Friday, March 16, 2007

Morning Edition - 3/16/07


Milestone B-Day for Ev
Tonight, we’re gathering at LQs in midtown Manhattan to celebrate a milestone B-day for my honey Ev Maldonado. The invites are out and snow storm be damned, the party is still on. So join us beginning at 5:30 p.m. as we show our love and appreciation to a woman who personifies the word "friend." Here are the details: 4, 5 or 6 train to 42nd Street (Grand Central Terminal) – walk the 5 short blocks over to 47th and Lexington. Ladies are free before 7 p.m. and gents will put out $5 after 6 p.m. See ya’ there!

Hard Lesson #1 of 2007
Four years ago I moved back to NYC from Washington, DC, reconnected with my old buddies and melded with my family. It hasn’t been easy – especially not the melding with family, since as adults, we have to accept that we don’t necessarily have to like our family members. A short while ago when I discussed the subject of family, many of the blogger family felt that family comes before all else and that regardless of what they throw at you, you should turn the other cheek and take it. I’ve taken your advice, except the cheeks I’m turning to them aren’t the ones on my face. I’m a loyalist. I believe in being the ride-or-die to my family and close friends, but I’m also a staunch deserter when I’m betrayed or when it’s apparent that you are on the road to perdition. All said, my siblings and I are simply not meant to be close friends. I love them, but now accept that it’s time to move away from the drama to my own space and allow them to run their lives as they see fit. Back when this issue was discussed, some of you also mentioned that if I moved away from them I should still stay closely connected so that I could catch them when they finally do fall on their faces – again, not so. I believe catching them before they’ve actually fallen on their faces in the past has facilitated their recurring foolishness – I say, fall and fall hard, get hurt, and maybe then the scars will remind you not to get on that ride again. So my first hard lesson of 2007 is: Mind your business so you don’t turn love into a tool for facilitating poor judgment.

On Blast
If 30 is the new 20 and 40 is the new 30, etc., at what age should men and women expect to be stable and responsible adults with settled lives? What age do you believe signifies the end of flightiness and indecision?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

11 comments:

That Dude Right There said...

On Blast- There is no definite age, but my parents had a rule that you were grown when you were 18. You had to move out of the house by 19 and could only move back in if you ran into serious financial trouble. I never dreamed of moving back!

That Dude Right There said...

Oh yeah, and by age 30, you need to have your shit together.

KRISALMIGHTY said...

I agree with "THAT DUDE RIGHT THERE", there is no rule written in stone, but by age thirty one should have his/her shit together and his/her demons under control. After then you've simply run out of excuses.

Anonymous said...

21

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with the thirty. Through the twenties was when the eyes started to open and see myself say "well dam, maybe I could have done this smarter. Oh well, maybe I can pull this together before I'm 30". Really, if you don't have it fully together, what are we talking about? I'd be the first to raise my hand, yes I may be a little more fortunate than some, I'm 35 now, I go to work,pay my rent and take care of my child, I don't think that should deserve a medal though being I'm supposed to do that. Before I'm 40, I'd like to say got have a nice nestegg, able to go on vacations, got a friend/husband to hang out with, LMAO Dag, and I just wanted to say 30 was the age LMAO.

Leniere said...

I believe we can be flighty and indecisive as long as we have the human and financial resources to do so. As long as you got money in your pocket, and people around you who will support you in your madness, you can be flighty and indecisive for quite a while.

When all of that dries up and when loved ones set limits is when people often realize that they need to wake up and take responsibility for their lives. My family is kinda of the hook too--I went into foster care at age 8--for that reason, I haven't had the luxury of being flighty and indecisive. At 18, I was thinking about getting a job and an apartment.

I'll be 31 this year and despite being consistently employed for the last 13 years , renting an apartment and paying my bills on time, I'm still working on getting my shit together. I think "getting one's shit together" is an infinite process.

Anonymous said...

How old are you people? You sound like my daughter that told me '30 is so old!'. (ouch!) Life isn't about having “your shit together” by a certain time... Life shows you that having “yst” is only temporary! ...and who's the judge on whether you have "yst" anyways??? My take... LIVE LIFE! The sayings goes, “not all that glitters…”, and, “the grass is greener on the other side…”. Facades will make some seem like they have their “shit together”. …and yet, when you finally do have “yst”, you envy those that are free willed and finding their own. Everyone has different life expectations, and let’s face it… LIFE’s a bitch!!! I’m 32 and have checked-off a lot from my “Life-To Do” list, but I wouldn’t consider myself as having my “shit together”! …not at all! Each day brings the opportunity to cross-off something else from my list… and enjoy what I HAVE and have learned throughout the years! (ignorant in your teens, stupid in your 20s and your 40s just hold too much emphasis on “am I where I should be?”/goal accomplishments… that’s why mid-life crisis kicks in as early as 40s in some!!) No doubt, 30’s is the place to be!

taylorSiluwé ..... said...

Wise advice, Hector, I couldn't agree more ....

Cocoa Rican said...

Okay, I’ll be forty in two years and my shit is hardly together…
My important goals are not fulfilled
My bank account looks like I work at Old Navy
My love life is nonexistent
My hormones and emotional states are equivalent to a teen
I had more accumulated wealth in my twenties
All to say, “together” is relative
I say, just have some sense when you’re social security checks start rolling in so you don’t starve mid-month. :)

Queer Kid Of Color said...

Cocoa Rican, do you have an email I could reach you on?

caspar608 said...

I've been stable so long I don't know how to have fun. I don't even know how to take a nice long relaxing bath. Hell, I haven't had a vacation.