Thursday, March 12, 2009

So Maybe I’m a Bit Aggressive

I have what many would point to as my reasons for being aggressive...
*I’m a Latino man
*I’m a Leo
*I’m short and therefore may have a Napoleon complex

All said, I’m very outgoing, warm, affectionate and friendly, but anyone who really knows me recognizes that I’m like a Lion in captivity – never truly tame. A consummate professional I handle myself with the utmost tact while at the 9-to-5; and at home, I’m the warm caretaker of my man, our son and our two dogs. None of it takes away from that internal roar that I hear each time I feel crossed, slighted, disregarded, ignored or disrespected. When I was younger I felt my aggressive nature worked to my disadvantage; I would see the horror in folks’ faces as a discussion would turn from friendly banter to a potential Brown-Rihana incident, but today I’m able to mask my adrenaline rushes with very calm – even relaxed - disguises. Recently, several occasions have given me pause and made me wonder if my inner-lion is seconds from a mauling disaster.

1. My rush-hour commute to/from work: Anyone who has been to NYC knows that public transportation is the ONLY way to efficiently travel in the city. Unfortunately, crowded trains and buses force individuals who are primarily assertive/aggressive into tight spaces. This is a recipe for disaster and one that I fear will one day land me behind bars with a substantial list of charges. I visualize myself repeatedly pummeling individuals and sometimes turn myself to face a door or window to give myself a sense that I am alone. I’m working on this.
2. Respect in the Workplace: There are folks who generally lack all basic manners, so expecting them to have office decorum is wishful thinking. I find that I will counter the craziness with equally crazy direct-speak, but this is worth mentioning all the same. A) If your co-worker is focused on their PC and plugging away on their keyboard, they’re probably busy; walk away. This would be a good time to send an e-mail and ask your coworker to contact you when they have a moment. B) Just because you begin speaking doesn’t mean I begin listening. Do not assume someone has time to speak to you. When you approach your co-workers for a conversation, the polite thing to start with is, “Do you have a moment for a word?” …or some other opening line that allows your colleague to acknowledge you. C) Regardless of who you are, it is rude to assume that those around you will cease their conversation to accommodate you; even the President of these U.S. says, “Excuse me.”
3. Aikenitis: Clay Aiken has a song on his first CD entitled “Invisible.” In it, the last two lines of the chorus say, “If I was invisible (Wait..I already am)” I find the audacity of folks to walk through doors that you hold for them OR to neglect to even look at you when you’ve stood up to give them your seat is insane. I don’t give a penis-shake how busy or distracted you are, pay attention to your surroundings. No one is required to do you any favors or be courteous to you; Acknowledge kindness. I feel we are creating or encouraging rudeness when we don’t acknowledge kindness. I know I’m ready to release a door on a bitch or watch an old pregnant hookah stand because past individuals have neglected to acknowledge kindness.

I’m taking a deep breath. I’m recognizing I need more sleep and more relaxation techniques to help keep my spirits up and my aggression in check. Now, if by chance you hear of something crazy I may have done, you’ll have a clue as to what may have set me off.

On Blast
Revlon-Beat-Down….back in my day, it meant that we beat you so severely that you required make-up to look halfway normal. It also referred to the House of Revlon and their member's ability to tear-up some ass. What was the terminology you used to refer to a good ass-stomping in your day?

Keep passin’ the open windows…


houstonmacbro said...

Interesting post. Not sure I understood it all (especially that last part), but had a fun time reading it.

Darius T. Williams said...

I've always practiced non-violence. AMEN.

Anonymous said...

compared to my crazy ass, your lion is a kitten. but, ironically, I learned how to roar from YOU.

you created a monster : )

Cocoa Rican said...

I know it all sounded crazy, but that's the beauty of this thing...being able to vent. The Dali Lama (sp) said that he may have been wrong about the non-violence thing...go figure

All said, the best part of it all is that my sense of humor trumps my sadism.