On Sunday morning as I felt the slight nausea and joint pain coming on I assumed it was just a sign of my breaking the body down harder than I should have. For the record, I’ve been running 4 to 4.5 miles per day, 5 days a week. Yes, I’m trying to burn off the hard-gripping holiday girth I managed to load on since late October. I have a tendency to put on weight pretty quickly and lose it just as quickly. I don’t need to be told about the dangers of yo-yo weight changes, but it seems to be my body’s natural reaction to increased calories and/or increased caloric burns. That said, I went from a svelte 148 lbs. in late September to a Rican-thickness 163 lbs. by my last weigh-in late December. Was I shocked? Yeah, I was. Especially since the goal had been to take it down to 145 lbs. – not up to the 160s. Let’s keep in mind that while most of you are sporting over six foot frames, I stand 5’7” and it’s difficult to not show weight on shorter frames. …but I digress…the subject of this Whoda Thunk It is how after taking a flu shot in November and eating healthy, working out like a post-partum A-list celebrity, I managed to get bagged by the flu! I spent MLK weekend having a dream of feeling physically well again. I missed work yesterday and spent the bulk of my time between delirium and diarrhea….yeah, not a pretty sight. The good part is that by about 8:00 p.m. on Tuesday night my body began rebounding. I had enough strength to get up, get bathed (and we won’t talk about smelling like Campbell’s Onion Soup and Garlic Plantains either) and get my clothes ready for the morning. I can’t really complain about my two-and-a-half day flu run-in. Now, I hold my breath for my baby. When he left the office he was throwing up and having hot flashes. I’ll keep my distance…I mean, my fingers crossed.
Jared?! Nipple Twin Power, Activate!
My baby from B-Mo’, little J-Shan pointed out that he didn’t realize I was pierced – even mentioned that he was pierced as well. About two years ago, I had one of those amazing epiphanies and wanted to get tattooed and pierced; both on the same night. Two hours later I came out of the shop with a new look and a new lease on life. The tat and the piercing signified my being as young, relevant and alive as I wanted to be. To this day my tat and my piercing bring a mischievous smile to my face every time I look at them. So, celebrate your piercing Jared! You definitely showed your resilience early on…in many ways it’s what I most admire about you. Your ability to say what you think, do what you want and live without reservations. Much love pa!On Blast
Can the older gay community serve as mentors to the younger gay men or are we more like Crocodiles, ready to devour even our own young?
As young gay men, do you really give a fuck what the older gay community says or thinks?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
17 comments:
Uncle Cocoa!! I wuv u and I'm so glad you're better!! I am so proud and honored to not only be shouted out on your blog but also be the first one to comment on this post! I really do wish tou luck on your weight goals. Personally, I like you better thick... you look filled out, plus when I was a bit thicker, my clothes always fit bigger which gave the IlLuSiOn that I had a bigger ass (which is NEVER a minus).... Now as for your afterthought, I always knew that I wanted tattoos, but I was never too fond of piercings. The day after I graduated (June 11, 07), I was watching this porno (teehee) and I saw this guy with his nipple pierced and I was like "Hey! That's hot! I want that!" and just ike that the decision wad made and that day I got my "tottie" pierced and I've never looked back. Granted, it was painful and 2 infections ensued, but hey, Im still standin' strong.
Now, as for your little old generation, young generation remark, let me just say this. Ever since I started blogging a little more than a year ago, you have always been genuinely concerned with any situation that I brought to the table whether it has been sex, relationships, clothes, religion, etc., so if I don't listen to anything anyone else says to me ever, just know that what you say will be taken to heart. And I know that I'm not the only one that feels that either. Thank you for everything . You r an AMAZING person, and as I mature in mindset and in age, I hope I can say that I am half of the man u r. I lubb you man! Now where are those damn Kleenex???!!!
In the eternal words of Della Reese to Eddie Murphy in Harlem Nights (circa 1989) "I love that boy..."
First,
I am glad that you are on your way to feeling your best again. I'm just 5'7 also and I wish I was taller and as far as my weight goes I think I will always bee skiinny. I always wanted to get a tattooe but never any piercings. For one I am not fond of needles of any sort... lol. If I can get pass the thought of pain than maybe, just maybe I will get one this year. Will see.
So let's see - I just noticed you were pierced from the pictures. I'm not sure how I feel about that - I guess it makes me no nevermind. Jason is pierced - both nipples and his tongue. And, the boy has I think 8 tattoos and wants more. He wants me to get one - um, hell naw, I'm not into pain like that.
So - to answer your question. I honestly think it's rare to really find a general population of older gays that act as mentors. Now a days the olders are trying to get the youngins for various reasons - reclaim their youth, still prove that they've got it, sex, or just to have a show piece. And, that's cool if that's what you're into. But to find older gays who are established, grounded, rooted, successful, and have a great lease on life who really have wisdom and knowledge nuggets to share - well, that's so random and far and few between.
