Monday, November 06, 2006

Morning Edition - 11/6/06

Cat and Mouse; Mouse and Mouse
I’ll be honest, I’m only extroverted and outgoing when it comes to friendly socializing. If there’s an inkling of romantic attraction I clam up and turn into a 12-year old school boy that can’t find the right words. So, it’s no surprise that my recent two romantic interactions have me a bit unnerved. First, there’s this extremely tall glass of water – or shall I say chocolate milk – at the gym that I’ve had my eye on for a few weeks now. We pass each other from the treadmill to the weight circuit training area each day and exchange pleasantries that border on light flirtation. Finally, last week the interaction took a more involved turn and we had more in-depth conversation while leaving the gym. Suffice to say that there is plenty of sexual tension, but it appears we’re both waiting for the other to make the first completely “out” move. Admittedly, he’s making much more overt comments than I am, but he’s still not taking it there. With my adolescent shyness working in overdrive, I’m a wheel stuck in the mud waiting for the first overt advance before turning on the Cocoa full-on sexy. Throughout the weekend my giant-gym-buddy hit me off with several text exchanges, each closing-in on crossing the line, but woefully, he stops short of the mark. On another front, while out on Saturday night I came across an equal height shawty that fell-back quietly in the adjacent crew while at the club. I watched as he gave side glances in my direction ignoring my loud friends and focusing in for a good look at me each time he thought I was watching. Finally, when both our crews were on the dance floor I positioned myself to be right in front on him. A few shakes and the club mix of Killing me Softly later and we were pinned against each other staring into each others eyes with a smile. We danced for hours and made soft comments in each other’s ear whenever it seemed appropriate. At the end of the night I chose to take the bull – or should I say, calf – by the horns and we exchanged numbers. Last night we spoke on the phone and he seems like an interesting guy with a lot to offer. Oddly, I noticed he is very cautious and slow-moving – all attributes that had become alien to me since my return to NYC. He looks like a slow-to-boil date that has long-term in mind. Both guys seem like a refreshing change form the norm, since it doesn’t seem like either one of these brothas wishes to steal second and go straight for third base. Refreshing aside, I’m also aware that when it comes to dating I’m an attention junkie. If I don’t get plenty of it – early on, I’m likely to move on and potentially sabotage a worthwhile situation.

Those Yelling the Loudest
There has been a long standing statement that the person yelling, “Faggot” the loudest is usually the closeted gay man. For Rev. Ted Haggard, minister and former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, who represents 30 million evangelical Christians, the statement proved true. He resigned from his post as president of the national organization admitting charges that he paid an adult male escort for sexual favors. The married pastor is a long-standing opponent of all gay legislation – gay marriage specifically. His wife has vowed to stand by his side and Haggard, in a written statement read in front of his congregation said, “I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life.” Turns out he’s still a liar and a deceiver, since his alleged “warring against” includes purchasing gay sex on the slide to avoid just coming out and leading a respectable life.

Eleven Days and Counting
In just 11 days I will be on the beaches of sunny Puerto Rico. I am beyond ready for my two week vacation. While in Puerto Rico I will be researching some options – like living on the tropical paradise. Right now it’s just a notion with no financial backing, but who knows. I’ll leave this one to a higher power to sort-out, but what’s meant to be will be. I’ll keep everyone posted.

On Blast
Fear of rejection will stump even the best of us from pursuing a prospective good catch. What if they tell us to step off or they just don’t feel us the way we’re feeling them? It’s a cat and mouse game and you have to choose if you will be the cat or the mouse. What is your game plan when approaching someone you’re attracted to? Give specific examples.

Keep passin’ the open windows…


Just Me said...

First and foremost.
I determine the character of this person because looks can be watches off with soap and a little water. After the character summation, I next move into the mode of Victim or possible Friend. Is this prospect taken or available? Only a ring on the finger makes this prey safe. I've never stepped over the married line. Then its time to bring on the boyish charm/flirt with the every so slight undertone, feeling my nighttime snack out. If all goes well, we'll both be feeling REAL good come morning and if the sex was good, I might divulge my name and number. What else can I say

Cocoa Rican said...

Just Me... you're dirty...nasty... perverted... I like your style...LOL
...but seriously, BGB (Big Gym Buddy) hit me up via text this morning and said, "Good mornin' sleepy head..." now does that sound like a mornin' greetin' from a platonic str8 gym buddy? Come on folks... work with me!

Tammy said...

Staight? he's not straight, if he was he would not be texting you...ok?! he's a gay brother who is interested...what are you getting slow in your old age cocoa?!

Tammy said...

