Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Morning Edition - 1/10/06

Bear Balls
Wildlife researchers in the US, Canada and Europe have discovered that one in 50 female polar bears is born with both male and female parts – hermaphrodite. Scientist believe the phenomenon is occurring as a direct result of household chemicals that through dumping are making their way into the arctic waters and into the bears. It is believed that the polar bear population, now at dangerously low levels, will be non-existent by the end of this century.

Hit-and Hit-and-Hit and Run
Interstate 95, which runs up-and-down the eastern corridor of the country became a ping-pong table of sorts last night when motorist off of Waterloo, Maryland repeatedly struck a body and continued on their way. Cpl. Rob Moroney of the Maryland State Police said authorities were not aware whether the body was that of a pedestrian struck by attempting to cross traffic or if it was dumped there. What is known is that motorist who encountered the body hit the body over-and-over again before an eyewitness came forward to police. Last night over 40 cadets were sent to the roadway to gather evidence – I suspect body parts as well.

An Apple A Day May Make You Fat
Who knew that an apple a day can actually be a deterrent to weight loss and contribute to obesity? Researchers have now found that the high fructose content in fruit, honey and corn-syrup sweeteners trick the body to thinking that it’s hungrier than it actually is. In addition, fruit consumption increases the body’s uric acid levels which blocks the action of insulin – can someone say Type 2 diabetes? At any rate folks, it all appears to be a matter of moderation. If you’re working on whipping that body into shape in the coming months, eat fruit regularly but in moderation. High concentrations of fruit should not replace your chocolates, cakes and candies. Instead, drink plenty of water and suffer. Well, at least that appears to be your best bet to avoiding negative consequences – but then, I’m not a researcher.

Long Story Short
Latoya W. aka “L” (pronounced Elle) is 26 today. The beautiful Toy recently reunited with her life-love Randy and is living in Maryland. All the best to you baby! Freaking Rican and I hit the gym last night and I discovered that I’m in the worst shape EVER! Winded after 25 minutes on the elliptical machine, we proceeded to crunches and chest work that only proved, the mind may be a terrible thing to waste, but the body is a horrible thing to let get out of shape! This Friday is the party for Annette R. and Micheline T. Please be sure to clear your calendars and join us for a cocktail – or two, or three…- and bring in the long weekend with a BANG. Time to revisit that thing… that’s right, I ordered the first season of Queer As Folk yesterday (hey, I’m feeling nostalgic!) and I’m desperately awaiting the announcement of Noah’s Arc first season on DVD.

On Blast
Oral sex is not for everyone. What advice would you offer someone who is uncomfortable either in the “giver” or “receiver” role? What can be done to make the act enjoyable? :::Please give advice with regard to your experience in either the “giver” or “receiver” role:::::

Keep passin' the open windows...


caspar608 said...

Cocoa...please take it easy on the elliptical machine. Don't hit the machine like an animal. Everything in moderation, you will give yourself a heart attack. Apparently, Oprah has endorsed hoodia as a weight loss supplement. Hoodia is from a tree root in Africa, I believe, and it staves off hunger. Unfortunately our brothers and sisters in Africa know all too well what hunger pains feel like...so I would imagine Hoodia is effective.

Anonymous said...

I would say close your eyes and imagine that you are eating your favorite meal/fruit/desert and sink your mouth in and savour it as if it was food.

I would also say to look at the guy see his eyes as you pass your tongue on the penis head, dive down to insert the entire penis in your mouth, suck on it while it's in your mouth and look at his expression that alone may have an effect on you now liking it. Girls its a powerful thing to suck a man dick you are in control and believe me it feels good.


Anonymous said...

Oral sex
is something that one must feel comfortable performing on their own. the one thing that comes to mind whenever I think about is what Lisa and my sister's would say "Don't do it, the viginia is one of the most dirty areas on a woman." I can't see myself sticking my nose in the trash can to see how fresh it is. If my penis can do the job, then get a trash man. I love my penis in there, not my nose.

petite morceau said...

Yes, Cocoa, I agree with caspar, you should take it easy at the gym since you haven't been to it in a long time. No need to overdo it - instead of working yourself ragged doing 6 days a week, start out with 3 days and work yourself up to 6 days, if you must.

Anyway, as for the oral sex part. I remember when I was in my early 20's I wasn't very eager to do oral because of the whole "that's where he pees from" thinking. I think cleanliness is very important if you want to have oral. And let's face it, unless you both came right out of the shower, there's going to be a certain about of body musk which you just have to get used to. Of course, if you're randy enough, it should take away some of your inhibitions.

So my suggestions to someone who's not all that gung-ho about it - to make it playful and do a showering thing together first - this way you can ensure that you're both clean and getting each other all hot & bothered so that you just dive in... ;-)

Cocoa Rican said...

