Morning Edition - 7/25/06

He’ll Live; I Did
Former Iraq leader, Saddam Hussein, has been placed on a feeding tube. Hussein is on a hunger strike since July 7 and refuses to have anything outside of water and coffee; hey, I survived on that diet for about a year. His demands are simple; he wants more attorneys and better security. As it turns out, both members of his legal team and his security team have been slain. Three of his fellow co-defendants are following the same food-less regimen.

Winkie-ing Out
Winkie, a trouble-ridden elephant at the Elephant Sanctuary just 60 miles outside of Nashville, crushed her handler, Joanna Burke, 36, Friday. Reports indicate Winkie ended-up at the sanctuary after a few brushes with visitors and handlers at a zoo in Wisconsin. Burke was hosing Winkie down Friday when she noticed Winkie’s eye was slightly swollen. When she walked around Winkie to get a better look, Winkie turned, knocked Burke in the head and chest and crushed her to death instantly. The death has been ruled an accident and Winkie will not be euthanized. ::::Just as an aside, let me get this straight… the animal turns, knocks her down and proceeds to crush her, but this is an accident? Alrighty then…::::::

Give Him a Hand
An unidentified man was shopping at the Super Halal Meat Market in Springfield, Virginia, when he took matters into his own – no pun intended – hand. After passing the butcher, Igbal Asghbar two chickens, he requested his order of goat meat to be retrieved from the large freezer in the back of the store. Once Asghbar went retrieve the order, the customer came around the counter and cut off his own hand, leaving it on the meat market floor before running through the parking lot of the Springfield center. All the one-handed man screamed while he ran was, “I am not a terrorist .” Asked why he cut off his hand, the man mentioned he did it for Allah. The man and his severed hand were rushed to Inova Fairfax Hospital in Fairfax County. No charges were filed.

On Blast
A close friend of mine is in the process of creating a very interesting and tasteful book that depicts ethnic men in their entire splendor. All early pictures indicate the book will be a huge success because rather than capturing gym bunnies or steroid-pumped models, he will feature your average face and body-styles. Beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder and the unrealistic 7-day-a-week, 4-hour-a-day, gym bodies are not the norm.

Would you be interested in buying a book that featured nude (or nearly nude) “ethnic” men (black, Latino, Asian, middle-eastern)? Where do YOU draw the line between art and porn? Are ethnic men judged differently when they appear nude?

Keep passin’ the open windows…