Mood Music: Uninvited (Alanis)
Crossing Bridges When You Come to ThemIt’s been a whirlwind several months for BD and I and we’ve enjoyed every bit of it. We’ve grown to know each other better; including the things that send us over the edge. The Minnie and I have also bonded and have a great time when we hang together. Like all pots that come to a boil, you have to turn the heat down and let them simmer if you want the flavor to go through them. In addition, I’ve been in an odd slump. My friend Wonderful Counselor (WC) said that my upcoming vacation may be just what I need to restore my verve and effervescence. Quite honestly, I hope so. I’m beginning to have questions regarding my future with BD creep into my mind. For example, is our current coast mode attributable to the many issues that surround our next steps? The next obvious steps would require a greater commitment and sharing our relationship with his close family. We have not had a conversation surrounding what – if any – next steps we are both willing to take. When the conversation about announcing our relationship to his family has come up, he reassures me that, “They’ll just need to deal with it…” referring to his close friends and family. So far the only one “dealing” with the standstill is me. I don’t know that I’m clear on what I expect and how soon before I would be anxious about the lack of forward momentum. For now, I’ll bask in the sun, enjoy the love and get my toll money out in preparation for that upcoming bridge.
A Crush On Mom
Jan Kilgore lived with her 78-year old mom, Gloria Littlefield, in Somersworth, New Hampshire. Littlefield had suffered a mild stroke recently that left her weak on one side; she’s also said to have suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. On Saturday, Kilgore was backing her pick-up truck down the driveway when she accidentally ran over her mom. She was pronounced dead from her internal injuries a short time later. New Hampshire police said that Kilgore faces no charges and that this was just a terrible accident.
My Bruh-Bruh’s a Grown ManWilliam, my baby brother, turned 21 yesterday. A naturally charming, good-hearted, well meaning guy, Will is now officially a man! It seems like just yesterday that I was watching Will put on his favorite little suit and clip-on tie. He was the model son I couldn’t be to my dad and he always made me feel he has the warmest heart of all my siblings. Happy birthday Will! May you stay forever young!!
On Blast
We all take a moment on Thanksgiving to celebrate what we’re most grateful for. If you were asked to take your most prized material possession and hand it to someone at a soup kitchen this Thanksgiving, could you do it?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
11 comments:
Not unlike many Rap artists, Alanis can leave you scratching your head and asking, "What the fuck did she just say?!" Well, she's actually really deep and talented...after looking up the lyrics, you may just come to love Alanis as much as I do...
"Uninvited"
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
Yup - I could...but um, hey Will!!!
Yo, Coacoa...I thought about the final question you posed and I don't think I have a priced possession. So, I was wondering what your price possession would be and wanted you to answer it yourself.
"A Crush on Mom" - Hilarious what you gather from the internet. Jan Kilgore is like a mother to me. Grandma Glory was just starting to show the signs of Alzheimers, but was not diagnosed. Jan couldn't back down her driveway...there's no hill.
I'll come back to see you regularly, due to the fact that you chose my best friend's tragedy out of all the crap out there on the internet to blog on.
Sorry - they're family, had to set the record straight. She already has to deal with the small-town mentality where she lives, "oh that's Jan, she ran over her mother and killed her...."
Peace.
Let's see...if I had to nominate one of my humble belongings it would be my Palm Treo...live on the thing.
Wow Sammygirl...small world. I chose this story because I was both saddened and curious...
1. Anyone who would hurt their mom - even by accident - would be devastated. I can't imagine what it would be like to kill her.
2. I wondered if this was in fact an accident.
Thanks for the search, find and clarification. I'm sure many of us were curious as to the grading of the driveway over at the scene.
Sammygirl -
My condolensces for your loss, but now I am at a loss. You didn't set the record straight for us....
Glory had the beginnings of Alzheimers and there was no hill, so how did all of this happen? No one said the Internet was the place to go for accuracy, but please do tell us what happened so that we know why you are visiting and why you feel you need to set the record staright. If anything I am more confused than I was before, and thats in addition to my own Alzheimers setting in.
