Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Morning Edition - 1/29/08
Time; Spend It Wisely
It really isn’t where your man is, but where he wants to be… As I jam to Keyshia Cole’s CD and hit that Let It Go tune, I’m sure….sure that this cannot be me. I’m a firm believer in my man being with ME and wanting to be with ME. I won’t speak to where I’ve been, where I was, what I’ve done – we’re talking about the here and now. If he isn’t going to love you or treat you the way he should (or better yet, the way you need him to) then drop it. Which brings me to a conversation I had with MWC (My Wonderful Counselor) last night about my relationship with BD; basically, I was saying to MWC that as beautiful as everything is, we all have goals and should stick to them. These goals include healthy and logical growth in my relationship. I have a mental timeline that I allow to serve as my framework. What happens if BD and I don’t fit that timeline? Simple, I’ll revisit what my priorities are and determine whether my goals have changed or if it is time to make priorities a reality elsewhere.
“If he ain’t gonna love you the way he should, then let him go.” That’s what the song says, but many of us have enough trouble finding the right man and letting the right man go because he doesn’t fit the framework we’ve set seems a daunting task. So, here’s the question…
On Blast
Do you recognize that you may block your blessings (and who that blessing is intended with) if you do not cut your losses with certain folks in your life and move on?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
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16 comments:
Yes - this is a great question. But, to answer is very difficult because your actions at a certain time are all relative - and we know the degree of relativity always determines the outcome. Like Jason and I for example - I have a goal to finish my mba, become a big time corporate hot shot, and move to nyc. I want him w/me. But, what happens when the time comes - do I just up and leave OR do I work out another plan. It's all relative. But you know, either way, yup - we can definitely block our blessings.
This is definitely a lesson I've picked up recently. I think fear is the greatest inhibitor to getting to the place where we belong...to getting to our success. I'm no longer afraid to cut the dead weight and sail free and since I've started doing that, I think I've found someone special that I can share my blessings with.
JB
what's scary is that I was listening to this very song on my ipod as I was reading this post.
sometimes that happens, I know in the past I would keep folks around and It just seemed like negative energy was thick in the room, but as I've gotten older, I have found that sometimes you have to cut folks out, because they are holdin me back. Once I trimmed the fat, I started achieving my goals and livin for me
For clarification sake, I'm not implying that BD is holding me back OR that he's getting cut off...just that anyone (including BD) needs to grow with me and within OUR acceptable timelines to make a relationship work. I guess I wanted to convey that NO ONE - not even someone as special to me as BD - should have you feel trapped or hold you back from your destiny. Remember, if you're doing it all on your own and experiencing your life ALONE, but are in a relationship, then you need to rethink your current state of affairs. That's what I'm saying... ; )
I struggle with this from time to time... I think it's easier said than done a lotta times
Hmmmm...this is a hard question that I'm not sure I can answer. You know, I've found that in the past I ran from situations which is easier than staying and making shyt work...compromising. These are not my strong points but I'm trying everyday. I agree that sometimes you have to trim the fat off in order to achieve your goals but that could be so hard sometime. The hardest part is once you've cut them and you realize down the road that you didn't do enough to make the relationship work... *Sigh*
~Damnit!
Cutting people out of my life! What a radical idea!!!!
Who determines these "cuts"- you? Or, should the instructions come from God?
If you spend some times getting to know what God wants you to do, then cutting folks away would never occur. That means you are destroying your own self and blocking your own blessing based on YOUR own will.
Hmmm...why Lawd...
That said, the Lord gave me plenty of sense to make my cuts...you do you..I'll do me pa. You keep waitin' on the Lord...besides, you strike me as the type that gets cut back, not the one cutting anyone back. ...but hey, that's just me.
I believe God would want us to keep people away from us who act like spiritual vampires...people who are so negative and so detrimental to our spiritual journey that they drain us of our ability to stay on the straight and narrow, for, as you know Captain, the road to damnation is all wide and on the outside. With that being said, I also know that we block our blessings by not being forgiving and tolerant. Tolerance has its limits though. If you are physically harming me or causing me mental or emotional stress and/or anguish then I have no other choice but to cut you loose.
I have to work on cutting some residual feelings of disgust and anger loose. I need prayer folks. Pray for me. I am a work in progress. A butterfly in a cocoon trying to work things out. With the help of my friends and a lot of soul searching I hope to emerge as a butterfly - able to fly and be free from the bondage of being unable to let go of all that pain!
Its best to let people go and pray for them. Let it go indeed.
Cas
I completely laughed one of my friends out. He told me he is back with the dude he broke up with two days because he keeps admitting to cheating on him. I was like wtf. The dudes keeps telling you he slept with other people and he straight up disrespected you when you were breaking up with you. I mean, he clowned your a**.
I am so glad you wrote this. I find it hard to let people go though. And it's not letting go in the sense of "we're not going to talk anymore". It's moreso letting go in "you might be of value to me someday, so just stay a few more years". That's where I fail at.
I'm going to email you something, I know you'll enjoy.
So, our finite common "sense" have more power than the will of God for our lives?
Queer Kid...loved your e-mail...thanks so much!
Keep passin' the open windows... ; )
I am working on this. It's hard esp. depending on the relationship status I have with that person(s).
i'm quick to cut people off, but sometimes i wonder if they are the ones cutting themselves off. i don't ask for much, but if you can't do what i asked you to, then all the other stuff is irrelevant.
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