Friday, December 10, 2010

Seek & Ye Shall Find

A friend shared with me that she became irate when she came across some disturbing information while perusing through her boyfriend’s mobile phone. When I asked what she was doing intruding on her boyfriend’s privacy, she stated that if there’s nothing to hide, then it really isn’t intruding. Uh…no.

THE GOLDEN RULE: Anything done in the dark will come to light; also, seek and you will find.

We are all blessed with a sense of intuitiveness that allows us to sense when something is genuinely wrong. I always advise that you trust and follow your ability to feel when something is wrong or off. That said, it is disrespectful and unnecessary to intrude on anyone’s privacy by accessing their personal mobile device, their personal belongings, etc.

I’ve come to understand that adults flirt, speak privately with and even divulge information to individuals outside of their relationship. If we read into every tidbit of information NOT intended for us, we will be on a consistent state of alert and stress. This leads to – at times – unwarranted accusations that can only stand to weaken the healthy communication in a partnership or worse even, push your partner to do something they never intended to do, since they feel they are already being accused of it.

LONG STORY SHORT: If you don’t trust your partner you should consider dismantling the relationship, since no relationship is worth living your life feeling like peril is around the corner. Your mistrust can sometimes serve as the impetus to negative behavior. Communicate openly with your partner and share when you feel a sense of insecurity. Never resort to violating someone’s privacy, since the intended result rarely leads to a positive outcome. Know that once you discover something through deceptive or intrusive means, you can rarely share the information with your partner to rectify the matter.

Like most things, if you seek, you will find. Stop looking for reasons to be dissatisfied and enjoy your partner for all the positive virtues they have. No one feels a sense of love toward an insecure nag who violates their privacy.

IN CLOSING: Love your partner and establish “deal breakers” early on. Once both partners are clear what is acceptable and unacceptable for their relationship they can make intelligent decisions as to how they conduct themselves in their relationship. At this stage in the game I am less willing to compromise, but a lot more mature about weighing what’s important in the long run.

Keep passin’ the open windows…

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