Thursday, April 06, 2006

Morning Edition - 4/6/06

Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings
I wasn’t always a big fan of Tyler Perry. The writer, director and producer of over 10 hit plays, all taking the new chitlin-circuit by storm, sometimes left me perplexed at how unrealistic his main character, Madea came across. All said, Perry knows how to deliver a preachy and down-to-earth production with a slew of current and has-been voices intertwined into each message-filled sold-out show. Now, the stage and screen success story is taking a plunge into the publishing world with his new comedic book, Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings; Madea’s Uninhibited Commentary on Love and Life. The praise and criticism swirl in the critics circle has already begun, but I suspect his true fans will make Perry’s debut a positive one.

Daily Grill in DC; Friday, April 14
Oh how the time has flown. Next Friday, April 14, is my big catch-up lunch with my DC crew. To say I’m excited is an understatement. More than the thought of enjoying my second home, I’m looking forward to seeing the folks I call my “other” family. Our reservation for lunch at the Daily Grill on Connecticut Avenue is for 1:15 p.m., so please have a healthy breakfast to hold you until our fairly-late lunch. Please RSVP to
hcruzny@aol.com so that I can confirm the total number of attendees by the end of this week. See you next week!

The Life Rollercoaster
The last three months have been incredibly exciting for me. I’m entering another phase in my life – a phase I’m really happy with because it has allowed me to love my life even when nothing financial, emotional or physical has drastically changed. No, I haven’t realized my writing dream; haven’t come across Mr. Perfect; and the lottery folks have not sold me the winning ticket. Yet, making the best of situations has helped me see my life in an entirely different light. However, this is life – not a hey ride – so after catching a cold from my beautiful nephew Daylen, I’m feeling a bit dragged-down. The throat is thick, the sinuses are burning and my emotions are off the charts. To complicate matters, I had some unforeseen bills to pay this week and felt like I lost my wallet – or better yet, everything in it. All said, it’s all good. My point is simply this, it doesn’t rain every day. For those who have taken a flight anywhere know, if you fly above the clouds, the sun hasn’t gone anywhere, it’s still shining. So, I’m hanging in there as my rollercoaster takes a quick plunge, knowing full-well it’s about to crest again and in just a short while I’ll be smiling at the sun shining on my face.

On Blast
Are they old enough? At what point or what age is it appropriate to begin having “real” and frank conversations with your children about your living situation, general life issues and respect as opposed to fear for following house rules? Is it best to just rule with an iron fist and use the “what I say goes” mantra instead? Is there a cut-off age for when parents exercising corporal punishment should discontinue any spanking?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

4 comments:

Melissa said...

Hector,

[Having a personal moment here]

I have stood on the perimeter of your life and quietly (sometimes not so quietly) observed the phases of your life that you have allowed people to see and over the past few years there has been a regeneration in you.

It seems that you have found peace within yourself and the despite pitfalls of life that happen, a positive aura shines brightly around you.

Baby, I am so proud of you.

Just Me said...

I would also that you have grown, but in which direction....

Life is a journey that we all have to take; you can be the selfish bitch or the keeper of peace within. You have to decide your own path. Ultimately, we all learn that being a bitch doesn't get too much accomplished in the spirit. So, I say Hooooray for learning to see and learning to enjoy what God has given to you...

I try my best to express my feeling to my kids verbally and hope that they can understand what I am saying. I am very careful of the wording and I stress listening skills over interpreting skills. If they don't get my meaning in context then I attempt to break it down for them. I feel that once you kids have a firm grasp of the English language you are free you begin their learning of the new words, phrases, and situations. Believe it or not, they've heard EVERYTHING in the streets.

They all learn and mature at different rates and their personality dictates many of the situations that you will be faces with in raising them.

Be versatile, Be gentle, Be loving, Be encouraging, and most of all Be consistent and FIRM with all kids.

Cocoa Rican said...

Thanks Melissa & Just Me. It’s been a long time coming – a few years, really. Yes, Just Me, for a while there I was a bitch from hell and (don’t sleep) it did get some things accomplished, but most of all it was consuming me from the inside. Like I mentioned a short while back, apologizing and forgiving (others and yourself) goes a long way at unloading a lot of the unnecessary baggage. Problem is, until you’re ready to take that step you just can’t move on. I’m glad I was able to take the advice of many of you (folks who truly love me) and choose peace over pride.

Whew… now to those darn kids….
I think if the coaching, teaching and encouraging of successful parenting starts early there’s less reasons to have severe changes in that troublesome teen period. All said, it’s difficult to whip that ass when the youngster is larger than you or has already a penchant for disrespecting you. Trying corporal punishment on someone at this stage can lead to a fight, rather than a spanking and certainly a court case. Teens need the boundaries to prevent the damage they may cause themselves, but they also need to know you’re being fair, you care and it is ultimately your home. You shouldn’t feel muscled into allowing behavior from a minor simply because you’re intimidated by them. If this ever becomes the case, it’s time to reevaluate the situation and probably have the youngster look for somewhere else to live.

Tammy said...

Communication, communication, communication. That is the key to having a loving, respectful and strong relationship with your children. My sons are grown now...never have they disrespected me or lied to me (well maybe little lies). They trusted me and I trusted them, they knew that they could talk to me about anything and they have. (sometimes I didnt want to here it). They listened to me and I listened to them. It started early and it continued through their teens and in to their manhood. I am blessed with the two young men that I raised. They treat everyone they way they treat their mama. With respect.