Friday, February 17, 2006

Morning Edition - 2/17/06

Body Beautiful Update
Six weeks into our Body Beautiful campaign and we should all be enjoying a little more room in our clothes and some new-found curves. My last two weeks have been extremely successful with six day work-out weeks. Saying no to those tasty treats we were so accustomed to is hard, but it only helps speed the process of shedding those pounds. You’ll also notice that the more you say no, the easier it gets. This doesn’t mean that you don’t eat healthy meals, it just means you pass on those chips, dips, dressings and gravy-drenched-meals. A special thank-you to my work-out buddy Evelyn M. who has helped me push myself even harder. She is a determined go-getter with a shared goal to get it together and make no excuses. EM you look super. I haven’t kept a formal log of my weight loss to date, but I am down to 157 pounds. Sidebar: Please be sure to give us your progress on your road to Body Beautiful 2006.

The Right Hair for the Job
Jeanine A. forwarded a news story from a prominent higher-learning institution that prepares students for corporate positions. The school works with minorities – blacks specifically - and helps them acclimate to the white collar world. Pointers on everything from dress code to appropriate hair styles to help hoist you up the corporate ladder were given in the article. Remarkably, one of the heads of the institution mentions that tailored and manicured afros are appropriate, but locks, braids and cornrows are a sure-fire way to be passed-over for positions and promotions. The article also mentions different work environments where your hairstyle would be less of a factor, but overall corporate America wasn’t one of them.

Dancing in the Key of Life
This evening a confirmed list of over 30 friends will gather at La Maganette, 50th Street and 3rd Avenue, beginning at 5:30 p.m. For an $8 cover, we will partake of a tasty buffet and much needed drinks. Not really a drinker? Well, don’t sweat it – or better yet, sweat it on the dance floor. Salsa, R&B, Hip-Hop and a healthy dose of oldies to keep you on the dance floor until the last of your stress knots is gone.

On Blast
I ain’t doin’ that! Many folks will advise you to give-in to your partner’s sexual needs and desires to prevent your partner from seeking satisfaction elsewhere. This leads some people to perform some intimate acts that they are very uncomfortable with. Do you believe it is necessary to please your partner even if doing so is either painful, revolting or just not in the scope of acts you enjoy? Will this compromise prevent your partner from cheating to seek satisfaction? What would be your advice to someone facing this struggle?

Keep passin’ the open windows…

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why put yourself through uncessary agravation. If it's not something that you what to do don't do it.

Anonymous said...

As a female, I had a partner that loved anal sex and I absolutely hated it! However, almost everytime we had sex, that would come up. I would do it having him think I liked it as much as he did.

Why did I do it? Because I knew if I didn't, he would go else where and do it. Now that I am older and more mature, I would tell him instead of going into my azz...he could kiss it because I ain't doing nothing I don't want to do or am not comfortable with.

Thank goodness I am out of that relationship and in one where my partner hates anal sex as much as I do.

FREAKING RICAN said...

I am a strong believer that if it makes your stomach hurt just thinking about doing something that you really dislike then don't do it! My lover is always asking me for some Azz every time we get together and I am like "It a virgin and will stay a virgin until the day I die" yuck! Just the thought of it makes me want to puke! Where's the bathroom!

Anonymous said...

If the struggle you are facing in your relationship is whether you will perform a certain sexual act or not, I feel you need to roll and learn a lesson. The lesson, COMMUNICATE. I feel there are important conversations you should have with a “potential” before sharing yourself. Put it on the line what you will do and what you will not do once the discussion of consummating the relationship begins.

donya said...

Hector in response to what you asked me on the 15th. I stated that I probably would not be responding to things most of the question to avoid any unnecessary confrontation with everyone except mine new found friend. I have never been one to be fake but to show my support for the group I would do so by posting something positive. But if there is a problem I won't post it again. I will read to myself.

Cocoa Rican said...

Donya honey... let's breathe and return to that warm fuzzy place. You know I don't have any issues with anyone posting anything. I just want to hear your opinion on our On Blast questions...don't let others steal your voice.

petite morceau said...

I don't think it is absolutely necessary to do everything your partner wants you to do. If something makes you feel uncomfortable or even worse hurts you, then your partner should understand.

If someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat whether or not you give them a reason.

That's why it is important that people know each other well before getting married. Sexual compatibility is very important to a successful, satisfying marriage.

