Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Morning Edition - 7/25/06


He’ll Live; I Did
Former Iraq leader, Saddam Hussein, has been placed on a feeding tube. Hussein is on a hunger strike since July 7 and refuses to have anything outside of water and coffee; hey, I survived on that diet for about a year. His demands are simple; he wants more attorneys and better security. As it turns out, both members of his legal team and his security team have been slain. Three of his fellow co-defendants are following the same food-less regimen.

Winkie-ing Out
Winkie, a trouble-ridden elephant at the Elephant Sanctuary just 60 miles outside of Nashville, crushed her handler, Joanna Burke, 36, Friday. Reports indicate Winkie ended-up at the sanctuary after a few brushes with visitors and handlers at a zoo in Wisconsin. Burke was hosing Winkie down Friday when she noticed Winkie’s eye was slightly swollen. When she walked around Winkie to get a better look, Winkie turned, knocked Burke in the head and chest and crushed her to death instantly. The death has been ruled an accident and Winkie will not be euthanized. ::::Just as an aside, let me get this straight… the animal turns, knocks her down and proceeds to crush her, but this is an accident? Alrighty then…::::::

Give Him a Hand
An unidentified man was shopping at the Super Halal Meat Market in Springfield, Virginia, when he took matters into his own – no pun intended – hand. After passing the butcher, Igbal Asghbar two chickens, he requested his order of goat meat to be retrieved from the large freezer in the back of the store. Once Asghbar went retrieve the order, the customer came around the counter and cut off his own hand, leaving it on the meat market floor before running through the parking lot of the Springfield center. All the one-handed man screamed while he ran was, “I am not a terrorist .” Asked why he cut off his hand, the man mentioned he did it for Allah. The man and his severed hand were rushed to Inova Fairfax Hospital in Fairfax County. No charges were filed.

On Blast
A close friend of mine is in the process of creating a very interesting and tasteful book that depicts ethnic men in their entire splendor. All early pictures indicate the book will be a huge success because rather than capturing gym bunnies or steroid-pumped models, he will feature your average face and body-styles. Beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder and the unrealistic 7-day-a-week, 4-hour-a-day, gym bodies are not the norm.

Would you be interested in buying a book that featured nude (or nearly nude) “ethnic” men (black, Latino, Asian, middle-eastern)? Where do YOU draw the line between art and porn? Are ethnic men judged differently when they appear nude?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

25 comments:

Tammy said...

Hell Yeah, I would buy the book! and the only line i draw with porn is NO Animals! Other than that i am a voyeur (sp)i likes porn. :-)

donya said...

On this end they said that the man did it for his family not Allah

caspar608 said...

they should shoot the damn elephant and make a few jackets out of his crazy azz

Ms. Universe of PR should have eaten something. Thats why she passed out. Honey is a skeleton.

Anonymous said...

How would a book of nude men benefit me? I am not interested and would not buy the book.

Anonymous said...

Saddam Hussein: It's ain't Trim Spa baby!
Winkie: Big Sh#T!
It's for Allah: What the hell is Allah going to do with a hand?
On Blast: are you going to be featured in this book? If yes, order me 12 copies please.
Peace,
JMoo

Anonymous said...

I would definitely buy the book. I agree with Tammy no animals and no hard on's either. I think a soft penis would represent the art more than a hard one.

Put me on the pre-sell list.

Anonymous said...

I also agree with JMoo. I want several copies if you are featured in this book. Can we say cookout, Largo, volleyball? Enough said...

Cocoa Rican said...

Mapplethorpe, a renowned photographer who focuses on male nudes, says the difference between porn and art is lighting…touche’. After seeing the preliminary photos, I have to say, they are extremely beautiful and in good taste.

To the anonymous poster… I can’t really answer how art would benefit YOUR life, but for most of us, viewing the creative expression of others and beauty through someone else’s eyes is fulfilling. Conversely, we can see your viewpoint through my friend Kobe who says, “I don’t need you to fulfill me, just fill me.” LOL

Donya…thanks for the edit, but the Washington Post also has the same facts quoted in my story. The man was heard yelling he did it for Allah… see
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/24/AR2006072401023.html

Caspar… stop hatin’ on Miss Puerto Rico… she’s beautiful, she eats, she was hot and was asked to answer questions in English… I mean damn!

