Friday, May 04, 2007

Morning Edition - 5/4/07

I Love You I Do
I recently heard that a soul mate has nothing to do with sex and more to do with a heart-felt sense of connection and camaraderie. Marcia R., aka my soul wifey, has been the voice of reason in my life for over five years and her impact on my thought process and how I deal with life is irreplaceable. I’ve come to admire her beauty and worship her wisdom. Today, Marcia lives more than 400 miles away from me and yet she is closer to me than the days when we sat in the same office every day. Marcia is celebrating her birthday today and it brings tears of joy to my eyes to say, “I love you, I do.”

Cocoa Has Left the Building
Almost four years ago I returned to NYC and the comfort of my close friends and family. My living arrangements have been extremely cramped and the changes in the relationship with my siblings have made it clear that as Oleta Adams said in her enlightening tune, “Everything must change.” One thing that I’ve always known in my heart is that although we may be related, it does not necessarily make us friends. My sexual orientation was the first wedge between my family and me – ironically, now it seems that my sibling’s preferences are the wedge that has driven us apart. Since I’ve been back in the big apple, I have rented the basement in my sister’s three-family home. Now, I’m moving on up – to a first floor apartment actually - where I will continue my journey. I’m both excited and saddened to move, but realize that it is a healthy choice pregnant with possibilities. I’ll keep everyone posted on the details and will share pictures of the new pad with my blogger family. I continue to hope the best for my family and accept that it is their responsibility to do what is best for them. As a very wise friend said to me, “You’ve done what you can; you are not a conjoined twin.”

Then I Exhaled
It’s no secret that the first four months of 2007 have been very difficult for me. Strangely, I’ve found myself pushing through – dating, working, socializing and still finding a way to involve myself and be present in my daily life. Two days ago I received The Secret – a book that was always sold out in my neighborhood bookstores. Thankfully, Amazon had plenty of copies. I’m nearly half-way into the book and have found that not only is the book a God-send, but it has practical advice for why we sometimes get stuck on the negative and draw more negativity into our lives. Initially, I’ll admit that I was disturbed to think that I was drawing more and more negative situations to myself with my negative and downtrodden thinking. One of the major principles in the book is that what we put out to the universe – our wishes, wants, desires and thought processes – are what is returned to us; even amplified in our lives. I’m not done with the book and I’ve realized that I have a lot of work to do to turn my thinking and behavior around, but I accept that the concept of “reaping what you sow” is not a new idea and I’ve been magnifying helplessness and despair, when in fact there is so much to celebrate in my life. As I woke up this morning, I exhaled. It was a cleansing breath that was punctuated with a smile. It is well.

On Blast
With my vacation fast approaching, the issue of bathing suits is a major point of discussion with me and my travel pals. Personally, I prefer either bikinis or square cut, fitted boxer swimsuits. My friends and I have been debating what bathing suits would make great new additions to our San Juan Brothas (gay-themed) festivities in Puerto Rico. Do you believe there is a cut-off age/size for different types of bathing suits? Is there such a thing as unacceptable bathing attire for specific body types? Your thoughts…

Keep passin the open windows…

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Between you, Keith Boykin and Taylor Siluwe (and I'm sure countless other 40+ HOT gay black/latino men), I'm sure no one would mind if you walked around the beach in g-strings!

roughridertito said...

There is No age limit on anything. I will say that there is a body limit and please be reasonable with it. Just cause you feel that it would look good on you, doesn't mean that it will. If your 40.5 yrs old, 5'2" and a 180 lbs. Be careful of the bikini. It might be more like Foss stuck between to cement bricks.

Adam said...

I agree with roughridertito. Be mindful of how you REALLY look, not just of how you THINK you look. Theres no age limit on fashion (although there may be a maturity limit). Everyone looks good in something. Finding that something is the tricky part. : - )

Oh... and Marcia, if you're out there. Happy Birthday sweets. It's been ages since I've seen you , but you still look like you could ramp the runway.

Anonymous said...

