Morning Edition - 5/4/07

I Love You I Do
I recently heard that a soul mate has nothing to do with sex and more to do with a heart-felt sense of connection and camaraderie. Marcia R., aka my soul wifey, has been the voice of reason in my life for over five years and her impact on my thought process and how I deal with life is irreplaceable. I’ve come to admire her beauty and worship her wisdom. Today, Marcia lives more than 400 miles away from me and yet she is closer to me than the days when we sat in the same office every day. Marcia is celebrating her birthday today and it brings tears of joy to my eyes to say, “I love you, I do.”

Cocoa Has Left the Building
Almost four years ago I returned to NYC and the comfort of my close friends and family. My living arrangements have been extremely cramped and the changes in the relationship with my siblings have made it clear that as Oleta Adams said in her enlightening tune, “Everything must change.” One thing that I’ve always known in my heart is that although we may be related, it does not necessarily make us friends. My sexual orientation was the first wedge between my family and me – ironically, now it seems that my sibling’s preferences are the wedge that has driven us apart. Since I’ve been back in the big apple, I have rented the basement in my sister’s three-family home. Now, I’m moving on up – to a first floor apartment actually - where I will continue my journey. I’m both excited and saddened to move, but realize that it is a healthy choice pregnant with possibilities. I’ll keep everyone posted on the details and will share pictures of the new pad with my blogger family. I continue to hope the best for my family and accept that it is their responsibility to do what is best for them. As a very wise friend said to me, “You’ve done what you can; you are not a conjoined twin.”

Then I Exhaled
It’s no secret that the first four months of 2007 have been very difficult for me. Strangely, I’ve found myself pushing through – dating, working, socializing and still finding a way to involve myself and be present in my daily life. Two days ago I received The Secret – a book that was always sold out in my neighborhood bookstores. Thankfully, Amazon had plenty of copies. I’m nearly half-way into the book and have found that not only is the book a God-send, but it has practical advice for why we sometimes get stuck on the negative and draw more negativity into our lives. Initially, I’ll admit that I was disturbed to think that I was drawing more and more negative situations to myself with my negative and downtrodden thinking. One of the major principles in the book is that what we put out to the universe – our wishes, wants, desires and thought processes – are what is returned to us; even amplified in our lives. I’m not done with the book and I’ve realized that I have a lot of work to do to turn my thinking and behavior around, but I accept that the concept of “reaping what you sow” is not a new idea and I’ve been magnifying helplessness and despair, when in fact there is so much to celebrate in my life. As I woke up this morning, I exhaled. It was a cleansing breath that was punctuated with a smile. It is well.

On Blast
With my vacation fast approaching, the issue of bathing suits is a major point of discussion with me and my travel pals. Personally, I prefer either bikinis or square cut, fitted boxer swimsuits. My friends and I have been debating what bathing suits would make great new additions to our San Juan Brothas (gay-themed) festivities in Puerto Rico. Do you believe there is a cut-off age/size for different types of bathing suits? Is there such a thing as unacceptable bathing attire for specific body types? Your thoughts…

Keep passin the open windows…