Cocoa Rican said...

Like some of you have suggested, communicating your likes and dislikes will save you a lot of heartache as a relationship progresses. As I mature, I notice that I may like someone very much, but if we are not sexually compatible it just won’t work. As for being compatible, but having a partner that has some “freaky” fetishes you don’t get down with, I say if you’ve never tried it – try it. If you don’t like it, communicate that and see what happens. If a partner truly cares and is satisfied overall, they will forgo enjoying this fetish. A friend of mine had a novel idea of giving her partner a video tape that included many of the fetishes her partner enjoys to keep him occupied and satisfied. An unfaithful partner will cheat whether you do what they want or not. The truth is, cheating has less to do with going outside of the relationship to seek sexual satisfaction than it does with having a disloyal nature. So to sum it up – try it; determine if you can get down with it; communicate alternatives or work-arounds; drop them if they can’t compromise or see your point of view for their fetishes.

caspar608 said...

I absolutely cannot will not get down with anal sex. Period.

Imagine the unobliterated gall of my babies daddy to ask me for such a thing when we were together and he was hung like a horse? I would have had a perforated colon and a completely damaged rectum had I permitted him to enter the exit.

He also wanted me to go as a willing participant to a swingers club in Manhattan....made me feel like it would make us closer....I went but I kept a towel wrapped around me the whole time and I am telling you I repeateded the blessed name of Jesus the entire time I was there. I knew I was surrounded by complete freaks but the whole atmosphere was evil...nobody would look at me. He knew I was uncomfortable so we left. I was disgusted by what I saw there - traumatized even. I went to shut him up, but I never said I would participate and I didn't.

I am actually glad I went though. t gave me a clearer view of how screwed up in the head he was.

donya said...

I know that hector however, he has taking me back to ways that I don't want to be. And he constantly provokes people. I don't like him so to avoid confrontations I won't post. My temper is to short for some simple ass man that likes to knock people down and then speak like he has never said anything degrading. You know me Hector I don't have time for that. I am good with just reading. If there is something that I want to speak on I will and then ignore his comments.

Cocoa Rican said...

Donya,
We just really enoying hearing from our regulars and would feel a loss if you didn't participate...I know some folks can get under your skin and Lord know, I've been put out there a few times... all-in-all, we'll look forward to hearing from you :)
Enjoy the long weekend.

KRISALMIGHTY said...

I absolutely agree with you cocoa. I do feel that when you are dating someone, you should have these important sexual conversations with each other BEFORE y'all start having sex. Communicate your sexual selves and find commonality or alternatives. Compromise is great, but where sex is concerned, compatability is better. As Cocoa said , give it a shot but if it ain't you, it ain't for you.

caspar608 said...

Donya baby...
if I had a dollar for every time someone got on my nerves or offended me I would be able to buy myself a house with cash...no mortgage.
Please don't distance yourself from the rest of us. We love to hear what you have to say. You're family. Speak up. Its hard to keep a good woman down - so keep comin.

donya said...

Caspar,

It's okay, really! Getting on my nerves is one thing but personal attacks on people or using segways to provoke (see 2/15) is totally different. I really don't have patients for cowards, punks or whateva you want to call them. I am real with mine and am afraid of no one on this earth. So instead of allowing him to take me to another level it be best that I not say a thing. But I am still here reading all of your wonderful advice and maybe even take some of them to use.

Just Me said...

I've been a little under the weather that last two days and just so happen I'm feeling a little better....

I don't believe that you should have to step out of your comfort zone to satisfy any partner. If it makes your stomach hurt to think about it, it’s probably is not for you. I have no problem saying "If that's what you want, you'll need to find somebody else." If you attempt to push me out of my comfort area, anger is the next emotion that you’ll feel with passion.
We all must live with ourselves, before we can live with another.

A little advise for you women who have to deal a man wanting their booty....Purchase, if you don't have have, a tool. When your man attempts to use to wrong hole and he already knows that you dislike it. Take your tool and touch his anus and tell him that you can't wait until he gives it up. When the discussion ensues, tell him that you'll give him yours when he gives you his. This can't be considered homosexual behavior because it's between a man and a woman.

Just Me said...

Donya,

The him that you speak appears to be me....
It appears that your still carrying your anger....Please grow, the fuck up...."Taking me back to ways I used to be", damn, sounds like your still there.

