Friday, March 06, 2009

Exhale, Pack and Read the Fine Print

Yesterday is not tomorrow, but it’s good to remember the lessons we’ve learned to repeat those things that worked and stifle those that didn’t; All to say that my building management company accepted my offer to move in August ’09. Now comes the part where we hammer-out the details of our move, living arrangements and plethora of compromises for our new crib. That’s right folks, you’ve got to accept that unless you live alone, there will be compromises. Here are a few rules that are non-negotiable items for me….

  • Rent/Mortgage: Must be paid on time BEFORE any other bill is satisfied
  • Mutual Respect: Personal artifacts – journals, cell phones, mail – must be respected at all times. No snooping. If questions arise you should ask your partner to clarify issues for you
  • Cleanliness: We all have different levels of tidiness in our daily life; Regardless what your comfort level is, bathroom(s) and kitchen must always be kept neat and clean. No dirty dishes should be left overnight; toilet(s) should not be dirty; sinks should be clean; and tub should be clean enough to take a soaking-hot bath in
  • Clutter: You are entitled to keep any/all things that are important to you, so long as those items are not cluttering or otherwise strewn throughout common areas. Your personal valuables – including keepsakes – should be stored properly
  • Guests: Guests should be cleared with the family prior to their visit. Exes or interested parties are NEVER guests and it is NEVER okay for them to visit. Overnight guests should be cleared with the family with an acceptable/appropriate timeframe for their visit announced in advance of their stay
  • Nights Outside the Home: Outside of professional/business engagements, neither partner should ever sleep outside the home
  • Open communication: All issues are open for discussion and you are encouraged to discuss any/all issues to foster a positive living arrangement at all times

Now many of you may look at the above list and find it odd that I would mention these things in advance, but they are important. Anyone who tells you that these are things that don't need to be shared, is diluting themselves into an impending disaster. The more your partner knows about what is acceptable the better you both can work toward making each other happy and cohabitating successfully.

On Blast
What are some of your non-negotiable living arrangements when sharing space with a partner?

Keep passin’ the open windows…


kennyking78 said...

No, no, for real Cocoa, I am LOVING your list! I agree, it is sooooo important to discuss these things before co-habitating. People would be surprised that it small things like leaving caps off the toothpaste everyday that helps break relationships apart!

Your list was very reasonable. I especially loved the EX and interested parties part.

For me, I absolutely go up the wall if the bed is not made everyday or if the couches in the living room are not straightened up before leaving. Like Oprah says, "I want my house to rise up and greet me everytime I come home."

Caspar608 said...

This is the smartest way to avoid issues in a relationship.

I commend you for your structure, standards and overall sentiment of mutual respect.

Your family will be blessed : )

Keisha Kornbread said...

Baby, I learned that these things need to be discussed in the beginning over 5 years ago. It's amazing how some people think the craziest things are not my ex.