May Granny Glory rest in peace.
Cas608
Bear with me, I do not have all the details - Jan lives on a corner of a somewhat busy street. Backing out of her driveway causes her to back into oncoming traffic, tricky on a good day. (That's why I said that she can't back "down" her driveway - it goes right into the street, no hill.)
Regarding the Alzheimers, I don't think there was any official diagnosis from a doctor.
This is a tight knit family. Jan's son was my best friend from college. It's just a shame, and thank you all for your condolences.
Re: Gloria Littlefield
She was my mother and I am the one who backed into her from my driveway. She was on the opposite side of the roadway, probably coming down from a set of stairs that are on a hillside. It is a very busy corner that I live on. I think I backed up just as she stepped from the curb area onto the street. Neither of us saw the other one as far as I know. She had some undiagnosed alheimers, mixing up names, not knowing whose birthday it was, even mine, but knowing the day was significant for some reason. Waking up at 8pm after a nap and thinking it was the next morning and taking her meds all over again. Yes,I know people may wonder how this happened, please keep in mind I am a careful driver, no accidents, one speeding ticket in the 40 years I have been driving. I was my mothers primary caregiver and caretaker bringing her to appointments, pharmacy, grocery shopping, etc. for the last 27 years that she lived with me. I loved my mother. She was a kind and giving woman who loved her children and grandchildren and great grandchildren, helping raise us all. Like Sammy says she has known me since 1998 when she went to college with my son. I love this woman and she is as close to me as possible. Her children are considered by me to be my grandchildren. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. Please, I know you mean no harm by your remarks, but this was a horrible, horrible accident and we all miss my mother terribly. All our lives have changed dramatically. I must now learn to live with this terrible accident, and believe me it isn't easy. Jan K.
Jan K...
First, please accept my deepest empathy for your loss. Although the accident may have appeared bizzare from a stranger's perspective, it suddenly has taken on a human face and a tragic reality. I sincerely hope that you understand that yours was a story I chose at random from a host of Associated Press stories and not a personal attack on any kind. If nothing else has come of our interaction, please know that your personal response to my innocuous blog posting has given me pause with regard to the pain of others. My best to you and yours.
I know this is a few years old but I have never commented until now...sum people u cannot just forgive and forget. i sat there and cried thinking of how u took my grandma away before she ever got to meet my daughter. my daughter will always know of her grandmother tho. And u pushed ur brother away..even tried to cast the blame of all this on him when he was miles away in georgia. u don't talk to us at all anymore and u know what..it doesn't hurt me. u never even acted as if i was alive all these years so what difference do u think it makes now? family is family and as i said sum things are not as forgivable as u wish...u took a lot away from all of us on that november day and we won't ever forget grammy.
luv u grammy and still think about u and grandpa all the time.
Anonymous -
As a good friend of Jan's, I must respond to your post.
Your whole family suffered from this accident - which is what it was, an accident - no one more so than Jan, as this was her mother. Have you ever thought about how you would want your family to treat you if you, God forbid, ever ran your mother over on accident, and killed her?? Perhaps you would look for some compassion and love, some support - and could you accept it in your heart if they did not forgive YOU?
Forgiveness is for YOUR benefit, not for Jan's. Whether or not you forgive her is up to YOU, but you can live your life angry at her forever, OR you can find a place in your heart to be at peace with what happened. I think what Jan wishes for is for her mother to be here with her and her family today. Don't forget, there were two young children - Jeremy and Heather - that were very close to Gloria, who had to find it in their heart to forgive Jan - their Grandmother - and make sense of something crazy. I'm know Jan wishes for forgiveness from her other family as well, and those that truly love her and accept her, have forgiven her, regardless if they are still hurt by what happened.
I don't know you - so feel free to let me know that - and I'm not going to come on here and act like I do. I can only express to you that I know what Jan has been through, as I've tried to give her as much support as possible through this ordeal. I just felt, from reading this, that someone should give "her side" of this. There's always many sides - and then there is the truth.
Take care, and God Bless you and your family.
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