Tammy said...

nope. with my partner I will try anything once. (unless it involves animals). but after trying; if i find that it is painful to me then i will not be doing it again. if it is that important to him, then he has the wrong partner.

Tammy said...

donya please...this is your blog just like the rest of us. so what we dont always agree, that is what makes the world go round. if you have something to say just say it. and like hector said...breath.

Cocoa Rican said...

Well, well, well… the dead has arisen. Just Me, stop being mean. Donya is mad cool and I think you enjoy pressing buttons for GP rather than having an actual bone of contention to pick with anyone. Stop being such a sadist pumpkin. Now that you (Just Me) bring it up I’d like to explore the notion of asking a man to undertake anal penetration before allowing him to penetrate you. Assuming you’re a straight man (and I might be reaching here) what happens if he begins to really enjoy it? Does a man’s obsession for penetrating a woman anally say anything about his “actual” preferences? Since male and female booty are exactly the same, is a heterosexual man’s overwhelming desire and preference to penetrate a female’s anus in any way mean that he would try penetrating a man? Ladies, let’s get some opinions here please! :) Straight men definitely chime in – you queers can hold down the cheering section! LOL

Kris! It’s good seeing you out there. I saw Duck at the gym two weeks ago. Please give him my home e-mail address… I told him we can do drinks or something. Also, I’m going to do DC in April (mid April to be exact) any chance we can turn the Mill upside down? LOL

Caspar, are you meeting us at La Mag tonight? I want you to finally join in on the fun!

donya said...

You know I think that everyone is really not understanding when I say that I don't want to respond. It is obvious that Just Me, RoughRiderTito and whateva other name that he goes by like's to come at people. I choose not to give him a reason. Now if that is being childish of me than oh well. This is not a disagreement but a true and well deserved dislike for a person. My choice is to not deal with him. Now please continue with your discussion thread and don't worry about me.

Just Me said...

To Hector's expansion to my assertion.
Great segway!

I would define GAY has the emotional stimulus that one receives from a person of the same sex, so with that said….One booty will be just as good as another. What would you call it when you have a fetish for your own hand?

Cocoa Rican said...

That would be Catholisim. LOL

You're confusing me...can you expand/define like we're five-year olds... what the f*ck do you mean by "I would define GAY has the emotional stimulus that one receives from a person of the same sex, so with that said….One booty will be just as good as another."

Tammy said...

yeah, i wanna know that too, "just me." i think that most straight men would not think that "one booty is just as good as another.

Just Me said...

The dictionary defines Gay as a sexual orientation for a person of the same sex. I define it as receiving emotional stimulation from a person of the same sex.
If you can receive the same gratification from a booty I don't think that you really care if the booty has a penis attached. You want what's in the rear...Women describe us a dogs, saying that we'll take any woman, well what if your man is into booty....? Is one just as good as another, I would think?

KRISALMIGHTY said...

Hey cocoa....I just got a new laptop and I had to make some adjustments but I'm cool now. Let me know when in April and I'm there. The Mill will not be the same when we're done. My b/day is 4/4.

Donya, I'm saddened that you have to be subjected to the rantings of people like "what's his name" whose intellect seems to be constantly on a pedestrian level. Your contributions have been meaningful to us on this blog. Please don't certify anyone psychosocial dysfunction by reacting to it. we love hearing what you have to say. have a great weekend y'all.

Tammy said...

Just Me, if you are a straight man I do think you care if the booty has a penis attached. I have two straight sons ages 22 and 27 (shut up hector) and I asked them does it matter...well after they finished looking at me as if I had grown two heads, they then asked if the could speak freely. I told them yes...their answere HELL YEAH IT MATTERS IF A PENIS IS ATTACHED TO THE BOOTY!!!!

Cocoa Rican said...

Okay Tam, I can't resist... If the boyz aren't sure or need to experiment to see if it REALLY, REALLY, REALLY matters, you know I'm willing to make the sacrifice to have them find out. ...wink, wink... okay, don't kick my azz... I just figured you're face after reading this would be priceless.

Just Me... you're a freak - love it! Love a freak. For the record, I have come across "alleged" straight men who don't mind the source of the booty as long as it was booty. We can discuss this at length after the holiday....although, I definitely am curious to what the straight population thinks.

Tammy said...

I dun tole yo nasty azz to stay away from my chirren!!!