Friday, November 10, 2006
Morning Edition - 11/10/06
Sometimes I just have to say... You don't know me...
Preferences Within Preferences
Your preference to be intimate with the opposite sex makes you straight; with the same sex makes you gay, etc. What most folks don’t talk about is our preferences within our preferences. The characteristics that make people attractive to us and turn us on and the traits that just turn us off, vary. Unfortunately, the preferences are a bit more muddled and hard to define in the gay realm. Gay men are tops (aggressive), bottoms (passive) or versatile (either). To add more flavor to the mix there are those that are versatile bottoms (passive who like to be aggressive every now and again), versatile tops (aggressive who will take a passive role when the moment is right) and degrees of versatility that can affect the frequency of occurrences. All said, the gay man can find himself in quite a confusing position when it comes to meeting and becoming intimate with new partners. Of course, there’s always the “Free and clear plan.” No, this isn’t through Sprint; this is the idea that it’s easier to just reveal your preferences in advance to an intimate setting, thereby alleviating the need to wrestle in the bedroom. Recently, I’ve been slightly misguided into thinking that preferences do not matter and that my finding someone attractive, interesting and fun would be enough to carry the relationship forward. UPDATE: This is untrue. Sexual incompatibility is a deal-breaker and I’m dismayed to find that my preferences matter in my quest for romantic-bliss.
Is it superficial or shallow to allow your sexual preferences to interfere with the progression of an otherwise perfect partner or are you keeping it real to drop it early before it gets tense and ugly?
Keep passin’ the open windows…