Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Walking Out On Your Life

Consider that approximately one million people commit suicide every year worldwide – 30,000 of those right here in the good ‘ole U.S. of A. So the concept of walking out on your life may actually be the healthier alternative – well, at the very least, one that offers fixes along the way. When I was younger I always considered walking out on my life and I often did escape some dire situation I felt I couldn’t conquer. At 40 the prospect of walking out on my life is slim, but the reasons why I would are there…and a reality that I can do something about.

** Recognize What You Are Really Seeking
I sometimes think that I want to pack a week’s worth of clothes and just hit the road. Keep driving, hitting different towns and meeting different people. When these thoughts flood me I can now interpret what my unconscious is trying to tell me….namely, that I feel trapped and seek newness and/or adventure. The problem is we’ve allowed movies and books to create a fantasy that we will not encounter if we work on impulse and hit the road. I now recognize that I need to visit the gym more often, take on a new hobby or make time to hang with friends. Sometimes, reconnecting with old friends can calm the feeling overwhelmed OR that you have lost yourself. The truth is your life is happy overall and making erratic changes will simply serve to undermine the hard work that got you this far.

** It’s Hard to See Perfect When It’s Always There
Defining perfect can be tricky and some of us associate money, property and the like as glimpses into perfection. The truth is there isn’t a rich person in the world that can attribute their happiness to their wealth – actually, the majority of them would tell you the opposite. Recognize what is perfect about your life today and roll with it. Your health is nothing to sneeze about; your family and friend network isn’t a give-in either. Appreciate what is working and stop highlighting the negative

** Take a Trip; Preferably Alone
If thoughts of running away from your life overwhelm you, take a nice trip - preferably by yourself and settle into the short-term notion of how you feel when separated from everyone you love. Are you having a blast in some remote state with no network of friends? It’s easy to see if the grass is greener by just taking off your shoes, climbing the fence and walking on it.

** A Problem Is Never As Permanent As a Solution
It’s a classic line in the movie Torch Song Trilogy (a movie I recommend everyone watches). The main character’s mother advises, “A problem is never as permanent as a solution,” and the obvious is clear that while problems seem hard to overcome at the time, they are there to teach you about life, toughen you up and take you to your next stage of development. A problem has a beginning and an end. Oh sure, it doesn’t seem like it at the time, but like mankind, problems are finite; they have a beginning and an end. A solution, however, can be permanent. Look at your life and recognize that what you deem as solutions can very well haunt you forever.

It’s not rocket science…it’s life. Sometimes, we feel like we’re on cloud 9 and sometimes we think the universe is conspiring against us. Ultimately, we have to realize that each phase of our life is temporary…you aren’t a teen forever and your twenties will soon be met by the responsibilities of your 30s. Once you feel like the dust is settling, you see that 40 is upon you and as you’re telling folks that you are now comfortable with who you are 50 comes along to remind you that time marches on. You tell everyone that 50 is a vibrant awakening and as you wait for folks to buy-into the notion, you hit 60. The beauty of it all is that you’re here….you can tell about it. Navigating every stage in your life.

Walking out on your life may never have crossed your mind OR maybe it crosses your mind every day. Whether you are physically contemplating it or figuratively do it by not caring for yourself or the things that grace your life every day, you’re still missing out on all that is there for you to be a part of.

Keep passin ‘the open windows…

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