Thursday, October 22, 2009

Nails In the Personal Hygiene Coffin

Personal hygiene. Seems like a universal concept, but in reality it is a learned behavior that some, well, haven't really learned. Today, as the trained chugged along I gazed upon a human hand with claws extending more than three inches from the end of each finger. Unable to make something as basic as a balled-up fist, please tell me how this person wipes after using the bathroom? Assuming there's some freakish method to accomplishing that, where do they work? Can they type or pick up a small item? Aside from checking frequently, how are they sure there isn't residue lingering under these pint-sized machetes? I'm all for accessorizing - for God's sake I'm gay - but when form defeats function and you willingly render yourself disabled OR worse, a breeding ground for ecoli, I believe it's time to maybe invest in a charm bracelet and leave the unsightly potential pooper-scoopers to the guys walking behind elephants at the circus.

Keep passin' the open windows...

4 comments:

Daddy Squeeze Me! said...

AND I DONT UNDERSTAND THAT EITHER! HOW CAN YOU GET UP AND GET DRESSED AND NOT BRUSH UR TEETH OR WASH YOUR FACE...ALL THAT! THIS GOES HAND IN HAND WITH THE REST.

I DONT GET HOW YOU DO NOT CLEAN UR NAILS.

Anonymous said...

the girl from SWV...I remember reading she burst a blood vessel digging all up in her nose with her talons and nearly gauging the eyeball out of her toddler as well.

anything a 1/2 inch over the top of your finger is unsanitary as far as I am concerned. the koreans at the salon dont need to tell you to keep your hands out of water with the acrylics and such because if you wet your hands enough you WILL get mold. so, clearly, not enough broads are washing their hands out there as it is.

I dont do acrylics or wraps because that stuff is what they embalm dead folk with and is toxic in ways you never though imagineable. take note of the nail technicians using masks when they do your nails ladies. you should be wearing a mask too.

maybe folks with long nails have a bidet at home?

Kyon Saucier said...

LOL! I love this post! It is unfortunately so true.

Ginarose44 said...

Well said! The talons are a breeding ground for God knows what. I love having my nails and feet done, but I can't understand making myself incapacitated because of it!