Monday, August 21, 2006

Morning Edition - 8/21/06

The DC Delegation
Thank you Vern and gals for a wonderfully different night out in NYC last night – well, this morning. Vern and his girls are up in Gotham for a few days and I joined them last night to knock back a couple and shake our shimmies a bit. NYC took a liking to Vern and his daily work-outs did not go unnoticed by the NYC boyz. My sis Taqua was also in NYC this weekend – looks like DC gave folks free passes to NYC this weekend – but unfortunately I was saddled with babysitting duties on Friday night and missed out on seeing her. I plan to be in DC in early September and hope to see all my DC family then.

Dating, the Untold Story
Although I haven’t quite mastered the art of dating, my social calendar has been quite full the last couple of weeks. It appears I have a resurgence of popularity. Rather than boast, suffice to say that it really is feast or famine. Right now, brother is cookin’ with hot grease and a gas stove. So far I haven’t quite “nailed” down a good candidate for long-term status, but there are still a few dates scheduled for this week, so I’ll keep an open mind. My new-found dating extravaganza is based in part to my giving folks a fair shot regardless of the various “rules” I had set in the past. I don’t intend to compromise on core values, but it won’t hurt me to shake things up a bit and veer from the norm.

On Blast
During this morning’s breakfast discussion, the conversation turned to the down low and whether the phenomenon is brought about by calculating and dishonest men trying to get their freak on OR if the dishonesty is a direct result of women’s inability to deal with a man’s honesty if he stated he also dated men. Are women setting men up to lie OR are the men just dogs that would do it even if they were in a nurturing situation that allowed for full disclosure? Should women accept partial responsibility for the down low? Could you date a man if he is in a monogamous relationship with you, but admits to having slept with men in the past?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Women have nothing to do with brothers on the DL, at least I don't think so. I believe the DL man has issues with his own sexuality and wants nothing to do with accepting the fact that he desires both sexes. If he accepts that he would have to accept a label of being either bisexual or homosexual, because it's in the open and no more DL. He ain't about to do that so to me it has no bearing on a woman's acceptance or not. Are they dogs? I don't want to call them that. Are they greedy? Very. Are they confused? Possibly and in the need of serious couch time.

caspar608 said...

anyone on the DL is in need of serious couch time indeed.
Most of the time, its becasue they KNOW that their mate would not approve of the switch hitting. If you have courage in your convictions, then live your life openly. OTher wise you are just another Mr. McMillan. Or Mrs. DOubtfire. WHo the hell knows or cares anymore really. We are who we are....and it is what it is.

Anonymous said...

Ok, the DL phenomenon is really getting on my nerves. I do feel for the women and children whose lives have been negatively affected by the exposure of their loved ones desires for the same sex. Women, black and white have been dealing with men secretively sleeping with men for years if they were made aware of the situation or not. There always have been and there will always be a particular group of people women, men, black, white or whatever wanting their sexual desires to be kept a secret. You can call it what you want, but nothing is going to change. I am not condoning the behavior, but human nature is a mother and there’s nothing that can be done unless the doer can accept what they are doing and wants to get help.

Personally would not date a man that has previously dated another man so having a monogamous relationship w/ him would not even apply.

Redhotmamagirl

Cocoa Rican said...

Okay…first, thank you to the ladies at breakfast early this morning. You were sincere, open, honest and realistic. That said, based on previous postings on this subject and the subject of relationships, I sincerely believe men who live life on the down low are really damned if they do; and damned if they don’t. If they share this proclivity with their partner, they risk an almost certain end to their relationship (as witnessed in the dismissive tone of previous postings) and if they remain silent about their double-life and are discovered they are dirty dogs. You know, there is that chance that their female partner will never be the wiser. Truth be told ladies, there are countless men who live this double life effectively and are never discovered. It is this good chance that encourages the down low behavior. Also, I wonder why some women would accept a womanizing man, but would find it impossible to deal with a man who has ever had interactions with other men – but that sounds like a topic for another blog question. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and the down low men (though dead wrong for lying, deceiving and betraying their partners) do attribute some of that shame and hiding to the consequences that would be unleashed by their honesty.