Monday, September 29, 2008

...And Then There Was One


…And Then There Was One
Seven weeks after my relationship with BD spiraled out of control with three separate entities struggling to be heard and understood, we’ve emerged as ONE. Yeah, I can go into all the details of what transpired – and Lord knows, you’ve been privy to lots of it – but what it really boils down to is that BD, the Minnie and I are now operating as ONE unit. Contrary to popular belief, we have instituted the belief that if he and I are committed, devoted and respecting of each other, we are the most giving and present parents to the Minnie at all times. Yes, we read the comments that demanded that I step aside and allow BD to raise his kid; we even understood where the fear of parents who put new partners first and leave their children to suffer a damaging second place, stems from. All relationships operate under their own rules and incorporate what works for them. For us, the answer was clear – the Minnie fairs better with the love, devotion, support and PRIORITY from both of us working in tandem. It is a system we’ve seen work in both - my parent’s long standing 45-year marriage and BD’s grandparent’s life-long partnership. As BD and the Minnie joined me for my nephew’s birthday party this weekend, we were a family - one unit. As the kids played together, BD or I would periodically check on them and when the Minnie was roughed-up by one of my nephews during play, I was able to pull him aside and reassure him that no matter what, ‘Cocoa is always here for you, so you can come to me if someone bothers you.” To be honest, one issue that will always be at the forefront of my worries – is never having the Minnie suffer a slight because some fool – or their offspring – has an issue with non-traditional families. As BD got on his knees and again presented me with that gorgeous diamond ring he intended to give me on my birthday, it meant so much more; it now shines more brightly and weighs heavier on my hand because it represents the love, honor, commitment and spirit of our ONE family.

On Blast
Drinking your coffee black because you’re afraid to ask for milk and sugar seems absurd. Yet, whether at the coffee shop or in your relationship, failing to ask for what you want, will literally – or figuratively – have you drinking bitter black coffee in silence.
Although there are compromises that need to be made in your life, there are times when you must stand up for yourself and what you believe in; most importantly, playing second-fiddle with your Stradivarius doesn’t make you a benevolent soul; it makes you a moron.
Can a couple compromising in silence to make a relationship work fair better than one tackling volatile issues head-on?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

12 comments:

Caspar608 said...

Finally!!!!!

Alls well that ends well. Ding dong the witch is dead and the great OZ has spoken.

So when's the weddin?

Joey Bahamas said...

That was a rhetorical question wasn't it. In any case, I'm glad to hear that you and BD are back together and that diamonds were involved. I live for diamonds...

JB

Cocoa Rican said...

Kind-of Joey...I mean, lately I don't think any question in my life have been rhetorical!

Thanks Cas...the wedding is soon...and you're the Mamita of honor.

KennonP said...

Thank God!! This is wonderful. As for the question, no it is not healthy to suffer in silence. Wether aloud or in silence..suffering is suffering.

Achilles said...

I'm here for you now and always, baby. I've seen life without you and it's not a place where I want to live. I love you with all my heart and soul and together I know, we'll be unstoppable. Here's to 'us'.

~Kahlua~ said...

As I said in BD's post from today...this was a perfect ending for my own perfect new beginning (the new job)...My heart is smiling from ear to ear babe. Congratulations to you all of you!!

(So very proud of you Cocoa...xoxo)

Anonymous said...

Congrats Cocoa and BD! Fix that Mercedes! Now what chapter will this be in the book? LOL.

Darius T. Williams said...

Hmmm - I think you knwo the answer to that question. You're proof of that. JHud sings it best - sometimes you've gotta Stand Up.

So, how about Jason and I may be getting back together as well.

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Well ol right! Now this is great news!

~Damnit!

One Man’s Opinion said...

YEAH! Now stop playing boy, for I come down there is kick your ass. I can do it to. I have the law on my side. I am very happy. I didn't feel good about the break up (not that I have to). Seriously, if I thought it was for the best for you two to go your seperate ways i would have said so and I didn't so that should tell you something. You are the best. Now, sit down and read the Minny the Secret Life of Bees.

And put on some damn clothes.

E said...

I love your on blast comments. Black coffee can be quite dull..:-)

ShawnQt said...

:)