One Day It Will Be Your Turn
Following in the vein of previous postings detailing how important it is to take life by the horns and live with verve, news of Dana Reeve’s passing was shocking. Christopher Reeve’s widow, in her early forties, died yesterday of lung cancer. Remarkably she never touched a cigarette and lived in the country, so pollution was never a factor. Reeve’s death highlights the importance of why you should say what you mean, do what you dream and enjoy every moment. Ask yourself the pivotal question, “If I was given the news of my impending demise, would I feel I lived life fully?” Revise your priorities and make the move to be happy more and regretful less; say what you mean; grasp at love; make today count. As we remember a remarkable woman, who in her short life did so much to prove life can be lived with dignity, we also take a moment to recognize her positive energy as a quality we must all aspire to possess. Ultimately, your turn will come.
DC Revised
My DC family was invited to join me for a festive dutch lunch at the National Press Club on April 14. That lunch venue has been changed to the Daily Grill. Those planning to attend should let me know by the end of this month, so that we can adjust the reservation. In addition, go ahead and give the boss a heads-up on taking a longer lunch – I’d really love to enjoy a lunch that doesn’t feel too rushed. Hope to see you all there.
On Your Own
Statistics show that 18.2 percent of American households are run by single parents. That means that 13 million children have one consistent parental figure in the household. This may be due to the decline in folks finding the strength and wherewithal to fight to make their marriages work. It is estimated that 51% of marriages end in divorce. Single mom households make up 84% of the single parent households. To be fair, there are 2.1 million single father households in America. In custody hearings following divorce, statistics show that 2 out of 10 fathers are granted joint custody.
On Blast
They might change, right? Many single parents refuse to have the other parent take part in their children’s lives to avoid any negative impact, disappointment or disillusion to the children; while some parents use their children as pawns or tools to get the financial or emotional leverage in the interaction with the other parent. In the end, each family environment offers a variety of scenarios that lend credence to allowing the participation of both parents or excluding one for the betterment of the children. First, should parents that have a negative track record with regard to the children, be given future chances to redeem themselves and make their relationship with the children work? If so, realistically, when should you give up on trying to include the other parent in your children’s lives? Does the very nature of being a biological parent entitle someone to be given unlimited chances to make a relationship with their children work?
Keep passin’ the open windows…
6 comments:
Awesome topic. I am a single parent of three children, 15, 17 and 20. The 17 and 20 year old have the same father that did not participate in their lives on a consistent basis, but only when he needed to prove to the world that he had beautiful, well mannered children. Eventhough the bum paid no child support, nor could he hold down a job, boy can I pick'em, I wanted him to be a part of their lives.
I am just finding out a couple of years ago that he bad mouthed me due to me being the only active parent and disciplinarian. As they reached early puberty, the teenage issues within the household started and he kept promising them that he would move them with him. They wanted it sooooo badly cuz Momma ain't take no mess.
Now that they are older, they have formed their own opinions about their deadbeat father and want nothing to do with him. If I had known what he was doing 10 years ago, I would have interferred with the relationship and probably would not have allowed him to continue to come around. However, years later, I think it worked out for the best because they truely respect me and understand why I did what I did. They detest their father. I have encouraged them over and over to get over it and try to respect their father but to no avail, they just don't like him. I love maturity.
Can you believe still I will not allow them to bad mouth their father, even though some of the things they say are sooo hilarious?
Denene
As a person with no children – well, no human children – my answer may seem based on logic, rather than emotion. I believe I would first want the courts to designate joint custody and establish a financial support plan, so there is no confusion with regard to the financial support of the child and the legal right for me to make decisions in my child’s life. That said, I think that regardless of my relationship with the other parent, I would like to meet with them to try to logically establish parameters for what subjects are off-limits to our child – namely, discussing our feelings for each other (or lack thereof) with our child. If I was the established caretaker, the above is non-negotiable and I will NOT allow any interaction between the other parent and my children unless you were making every attempt to support our children in all facets of the relationship. If you can’t pay support and I am forced to shoulder all expenses for our child, do not expect to make decisions with regard to schooling, clothing, meals and discipline. Get yourself in order before attempting to regulate anything with regard to our children. After the above rules are established and followed – feel free to take the buggers, whip their asses and buy them some Timbs for school. BTW – if you have a significant other, you should be aware that they have NO right to discipline our children. I don’t want to have to catch a case.
COCOARICAN IS ON POINT. I ENDORSE HIS COMMENTS.
i agree with just me. Cas, i wonder if you would ask your kids how they feel about their dad would it match what you said. i bet money it would not. i bet you won't even post what they say, it's too bad they don't get to have a say in the matter. then again they might have somthin good or positive to say about that low life, scumbag, pal of shit, good for nothin, poor excuse for a man, azzhole they call daddy, and who wants to hear that?.
I’ve been crazy busy today and just got on to see things have gotten a bit stirred up around here. On the one hand, I agree with Cas – if you are not going to provide financial, emotional and mental support and enrichment to my children then stay the f*ck away. On the other hand, if I make that choice and my children do not experience first-hand the disappointment their dad/mom is, they may resent me for keeping him away. Ultimately, it’s the responsibility of an astute parent to decide – jack-up my kid’s perception of parenting or have them resent me for a while. Personally, I’d rather be resented for keeping the jerk away and have you find out – as an adult – what a low-life he/she is, than to have them cause some emotional or mental damage to my impressionable child. I’m curious Just Me, do you live with your kids? Age range/group of your children? Relationship with their mother? Answers to these may shed some light of where you get off….
your right Cas, we don't have all of the information and your side is not all of information. you referd to his family as Beast and him a animal,is that because he's black? won't that make his kids whom you claim to love so much animals too? what does that make you for choosing to sleep with a nasty dirty animal for so many years. only thing you did was bring more animals to this planet. but don't worry somone will talk about and have just as much hate for them as you have for that pal of shit father.
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