Morning Edition - 3/30/07

Sanjaya Madness; When Being Bad Is Good
Sanjaya Malakar, the 17-year old season six American Idol contestant from Washington State, is causing quite a stir in the entertainment industry these days. The soft-spoken, effeminate teen has managed to single-handedly kick-start interest in the top-rated Fox program and brings to question the ability of the show to really choose the best overall singer/performer among its contestants. When the youngster auditioned for the show, he was joined by his older sister, who also had interest in becoming a contestant. Although they both made it through to the second phase, big sis was promptly cut-off leaving the younger Malakar in a heap of tears before the cameras. Some say it was this genuine show of vulnerability that first endeared, the one I’ve come to call my Golden Sunshine, to the general public. Since then, GS has managed to avoid elimination, even standing shoulder-to-shoulder with better singers who are axed in favor of the stunning lad. Now in the final nine, many are saying that if he won, the American Idol franchise faces extinction. A cruise through the YouTube website shows a slew of respectable adults saying some pretty disgraceful things about the little young man who could, in fact, be the next American Idol. What was even odder was how many adults had waged hunger strikes until Sanjaya either stepped down from his finalist post or was cut from the show. Finally there are allegations of the VoteForTheWorst.com and Howard Stern’s campaigns that recruit folks to keep Sanjaya’s post on AI secure. To add even more fuel to the fire, NBCs Saturday Night Live, spoofed the androgynous waif highlighting not only his wispy personality, but his young and old, die-hard fans. So, what’s the real deal here? At best, it appears that America is letting off steam at a time when it’s less serious to argue about a sexually ambiguous beauty than to speak of the thousands of men and women dying in Iraq or maybe the Sanjaya disdain can be attributed to a flagrant dislike for flamboyant men getting ahead with the support of the general public… who knows? Moreover, the argument that the person with the MOST talent should win, is absurd. First, America didn’t place Sanjaya in the running, the judges did. Now, those same judges seem incredulous that one of their chosen contestants is moving forward in the competition. Second, if talent were the only criteria for making a star, then Lisa Fischer would be bigger than Madonna and Brian McKnight would be enjoying Elton John’s success. Let’s get real folks, a star is born through a combination of things – not the least of which is a difference from us that keeps our interest. In Sanjaya’s case being bad is so good, but being beautiful and original is better.

Rapidly Fraying Rope
This week’s installment of Rapidly Fraying Rope was inspired by an exchange I had with a young lady on the comments area of another blog. Basically, I mentioned that Kimberly Elise’s face looked fat in the new movie Pride. A young lady commented directly after my comment and said that she didn’t understand why people (I would imagine me) associate fat with ugly and skinny with pretty. When I tried to point out that I merely said her face looked fat and that her own “translation” may be more of a self-conscious reaction, another woman jumped in to co-sign with the first cellulite covered c**+. All said, this installment does not deal with the young ladies or whether they are big or small – to be clear, one of them pointed out she is a size 4. We’re discussing “Knowing your girth.” Girth is simply the measurement around something; for the purposes of this column it means the distance around somebody’s body. Lately, I’ve come across situations that made me believe that there are some folks that either don’t know their girth OR don’t seem to know the effect of their girth on the rest of humanity. It’s as though they woke up this morning and went from a size 4 to a 24 on their way to the train. Here are a few things to keep in mind when assessing your girth:
1. Know your girth…If you are over three feet across, it is not recommended that you stand blocking the doorways to modes of public transportation, elevators or face forward on escalators. You should be mindful that it is impossible for other individuals to get around you and therefore make them more apt to point out your lack of regard for your fellow man.
2. Know your girth… If you have very large legs, you should never buy boots that are calf length or above as your calves may look like footballs shoved into a garden hose. Also, if your weight cannot be easily balanced and carried with grace on higher heels, opt for a more reasonable heel that will allow you to walk like a normal human being. Heels that make you teeter on the brink of collapse only give you the Henrietta Hippo look and we don’t think that’s what you’re striving for.
3. Know your girth…Avoid eating fatback and beef tripe sandwiches as snacks while blurting that you don’t understand why you can’t seem to shed any weight. No one believes it's a genetic or glandular issue - least of all, you. Here’s the reality Clara-Belle, it’s the caloric intake.
4. Know your girth…Confidence. Period. If you intend to keep your voluptuous figure, it is recommended that you learn how to choose clothing accentuating your best features, take the time to do your hair and take pride in your appearance. Big girls are just as beautiful, confident and together as their thinner counterparts, but they need to take the time to package themselves with the same care as women of other sizes.
5. Know your girth…Most important – Do not criticize thinner people simply because they’re thin. You come across as a self-loathing, envious and jealous person. Moreover, it opens you up to the tables being turned and the girth issue being highlighted in someone's blog.

Romancing the HOE
Last night the HOE and I had our last date before he takes off for Peru today. His 10 day vacation will take him through some pretty beautiful sites and we wanted to have a last evening together before our first official separation. We fittingly had dinner at a wonderful new Westchester Caribbean-Southern eatery called Legends and retreated to a quiet evening at his place where we experimented with some new flavorful body oils. He also gave me a wonderful little keepsake to play with in his absence and I had to laugh at his demonstration of how I should use it. In the end, I showed him how I’d use his gift and my show-and-tell delayed my return home for another hour. As I drove home I thought about how the 10 days would give me an opportunity to think about the last two weeks with the HOE. He’s certainly brought me out of my winter funk.

On Blast
Being fat is not synonymous with being ugly, just as being thin does not make you a runway model. That said, are the media’s efforts to make Americans (the largest population in the world) comfortable with their size, making folks think that it is okay to be unhealthy? Are we saying, “Be comfortable in your own skin,” OR “Eat yourself into an early grave”?

Keep passin’ the open windows…