Monday, June 30, 2008

Morning Edition - 6/30/08

Last Wednesday night, the whole Cocoa sibling posse’ gathered to pick up the folks from JFK International Airport in NYC. The flight was delayed and we used the time to reconnect and catch up – laughing and carrying-on with each of us being funnier that the last person telling their story. When my parents finally arrived at 10:00 p.m., we loaded them up in my sister’s minivan and I drove everyone home, before bringing my parent’s back home with me. That’s right blogger fam, my folks will be bunking with me until July 8th. As the usual disclaimer, I’ll establish that I absolutely adore my folks. My mom and dad mean the world to me and having them stay with me is both a privilege and a joy. That said, my folks are older now and as many of you will attest, as we grow older, we regress to childhood. My parents are playful, curious and downright nerve shredding. I’m blissfully enjoying mom’s home cooked meals and pay the price for them by thoroughly cleaning my kitchen until 2 a.m. most mornings. I’ve never seen anyone make such a mess preparing meals! My dad lost his hearing aide within two days of arriving – actually, he flushed it down my toilet by accident. As many of you know, I give my parents my bedroom when they stay with me and I take the sofa bed in my living room. By Saturday, I was irritable from lack of sleep, horny from the lack of my man and starting to get downright testy. So, I had a movie date with my man and headed out to watch Wanted. As an aside, the movie is off-da-chain! Four-mutha-F’in-stars! When BD and I returned, my parents were asleep and I decided to rekindle some back-at-home freakiness. I asked BD to spend the night with me on the sofa bed and he nervously agreed. I then crept to the bathroom, started the shower and pulled BD in with me locking the door behind us. We did the hottest sneak-freak since junior high. We then quietly retreated to bed before my parents woke up a few hours later to the surprise of BD lying in bed with me. Hey, I believe in comfort-via-shock…what can I say? My father was initially uncomfortable, but eventually warmed up once the bed was stowed away and I was cooking breakfast for BD and the folks. BD and I then drove my parents to church and returned to christen my, until now, ignored living room. We tore the place down and fell fast asleep. When we woke up we went for broke again and just as we were done and were walking to the bathroom to wash up, my parents knocked at the front door. They hitched a ride with my uncle and returned unannounced and with company! BD ran into the bathroom and I tossed his clothes in behind him to dress there. I then realized that I hadn’t washed up and smelled like hot-butt-naked-monkey love! I yelled, “Coming!” ran into my kitchen and did a 30 second face wash with apple dishwashing liquid. I zipped my jeans while unlocking my front door and greeted my company. Before anyone could make their way to my living room, I dashed in front, snatched the sheets from the chaise lounge and tossed them behind the thing before tucking the lubricant bottle beneath my couch. My father looked at me strangely and I wondered if anyone could smell the remains of a great evening. I served everyone drinks and as my uncle and his wife left I gave them the over-the-shoulder, please don’t get close to my face-and-neck area kind-of hug. BD was slightly flushed and I looked like the cat that swallowed the bird. As I left my parents to get ready for bed and started my car to drive BD home, we both laughed as the reality hit that if my family had arrived 1-minute earlier they would’ve been privy to the loud screams of pleasure pouring from my living room. All said, it was an exhausting and exhilarating weekend. Sometimes taking it back to the days when you had to have a sneak-freak can really add the extra spice to that already scalding lovemaking. I guess the only thing that troubles me is that I haven’t found the condom wrappers in the living room yet! I pray that I find them before my parents do or it’s going to be a really awkward week.

On Blast
Caught in the act…Tell of a time when you were caught (or almost caught) having sex.

Keep passin’ the open windows…


Anonymous said...

First let me tell you that my stomach hurts and my vision is blurred with the tears of laughter from reading your account of the sneak freak. I swear your life is better than television sometimes Cocoa!!! I'm so glad you asked your question too---cause I was fixin to tell you ANYWAY of a near-miss that still makes hubby and me blush! It's a bit drawn-out because---well---I blog just like you do---with lots of details to help my readers appreciate the FULL picture! But anyway, here goes:

When hubby and I were a year into our relationship, he found a house for us to move into together. Since it was a serious fixer-upper, he wouldn't hear of me moving in until things were up-to-par. So he would work his regular job by day and pull damn-near another 8 to 10-hr shift at home working on the repairs and remodeling every night and most of the weekends. Keep in mind, I was young--23 years old in fact--I had never lived anywhere but with my parents and had never been permitted to visit a "boy's" home unaccompanied by a chaperone, so you get the picture where my parents' level of expectations were, right? They already weren't thrilled with my choice in mates but supported my decisions no matter how loud the silent screams in their heads were. For the record, mom had given her approval for shacking-before-marriage YEARS earlier with the condition that the co-shacker's intent was to marry me. Anyway, as hubby spent that summer fixing up the house, it gave me alot of opportunities to be alone w/him but with my parent's approval---something that was still new for me. We were basically playing house by day, and I would race home, screeching breaks and tires to make my 2am curfew each night. YES---a curfew at age 23!! But I was still living under their roof/rules...but I digress.

