Thursday, May 06, 2010

I Respect My Silence

Throughout my life I’ve been a fearlessly outspoken person. When I go silent, it isn’t for lack of words or fear of repercussions, it’s usually because I’ve shared my thoughts and don’t think anything I say will make an impact OR worse, that nothing I say matters. As I get older, I tend to respect my silence because it precipitates my disconnect from a subject or situation that I feel powerless to affect or change. There’s a funny thing about having more experience under your belt, you tend to know where things are going and can anticipate the outcome of things. I liken the feeling to that of watching an old farmer in his field; he knows what seeds will provide the best harvest for any given year and can anticipate the issues that begin to develop in his field. Sometimes we are so hell-bent to have others UNDERSTAND us that we neglect to see that we are wasting valuable time. I love where my life is right now and don’t take any of it for granted, but I’m not hyper-protective of it. I love my job, but I know that we’re all expendable; I am in love with my man, but understand that there are many variables and moving parts that keep that relationship working; I enjoy my new car, but know it can disappear in an instant. So, what’s MOST important to me is my knowledge that while I can’t predict the future, I WANT to be a part of it. Fat, old and in any varying form that my life may take, I am most grateful that I’m here. I know that deep down inside while I may struggle to sometimes fight-the-power-that-be, it is in my silence where there is a shrug of ambivalence; a means to my own sanity; and a respect for the fact that I may have reached the point in my life where there is so much that means a lot to me, but nothing that will ultimately shatter me.

Keep passin’ the open windows…


That Dude Right There said...

I've gotten to be the same way. When someone is just determined not to see my point, I just go silent or start saying "ok" to everything they say.

bobbymo51 said...

Great message for me - a VERY slow learner, ofttimes!