I second the comment on the elephant… I could use some elephant skin loafers. :)

Anonymous said...

what about you being in the book dude?
Whazzup? You showing that Blue-moon or what?
Hallah!J'Moo

Cocoa Rican said...

To answer your question J’Moo, I’ve been asked to participate in the book, but have not made up my mind. I’ve mentioned my concerns to the photographer and am mulling over the repercussions…
1. Can something be done with the lines, wrinkles and bags on my face to soften the harsh realities of poor aging?
2. Will I be required to expose myself completely and show full frontal nudity? If so, will I be flaccid or erect?
3. Is there a “fluffer” on staff?
4. Can I live with family and friends seeing me completely nude for the sake of art?
5. Am I as comfortable with nudity – and more importantly – my body to have it immortalized in a book?
6. Will it change how I’m seen by my peers?
7. Will I be asked to share the spotlight with another model or will I pose alone?
8. Are the pictures taken on a closed set?
9. Will the birthmark in the shape of the island of Puerto Rico that now graces the inside of my right butt cheek be edited out of the photos?
10. What is the monetary compensation?

Anonymous said...

Yeah! We want to see that pretty ass Coca

Anonymous said...

1. Can something be done with the lines, wrinkles and bags on my face to soften the harsh realities of poor aging?
ANS: No one will be looking at your face sweetie.
2. Will I be required to expose myself completely and show full frontal nudity? If so, will I be flaccid or erect?
ANS: That one was too easy, I pass; LOL
3. Is there a “fluffer” on staff?
Fluffer or Magician
4. Can I live with family and friends seeing me completely nude for the sake of art?
ANS: I have four words for you, you yellow bathing suit
5. Am I as comfortable with nudity – and more importantly – my body to have it immortalized in a book?
ANS: Why not, you do it everywhere else.
6. Will it change how I’m seen by my peers?
ANS: Yeah, this time it will be on film.
7. Will I be asked to share the spotlight with another model or will I pose alone?
ANS: Only if you’re lucky.
8. Are the pictures taken on a closed set?
ANS: Closed, opened, beach, backyard, who cares just take it off and smile pretty for the camera.
9. Will the birthmark in the shape of the island of Puerto Rico that now graces the inside of my right butt cheek be edited out of the photos?
ANS: Two words, Press Powder
10. What is the monetary compensation?
ANS: Just like always, a Heinekens and a promise to call, WHY should anything be different?

J'Moo

Cocoa Rican said...

Okay, I almost peed my pants laughing so hard, so I ran into a bathroom stall where I've been sitting for the last 5 minutes in tears... J'Moo.. you an azz... I love ya'!

KRISALMIGHTY said...

I ACTUALLY HAVE A FEW COFFEE TABLE BOOKS OF NUDE ART. I HAVE MAPLETHORPE'S BOOK AND HERB RITTS' BOOK. PORNOGRAPHY IS SPECIFIC AND NOT SUBTLE, AND IS TITILATE AND AROUSE. HOWEVER THE NAKED HUMAN IN ALL ITS MAGESTY IS A BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART.

PS: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THAT PRETTY BIRTHMARK COCOA!!!

Tammy said...

donya in the washington post he says allah. i sent y'all the article.

caspar608 and hector...i am appalled at y'all concerning the mentally imbalanced elephant! it probably wasn't accidental that the elephant crushed his trainer...but they are so terribly abused and confined that it turns their naturally gentle nature in to violent psycopaths! they were not meant to perform for the masses in those ridiculous poses they train them to do! or to be confined at a zoo for people funnier looking than them gawk at them and throw things at them! everytime an elephant loses it and fucks up a trainer...i love it!! serves them right! i love elephants! (and back to the warm fuzzy spot). i still love y'all i am just appalled.

and j'moo...you just hurt me. i laughed so hard at your answer to hector!!! i have a cramp in my side. y'all are fools i tellya fools!!!!