Oddly, it all depends on the person for me to feel comfortable in either role. Also, I have to be honest and say that in my experience it hasn’t been a cut-and-dry (no pun intended) road for me. With regard to women, I’ve only performed oral sex twice, both times while under the serious influence of alcohol. With regard to being on the receiving end from women, it has been my experience that many women have no idea what to do…. Don’t get mad, just get it right! As far as my gay experiences, I’ve only been involved in ONE situation where I wanted to eat booty… otherwise, I simply will dart around the thing and avoid it. When it comes to “giving” head I’m good, but I rather not go there…I don’t care for it. I’m not much for “receiving” oral sex either, since I’m a stickler for folks doing it right and am sensitive… go figure… on the rare occasion that they do get it right – I’m your slave! Whew… that was a mouthful and plenty of TMI… :)

petite morceau said...

OH come on, anonymous #2 - if you don't like giving oral to your woman, I hope you don't expect it in return. That would be very selfish of you.

I would not be able to have a relationship with a man that wouldn't go down on me, but that's just me.

Cocoa Rican said...

Oh... I forgot all about giving advice... First, don't do it if you're really not feeling it - we can tell! Second, if you can smell it before you get down there, don't put it near your mouth. Third, NO TEETH! Someone mentioned thinking of it as eating food - nix that idea. It's not... think of it as eating icecream and avoid teeth at ALL costs! :)

Orally Yours said...

The secret is the head of the "P." I don't agree with the entire "P" being in your mouth. The sensation is in the tip. Also, we as women sometimes forget about "P's" two friends. They like the love attention as well.

I agree with Cocoa...teeth are a no-no! Another way to completely drive a man wild is when he cums, keep the "P" in your mouth and continuing the up and down movement however, slowly allow the cum to exit your mouth, back onto the "P" and then lick and suck it up again. Repeat this process a few times and it will surely make his toes curl.

Another oral pleasure for a man, is in the middle of intercourse, take his "P" out of you, suck on it a few times and put it back in you. This will also make his toes curl.

Direct eye contact is a good thing. Look him in the black of his eye balls with "the boys" in your mouth. That will drive him wild. Also, licking his anal opening is a big hit. As for the straight men (nothing against my gay brothers, I have even turned a few of yal out) do not insert your tongue into the opening, gently glide your tongue over it and around it. He may begin speaking another language so don't let it surprise you.

As far as the receiver, I don't like it. I have had it done correctly and just don't get anything out of it. As the giver, I am in control and that really turns me on.

Well let me know if you have any other questions. I have become quite good in my years and giving oral sex should be fun and not an opition!

caspar608 said...

Uh, is Dr. Ruth in the HAAAUUUSS?
Thanks for the advice O.Y.!

Cocoa Rican said...

ORALLY!! Well alright for taking the advice of the good witch on The Wiz and believing in yourself! That said, as FIRST a man and SECOND a gay man, I have some comments and questions for Ms. Orally Yours…

1. Only some men enjoy having their testicles sucked. Many men have sensitive testicles and find it down-right painful to have them orally manipulated. To be safe, only use a tongue on the testicles, even some light blowing until given the go-ahead or encouragement to go further. Don’t risk getting punched in the head!
2. Although you appear to be dealing with someone with an iron head, most men are extremely sensitive post ejaculation and don’t care to have you suck and play with their head in the moments following shooting their wad. It’s best to know that most men are not multi-orgasmic and need time to recuperate (refractory time).
3. As a man, after I’ve moved from oral to penetration, I don’t want to have you pull my penis out to suck it only to return to penetration. It makes me less likely to want to engage in deep kissing with you following such an exchange. Also, as a gay man – you most certainly are not putting your penis in my mouth after penetrating me (that would be just too dirty for words!) The same is likely if I’m penetrating you.
4. Orally, HONEY… we (Men) hate a woman who stares. Like a comedian once asked, “What the f*ck do you want me to say?” I’m more than happy to provide encouragement, coaching, etc., and don’t mind you periodically checking my reactions, but don’t stare me in the eyeballs – much less with my balls in your mouth!
5. Booty munching… Oh Orally, you are so out of your league on this one! As gay men we’ve perfected the art of giving and receiving “salad tossing.” You may think the art is in darting around the opening, but as a major “receiver” of the toss, it’s also in the insertion of that tongue. You were right about one thing – I will go straight-up SPANISH on your azz.
6. On the norm, I agree with you on the oral sex (male to female). Ladies appear to have varying degrees of pressure, g-spot location, etc. and the thought of having to work in that environment makes my stomach hurt – REAL BAD. One thing can be said for male parts – everything is right there on the outside and readily inspected.
7. Most important, some of your descriptions give the impression that a condom is NOT being used – let me find out! Outside of HIV, let’s also remember the other, equally dangerous, STDs that can be contracted. Play hard, but definitely play it safe.

Anonymous said...

If you can stick the entire 'P' in your mouth, one of two things are happening. You need a bigger 'P' or a smaller mouf...

P.S. I like my 'P' poking u in the back of your throat and Please DON'T look up at me to see if I'm liking it...Do your Damn job and don't choke. If u like it, I love it. Knock urself out, then I can take what I want without worrying..

Just me....