FINE (Well finer!!) for the 2006 summer.

petite morceau said...

Cocoa, your mom sounds like quite a character LOL. And darling, be assured that mothers always know what their children's preferences are just because we are your mothers.

As for a New Year's resolution - I purposely never make any. I will just look forward to the good things and keep on working to provide for my son.

Lorraine said...

HILARIOUS! More so because I know them!

caspar608 said...

Momm Millie and Poppa Johnnie....I have such fond memories of them both. Seems that Mom is more accepting of who you are now. that is something to be celebrated rather than pondered for its weirdness. By the way, Bryan is your biggest fan now.
My NYR is to take better care of me. I am tired of carrying all this extra weight around...I need to get my ass back on the treadmill and take care of my body, myself for a change. And to stop trying to be nice to people while putting my well being ay risk for exhaustion.

caspar608 said...

I NEED FEEDBACK FROM MY BLOGGER brothers and sisters.....
I invited a friend from work to my Christmas Day celebration. In light of the transit strike I told her I would pick her up...but as you know subways were up and running by Friday morning (much to the dismay of Cocoa Rican). I talked to her again on Christmas Eve and she insisted that she get something for my children - I insisted she bring HERSELF only. Christmas morning I called her and wished her a merry christmas and a good morning. I told her I was exhausted and up until 5:30am wrapping gifts and preparing food for the Christmas Dinner. I said I would see her later. I really did want to pick her up...but I got so caught up in preparing food for over 15 people and was a zombie from exhausted....I called her at 2:30pm and told her I was sending a car service down to 56th Street to pick her up becasue I was DOG tired and had a house full of people. I honestly had the best intentions for her. She's a single gal alone with two cats and a family that is beyond disfunctional. She's my friend and I didn't want her to be alone on Christmas for God's sake! When I mad that offer to send a car service she GAGGED and said no forget it, we'll get together some other time. I proceeded to get in my car after telling her I was on my way and lost my parking space only for her to call me halfway into Manhattan to tell me she really did not feel like coming.
She was tired and hungry....I turned around and went back home to my family and friends who were waiting for dinner to be served.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION TACTFULLY THE NEXT TIME I SEE HER?

caspar608 said...

I made...
Spinach with smoked pork bits
Asparagus with Hollandaise Sauce
Candied Sweet Potatoes
Butter Corn
Stuffing
a 16 pound Turkey
mashed potatoes
turkey gravy

ALL BY MYSELF FOR 15 guests. Aren't you proud of me?

Anonymous said...

LOL...LOL...i've gotta meet'em!!!
okay, so i've decided not to make any resolutions...it's just too much stress for me, i can't handle it...so my resolution is not to make any from the new year forward...i break them every year so phuck it!
Marcia

Anonymous said...

Tundo, Tundo, Tundo, Your mother knows your type. She has showed you parade men through her house since your were 14y/o. oh yeah, buddies you called them, but why did all of their clothes off while you were doing homework; every one of them, every single time? Millie knows who is hot check out a picture of Juan is in his youth, Chulo! Is that the correct spelling? And where was little Ms. Nancy; we would have hung out right after the beat down.

Anonymous said...

oh,
signed
J'Moo

Cocoa Rican said...

Caspar…
Let me preface my response by saying, I love you more than my luggage and it’s all good…
That said, if the initial agreement was to pick her up for Christmas dinner, you should’ve done so. By offering to send a car, it makes the guest feel like they are not only getting free dinner, they’re imposing for a ride. (Lest we forget when you threw me in a cab last week, instead of driving me home!) All said, you offered to provide alternate transportation and when she refused to accept it (whatever the reason) she ends your obligation – PERIOD. When you see her, be cordial, warm and friendly as nothing is wrong. Just as you had the right to send a car for her rather than picking her up, she had the option of declining such an offer. There should be NO love lost or hard feelings.

J’Moo…
My mom has never seen me parade men through her home – and definitely none that were shirtless – especially not at 14! Why must you always try to humiliate me!! Besides, when my school buddies and I ended-up naked doing homework, it was just HOT in the house and we were trying not to ruin our clothes with sweat. Why does everything have to be sexual?! For the record: That one time I was caught going a bit further, I really was checking Ricky’s temperature! As for dad in his day – Yes, he was quite the looker…which is only a bigger nightmare if my genetics lend themselves to create that type of monster with time!

Lorraine…
Are you stopping by… mom and dad are in town until 1/2/06. Hit me up at home tonight.

My resolution for 2006: 1.Break it down before the summer so that I’m physically ready for anything by May. 2. Be true to myself regardless of what the opposing views are.

Cocoa Rican said...

Let the bloggers sing...

