Mas Sabe El Diablo Por Viejo, Que Por Diablo
In the vein of Spanish sayings of yesteryear applying to my life today, “Mas sabe el diablo por viejo, que por Diablo,” holds a special place in my heart. It simply means that the devil knows more because he’s old, than because he’s the devil. Typically, this saying is meant to say that our age and maturity should have us make better decisions – even in light of our education and position in life. Recently, BD and I caught up on the many changes going on in his life. He has come out to his family – including the Minnie and has even had a conversation with his ex-wife regarding who he is and how they can work to insure the Minnie has a positive outlook regarding his parents. BD has made some monumental advances in his personal life; positive changes that will benefit him as he lives in his truth and draws strength from living honestly. As we conversed about how far he’s come in such a short period of time, I couldn’t help but wonder why some folks wait until it appears too late or after they suffer some insurmountable loss before they actually forge forward with changes to improve their lives. After offering over a year of encouragement and advice, BD had seemingly handled it all – and handled it well – in just over a month following our break-up. BD and I are in the same age group, so being intuitive to those around him is not a new skill set. I almost feel that he is polished, together, intuitive and astute in all matters unless they relate – or related – to us. Which begs the question, did BD not take me seriously when I shared how important it was for us to act as a team – us against the world – to succeed in our relationship? Did he believe that I would simply sit around and be slighted by his family, his friends – damn, even his ex-wife – because he couldn’t live in his truth? Most important, if we reconciled, would it mean that each time that we encountered a serious issue in our relationship it would take a debilitating break-up to have him take positive steps forward to strengthening who we are and how we’re perceived by others? While many folks believe that the Minnie should be the most important person in BD’s life, I feel differently. You see, I believe that the partnership has to be the priority and that bond will show itself in our love and care of the Minnie and our interaction with the outside world. If we are united and strong, we can collectively overcome anything. Otherwise, BD should consider that the Minnie be his priority and wait until the Minnie is an adult to resume his social life. At present, I don’t know what the future holds. A part of me wants nothing more than to embrace BD and rejoice in his accomplishments. He has shown that he finally gets it. The other part of me says that a reconciliation will only send the message that my word means nothing and that to effectively communicate our partnership must be in a volatile state. I also don’t know that I have trust in BD’s ability to be sensitive and act intuitively with regard to my feelings – characteristics that are non-negotiable if he is to be my partner. As a mature man, I have to be true to myself. My feelings matter. I also must live in MY truth. This far along in my life I can say, “Mas sabe el diablo por viejo, que por diablo.”
Is it more important to you to win at all costs or to lose sometimes, while maintaining your dignity?
Keep passin’ the open windows….