Morning Edition - 11/30/05

Honey, I’m Home!
For the last eleven days I have been playing the role of retiree in HOT and sunny Puerto Rico – yeah, the shining star of the Caribbean. My sidekick Freaking Rican and I were able to hit some beautiful beaches while sloshing down some Pina Coladas – yeah, we even shared stories about how some of the men were a complete waste for not being available to Freaking – serious eye candy for me though! Just before leaving on my Caribbean cool-out I stood at the check-in line at the American Airlines terminal with T who went in his pocket and pulled – what he called – a placeholder ring on my finger. When I asked him, “What is this for?” T responded by getting on one knee – right in front of hundreds of travelers – and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I quickly pulled him up, hugged him tight and planted a long wet one on him. So I guess you can say I got engaged right before taking my trip into Satan’s lair. The Maldonado/Cruz family gathering was festive and bordered on nut-house excitement. We all discovered that while some families have high-blood pressure or diabetes run in their family – the Maldonado family has a history of mental illness. Who knew?!?! My clubbing with the locals was HOT-HOT-HOT and I had to use all my powers to deflect the oncoming advances of the garlic munchers. I even saw a T look-alike, but I know best and stayed clear! I returned Monday night to a bouquet of my favorite flowers – white tulips! My honey was waiting for me, flowers, a smile and a special gift…I stayed up enjoying my welcome-home gift until 5 a.m…..wink, wink. Special thank-you to Freaking for enjoying my vacation with me and to Marcia, Col and Yolanda for staying in touch while I was out there. Today I hope to eat with the ladies who lunch…. Carm, Mich, Yo, Ana, Tash, Juana and sistah Maldonado are all welcome. Hit me up with time and location!

You Can’t Blow Me Until Next June
The hurricane season officially ends today. The 2005 hurricane season was the busiest and costliest in US history. No hurricane has ever been known to hit the US mainland between December and May. This year 13 hurricanes – four of which hit the US and three were Category 5 storms – hit the US mainland. Puerto Rico had a brief two-day tropical storm during my visit last week. Katrina proved to be the deadliest US hurricane since 1928, killing an estimated 1,300 folks.

Noah’s Arc – Tonight at 10; LOGO Channel
After taking a week off and showing a repeat while I was away, Noah’s Arc returns tonight with a brand new episode. Tonight’s episode, entitled Love is a Battlefield will explore Ricky’s new-found love-life with Junito and his eek “issue,” Alex and Trey’s fading sexual involvement, Wade and Noah’s career-relationship tennis match and we’ll finally know whether Chance wants Keith back. For those who have trouble keeping up with the series, tune-in at 9:30 p.m. to see the last episode. The new episode airs at 10 p.m.

On Blast
I have always frowned on gay marriage – well, personally – not as an issue – as I believed gay marriage was another carrot dangled by the straight community to lure the gay community into mainstream “normalcy.” Now that I’ve accepted T’s proposal to spend the rest of our lives together, we’re juggling ideas for the where and how of a trendy, yet simple wedding that doesn’t conform to “straight” standards. Here’s my initial thought…Puerto Rico beach wedding. Friday night cocktail party to acquaint my guests – island flare for all. Saturday Sarong-clad groom and groom vows on the beach… off-beach tent reception. Two-to-three day honeymoon on the island with our guests enjoying a Spa treatment Sunday before catching their evening flights. Your thoughts?

Keep passin’ the open windows…