Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Years Don’t Matter; It’s How the Love Grows

Relationships are a funny thing; some folks will tell you that if you don’t have love at first sight, it’s not going to work, while others will tell you that love is a slow boil that starts slows, heats up then bubbles over. The truth is that no one really knows the dynamics of love and what works for one couple may not work for another. What’s definitely a sure-fire thing is that no two relationships are exactly alike. That said, I was a bit shaken by the announcement a few weeks ago that Al and Tipper Gore were separating after 40 years of marriage. I kept wondering what went so bad – 40 years later – that required a split. I asked the same question…was there infidelity? Had they grown apart? It’s at times like these that those of us in relationships examine our own foundation. The story of BD and I is one that can be traced back through my blog to the present day. I actually planned my diary like postings about BD on my blog that way, so that I could read back and never forget anything about my feelings for him…then or now. What I’ve understood as true and real in relationships is that the years together don’t matter, it’s really about how the love grows, how its nurtured and do we respect it enough to do the right thing at all times with regard to the one we love. So what does this really mean? It means that love requires compromise. It also requires a great deal of patience. Love also requires self-control. Love begs participants to look beyond themselves and not allow their pride to govern the situation. As someone who has always been in control, prideful and selfish, love allowed me to grow beyond those traits so that I could receive so much more. Love doesn’t mean you’re a punk – it means that you allow others to also shine in spite of you. One thing is for certain, NOTHING is forever. Whether it be death, uneven growth, different goals, etc. relationships will end. When you get that out of the way early on and accept that fact you can appreciate the person fully…today…for all of their assets and flaws and give your all thereby helping your relationship have a leg to stand on and a means to weather the storms. Now you can boast about how long you’ve been with your partner/spouse, but the truth remains that if you’re not aware of how your love is growing, changing and being nurtured, you risk the same fate Al and Tipper’s relationship met…a tragic end.


Keep passin' the open windows...

1 comment:

thegayte-keeper said...

I couldn't agree with you more...EVERYDAY I think about my relationship with Noel and how it has grown and thinking how lucky I am to have in my life...