A Culture of Cowardice; Gays, Take Your Rightful Place In Society
The gays have been nurtured to be passive participants in their own lives and live diluted in the notion that somehow by being colorful, witty, funny and congenial we smooth-over the truth of accepting second-best, almost-good-enough rights and realities our entire lives. While reading comments from my well-meaning blogger family about how I should accept that BD should make the Minnie his utmost priority – forsaking me in the process – I went from questioning my value system to feeling disappointed at being asked to be a defeatist. I asked myself, if I were female and BD and I were the biological parents of the Minnie, would folks advise that I demand to be given my time and respect and together nurture the Minnie in a sound household? Wouldn’t most people point to a spouses’ neglect as the very reason for the failure of their relationship? Let’s keep it real. Gays are taught to take second-best in the hopes of keeping the peace and finding acceptance in society, but history teaches us that cowards have never reached true equality and fulfillment. Women may have been pleased as punch to be allowed to take their position in the workplace, but today, most women will tell you that being compensated at 80 cents for every dollar of their male counterparts is unacceptable. Equal compensation eventually took center stage over being accepted into the same positions as their male colleagues. Blacks and Latinos may have been content to work the mailroom of the corporate sector, but they also realized that they are as qualified, savvy and worthy as the White man and have now taken their place in corporate boardrooms around the nation. The issue of marriage was a HOT button issue for quite some time and the heterosexual majority somehow came up with the brilliant idea that civil unions were separate, but equal, and should be good enough for gays to feel validated. Thankfully, there are some who will not sit down and be relegated to a “similar” right. They demand to be given equal rights that do not deviate in form or function. Well friends, gay relationships are no different than straight relationships. We are entitled to proudly bring our partners to every function our straight counterparts enjoy as a couple. We have the right to be MARRIED – not “civil unionized”. We have the right to be treated as equal spouses within our households – requiring all the attention, love, respect and priority as married couples enjoy. We are worthy enough to live our lives as openly as every other red-blooded American without regard to who we choose to love and what we do in our bedrooms. I refuse to sell myself short simply because I can’t impregnate my male partner. I will not find myself second or third on the list of my spouses’ priorities because asking to be first somehow appears to make me selfish or incomplete. Until gays recognize that we can do - and should do - everything straight individuals do, we accept that we are somehow not good enough. Stand up for yourself, take your rightful place in society and let folks adjust to your truth. You see, every time you accept a separate (albeit equal) set of rules than mainstream society, you engender a culture of cowardice; a culture we pass on to generations of gays to come.
Gay, Black, Female, etc.; Remember one occasion when you knew you were accepting disparate treatment just to get along.
Keep passin’ the open windows…