Help; Delivered My Way

If there’s something that I’m surprised about in this day and age is how folks not only want your help, they want your help THEIR way. If they’d like a ride to the grocery store they want to tell you what time is convenient for THEM; if they need to have you work on something, they will insert the word “NOW” as if you are supposed to drop everything you are doing to accommodate their needs.

BREAKING NEWS: When you need someone’s help OR someone offers their help, that assistance puts you at the whim of the provider.

There’s nothing to interpret. Life is not always fair. If you need help, you make yourself available when I can provide that help. If you want me to step in, you have to be prepared to deal with whatever it is I shell out.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Today you need help; tomorrow I may need help. In light of the fact that today is YOUR day – and you are the one in need – you need to be humble, accessible, available and grateful to receive my assistance.

There’s always OPTION B: NEVER ASK ANYONE FOR ANYTHING.

You see, I’m really a giving person, but I hate to feel punked.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Blogger May Be Dead to Some; The Nostalgia Lives for Me

I still remember the day I decided to put my daily “Morning Edition” emails to friends on a less intrusive medium; that venue was the internet’s new diaryesque system, Blogger. Blogging was a way to catalog my life, stay in touch with friends and get some feedback – sometimes cruel and brutal – to my life’s ups and downs. I began blogging in 2005, so I guess five years later, I’m a bit nostalgic when I read back on where I was a relatively short time ago. The truth is blogger still serves that purpose for me. While having dinner with friends this weekend, we talked about how most of the bloggers who we read years ago are completely ghost today; their blog pages have been either removed or untouched for months or even years. Abandoned sites; like a scene out of NBCs Flash Forward; it’s like they ceased to exist one day. Admittedly, I average about one post a week, but it’s one post more than most of my former blogger buddies. I guess old habits die hard. I love reading back through my blog every now-and-again to see the intricacies of my life; the hard to remember details are right there in full color. A few years ago – and yes, it was a few years ago - some of us bloggers actually decided to put a face to all of those blog posts we read over the years. We scheduled a meet-and-greet in Baltimore, Maryland and had a real blast of a weekend. I guess even that aspect – the anonymity of blogging – died for some that day. All said, blogging may be a dying medium, but until blogspot.com tells me that they are dismantling my blog, I will be that familiar place where Cocoa still exists; A safe haven for my thoughts, my dreams – some I’m happy to see I have realized over the years. It’s funny, but I jumped on AOL Instant Messenger the other day and BAM, I had a quick chat with some of my friends via my iPhone AIM application. Just when I thought that medium was completely dead, it turns out there are still folks sitting there…manning the stations of a medium I thought was gone. I guess I’ll be holding down the fort at Blogger.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

The Freedom of Old Gay

Even when I was just a young kid, I gravitated toward older folks. I guess I found their way of handling situations remarkably stoic and matter-of-fact. Today, as part of what many would consider the “older gay generation” I’ve come to accept that many of the issues that my younger brethren fret about are not issues that I am ready to waste a Tweet on. Recently in the news, the Vatican mentioned that the sexual abuses forged on children by its Priests could be attributed to homosexuality. I found the comment ignorant, but also laughable. Some of my younger compadres appeared to be ready to do battle with the Catholic Church about the comment, but really, in my view, sometimes you have to let ignorance sit out there on its own. Just let the general population look at it and say, “Yeah, with all due respect, the Pope is a straight-up ass.” As has been discussed here before, the vast majority of all sex offenders (pedophile priests included) are straight. It’s just the reality of the matter folks. Then there’s the issue of marriage equality. The younger generation will rip doors off hinges to have the straight population accept that ALL consenting adults have the right to marry who they want to marry. PERIOD. In the end, many heterosexual opponents to marriage equality feel that allowing same sex couples to marry will somehow degrade the institution of marriage – meanwhile there have been countless reality shows about marrying a millionaire, a midget, a foreigner…you name it. No one complained about f’ing up the institution of marriage when those shows aired on television. All said, I love my man, we’re committed, we have a beautiful son and our family is not made or dismantled by the hatred and ignorance of lonely, repressed heterosexual America. Let me be clear, “I support marriage equality, but I will not bust a gut trying to help a homophobe see my point. Then there’s the issue of God, religion and whether or not some minister believes my gay ass will be burning in the pits of hell. Let me be clear my dear friends, as the son of a Pentecostal minister (whom I love dearly) I will say to you that MAN has interpreted the word of God since the beginning of time. In that interpretation, man has chosen to keep or dispose of whatever rules, mandates, etc. they saw would make their worship what they envisioned it to be. Entire chapters of the holy word are rewritten and re-interpreted so that women can worship with more freedom, so that fashion can prevail over what Biblical norms appeared to dictate, but homos appear to fail to get the green light to love God, be loved by God and be saved. Well, my dear friends, my relationship with God is a real one. He has never failed me, he has answered my prayers and he is there for me; I guess you can say he looked beyond my faults and saw my needs. As part of a population referred to as OLD GAY, I am completely content; happy with all of God’s blessings: a healthy family, great friends and a God that never fails me. I refused to be sucked in to the negative cancer that plagues the religious right; the divisive hatred that does not represent my God. Life is too short to wait on laws to pass before you feel free enough to live your life; love the person you want to love; and worship your God with all your heart. Enjoy life; Go ahead and live the OLD GAY.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

Pet Names; A Sign of the Times

Love is a funny thing. It blossoms, matures and continually changes. Many folks have trouble seeing themselves – as others see them – but I do a pretty good job at stepping back and getting a good view of me. I’ll tell you that for all the quirks I have, I am equal parts treasure. It may sound conceited to say that I’m worth the trouble, but my true friends know that I am fun, fun-loving and loyal, but I am also neurotic, anal and demanding. All said, I recently had to chuckle to myself at BD and how his pet name for me has changed. To be fair, BD has had a great deal more exposure to me and my FULL personality since we started living together, but I was recently surprised to see that his pet name for me on instant messenger had changed from Macchiato (referring to the caramel treat you get from Starbucks) to Spock (the overly-logical and incapable of warmth character) from Star Trek. When I noticed the change I mentioned it to him and he said, “Oh, it’s just that you’re so logical about everything, that’s all.” Right… So anyway, life goes on, pet names change and my hope is that I don’t somehow find myself face-to-face with HELLRAISER staring back at me as my new pet name. Such is life, huh?

Keep passin’ the open windows…