Truth Is; Leopards and Their Spots
It is often said that a leopard can’t change his/her spots. I’ve often related this to instances where someone with negative traits will not make a positive change and become a better person; they will simply change temporarily to achieve a set goal. The saying doesn’t necessarily have to be aligned with a negative connotation, since the leopard in question could have positive spots it can’t change either. All said, my current internal debate is whether I’m able (or even willing) to change a personality trait that I believe is an intrinsic foundation block of who I am. My past has shown me to be a giving person, but one who is also very priority driven – that is, I tend to focus my attention and affections on those that mean a great deal to me AND those that I appear to hold an equally important position in their lives. I don’t invest much time in people who don’t appear to have much time for me. By doing so, I feel the greater good is served. I am reciprocating and cultivating strong bonds with like-interest individuals. Like-interests in that we both appear to have a vested desire to be important to each other. However, there are times when people come into our lives and we find ourselves working a different method – a change of spots, if you will. We give, ask nothing in return and even accept a position of less priority in an effort to be selfless and make the relationship work. I return now to my first point – a leopard cannot change his/her spots. So what happens when I realize that my attempt to appear selfless isn’t rewarded or it becomes a consistent jostling for first place in someone’s life? I’ll tell you what happens…red-line frustration. I used this weekend to think about this dilemma. Like Donnie McClurkin, I’ve chosen to “Stand.” This means that until I establish that this isn’t a passing phase or recurring issue, I won’t roar in that see-me outburst that demands anything – least of all, attention I know I will willingly receive from other parties. Yes, there are instances when we must defer to a specific person or situation and accept that we are not the priority of the moment – ie. parents, children, fires – but there are also moments when you have to realize your worth and say, I am the priority or this interaction doesn’t work for me. Turns out, this leopard won’t change his spots. They’ve served me well just the way they are.
Throwing Pearls to the Swine
There’s a passage in the good book that mentions casting pearls to the swine – a metaphor for repeatedly attempting to deliver the word of God to folks who have no intention of paying any mind to it. In my life a parallel metaphor has repeatedly occurred and I have held to the same logical train of thought. There are people in your life that don’t get it, never got it and will never get it. They make no bones about their inability or refusal to hear your concerns. In cases like these, my experience has taught me to ‘cut and keep stepping’. That’s right folks. You can repeat things to some folks until you’re blue in the face, but when they choose not to acknowledge you, it’s time to roll. Recently, I had a sibling of mine mention that I am a cold-hearted bitch that doesn’t care about anyone. It was their reaction to my applying my ‘cut and step’ program to our relationship. You see, I don’t really play favorites when it comes to the ‘cut and step’ program. Whether it’s siblings, my man or my best friends – the program is still the same. I believe in telling you how I feel, helping you understand how you make me feel and going forward, what we can do to make it better, but if you choose to disregard me, I take that as non-verbal communication – a ‘fuck you’ if you will. Hit up another jeweler for those pearls.
The greater fear…Is your fear of cutting someone out of your life, greater than the fear of losing yourself?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Morning Edition - 10/2/07
Truth Is; Leopards and Their Spots