Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Morning Edition - 4/3/07

Sex Pays; Love Costs
Last night DJ and I sat for the 90-minute feature, Boy Culture. In its limited engagement in NYC (Marc 23 – Apr 3) Boy Culture is playing at a quaint little theater in lower Manhattan. The film is written and directed by Q. Allan Brocka and stars eye candy, Darryl Stephens from Noah’s Arc fame, along with Derek Magyar and Jonathan Trent. Admittedly, I went in with low expectations and thought the flick would be just another gay love story with a low budget. Instead I was pleasantly surprised and found the storyline is beautifully written and it was both hysterically funny and poignantly realistic in its portrayal of gay love. The characters are flawed, but endearing in their raw approach to discovering themselves and ultimately accepting love into their lives. I refuse to give away the storyline, but suffice to say, you’ll find yourself smiling at the end of the film and rethinking your choices with regard to handling your feelings for the person you love. The movie also explores the boundaries of relationships and what is acceptable to create a lasting bond. This movie is a must-see in my book. Check show dates for your respective city by going to

Life Support; Boo-Hoo
There are mistakes in life that have life threatening consequences. Moreover, just because you’re sorry, will not make everything right and okay. So goes the story of Ana Willis (played by Queen Latifah) who after an intravenous drug habit, discovers she is HIV+ and has lost her family to the havoc of drug use. After rehabilitation, Ana is now leading a productive life as an HIV outreach counselor and has even had another child – who is, thankfully, negative. Both her and the man who infected her now lead productive lives, but find that getting everything back – including recapturing the respect and trust of family – is sometimes more difficult than kicking a bad habit. The story introduces Evan Ross (son of legendary diva Diana Ross) as Omari, an HIV+ gay youngster. A homothug of sorts, Omari is also on the path to destruction when his world collides with Ana’s older daughter (now living with her grandmother, played by Anna Deavere Smith) Kelly. Kelly is a hard-edged, but mature, young lady. She’s aware of her mother’s effect on her life and holds a deep-seated grudge against her now-clean mom. The story of Ana and Omari is a heart wrenching one. The lesson is simple – HIV is still real in our community. Testing and treatment are the number one ways to stay alive, but most important, for all the drugs and treatment available, not all stories have a happy ending. This movie had me crying so hard I had to stop the DVR and get tissue. The characters are raw, the story is based on a true story and the message will make you want to take a stand. HIV is here folks. HIV is real. HIV can kill you. You can’t make up for past mistakes; you can only live in your reality and move forward in faith. Now pass the tissue.

On Blast
Boy Culture addresses open relationships – relationships that allow partners to have interactions with individuals outside of the relationship. Last night while talking to a friend, I asked how they felt about open relationships and/or relationships that recruit and integrate third parties.
How would you feel about having an open relationship with your partner or spouse? Do you believe you would have more of an issue with your partner being physically OR emotionally involved with someone else? What do you believe are the pros and cons of open relationships?

Keep passin’ the open windows…


Anonymous said...

Having an open relationship only means that you are not committed to your lover, wife, husband etc. I guess you have to ask yourself the question of why are we in this relationship to begin with. If the pleasure is not coming from the one you are with it is time to let go no matter how difficult it may be. In the end only you will lose and feel incomplete.

Just Me said...

I disagree Anonymous,
I believe that there are circumstances where two people might have an open relationship or let’s stay a freer relationship. If we love each other but one has a sexual problem and they want their partner to be fulfilled. I can see a third party getting involved to satisfy the partner. The trick to me is inclusion not exclusion. I do believe that a GREAT many people have sexually relations outside of their current relationship, why not bring those desires to light and discuss them?
I see that men have the biggest problem with a third party because they feel that they should be able to satisfy their partner but, if the woman want to bring a third party in for her man, HEY lets do this.
Question: Have you been totally committed in each and every relationship you have had?

Marz said...

I don't believe that anyone is totally monogamous. Looking at my parents who have been married for 18 years. Even though neither one of them has cheated on the other, to my knowledge; they still have others who they have emotional connections with that their partner could never replace.

No ones relationship is totally closed from everyone.

On a sexual base, it's up to the person.


Just Me said...


Never Ever Close your true friends out from your relationship. If you do, you'll be the loser in the end. Your friendships will carry you through any mihaps in your relationships. We all need stimulation outside of sexual and that's what friends do.

AGAIN: NEVER EVER make youself an island because of a love interest, you'll be the loser....That is a promise because your friends will not keep coming back after your breakups.

Cocoa Rican said...

As age and experience now serve to give me a clearer picture of what I’d like from my relationships, I accept that any/all rules that are created to make my relationship a more positive and enjoyable one depend on my partner and I. I don’t think the norm, society, family or friends can dictate what works for me and my partner. That said, I do take the advice of my family and friends seriously and consider it when making decisions that I’ve asked for advice on.

I believe respect and communication are the two keys to make a relationship lasting, enjoyable and whole. I think my requirements for my partner are less based on the physical and more on the emotional and mental. I need my partner to be devoted to me, loyal, honest and up-front in all our interactions – and any/all of theirs. I believe once you establish honest communication and respect, partnerships can begin to explore whether an open relationship or adding different elements to a relationship will positively impact the partnership. What’s most important is that no one and nothing comes between you and your partner – ever. I’m more concerned with my partner becoming emotionally involved with someone else than whether or not we’ve allotted parameters for action with others. Keep it real… better to be in control and be in the know.