Morning Edition - 10/14/05

Unwilling Surrogate
Valerie Lynn Oskin was bashed in the head by Peggy Jo Conner in a bizarre attempt to cut-out and steal Oskin’s baby. Oskin was eight months pregnant. Doctors treated Oskin and delivered her baby at Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh. Conner is charged with aggravated assault and attempted homicide for her alleged role in the ordeal.

Yeah, Ask Me To Ejaculate For You
Today, bearing children doesn’t always involve a man and a woman copulating. Now, there are as many different ways to make that family as there are children. As always, a loop-hole and issue comes to light. A Swedish man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple in the 90s was treated to a rude awakening when he was sued for child support by the mother of the children. The lawsuit – which made it all the way to the Supreme Court in Sweden – said that three sons born between 1992-1996 were fathered by the man. The lesbian couple split shortly after the man signed the parental agreement that showed he was the biological father of all three boys. Sweden’s Supreme Court ruled that as the biological father he is required to pay for the children’s upbringing. Americans beware!

Long Story Short
Sara R. will be celebrating her graduation from New York University (NYU) tomorrow. The festivities will take place at her home in my former neighborhood in the Bronx. Frankie H., the queen mother of Harlem, is in the intensive care unit at North General Hospital. Her prognosis is grim, but we are hopeful that the Lord will make a way somehow. While visiting Frankie on Tuesday I asked her if I would be promoted from my position as His Eminence of the NYC Flamers in the event of her demise and she said, “Don’t keep your fingers crossed on becoming queen – bitch!” I’ll take that as a good sign that she plans to stick around for a while. Carlos C. is again in the hospital. This time the clot in his lung is believed to be infected. A lung tap will be done today to determine the status of the mass. Medical staff suggested they might want to do surgery – an extensive procedure that would involve a “smiley” face cut from his back to the front of his rib cage and requires removing two ribs. The family will seek a second opinion if the matter escalates to surgery. My aunt, Hena is still recovering from a massive stroke that has left her speechless. She can hear and I insisted my mom put her cell phone to Hena’s ear for me to shout, “YOU’RE SUPPOSE TO WAIT FOR ME TO ARRIVE IN NOVEMBER TO BE SPEECHLESS!” She grunted loudly which I assume means she’s going to wait for me to visit before making a departure. I’m buying my tickets for my Thanksgiving trip to Puerto Rico today. I’ll be sure to take plenty of pictures to share with you guys – although with my new girth, I doubt any will be beach photos. Bobby S. had a knee probe to determine if there were loose shards of bone in his knee causing his recurring pain. Doctors fear the pain may be caused by a degenerative case of arthritis. Resident blogger, Krissy, will be taking her two day martial arts exam beginning tonight. The blonde (well, frosted and streaked blonde) bombshell expects to one day open her own martial arts studio – hey, I don’t know how to properly spell “doe-joe.” ABAs Shannon Williams is home on double-strength Percocet after tearing her ACL a short time ago. Williams is awaiting news on whether she’ll need surgery to repair the tear. In short folks – WE NEED SOME PRAYER!!! There are too many of our friends and family presently sick, hurt or in need the last couple of weeks. For the record – the devil is a lie.

On Blast
Sex and love come hand-in-hand for some folks, while others have a clear separation between the two. Would a sex act with someone other than your “lover” compromise the love shared with the person you’re in love with? Do we (Americans) put too much emphasis on the physical aspect of sex acts?

Keep passin’ the open windows…