Friday, February 05, 2010

What Do You Know?

Isn’t it odd how little we know about the folks in our inner circle? I mean let’s keep it real, if folks don’t share something with you, you can assume all you want to assume, but you don’t really know it. This means that our family, closest friends and colleagues are sometimes a labyrinth of unknown tidbits. These tidbits are sometimes discovered at death and sometimes never at all. A few days ago I watched Oprah – yeah, I watch the O show y’all – and reality TV star Ruby was on the panel. The story was simple; Ruby had reached 716 lbs. by comfort-eating. What was she soothing? Well, the fact that the trauma was hidden was a big part of Ruby’s problem and burying it further with food seemed like the right thing to do for her. She had no recollection of her life before the age of 13 and her mom, who apparently had the key to those memories, was keeping her mouth shut. The point of this is that Ruby, like many of us, didn’t know everything about herself or those around her. We compartmentalize our lives in an effort to cope with trauma and emotional distress and we become a vault of undiscovered experiences and information. I know for a fact that there are traumas in my childhood and in my formative teenage years that were so traumatizing that even today, I choose never to share them or speak of them. Are they a consistent pain? The short answer is NO. By compartmentalizing these traumas I’ve managed to live a fairly normal life – albeit a few quirks that peek through the cracked eggshell that is my personality. I’m a firm believer that sometimes the preacher’s message is for the preacher. This may very well be one of those times. In the event that this post speaks to you as well, well suffice it to say that to be truly free, happy, secure and healthy – mentally, physically and emotionally – we have to open the compartments and be honest with ourselves and those we love. We have to let the sun shine clear through to the pale and sometimes ugly, innards. It really is tragic to think that the folks that I love and who love me don’t really know me OR that I really don’t know them. Ask yourself, what do you know?

On Blast
Have you ever heard your inner voice (spirit) call you a liar?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

1 comment:

yet another black guy said...

ooh damn you went in on this! i gotta say that i echo the sentiment on not knowing the hardships that people don't speak of. and of having to push some stuff to the back burner to deal with the every day.

my inner voice is always telling me to get it together and be the man i want to be. hopefully it can still happen.