Morning Edition - 1/12/07

Yada, Yada, Yada…Ladies Take Heed
New York City trains and buses are ticking time-bombs during rush hour, when many of us are irritated, crowded like sardines and frustrated as we creep along at a snails pace, but the straw that can break this camel’s back is loud and continuous meaningless conversation. It appears that there are folks that should enlist their motor-mouths in the army – they can talk more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day! As I rode the train this morning (with one ear phone out of commission on my IPod) I was horrified to hear the bantering of a woman who spoke of everything from her baby’s daddy alleged seek-and-destroy tactics with her, to the even more irrelevant way she handles the other secretaries in her office. Noticing that I was glaring at her with disgust and disapproval she yammered on like a 4-year old with Tourettes on Ritalin, leaving me to simply roll my eyes and bear it. All to say, ages ago we discussed why some women are single and what they can do to make a good man notice them. Here’s a tid-bit for your log books – Stop talking so f*cking much! If you’re not sure if you run your mouth much follow these clues:
If the person you’re speaking to has been nodding in your direction and looking over at the folks surrounding you with a slightly embarrassed look – you’re talking too much.
If the person you’re talking to interrupts you to say they have to get back to work, their life or to gouge out their own eyeballs – you’re talking too much.
If people run-in to you and begin jogging away saying that their running late for a meeting (and it’s 7:30 at night) – you’re talking too much.
Get a dog, cat, bird, fish or Elmo-slap-you-to-the-floor doll and talk to them. They are less likely to become irritated with your ranting.

Celibacy Abounds…God Help the Innocent Victims
Since November I’ve been on a celibacy kick of sorts. The matter of celibacy has been discussed widely on other blogs, before I noticed that I had pretty much been holding out as well. To clarify, when I speak of celibacy, I’m specifically speaking of intimacy with others…not to be confused with self-satisfaction. There would certainly be dead bodies strewn throughout my path if I held back on that little pleasure. It’s important to mention that I don’t have any moral incentives surrounding my recent foray into this sexual Sahara and that chances are I’ll be setting my goodies free for the Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend. Free at last, free at last...

Clent, John & Mom – B-Day!
J’Moo aka Clent turned 21 for the 23rd time the 3rd of this month. The jovial dark-chocolate prince of darkness has been in a stable relationship with his cream-puff for over a year. The two recently purchased a home in the Catskills and are in the process of buying a high-end sport-ute to boot. Big smiles to the Tooda! My ex-partner and delusional stalker John B. turned the big 4-4 on the 8th…guess you can say it’s a fitting age, since he appears to want to endure everything twice. The woman I admire most– my life, my heart, me in my looking glass into the future, celebrates another birthday on MLK day! The Matriarch of the Cocoa clan is still going strong and proving it pays to be in control! I love you mommy!!

On Blast
No Disrespect…it’s probably just my lack of intimacy that has me contemplating dumb stuff like this, but…
If you had a choice of having sex with one of our iconic civil rights leaders, who would you sleep with: Martin Luther King or Malcolm X
Why?

Keep passin’ the open windows….