Anonymous said...

Tammy, I'm with you. One more trainer bites it! Crush em, mash em and ask for one more. And CoCoa Rican, I Love you to death but if you don't pick up your tees before you go to PR...Well, EBay they go
J'Moo

Cocoa Rican said...

Fo’ the record…
Tam…This elephant was in a sanctuary and not in a zoo being gawked at.
If y’all would pay your damn cable bill, y’all would have seen the Discovery Channel specials depicting elephants as anything but naturally gentle.

Caspar, I checked and elephants are on the endangered list, so our apologies to Tam… guess we’ll poison the crazy walking truckload of crazy for its skin, rather than putting a bullet between his eyes.

Donya/Tam… who gives a hot fart what that fool in VA actually said, he cut off his damn hand… he could be reciting Hail Mary’s for all we care!

J’Moo… I’ve tried to connect with you several times… if you sell my t-shirts on E-Bay I’ll hunt you down and throw sanctuary-elephant urine on your locks! BTW – why don’t you meet me Thurs. night… I’m getting my wax… we can make it a spa night…you’ll love my spa girl…she let’s me cuss at her for 2 hours straight in two languages and has agreed not to post those pictures of me suspended with my legs in the air as long as my tips remain over $20 each visit.

Finally, Soul Wifey… u gotta call me so we can talk about yesterday’s lunch date…PRONTO!

Tammy said...

he was in a sanctuary cause dey done drove his azz crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! and they are only agressive in their natural habitat when their space is invaded. they dont have to be aggressive otherwise cause dont no other animal f**k wit dem (except that crazy animal human beings)...not even the mighty lion messes wit dem you heartless poison carrying hussy!!! and i was agreeing with you concerning the washington post article goofy!

Cocoa Rican said...

My Little Blackberry Pop Tart:
Please forgive my earlier rantings as this has been a difficult week for me. My patience is short, my stress levels are high and my life has turned into a low-budget, badly scripted sitcom and I'm constantly fearing cancellation. Also, my need for elephant loafers is abated by your need to protect wildlife...however ill-advised that project may be...then again, just look at the amazing job you've done wit those strappin' boyz...but I digress... the point was that you're right, I'm wrong...I think... and whether we're cutting off our hands while caring for elephants, as long as I have you, I'll fine.

Cocoa Rican said...

Did someone just yell, "CUT!" ?

Tammy said...

CUT!

donya said...

What is wrong with ya'll LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cocoa Rican said...

Note to self... do not eat steamed broccoli, red kidney beans and raw spinach for lunch and try to follow-it-up with raw nuts for dessert...
CLEAR THE AREA! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!

Donya when I cum down there in late Aug. early Sept. u gonna wear that black skirt u wore for Halloween a while back? I figured we can go out dancing and I'd feel more comfortable if you wore that when I wore my camoflauge outfit...BTW... the pics originally taken my camo outfit had to be dumped... turns out the outfit is see-thru with flash... can someone say "Ewwwwwwww....." I'm just horrified that I had to find this out from the six developers at Duane Reade waitin' to hand-off my pics last week... needless to say, I suspect there friends are all receiving my roll of film via e-mail...
Oh Lawd... now do you understand what I mean when I say my life is like a bad sitcom of late?

Anonymous said...

WAXED, babe boi, this soul brother don't need a damn thing waxed; now WAXING...that's a different story. and i have dinner plans with my Vanila-Martini, if you know what I mean. What about friday???? or Ebay and in spanish that would be "ÈBay"
J'Moo

Cocoa Rican said...

Vanilla Martini... hmm... you know I ain't even gonna go there...

At any rate, I like to have my cha-cha smooved out before I go on vacation... and you know I get it done every other month!

Anyway, Friday isn't good. I'm having company for the weekend... a sorta birthday gift..if you will. Needless to say, my "calendar" is full.