BTW, i am truly sorry i missed the blog on friday, Nov 3. (my birthday by the way). caspar and hector first y'all were fighting like brother and sister or bestest of friends, i know that y'all was serious, but it made me smile...i could feel the love. but who is the captain character who stepped in made y'all forget y'all were fighting and brought out the protectiveness in each other. caspar...what you say baby...step back cocoa i got this!! you can cuss him out...but let somebody else step in...oh hells no!!! i love y'all.

Cocoa Rican said...

Tam... I am losing it in myt old age - and when I say losing it, I mean everything! Looks, good sense and the ability to respectfully decline givin' up the goods... LOL... I saw Caspar over the weekend and we were suppose to talk about her actin' a fool last week, but instead we acted like kids, drove around having concerts in the car and ended with me "Bringin' sexy back" in front of my neighbor, while her and nephews cheered my runway skills on! LOL

Anonymous said...

When I see that one that takes my breathe away, I make sure to gain eye contact and give a soft suttle smile. That usually opens the door for any man, but only the confident man will approach which is his gain and the not so confident man's loss.

I still like the idea of the man approaching me even if I've given him the go-ahead or not.


Just Me said...

Your BGB is straight DL on the low low. He's attempting to do a sneak attach and surprise you. Call his card by asking upfront about his sexuality. Guys have hinted around with me but, there comes a time to cut the shyt. I joke and play but, don't play me....

Anonymous said...

i have always had a huge fear of rejection... so i just use friends to introduce us, always making sure it is a platonic introduction so no one gets the wrong ideas too soon.

Just Me said...


All Ariens are afraid of rejection, work through it. ATL in the house......ROCK IT...
Honestly, no one likes to be rejected, but it's life. Just hope not to meet an azz in the process.

caspar608 said...

Baby Boy
You need to show your BGB that YOU R Bringing Sexy Back (yeah!) maybe them other brovers don't know how to act (yeah!)
Go head BoY (go head be gone with it). Thats right. Ask him, duh, in your best valley girl impersonation, like are you flirting with me? Life is short. Feel what you must. He wants you. STraight guys don't call other straight guys "sleepy head", if you ask me he wants to see your other head.

And yes, Tammy. I asked Hector to set me straight in person, but all we did was laugh and I threatened to kill people once with my road rage problem, but the subject never came up.

And after me and the kids dropped Uncle Hector off at home, I got all teary eyed and thought to myself " what if he wanted to marry someone he truly loved.....would I just sit back and let the condervative right crucify him" My answer was a definitive NO. I love Hector truly, madly and deeply. He is Mi Familia. I would take a stand with him on whatever he needed me to, and so would his nephews and Sophia would probably be arrested for attacking someone unprovoked, but it bee's that way with folks you love.

By gones are by gones. He sure nuff is something special isn't he.

Have a good night y'all.

Cocoa Rican said...

Girl... hold on... I think I just gauged my eye out with my letter opener to have a reason to cry at my desk like this... thanks CAS... you know words need not be said... all we need is a car, a radio and our memories to always bring us back to where we always knew we were... IS THAT CLEAR FOLKS?!?!?

LOL... we're gonna live forever...we're gonna learn how to fly... I feel it coming together... people and see us and cry.... SHAME... I mean, FAME!

Tammy said...

chile i was neva worried about you and hector...while y'all was fussing with each other i was smilin..y'all love each other now and hug!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hope is not too late,
But anyway, About three weeks ago this fine Costa Rican Guy that works around my job caught my eye..

My problem is that when I see something I like I most have it.

So on friday I played it smooth and told him that I won't be at work for two weeks starting thursday because I had to work at another branch which is true but I gave him my business card and wrote my cell phone# on it and told him that if there was anything I can do for him to please feel free to call me.

The brother was so happy I gave him my #, he called an hour after I gave it to him and said I left him like a little boy with a brand new toy. He also said that he'd been wanting to ask for the # but wasn't sure if he should, He didn't want to make me feel bad or disrespected...

First time in my life that I did something like this.

Before I gave him my number and I saw him by the table fillin out his deposit slip, my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to come out of my chest, my palms were sweating and I felt a lump in my throath, but I took a deep breath and went for it
and I am so glad cause we are going out for lunch tomorrow and he is going to drive me home too....

caspar608 said...

Don't stop, git it git it

caspar608 said...

This is dedicated to my best friend forever and ever and ever amen....

Stand By Me

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No, I won't be afraid
Oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me, so

So darling darling stand by me
Oh, stand by me
Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountains
Should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry
No, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me

Whenever you're in trouble
Won't you stand by me, oh stand by me
Stand by Me