Friday, September 05, 2008

Afternoon Edition - 9/5/08


…A Round of Applause
Labor Day Weekend in Florida was superb. The weather cooperated for the most part and BD, the Minnie and I spent five wonderful days together; the best of friends; the slight tension and awkwardness that comes from suddenly not sharing intimacy lingering between us. BD was the perfect gentleman – sometimes even challenging my own perception of what he should have been doing. I was a bit surprised when he didn’t immediately use this time to make his point; to establish his case. By our final night in Florida I realized that BD was saying more by not speaking about the relationship, then if he spent every day and night dwelling on it. You see, there are times in our lives where we are meant to be still and silent and there are moments in your life when you have to stand and fight with everything you’ve got. Now, I don’t want to sound like I wanted BD to fight, argue and claw his way back into my heart - anyone who knows me knows that fighting me only serves to have me systematically destroy you – but I got a sense that he allows his fears to paralyze his call to action. As I settled-in to the work week I couldn’t help but think that the BD and Me love story may very well be winding down. After lunch a couple of days ago – Yes, my crazy behind still can have lunch with BD, vacation with him and know that I love him dearly – BD asked me if I believed there was a chance of us getting together again. The question hurt me because I know what the answer MUST be. “I would never create hope or have you wait for me, so I’ll say no. I don’t believe in using ‘never’ – especially in love – but I hate for folks to string people along, “ I said. “I’ll have to say no.” As the words left my mouth I knew I couldn’t take them back. I felt honest and knew that I could never be wrong when I live in my truth.

If you’re like me and like to reserve your judgment of situations until you can weigh both sides, you're in luck. BD has his very own blog. For BD’s point of view click here

On Blast
When can being honest with your partner bring about more heartache than healing?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

3 comments:

KennonP said...

I feel this post on so many levels. I wanted Mark to fight for me, but he was just to much of a liar or too scared of the rejection or maybe just happy to be free. I have no idea. As crazy as it sounds I wanted to fight for him..but I didn't..I just didnt have any fight in me, I knew deep down inside it was not worth it, so I feel you.

~Kahlua~ said...

When I saw the link to BD's blog, I read no further in your post---I clicked it IMMEDIATELY. Systematically over the last few days, I've read his accounts of the breakup and its after-affects. Very interesting to see a different perspective. I'm a true romantic Cocoa...you know this. I found myself saying out loud as if it were a recap of my favorite daytime soap..."PLEEEZE don't let them be over!!!! They can get THRU this!!" I know you 'gotta do what you gotta do' baby...just don't shun the idea of a fresh start simply because you don't make it a practice or habit of giving second chances. If me & the hubby (ex-hubby technically) hadn't made an exception to that rule, we wouldn't be back together and happier than every today!! (and we went thru some wayyyyyy deeper and more painful sh*t before we got to that point.)

Love you!!

yet another black guy said...

i clicked the link, but i just couldn't bring myself to read it. i don't know why, it just felt like betrayal.