Cat and Mouse; Mouse and Mouse
I’ll be honest, I’m only extroverted and outgoing when it comes to friendly socializing. If there’s an inkling of romantic attraction I clam up and turn into a 12-year old school boy that can’t find the right words. So, it’s no surprise that my recent two romantic interactions have me a bit unnerved. First, there’s this extremely tall glass of water – or shall I say chocolate milk – at the gym that I’ve had my eye on for a few weeks now. We pass each other from the treadmill to the weight circuit training area each day and exchange pleasantries that border on light flirtation. Finally, last week the interaction took a more involved turn and we had more in-depth conversation while leaving the gym. Suffice to say that there is plenty of sexual tension, but it appears we’re both waiting for the other to make the first completely “out” move. Admittedly, he’s making much more overt comments than I am, but he’s still not taking it there. With my adolescent shyness working in overdrive, I’m a wheel stuck in the mud waiting for the first overt advance before turning on the Cocoa full-on sexy. Throughout the weekend my giant-gym-buddy hit me off with several text exchanges, each closing-in on crossing the line, but woefully, he stops short of the mark. On another front, while out on Saturday night I came across an equal height shawty that fell-back quietly in the adjacent crew while at the club. I watched as he gave side glances in my direction ignoring my loud friends and focusing in for a good look at me each time he thought I was watching. Finally, when both our crews were on the dance floor I positioned myself to be right in front on him. A few shakes and the club mix of Killing me Softly later and we were pinned against each other staring into each others eyes with a smile. We danced for hours and made soft comments in each other’s ear whenever it seemed appropriate. At the end of the night I chose to take the bull – or should I say, calf – by the horns and we exchanged numbers. Last night we spoke on the phone and he seems like an interesting guy with a lot to offer. Oddly, I noticed he is very cautious and slow-moving – all attributes that had become alien to me since my return to NYC. He looks like a slow-to-boil date that has long-term in mind. Both guys seem like a refreshing change form the norm, since it doesn’t seem like either one of these brothas wishes to steal second and go straight for third base. Refreshing aside, I’m also aware that when it comes to dating I’m an attention junkie. If I don’t get plenty of it – early on, I’m likely to move on and potentially sabotage a worthwhile situation.
Those Yelling the Loudest
There has been a long standing statement that the person yelling, “Faggot” the loudest is usually the closeted gay man. For Rev. Ted Haggard, minister and former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, who represents 30 million evangelical Christians, the statement proved true. He resigned from his post as president of the national organization admitting charges that he paid an adult male escort for sexual favors. The married pastor is a long-standing opponent of all gay legislation – gay marriage specifically. His wife has vowed to stand by his side and Haggard, in a written statement read in front of his congregation said, “I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life.” Turns out he’s still a liar and a deceiver, since his alleged “warring against” includes purchasing gay sex on the slide to avoid just coming out and leading a respectable life.
Eleven Days and Counting
In just 11 days I will be on the beaches of sunny Puerto Rico. I am beyond ready for my two week vacation. While in Puerto Rico I will be researching some options – like living on the tropical paradise. Right now it’s just a notion with no financial backing, but who knows. I’ll leave this one to a higher power to sort-out, but what’s meant to be will be. I’ll keep everyone posted.
Fear of rejection will stump even the best of us from pursuing a prospective good catch. What if they tell us to step off or they just don’t feel us the way we’re feeling them? It’s a cat and mouse game and you have to choose if you will be the cat or the mouse. What is your game plan when approaching someone you’re attracted to? Give specific examples.
Keep passin’ the open windows…