Thursday, September 22, 2005

Afternoon Edition - 9/22/05

Katrina Exits; Rita On Her Way
With winds said to be over 165 mph, hurricane Rita is said to be a category 5 storm with the power to cause equal devastation as her predecessor, Katrina. The Gulf Coast has 1,036 people reported dead from Katrina; the house-to-house search after Katrina has not been completed. The search for bodies will continue another four to six weeks. Rita is expected to make landfall tomorrow morning with a disaster path that is said to rip Texas, Louisiana and Oklahoma a new one. Presently, 1.3 million Texas and Louisiana residents have been ordered to evacuate their homes.

Nasty; Men Worse Than Women
Microbiologists have made a crappy discovery – folks don’t really like washing their hands after using the bathroom. After a careful national bathroom habits observation, it was found that 75% men wash their hands after using the T-room, while 82% of women took soap and water to their hands after doing the do in the ladies room. Remarkably a telephone survey showed that 91% of folks allege to wash their hands every time they use the bathroom. Want to know the nastiest of them all? That would be male sports fans who were observed washing their hands only 26% of the time after using the lavatory. San Francisco was found to be the cleanest city with 88% of the folks observed washing their hands after leaving the bathroom.

What’s Do The Numbers Say About Affairs?
It is estimated that 25-33% of all men AND women have affairs. When affairs are discovered, statistics show that 65% of marriages end; choosing not to work it out. Only 3% of folks in affairs choose to marry – of those 75% end in divorce. Surveys have also shown that only 5% of men will admit to cheating, while females admit to their straying ways 15% of the time. It was also found that 1 in 3 married men take off their wedding rings when they go out without their wives. Are you wondering how many of those cheating men got caught? Try 80%. The single biggest breach of trust reported was when the cheating spouse / partner became emotionally involved, as opposed to (or in addition to) physically involved.

On Blast
The Mega Million lottery was recently $250 million dollars. Many dreamed of winning the pot and living a new luxurious life. If you were the winner, what is the FIRST thing you would buy? Why?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

13 comments:

donya said...

The first thing I would do is buy me out of DEBT!!!! Pay all of my bills and my mother's bills.

Tammy said...

after becoming debt free...i would go on a shoe shopping spree that would be so awesome it would make national news.

KahluaLoverInVa said...

Probably a tank of GAS for all my family and friends!!!!! Followed by getting us all out of debt!

caspar608 said...

First I would give 10% back to God...the lump sum of the jackpot was 117 million...which means I would take 11.7% of that money and give it to my church and use it to do good or the less fortunate.
Then I would buy a humongous house on the ocean so that my whole family ould tay with us in the summer and just (sigh) relax. Debt wouldn't even be an issue. I would have the money to remove all of that negative crap from my credit report.
I would start my own fashion house for full figured amazons like myself that would make even the sloppiest bitch an instant diva.
I would invest my money WISELY so that even my great great grand children would benefit from the winnings.
And of course, I would make sure all of my loved ones had their own homes in safe areas with good schools relaible vehicles.
Lastly, I would hire hit men to knock of all of the pedophiles within a 50 mile radius of my home.

caspar608 said...

I have an on blast question....


If you could change anything about the person you love the most in this world, what would it be (NOBODY IS PERFECT)?

Winnie said...

I would buy my freedom and retire myself, Henry, my parents and in-laws from the American work force along with 2 airline tickets to a 2 week stay in Hawaii. I'm tired of getting my black ass up every morning and struggling through this DC traffic.

Cocoa Rican said...

I'd buy a new heart... the one I have is broken... LOL

DRAMA! Truth is, I'd take care of immediate family and close (and I mean close BEFORE I hit the jackpot)friends.

I'd then have my personal SWAN-type makeover and bust my whole shyt up! ... think first wives club meets Mystique on X-Men.

Last I would establish world peace.... uh, I just thought it was the right thing to say. :)

Cocoa Rican said...

BTW... I think we had that On Blast question.... does anyone else remember? I'm getting old, feeble and forgetful!

FREAKING RICAN said...

I definitely would wait about 2 months to go and receive my winnings because you know the news is just waiting to let the cat out of the bag and then what happens the family members you didn't even know you had come out of no where looking for a hand out. After the 2 month waiting period, I would definitely get my dad his own personal nurse to get him better then I would move him out of the infested area he lives in and move him up in the moutains where he can live the rest of his life in peace. I would definitely give some to my church to help continue their ministries in helping the less fortunate. Then I would get my family and my best friends out of their debt and then I would build myself a house in the mountains of Colorado and one in FIJI and just enjoy the rest of my life debt free "LORD WILLING" I will win the Lottery! Can I get an AMEN!

Anonymous said...

1st payoff my dad's house.

2nd $2MM in fund that makes $
from of interest to keep $
multiplying.

3rd set-up a trust for my daughter

4th set-up a will/trust for both
my sisters.

5th invest $ in stock market

6th payoff my debt

7th buy a building provide
moderate rent.

Krissy

Cocoa Rican said...

I think it's hysterical that so many of you thought of giving winnings from gambling (which is what the lottery is) to a church or ministry. For the record, no respectable church should/would ever accept tides, offerings or donations from gambling winnings.

Krissy... leave it to you to build low-income ghetto projects with your winnings! LOL :)

Whew... wait a minute I'm having trouble breathing!

KRISALMIGHTY said...

AFTER COMING BACK FROM A HAWAII VACATION, I'LL GET A PERSONAL BANKING ADVISOR AND A TAX ATTORNEY.

PS TO HECTOR: YOUI ARE INCORRECT ABOUT A "REPUTABLE" CHURCH NOT ACCEPTING TIDINGS FROM "GAMBLING". BOY I LIVE IN ATLANTA, THE BAPTIST BIBLE-BELTED SOUTH.....HOME OF THOSE MEGGA CHURCHES HOLDING 9000 PLUS PEOPLE......BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THEY WOULD ACCEPT DRUG MONEY TO KEEP THE BISHOPS BENTLEY RUNNING.....LOL

Cocoa Rican said...

I hear you Kris... but like I said, no "respectable" church would take it.... LOL