One beautiful, sunny Saturday morning, not long into our "This Old House" adventure, I was heading to the love shack for a day of painting and playtime after breakfast with my parents. We discussed each others' plans for the day and I took off. Shortly after arriving, hubby and I decided to get it ON--even though the only furniture we had for sleeping/sitting on at the time was this old hand-me-down sofa that laid down into a twin-sized bed--located in the living room. We didn't care---we were young and in love so we were very creative. Unfortunately, we were SO in love (and in lust) we didn't hear my father's car drive up, nor the knocks at the front door. Suddenly, just as we reached the crescendo of our morning love session, there's a knocking on the living room window!! It was my PARENTS! What were THEY doing there? Weren't they supposed to be grocery shopping or whatever other errand they'd mentioned would be happening MILES away from our house? Shades drawn, it was pretty clear from OUTSIDE that there was no PAINTING going on...yet they insisted on being welcomed into our new abode. So I pulled the "BD move" and high-tailed it to the bathroom w/my clothes. Hubby goes to the door, zipping pants and forgetting his shirt and also not having thought to dry the sweat from his face---so it's dripping down his shoulders. I didn't SEE any of this in time, though, as I was in a mad tangle w/my undies in the bathroom. From what I heard later, hubby was speaking about 3 octaves higher than normal when he addressed my parents "HEY Dad!! Mom! What are ya'll up to today?!" as if he were expecting their arrival and just babbling like an idiot. Guilty as F*CK! Ever the jokester/smart@ss, I knew knew my dad wouldn't use that particular opportunity to humiliate me and he didn't disappoint. He, like the myself, acted as if nothing was out of the norm. My mother, on the other hand, was never one to bite her tongue. She approaches me in the bathroom (yes---she came to where she knew I was pulling my sh*t together!!) and says "Next time, make sure he finishes zipping up and is dressed and dries off before he answers the door."

This happened 15 years ao, even now my cheeks are red and I want God to open up the earth and swallow me whole...LOL

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

ROTF! I absolutely love you Cocoa!!!

I think I've only been caught by the cops in the park with a ex girl of mines. Never been caught with a dude tho. Hmmmmmmmm...I need to take more risk! LoL


Anonymous said...

~Blaq~ reminded me of another unforgettable caught-in-the-act moment I had! My highschool BF and I were around 19 or 20 and we snuck into a local park just before dusk. Not realizing the park closed at dark---we were getting it ON--on a picnic table in pitch-black darkness with legs all up in the air. In the missionary position w/him standing on the ground, I suddenly saw lights coming up from behind him---FLASHLIGHTS. It was the COPS! And what does HE do? He pulls away from me, leaving me COMPLETELY exposed for the whole Fairfax County Police Department to see! As we are scrambling to get dressed again and are being led to the squad cars, the male officer says to me "Uhh Ma'am? Did you want to take those with you?" In my rush I had forgotten to get my panties!! We got off easy though--tresspassing on county property. Just a fine---but a story to keep telling thru the ages! LOL

Darius T. Williams said...

Boy - this is hilarious!

Um, i've never been caught having sex...unless you count that one time I was 13 and was caught jacking off.

My mother was about to walk past my bedroom and based on her angle, she saw me, I didn't see her. I really don't remember what happened. I just know I felt ackward and we've never talked about it.

That Dude Right There said...

I had given my best friend a key to my apartment to use when he came into town. A guy I was dating took me on a date and then back to my house where we were sexing on the edge of the sofa (i can't even describe the position). All of a sudden, I hear a key in a lock and the door open. My best friend and another friend walked in and screamed. Then they just closed the door and left. Me and old dude just paused, laughed and proceeded.

A few minutes later, I got a text message. When I read it, it said "you nasty whore"

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

They screamed?! How do you show up unannounced to someone elses house?! LMAO. And Kahlualady, you are off the hook! I luv you!!! ROTF!

Wait, now that I think about it, I did get caught getting head from a dude in my car once. Hmmmmmmm...still


One Man’s Opinion said...

Hell, you sounds like you did swallow the bird. LOL.

Anyway, let me just agree with you that WANTED was Great! Loved it, loved it. Two thumbs up.

Second, this post sounded like the most low budgeted porno ever. LOL. You paint a great story.

So, do you parents and 'nem not know that you have sex? No, that is yet another attempt at humor on my part. I get it. I have been trying to decide if there was ever a time I was caught in the act of making love....I can't think of one. Now if you had said, masturbation...or watching porno, well that's a whole other story.

Raw Thoughts said...

I have never been caught!

D-Place said...

LOL this was funny! Was almost caught by a roommate. My friend was staying with us at the time. I called him from work and told him to be on the living room floor nekkid when I got home. Well he was and we went to work. In the middle of this I hear the key in the door. It was my roommate. We had a long hallway in the apt then led to our bedrooms from the living room...and although we ran to my room to hide before the door opened. My friend tripped and I fell on top of him. My roommate just busted up laughing even long after we were in the confines of my room. So embarrassing that we stayed in my room for a long time. but after awhile need to come out to pee so we quietly opened my door to sneak to the bathroom. And there my roommate was in the hallway laughing again. That bastard.

fuzzy said...

A short time after Shawn and I met, Shawn's best friend Omar busts into the bedroom and there I am ass up! Thus my name Fuzzy!

Joey Bahamas said...

LMAO @ Fuzzy!!!

Cocoa...yall were doing shows. You need to sit all of that messing around down! LOL

I guess you got to get it in where ever you can fit it in! Luv...


Chet said...

That was risky business for sure. Man you know better, but it is always better when you sneaking, and besides you missed your man and your bed so you needed an outlet just to calm your nerves.

I certainly appears that you were rasied by a loving and caring set of parents. Having them come visit you must have been a delightful treat (especially Mother's home cooking).

The part where you had to do a mad dash into the kitchen to wash your face and hands with Apple Dishwashing Lquid is a hoot!

I am sure you looked like the cat that swallowed the bird! Gots to be more careful.