I'd love to see more older gays embrace us youngers. But chances are the things I face - older gays can't relate. Well, not all older gays can relate. I'm not your stereotypical hetero and I have plenty of friends that aren't either - so, I don't know - it just becomes weird. Maybe you should quit your job and start a social services agency that offers mentoring programs to the LGBTQ community and Wednesday nights is Cooking w/Cocoa lessons...we all will have to purchase coochie-coochie fruity head dresses in order to be in the class - lol.
-DTW
You know what?!? I would put you over my knee but my arthritis has been flarin' up! You really showin' yo' ass D! Go to your room...take off your clothes and wait for me there! LOL
That does it...I can see my koochie-koochie fruity headdress will not be appreciated duirng our April Blogger Family Reunion, so I'm not bringing it! :::::: Turns and rips off headdress and matching fruit thong. Throws them in 'what not to wear' box:::::
You boyz have more answers than I can ever come up with, so mentoring one of you heathens seems unrealistic! LOL
You guys have been equal parts mentors and heartwarmers for me... you've prevented me from getting old and jaded.
LMAO not jaded though! You get too smart! Now you take your clothes off and wait for me.
You only 5'7? damn u short! lol I'm only 5'6 1/2 though too. =) SO i def understand about the weight thang. I been 155-160 forever, but the funny thing about it is that I am bigger than I have been, but the weight only shows up in my gut and ass. I need to get back to the gym!
But I have one tattoo, and I want 2 more, which I keep meaning to blog about. I had my ears pierced but those have prolly closed, but I do have a brand.
And I would become friends with a younger person in a minute, but people think u always tryna fuck with someone, but on the other hand that's what a lot of people are trying to do.
But we really need to mentor the youngins more and stop tryna get in they pants!
DLJ! No you didn't say 5'6" and throw in some darn 1/2?!! You better come to the gathering...I need to be taller than someone! Gut I can do without, but if any weight went to my butt I'd be fine!
Jared...you gonna make these folks think I'm tryin' to blow out your back...hence ruining the mentor/mentee relationship we share...LOL
Fo' real folks...we have varying ages on here and we all stand to gain and learn from each other...the young get some wisdom and the old get some hip quotient. LOL
This is an interesting post. I was just having a similar discussion with a friend about this the other day. Most of my friends and I are turning 30 this year and we find that this seems to be like the gay middle-age, unlike our straight counterparts who aren't considered middle-aged until at least 40. We attributed it the fact that as gay men we place so much emphasis and value on youth.
With that said, it's a curious place to be in. Young enough to still act a fool sometimes but certainly old enough to know better.
I guess with young and older gays, it's a matter of the relationship and respect that is established initially and maintained. I know still value the wisdom and advice passed down to me by my gay fore-"mothers" and I find myself passing it down to the generation coming after me.
Hmmmmmmmm interesting topic. First and foremost, Yuck to nipple piercings...they scare me! LoL. But yea for the free spirit in ya'll to get them. (I'm still shivering just thinkin about it...lol).
Second, you know I've always gotten along better with older people because of my interest. I find I have much more fluid conversations with peeps in their mid 30's and 40's. As for advise, I give advice to anyone that's willing to hear it and I find that in the gay community it's (I don't wanna say 'rare')...slightly tougher to find career minded, successful black gay men. Given my location I've met a few more than the average bear, but all in all we are hard to come by. I agree that we have a strong foundation of intellectual black gay family here in blog land and each of us should tap into it every now and again.
~Damnit!
Going by these pictures your body is fine...what are you talking about?
Wait...not delirium and diarrhea. Thanks for the visual.
And not twin nipple power...you two are a mess.
As for the question of the day...I like to take note from anybody who has something worthwhile to offer. I don't care if you're young, old, gay, straight...I don't care. I'm not too good to learn a lesson from someone else's experiences.
You know Cocoa...I do have a thing for boys of the shorter kind! LOL
I guess I am very lucky to have found my gay mother, and the rest of my gay family. Mommy, aunties and uncles....they are all older than me, much older in some cases...but they have been every bit of supportive and loving towards me. Feeding me when I have no food, getting me together on my labels, and showing me how to deal with boys. I am so appreciative to them for it all. I moved to DC on my own, without friends or family living here. And, at about two years into it now, I have an army of people that would go to war for me just because they because I'm "daughter", "niece-pooh", "god-sister" and "Pussykat" (as I am commonly referred to), and because they love me...
Careful Joey...I'm an older man with a fetish for gettin' a little rough and pullin' hair...
Glad you've found supportive older mentors in our community!
The hair fetish is evident by your obsession with Ms. Sanjaya last year.... Don't think I forgot...
Awww...you remembered Baby J!
You know what you get for a good memory right? LOL
my deceased uncle Eli was my mentor without him even knowing it. before i could even identify what gay was, i admired his style, wit, success and looks. i always wonder how my life would've turned out if he were still alive.
as a young guy, i learned it's better to listen twice as much as you speak. being a mentor only goes over when the youngster wants to stop, listen, and learn.
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