MJB

Be Without You

Be Without You
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
(Oh, oh, oh, oh)
Oooo (oh, oh, oh, oh) oooo

Chemistry was crazy from the get-go
Neither one of us knew why
We didn't deal nothing overnight
Cuz a love like this takes some time
People start off as a phase
Said we can't see that
Now from top to bottom
They see that we did that (yes)
It's so true that (yes)
We've been through it (yes)
We got real sh** (yes)
See baby we been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

I got a question for ya
See I already know the answer
But still I wanna ask you
Would you lie? (no)
Make me cry? (no)
Do somethin' behind my back and then try to cover it up?
Well, neither would I, baby
My love is only your love (yes)
I'll be faithful (yes)
I'm for real (yes)
And with us you'll always know the deal
We've been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

See this is real talk
I'm always stay (no matter what)
Good or bad (thick and thin)
Right or wrong (all day everyday)
Now if you're down on love or don't believe
This ain't for you (no, this ain't for you)
And if you got it deep in your heart
And deep down you know that it's true (come on, come on, come on)
Well, let me see you put your hands up (hands up)
Fellas tell your lady she's the one (fellas tell your lady she's the one, oh)
Put your hands up (hands up)
Ladies let him know he's got you locked
Look him right in his eyes and tell him
We've been...

Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

Heeeeeeeeeeeey Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Heeeeeeeeeeeey Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you
I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you

Anonymous said...

Krissy Said...

I am so happy your cousin in fine & my condolences.

Personally I am making personal changes within myself.

I am minimizing the going all out for people and will reserve myself to first take care of myself.

I am not running to the arms of the 1st man that pays attention to me.

I am focusing on me & speaking out as a matter of fact instead of speaking out defensively.

I am 36, 24, 36 & 120lbs YES I AM

More to come.

Ciao

Anonymous said...

hey Krissy,

I'm 44, 32, 32, 162lbs, 8.5 x 6, more to come, smile
J'Moo

caspar608 said...

Krissy
Do it girl.
Cas

caspar608 said...

Cocoa
Now you Know how much I love your azz, but honey was all tuckered out and tired from our day of shopping and I didn't want to lose a choice parking space in front of my building to drive you home when I would have been looking for a space for the remainder of the evening. I would have paid for a car service to pick my friend up even though she makes a ton of money more than I simply because I was not prepared for all of the work that goes into cooking for so many people. Perhaps that was our "original agreement" but don't friends usually want to cooperate and compromise without one doing all of the work? Thats why I have made a resolution to myself for the new year to just be me and forego all of the extra work for the sake of being nice.
Cas

caspar608 said...

Whats the difference between me picking someone up or dropping them off in my car when I am going to pay for a car service anyway? I wouldn't expect anyone to go into their own pockets. Not for myself or my children. When I invite friends to my home, whether it be for a dinner or for a birthday party I just expect them to bring themselves. I've had folks come with gifts in hand anyway, and folks come with themselves only. The gifts are a surprise and very much appreciated - the company and memories are priceless. I try to be the best hostess I can be in my home, extending as much warmth and hospitality as I am able to ... I suppose it is wrong of me to assume that my friends and loved ones would understand that I am human...my intentions are always good and when I have a hard time delivering, I make the mistake of assuming my friends will compromise and meet me at some point. Hence the need to change the way I do things. I appreciate the feedback from all.

Cocoa Rican said...

Caspar honey...I said, when she declined your offer to send for her via a car service it completely takes away your obligation to her, since you offered to insure she got to your house - which is why I never complained either when I was sent home via car service. It would appear you care much more about the outcome of this dinner invitation that you're letting us on to think. In any event, you offered, you delivered, she declined. No harm, no foul. Move on... her loss...

Anonymous said...

Casper,

Friends are like family, she’ll get over it and you should be comforted in knowing that you went beyond the call of "Christmas Cheer" in my book.
Merry, Merry to you and the boys
J’Moo

Tammy said...

as shocked and appalled as you might pretend to be...you are absolutely thrill with your mother, and you're having a wonderful time with her and she with you! i love it! tell cousin nancy she try that disappering act again, and i'mma hafta take a trip to NY! i dun spent all week on my knees fo dat chile!!! i'm glad she's home and safe.

Cocoa Rican said...

Tam,
I'm enjoying mom, I just wish she wouldn't be busy keeping my face crimson all 7 days she's here!

As for spending all weekend on your knees... I'm glad you were able to squeeze a few prayers in. ...but seriously, thanks for your prayers, I'm sure they're the reason she's back in one piece.

caspar608 said...

I HATE TO FEEL LIKE I LET SOMEONE DOWN. I HAVE CATHOLIC GUILT ISSUES. SOMEONE PLEASE PUNCH ME IN MY FACE.

Lorraine said...

I will call you later for visiting details!

LaLa said...

My NYR is to get my degree early, take care of me, start investing and not let the things I can't change get to me. It is all about me in 2006!!!