Monday, March 31, 2008

Afternoon Edition - 3/31/08

Monday, 12:45 a.m.; Only One Thing to Do After A Long Weekend

Is This The Life?
All things being equal, I’m really glad I’m taking the time to think through my relationship with BD. He and I have reconnected and are having lengthy conversations about where we were, where we want to be and agreed that we would take some time to really think about our future carefully before making any definitive decisions on whether we will make our relationship work or resort to being friends. Presently, I’m clearer on where BD is and he is making every effort to narrow the divide between our differing periods of development. I think what gave me pause on my decision to end it all was that BD has proven to be worth waiting for – at least short term. This isn’t to say that I’m waiting indefinitely or that I’m committed to making this work no matter what – but we’re comfortable with recognizing that I cannot wait long and that he needs to tie up his loose ends if we stand a chance at making our relationship a forever thing. As we spent the entire weekend together, the feeling was one of romance, warmth and family. We spent an intimate Friday night – thanks to grandma for taking care of the Minnie – and then we picked up the Minnie on Saturday, had lunch, watched Horton Hears a Who and settled-in together for an evening of video games, dinner and old flicks. BD set-up my Christmas-gift TV in my bedroom and the Minnie sat at my pub table talking to me while I prepared a breakfast dinner Saturday night. When I joined him to eat dinner, he looked up and said, “Wow, these eggs are good. How did you make them?” I smiled, surprised since he’s never commented on my cooking before saying, “I use whipped butter and a secret ingredient.” He giggled and said, “Well, they’re great. This is the life!” We both laughed and BD walked in to find that we devoured the entire breakfast set-up. I sent the Minnie to wash his face and hands before playing his video games and started making a second batch of my ‘bomb-eggs’ for BD. As he propped himself up into the same chair the Minnie sat at moments earlier and I busied myself getting everything together he called out to me and I looked over to find him smiling widely, “I can really see us living this way everyday. I’m so happy right now.” I quickly shot back, “Yeah, yeah… just don’t get used to me preparing all the meals around here,” before we both broke out laughing and I admitted that, “Yeah, I can see us like this permanently too.” By Sunday night we were all worn out and BD looked chinky-eyed and sleepy. His chicken parmesan dinner went over well and our bellies were as full as our hearts. I laid across my bed and drifted off...BD walked to the corner and took a cab home. …so time will reveal and everything seems to be taking shape, so I’m asking myself, “Is this the life?”

On Blast
Careful what you ask for because you just might get it. After revealing to BD that I needed more, I deserved it all and that I would settle for nothing less, he is systematically making those requests a reality. I’m marveling on how he’s answering my challenge and making me accountable to hold up my end of the deal. Sometimes in life we’re unable to see our worth; we’re afraid to voice what our needs and desires are; we live frustrated believing that if we ask, we will not be satisfied.

What are you afraid to ask for that, if granted, would make you a much happier person?

Keep passin’ the open windows…


Anonymous said...

who you kiddin?
this situation reminds me of an old tune that used to play on VH-1 CONTINUOSLY...and back in the day it annoyed the hell out of me....but now...I kind of see your situation as this....

Dont Wanna Lose You - Gloria Estefan

sometimes It's hard to make things clear
or know when to face the truth
and I know when the moment is here
I'll open my heart and show you inside
my love has no pride
I feel with you I've got nothing to hide
so open your eyes and see who I'am
and not who you want for me to be
I am only myself, myself

I don't wanna lose you now
we're gonna get through somehow
I don't wanna lose you now or ever
'cause baby i've finally found
the courage to stand my ground
but if you want me, I'll be around forever

We all make mistakes
we all lose our way
but we stood the test of time and I hope
that's the way it will stay

It's all up to you, to tell me to go
'cause it won't be me to walk away
when you're all that I know
and I know ....

that I don't wanna lose you now
we're gonna get through somehow
I don't wanna lose you now or ever
'cause baby I've finally found
the courage to stand my ground
but if you want me, i'll be around forever

Awww. I love you guys!


Darius T. Williams said...

Ahh - I'm not afraid anymore - I took the stance...just waiting on the payoff. Either way - it will pay off.

That Dude Right There said...

I've never been one to be afraid to ask for anything. If I need it and you have the potential to make it happen, i'll be sure to ask.

fuzzy said...

Yea I learned that in praying and it can definitely carry over... Be very careful what you ask for...

I am reluctant to ask for things that are out there so far as sexual activities. Once you pass certain doors you can't go back. I don't know if I wish to venture down that road...

Joey Bahamas said...

First of all, Horton was a goooood movie, I was surprised. I'm glad to see that u and BD are working on things. It really makes me smile...I hope it the best...mwah!


j_shanlin said...

Now you know baby J had to come through! I'm sooo happy you and BD are getting it together. Maybe that transition from friend to more than friend was a little crazy, but as is the transition from caterpillar to butterfly (both ugly in my opinion, but I digress). And if things with you with BD don't work out, you already know that I'm available lmao!

Love ya Unc!

Kensilo said...

YAY to you and BD. And you look very peaceful sleeping in the pic.
Once we realize our self worth then it becomes easier to ask for what we truly deserve.

Keep your head to the sky.


M-Dubb said...

Glad to see you grabbed a bit of sunshine, playboy!

As for your question, I dunno. It's not that I don't have anything, but right now I'm at that stage where I'm questioning what I seek. Should I be happy because somebody loves me, or should I be sad because love (I'm finding out) isn't enough.

T.Diddy said...

God is so real. I asked/prayed for something VERY specific to happen BEFORE April 1st, and at 11:17pm, on March 31, it did. Though the result wasn't what I wanted, the very fact that the prayer was answered reassured me and helped to determine my standards and self worth.

Sean Stone said...

This is the beginning of something magnificent. I read an article on relationships about a week ago. In order to grow stronger together, both people have to realize their self-love and worth, even if the relationship ends. Thanks for inspiring me man.

Sean Stone said...

And that's a hella cute pic too.