Saturday, August 09, 2008

Evening Edition - 8/9/08


What We See
I remember the very first time I laid eyes on BD. It was like my heart knew that this was the guy; the one I wanted to spend time with and share my life with. Today as I relaxed, I thought about what we see. Before moving back to NYC in 2003, a Maryland preacher left me with some words of wisdom – a catchy phrase really – that today, I apply to all areas of my life. She said, “If what you see is not what you saw, then what you see is temporary.” ‘Now what the fuck does that mean – exactly?!’ I pondered that line for years to come and reasoned its meaning to be so many different things. My boi Boot in Maryland remembers it clearly because he’s my man-of-the-cloth, if you will, and we’d always say the line and come up with explanations for what the sister meant that morning. Today I look back at that first time that I saw BD…what I saw…what I see today. Is what I saw temporary or is what I see temporary? I know now that to answer that question it is best to look at someone’s history. We all have loved ones who talk a good game and have many goals and promises with their lives – and conversely – ours. The easiest way to know what to believe is to look at what the person has proven time and again. If what you see is not what you saw, then what you see is temporary. Today it means, I may have seen a beautiful, intelligent, loving man who I wanted to spend my whole life with, but if his actions didn’t prove him capable of filling those shoes, then what I see is temporary. What we see is sometimes just what we want to see. What we feel is sometimes just want we want to feel. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more and feeling more, but there comes a time when our wishes must be met with rewards. The greatest reward being that we are living our best life with someone who fits the bill and walks-hand-in-hand in our vision.

On Blast
How has what you see affected who you’ve shared your life with?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

You hit the nail right on the head when you said, "What we see is sometimes just what we want to see. What we feel is sometimes just want we want to feel".

Adam said...

“If what you see is not what you saw, then what you see is temporary.” I think the sista got it wrong. It would make more sense to say, "...then what you SAW was temporary.” But then, I'm not good with riddles. And what does it matter anyway?

Temporary, permanent, who cares? People are who they are. An intelligent person can figure out what's actually there to see. We're all so sceptical these days. It's not that easy to be fooled. And if it is, then fool be fooled.

As far as relationships go, when we find that special person who gives us that feeling that we want to dedicate our lives to them, we need to just start looking at things differently. Humans are naturally selfish, but we need to drop all that. When you make that leap, it's no longer "me," it's "us." Two lives become one. For better or worse, in sickness and in health, and all that mess. WE need to realize that there are things that are much much more important than worrying about or dealing with drama. Gay or straight, I think that we make it so easy to let walking away be an option. And over what, really? It shouldn't be that easy.

"...then what you see is temporary.” Maybe, what you saw is still there to be seen. Just look harder.

fuzzy said...

my dream and my realities need to have some kind of connection. I understood exactly what was said when I first read it. I just have to bow my head as experience teaches me!

Caspar608 said...

as much as I love you Cocoa...as much as I want to sheild and protect you from any further pain or disappointment, what adam said made a lot of sense.

and that is all I am going to say.

yet another black guy said...

"Sometimes we see just what we WANT to see" - THAT'S THE REALIST THING EVER

Darius T. Williams said...

You've got to be the wisest blogger I know...really.

To answer your question, what I see affects who I deal with on soooo many levels. I'll speak from a romantic point of view.

I see greatness, for real. I so determined to reach my relative definition of success and I'm doing things now to lay the foundation and ground work. So many times I've come across great people who I'll end up falling for only to realize that they aren't positioning themselves for any level of success or greatness. It's hard too because at a certain point you have to stop and realize why you are sharing your life, intimately, with a person who has no ambitions, goals, or great desires. It's hard...because right now it feels good, it tastes good, it looks good, and it smells good. But sometimes (as John Chapter 5 eludes to) you have to cut out the stuff that looks good on the outside, to allow a firm foundation for the stuff to be great on the inside.

It's a hard call sometimes, but like Les Brown says, "you gotta do what you gotta do...to do what you gotta do."

Great post!

That Dude Right There said...

The quote makes perfect sense to me. And because of this, I think that people stay in non-working relationships because they are trying to recapture what they saw when they first met a person. People change over even the smallest period time.

If that person isn't the same person that they were when you met him/her, then you have a choice to make.

Kensilo said...

I got it. Seasons change and if the person you saw has change more or less, not for the better, then what I saw was temporary. But i am always upbeat person so hopefully what I see and what is currently is for the better for both parties.

Thanks Cocoa!