My sweet thing....I am one of those traveling buddies that was totally shocked to see you in that bright peach bikini. Not that your body doesn't look great because it does!!! but I am a firm believer in keeping them guessing. You want to keep those beautiful men thinking if his upper body looks that good then damn what are under those swim shorts....Yum...Yum....Yum....

Hi Marcia....Happy B'day...Miss Ya girl! Freaking Rican

KennonPurdy said...

I agree there is a maturity limit (Does anyone look at a 40 y/o white men in Ambercrombie and think WTF?) I always say if you got it fluant it. but some things would just be a hot mess... If you are a 36 waist or over please keep it to lose swim trunks and maybe a t-shirt. In the end the public and your friends will thank you and not talk about you! :)

Anonymous said...

You know that I am totally proud of you. Change is good and you have been wanting to move on up and out of that house for a long time. You and I have become great friends since you moved here and my first impression of you was that you were so reserved. I have seen you come out of your shell and you are a man that loves your family and friends deeply. What I admire about you the most is that you tell it like it is. I truly believe this move is going to bring you even great things in your life. I love you sweetness...Keep being the magnificent man that you are! Congrat's on your new apartment.I pray that you are blessed with all that your heart desires.....

Freaking Rican.........

Anonymous said...

Isn't she lovely, isn't she wonderful, isn't she precious, the child will never look old, I can't believe what God has done, through love He has brought life to one, isn't she lovely made from LOVE.

Happy Birthday Marcia!!!!
You deserve all the happiness and joy life has to offer.
God Bless You!

Caspar608

Anonymous said...

And Mr. Coco Curious
Breathe in breathe out.
Bring only good light and lots of love into your new abode.
New beginnings! Forget the past and look towards your bright beautiful future.
God will most certainly take care of the rest!
I am so excited, I can't wait to see the new digs!
Cas

Alicia said...

I must say you have been waiting for this day a long time now. And I am very happy for you. Change in our lives is always good. Although I must say as happy as I am. Well I'm a bit sad to. You have been so much more that just my neibhor to me but more of family. Not only in the Rainbow way but in all aspects. Sine you have moved up here it has been that instant click with us and lord knows it hasn't been easy to live in a household with people you can't relate to. Until you came. I will miss our noah nights gossip, party, and can I borrow nights(lol). I will leave you with this message. I love you I will miss you but good journey in life. You are like a sisbro to me. And although you will not be far. I'm still gonna miss you much. Don't worry I will be on your couch for therapy sessions. Paging Dr. Feriece. Rem. Gym days and pride and any other trips is on. Smootches

WiseYoungMan said...

Don't do it!!!!!!!!! Don't wear any shorts that aren't finger tip length otherwise you are trying it HARRRDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No matter how in shape your body is, there is always someone on that same beach with the same build but has a better body, and you increase your chances of being next to the the skimpier your outfit is. If you don't believe me its Murphy's law.

Cocoa Rican said...

I certainly wouldn’t put myself in the Keith Boykin or Taylor Siluwe body categories, but thanks for the shout-out… I have my good days though and I have my fingers crossed for Memorial weekend!

Thank you to Cas – my oldest and dearest friend…girl, we ain’t friends, we family!

Freakin’ it’s been a while… maybe you’ll make your way to the B-X now?!

Alicia aka my GIRRRRRL ‘Nita… you know I love ya’! We certainly made our 3-family home into an episode of Living Single or Friends. I’m not far, so we still have to crash each other’s cribs! …besides, you know I have to visit you to take care of a few things… LOL

I hear you WiseYoungMan… but the beauty of getting older is you don’t really give a RATS ASS who’s out there and how much better, younger or thinner they are… We’ll see though on what we’ll be wearing. I have 4 new suits and will probably take a pic in each to share with the blog fam… maybe do a “pick one” game so that I know which one to rock over the summer.

It’s going to be a busy few weeks for me, so I’m shooting for a housewarming gathering the 2nd week in August.

Keep passin’ the open windows…