Friday, February 08, 2008

Afternoon Edition - 2/8/08

Educating Rita
It has been a few years since I was in a serious relationship and an even longer time since I felt the need to AGAIN educate my straight brethren on proper etiquette when interacting with gay couples. When in doubt – treat gay relationship as you would straight relationships. Do not deviate from your observed levels of respect, as doing so usually results in awkward moments.

If you’re still a bit confused, here is the hard and fast rule: If you would be uncomfortable or you would be thought of as disrespectful by pulling said stunt with your straight friends, know that it is EXACTLY the same reaction felt by the gay community.

So, for the record…
** If as a straight man, you would not care for your girlfriend/wife to be manhandled by her straight male friends, chances are gay partners don’t care to have their partner pawed by the masses.
** If it would annoy you to have your boyfriend go out with girls from his neighborhood on the slide – even if they were ‘lipstick lesbians,’ - then chances are, gay partners would be irritated to have straight folks take their partner out on the town.
** If an argument or disagreement ensues with you and your girlfriend you want friends in your circle to be sympathetic. Well, as it turns out, gay couples would like the same thing. Gay relationships aren’t any more or less important and therefore the SAME feelings are being experienced by the partners in question. Be empathetic and sympathetic that they are going through the same thing you would.

All said, strive to treat ALL couples, equally and show ALL couples equal respect. The misunderstanding you may avert may be your own.

On Blast
Female couples appear to have more serious issues dealing with straight men that disregard female-female relationships, but don’t sleep on the females, they too can step out of line with one or both male partners.
Tell us of an incident when you’ve witnessed a straight person stepping out of line with regard to a gay relationship. (If you’re straight, tell us of an incident involving a disrespectful gay counterpart.)

Keep passin’ the open windows…


fuzzy said...

I understand that you need to treat any relationship, regardless of the type, with the same respect. Is this in regard to friends or as a threat of cheating? I was a lil confused...

Cocoa Rican said...

Uh's not that serious or that personal pa...sometimes my posts are simply educational... ; )

Darius T. Williams said...

Great tips. But, I can't answer the question. The relationship I'm in now is really the first time for me where I've really felt as though I am an official couple. I mean, sure, there were relationships in the past - but I was young, they were young, whatever. We never did anything or hung out anywhere. So, now...w/Jason and I - it's different. We hang out - we do the couple thing w/other couples. We even carry on w/PDA sometimes. I've actually been kinda waiting on someone to look at us crazy or say something - but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe people really don't care - who knows. But anyway, yea, it hasn't happened where someone has kinda gotten outta control a bit. When it does - I'm gonna come back to this post- lol.

Anonymous said...

sorry to get off the subject of your question Cocoa...but did anyone see VH-1 Behind the Music: New Edition? Booby Brown looks like a straight crack head, twisting his jaw talking all crazy, and if you look closely into his mouth his teeth are rotten (or missing).
This is some scary ish....!
The boy never could carry a note, he always sounded like he was straining to move his bowels...their first manager did them diiiirrrtttyyyyy. This is nightmarish beyond belief. Johnny Gill can sang though.

Back to your question: I dont think I ever witnessed a situation like this...and I don't know why a straight person would risk their dignity by trying to step to anyone's partner. Some people are just stupid I guess.

E said...

Good discussion and definitely some good tips. I can't really think of any examples myself where a straight person disrespected a gay couple. Then again Rock and I try to keep a low profile, even though I'm sure when we recently shopped together at Trader Joes with one cart that folks knew what time it was...*LOL*.